Category: Books

2021 So Far – Super Quick Recap

Feeling super adulty today. I didn’t sleep in and I did most of the laundry yesterday, which I usually do on Sundays and am killing myself at 12am when there’s still shit to be dried. Anyway! So I only have a couple of loads of towels to wash and then I’m done with that. I also filed my taxes–hell yeahhh! I remember waiting till the last minute last year and then bitching when my refund took forever LOL. I’ve got bills to pay this year so, I’m on pins and needles waiting for that money.

So since my last post: I’m liking my job. Love the pay (even though taxes, retirement and health insurances KILL ME), love that I have my own area (cubicle–my first job where I’m posted up in a cubicle!) and I get to read at my desk during lunch. My co-workers are all awesome, but I only get to see 2 of them every 2 weeks. How do I explain it? Like, they’re scheduled for 2 weeks in a row and then they telework for 4 weeks or some crap like that. Luckies. But I recently started teleworking once a week, which is nice, but this past week was a disaster. The internet kept crapping out, I deleted a file from our SharePoint like a dumbass that I couldn’t retrieve and then I had to go in halfway through the day because a shipment of supplies was being delivered *face palm*. My boss didn’t reply to my texts about going in because he was in a meeting and I didn’t want to end up HAVING to go in and being in a hurry, so I panicked and went in. He sees me in the office and says, “What are you doing here??” *face palm #2* But it was still a good day.

I met one of my female co-workers for the first time this week and I just love her. We are both girly, love pink and plants. And have tons in common! She even gave me cuttings from her beautiful ivy!

As for Jorge and I…we decided around…December? that we would see how things would go between us. He did start taking meds for his mental health issues (but forgets to sometimes and then we both can’t handle it) and he did see a psychiatrist like I suggested (but then stopped going). Most of the time he’s the “old, OLD Jorge”–the Jorge that was always completely infatuated with me and just loved spending time with me. But sometimes, like lately, the “bad, old Jorge” makes an appearance and I can’t deal. It brings back too many bad memories. I’ve decided that this year I’m working on my inner peace and dealing with his (or anyone’s) bullshit ain’t for me. Not doing that anymore. It’s taking a lot of motivation that I’m struggling to find, but I’m working on my goals this year.

My kiddos are doing fine, even though Eenan doesn’t come over as often as he used to, but we do video chat. Jaylen, Alaethia and Emmos are here the majority of the month, but still visit their dad (who is, amazingly, buying his own house after all these years). I’m still renting my same house, but hoping that’ll change in the future. So much of my money gone to waste on rent, but at least we have a roof over our heads.

Dimitri (John’s baby) turned 2 on January 30th.

Alaethia turned 14 last month and Emily turns 12 this month–crazy!!

They’ve recently gotten really into working out; I hope they continue long enough so that I can join them. I’m telling you–that damn motivation is hard to find! I’ve unsuccessfully started and re-started Keto. I messed up this weekend, again. But I NEED to get on the ball. I’m holding steady at 142-145. FML!!!

I’d rather read (“Luster” by Raven Leilani, “When No One is Watching” by Alyssa Cole are my most recent finished reads) than go for a walk, but I did yesterday with the girls. It was nice taking Jack Jack with us (oh, Jack is my Shih Tzu that Martha gave us <3 !).

I don’t think I wrote about it, but around September/October, mom started having really bad pains in her back and started losing mobility in her legs due to the pain. She had about 3 falls–with the last one being so bad that I asked Aunt Nora for help with getting her into a nursing home. It was a good thing I showed up after work that day, because after Linda left, Mom decided to go to the kitchen for lunch and fell and stayed there all those hours till I showed up. I didn’t have a key to John’s apartment so I had to call the ambulance and ask John to please hurry. He got there before the ambulance did, thank goodness. It was heartbreaking to see her there on the floor when we barged in but we didn’t want to move her. The EMT’s did and she was in so much pain. Turned out that she had several old fractures and the newest one was causing the intense pain. She decided on her own after that that she did want to be in a nursing home. It was a relief. I thought she would become more depressed, but she’s got some awesome neighbors and roommate and nurses. Her roommate, Sonia, and her very good friend, Bill, spend time with mom and have actually gotten her to go out and play bingo and get her nails done. I’m so happy she’s happy. I have to get a Covid test done every 2 weeks to ensure that I’m negative and to be able to visit her, but it’s worth it to see her.

The girls (my friends) and I had been having weekly Girl’s Nights, but because Covid is once again on the rise, we’ve kind of halted. Mary, from Quinta Mazatlan, passed away due to Covid. It was a shock. Duvin, my old co-worker from TABC, passed away from a heart attack. It’s just so sad. Javi is also very sick. He’s back in Austin with Dinah. He hasn’t replied to messages or tagged me in cat posts on Facebook like he used to, so that worries me also. I know his condition is very grave, but we’re all hoping for a miracle.

Ok, going to make sure these girls get the dishes in the dishwasher before I start the foods for Superbowl. Go Tom Brady! I mean, Buccaneers!!

This Only Happens to Me, Part 2

I am so mad at myself. And this happened to me because of me, which is the most frustrating part. I can’t even blame anyone else!

The one thing I feared happening, happened. I lost my damn phone. It was a beautiful, holographic Samsung Note 10 with a cute case and glittery Pop Socket. All my photos!! My eBooks!! My memes!!

I’m most devastated about my photos. And my darn memory card. I have never lost a phone in my life. And all because I went somewhere when I should have stayed home. I even had a FEELING I should stay home. Why don’t I ever listen to instincts??

It all started Monday, Labor Day. I slept in a little and was going to spend the day cleaning and watching Season 3 of 90 Day Fiancé: Where Are They Now? But first, I made French toast for the kiddos.

I started laundry and ate 2 pieces of French toast. Yes, I had carbs–you would have, too. These slices of bread had BERRIES in them. Then I get a message from Mel around 1pm asking if I wanted to meet her and her friend Edith at Yardhouse. I was feeling incredibly lazy, comfy and I hadn’t even showered, but she said we could meet at 3pm. I got ready in a hurry and met her at her house and we took off together to Yardhouse.

We had a good time catching up and gossiping and talking about our lives and our plans. Then we got to talking with Edith when she arrived. We had drinks, and shots and more drinks. Then we ended up at the beach on a Monday evening when I have work the next day [insert facepalm emoji here]. It was around this time that I thought, Shit. I should have stayed home.

We laughed, we drank some more, we had fun, I somehow fell and scraped my knee with sand and then we head home around 1am. (Neither of us were driving, by the way.) I hear my phone so I answer Jorge’s text, who is quite obviously livid by this point. I have my phone in my lap and when we arrive at Mel’s truck she says, “Don’t forget your phone.” And I’m feeling around my lap and the floor and it’s GONE. Just gone. I had literally just texted Jorge 15 minutes prior. We looked and felt around and then we gave up. I couldn’t believe it was missing. Mel suggested that maybe it was on my lap but I dropped it in the parking lot. But I knew it had to be in the truck. I didn’t hear anything fall.

I get home, Jorge is pissed, naturally, and I strip down and shower because I have sand everywhere. We get into a quick fight and we both have to work in the morning so he takes his usual spot on the sofa and I go to bed. I feel like I went to sleep and woke up in 30 minutes. I feel like absolute shit and then I remember my poor phone is missing. I don’t know if it was the panic and sadness of losing my phone, or the amount of alcohol I had the night before or if it was my anxiety (or all of the above) but I was chihuahua-shaky all day with heart palpitations. It was awful.

Still, I held out hope all day that Edith would find my phone in the truck somewhere. I call it several times and it’s already dead and it hasn’t been charged so maybe someone didn’t pick it up in the parking lot. When I get the text from Mel that, nope, it’s nowhere to be found in the truck, I want to cry. I ask my boss if I can leave early so I can check if we dropped it in the parking lot of the mall (I knew it was a long shot), where we’d left Mel’s truck before leaving to the island with Edith. He lets me (he’s a saint) and I leave and arrive at the parking lot. I walk, in tall-ass heels, a flowy dress in the wind and with a badly bruised knee (my bad knee, to top it off), throughout the parking lot, checking under cars in 100 degree weather and nothing. Not even little shards of glass where someone may have run it over (I could have at least gotten my memory card out 🙁 ). I even go to each of the restaurants in the area and ask if anyone found a phone and nothing. I check with the mall’s lost and found. Nothing.

I am, once again, swearing off alcohol. I can’t believe I was so stupid!

The next day comes and as I’m leaving to work in the morning I notice my stupid back passenger tire is going flat. Great. All I need. My boss and one of the Sergeants are having a brief meeting and I told them about the tire. They both said they saw it and I should take care of it now. So I go to the tire shop and I’m told both back tires are BAD; there’s hardly any tread left. So how much does this cost? A whopping $650. No phone for me this week!

Since I’ve grounded myself the only outings I’ve had this week are work, of course, going to Goodwill during lunch on Friday to purchase some books and then Dee’s little girl’s birthday party at Xtreme Jump on Friday evening. Mel and I met there with our girls and their friends. I had already gotten to 137.9 lbs. from the stress of the week, but I’m sure I gained 2 lbs back from having flaming hots with cheese and chili. It was so good, though. No regrets. But then Mel and I started talking about our night out at the beach and we started talking about OMG what if we get the Rona?? Our throats were feeling itchy and my nose was running. So I got home and made some tea and took my vitamins.

By the next morning, I was better, thank God.

Visited mom and John today (wearing a mask, social distancing and Germ-x’ing, just in case) and ate lunch with them. On the way to Whataburger, away from Mom, John and I talked about our current mental health. It’s crazy how similar we are.

So that’s where I’m at right now. Using my iPad and Messenger for communication. Yes, I feel sorry for myself and yes, I’m owning my mistakes. Thank goodness for upping my anti-depressant/anxiety meds dosage last month, or else I would have been a basket case. I’ve been pretty calm, all things considered, and I’ve only cried twice! So that’s some progress. Been reading (finished “Where the Crawdads Sing” that Sally gifted me on my birthday and finally finished “Big Little Lies”. Just started “13 Reasons Why”) and still watching 90-Day Fiancé: Where Are They Now? Currently watching the “Tell All” of Season 3. These couples are probably my favorite cause they’re so scandalous! They make me feel normal 😆 . Anyway. Here’s hoping my next post will be more positive.

My A.D.D. Always Kicks In

I’m still alive. Just been enjoying summer and at the same time, trying not to go completely batty having all 4 (loud) kids home at the same time LOL. I took for granted just how peaceful it was when the boys were in school during the day. The girls would get to sleep without being bothered. I could nap if I wanted to. Emily would take her afternoon nap when she was supposed to. But now the boys are constantly yelling; at each other or just, you know, randomly. Poor Emily wakes up screaming every time. The boys love to play with Alaethia, but she’s a little diva and can only take so much of their energy LOL. She’ll smack them and squeal for them to leave her alone.

My favorite thing to do when I have a chance, of course, is to surf the web. I probably have plenty of time to update my blog, but right when I log in to WordPress I somehow get distracted and start looking for Re-ment stuff on Ebay. I’ve become quite obsessed with those little miniatures recently. I’ve got Rachel to thank for introducing me to the world of minis! Shoot, I’ve even got Mom and Mary collecting them!

A Few Things

Those are just a FEW of the gazillion things I’ve collected the past few months!

I also get distracted by browsing through people’s photos on Flickr, search for decorating ideas on Flickr or I’ll chat on Twitter. I hardly even use my Myspace or Facebook anymore, either. I guess whoever’s following me on Twitter has the most up-to-date goings-on of my life.

And when I’m not plastered to the laptop I’m reading. I’m still on Breaking Dawn. Crazy shiz happening in that book. I won’t go into detail so as not to ruin it for anyone, but it’s crazy. I still think New Moon was probably my favorite. I CANNOT WAIT for that movie! So many awesome movies are coming out in the next few weeks, too!

So yeah, I’m doing great. Loving the awesome new, comfy living room. Not enjoying the scorching heat; we’re probably going to end up having to get a bigger central air unit: this one doesn’t feel like it’s cooling much anymore, probably due to the extra square footage and the fact that the heat index’s been 105-116 the past few days. Bleh.

As for the kiddos, Emily’s such a doll. I never knew what people meant when they said they had “happy babies” until I had Emily. It’s so easy to keep her happy. I don’t even have a problem lugging her around with me everywhere. As long as she’s in her sling, nestled near me, she’s completely happy :).

Alaethia, like I mentioned earlier, is turning into quite the diva. Everyone’s amazed by how much she speaks “for a two-year-old” but it’s really nothing new to me. She’s been a chatterbox since she was around 7 months old. Mario says she takes after me LOL. She’s really into her Noggin shows right now, especially “Max and Ruby”, “Ni-Hao Kai-Lan”, “Wonder Pets” (she sings the song ALL THE TIME!), and “Backyardigans”. I’m not too fond of those last two, but what can I do? LOL

I definitely need to start sitting down with her and teaching her the colors and alphabet. She’s excellent with shapes but she’s still confused about the other two. As for potty-training, she’s a pro, though she still has her accidents at night but not too often, thank goodness.

The boys are doing great, when they’re not trying to smack each other. But I separate them and what do they do? They’re together 10 seconds later, like magnets. Jaylen’s had some anger issues, which I can only blame on “middle-child syndrome” but we’re working on it. I have noticed that he’s gotten better.

Eenan’s usually the instigator when it comes to their arguments and physical fights but he’s a lovable kid at the same time. He’s usually the one who tries to calm Jaylen and Alaethia down when he notices that I’m getting frustrated. He’s having to learn responsibility for a pet since he’s got Daisy and Lady to take care of now. He’s not too happy about it sometimes, but I remind him that they’re really cute and someone would really love to adopt them and he gets right on task LOL.

We took the boys to the library this past Tuesday and they each checked out a stack of books. They were all excited about it that day and read for a good hour without being “told” to, but the novelty wore off. Eenan’s been more reluctant about reading. I’ve got to get them on some kind of schedule so that they know when they can and can’t play video games and when it’s time to read and learn and go outside to get some exercise. I don’t want them to become couch potatoes, or act like it’s the end of the world when they can’t pass a level on a video game.

Mario and I are doing great, I’m thrilled to say. Ever since I stopped working and he went back to his old job we’ve been on Cloud 9 again, like nothing ever changed. We’re spending time together, he’s actually getting to see the kids and we watch movies in the evening in the new living room (which is almost complete; Mario just finished up the shelves, we just gotta paint them), either by ourselves or Jason, Mirella and Adan come join us.

Almost-finished Corner Shelves

I’ve become quite the social drinker (LOL) and we have a few cocktails before bed while we watch TV, chat, or surf the web when the kiddos are asleep. I love that boy :).

Pineapple Rum Thingies!

Noelia should be coming over tomorrow and we have a dinner to go to. I’m hoping I can get some cleaning time in and I’ve really got to spend that gift card Pete and Sally gave us from Pier 1! Maybe on Sunday, if Mario gets a chance between all that extra work he’s got. It’s all for the family LOL. He’s quite the popular one!