Had a girl’s night out with Mary and Noelia . Felt so nice to be “away” for a while, but in the back of my head I was worrying about the kids because John was babysitting . We watched Bridget Jones’ Diary The Edge of Reason. I almost didn’t want to watch it because I thought it would be dumb, but I’m so glad I did! It was hilarious and so cute. I’m actually listening to the soundtrack right now .
I noticed I’m a bit like Bridget Jones. I often feel fat and uncomfortable, feel like I said something wrong, and usually do something strange and embarrass myself . Poor Mario, who has to put up with me LOL. The movie got me thinking about how I feel about myself now, which got me thinking about how I used to feel about myself. I remember back when I was thinner–back when Mario and I were still dating–he’d introduce me to friends of his and heads would turn, and he’d constantly get complimented on how pretty his girlfriend was. I miss that. I miss being complimented, I miss Mario grinning from ear to ear because he was that proud of me being his. He still is, don’t get me wrong. Just tonight when I dropped a CD off for him at work his face lit up when he saw me. Then when he got home he said I looked “so gorgeous” tonight. I thanked him of course, I just wish I could actually believe it. I’ve always had low self-esteem and have always been highly self-conscious about myself, but I’ve been even more-so as of late. I feel…really fat. It bothers me, feeling this way. I never thought I’d have this “problem”. I was always thin, could eat as much as I wanted and never gained weight. But then, I had kids and there went my metabolism. Then there is the whole issue with my boobs (or ‘Wobbly Bits’ as Bridget referred to them)…ugh, I don’t even want to go there. I wish I could buy a dress and not be popping out of it. I can buy an Extra Large and I’ll be swimming in it, but my boobs will still be having trouble keeping themselves in. I wish I could snap my fingers and be back in shape, but it doesn’t work that way. Being busy all the time doesn’t allow for much work-out time. Then I tell myself, “Just be happy the way you are.” But it’s easier said than done *sigh*.
Anyway, enough of that, my pity party LOL. I’ll get over it. Movies do that to me. They get me thinking, which isn’t always positive thinking. *smacks self*
Eenan’s optometrist appointment went well. He was very antsy because they took an awful long time, but he was very cooperative. He is going to need glasses . He’s got astigmatism like his daddy. Today, we went for his follow-up with the doctor and they drew blood again, poor baby. He screamed, “I don’t want her (the nurse) to take my blood! I want it to stay in!” LOL I hope this time we get better results. Dr. Z is still boggled by the fact that Eenan looks so healthy, but his test results say the opposite. It’s been so hectic with all the appointments this week. That’s a huge factor in my being over tired and stressed. I have to be rushing around after the appointments. I only get about 2 hours to make dinner, Mario’s lunch, feed the kids, spend a bit of time talking with Mario after he gets home, bathe both kids, brush their teeth, read them 2 stories (they each request one), wash dishes, and if I haven’t done so during the day, take a shower. I’m hoping next week will be more relaxed–especially with a 5 day weekend coming up!
Mom’s doctor’s appointment went well. She’s going to be off work for a week because of the infection in her eye. Her diabetes had skyrocketed when they checked her on Thursday and they wanted to admit her into the hospital, but when they checked her this morning she was fine, thank God. I want to see Gramma this weekend. I hope we have time. I started priming the walls for painting this afternoon at the apartment. I’m gonna start painting tomorrow. John’s here and he’ll help me. I hope we finish soon. It’s such a drag having to paint .
Gonna get in bed now. It’s WAYYY past my bedtime and I will surely regret staying up this late in the morning.