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I can’t speak much about it, because I’m a firm believer that I’ll jinx things, so I decided to blog–privately, for now–about our latest news.

Jorge and I are in a race to buy this house.

The rent is increasing as of August and there’s supposedly someone interested in buying the house. So we have to move fast.

I’ve only mentioned a few things to Michelle, but I don’t want to tell too many people because I’m just nervous and I really want this.

We are pre-approved and we have a meeting on Monday. Although the place is a bit old (built in 1989), and our air conditioning unit likes to take a crap every year, and the bathrooms all need to be remodeled due to old leaks before we ever moved in, and the huge yard needs to be cut every week, and the laundry room’s too narrow, and we need at least 2 more bedrooms, and the living room is recessed (ugh), and I’d like to knock that wall down between the kitchen and dining room…this is home. This has been our home for the past 4 years, 1 month and 27 days.

This is where our kids have grown; grown up, grown close. Where we’ve all grown as a family. Where we have parties on our porch and backyard. Where we snuggle and sprawl all over the living room and watch movies. Where we make cupcakes and new stuff to cook that we found on Pinterest in the kitchen. Where the kids can run in the yard. Where we spend entire Sundays in the laundry room washing and drying clothes and folding into 9 piles. This is home.

When Jorgie, Jaylen, Justin and I went for our jog last night, Jorgie found some paint samples in the center console of the car. He looked at the 3 cards and said, “What are these?? Are we moving??” I laughed and said, “No, it’s just colors I like.” They all agreed they didn’t ever want to move. Justin said, “This is the best yard for football.” I agree.

Back in 2011 when we were looking for a place to rent, we searched everywhere. I remember feeling disappointed about the small, cramped homes we’d see with the tiny yards. The slightly bigger homes would be substantially more expensive. Then Rosie told me about this one. It was in her old neighborhood and there was a for rent sign. We got the number and called and got an appointment to see it. I remember doing the walk-through and feeling a pit of sadness in my belly. I felt like it was almost perfect, and that meant it probably wasn’t going to happen. And then it did, and it became home.

You just can’t find new homes like this, with these big yards and big rooms. Not unless you want to pay tons more money. And we don’t!

We have an appointment on Monday to determine what the next step is. That’s what life’s been about lately: next steps. But it’s all about the bigger picture.