Just finished eating a hot ham and cheese sandwich, Salsa Verde Doritos & Tostitos cheese, and an Apple Fanta soda…that’ll hit the spot :). Went grocery shopping for the rest of the stuff we needed this morning and actually got some munchies (a.k.a. junk food)…I’m sure I’ll regret this at the end of the week when I’ve gained 10 lbs.
I really need to do something to make some money. My little Thrift Shop sure isn’t bringing much in and the shop I was going to start with my homemade bags and things isn’t taking off anytime soon because you need money to make money and well, I ain’t got no money. I don’t even know if anyone would buy anything and it would all be in vain. Mario’s supposed to get the job with Jorge by the end of this month or the beginning of November. I hope it happens. This past month has been hell. It sucks having to rely on our family for financial help. It sucks not being able to go out and rent movies, go out to a movie, buy the kids things they want like we used to, or buy things for ourselves like we used to. We’re so lucky we have Mario’s family helping us or else we’d be homeless somewhere, no kidding. Our cars aren’t working…the Sentra took a shit again and that’s because Mario had just replaced some parts. Now it has some oil leak. The Prelude is still dead. $3,500 on that car for nothing. We’ve had problems with it since after a week that Mario bought it. Mario and I were talking this morning…and I hate to say this and I don’t want to lose faith, but it almost feels as if God’s picking on us. Like he’s overlooked us or something. I don’t like comparing myself to other people…but look at Jorge and Maggie. Jorge didn’t even go to college, and here he is, assistant manager with a brand-new house and a nice truck. TWO nice trucks. Mario went to school, he busted his ass working at the hospital all those years and what? This is what we get? I just want to go out and get a job but I’ll be damned if I’m going to leave Jaylen at some daycare around here. He’s too little to go to Head Start and I’ve heard horror stories about that place, too. I’d ask Mom to watch him…and go through that program where they’d pay her for it but you already have to have a job or be going to school and well, I don’t. I’m not even sure how much she’d be making. I’d go out and look for a job right now if it was guaranteed that I’d get one and that they’d pay Mom more through CCMS (that program) than at her current job. She barely made $249 this month and that’s because they paid her her “vacation” money. They paid her a measly $2 an hour for her “paid vacation”…which is total bull because that’s not what she makes. She barely has enough to pay the bills this month and is highly considering taking up Aunt Nora’s offer and moving in with her. It sucks. I wish they wouldn’t have to have financial problems either. I’d hate for John to have to move over there. Mom too. Then, Mario hates driving me around as it is–how would I see them? I mean, I can drive, but I’m still not experienced enough to drive to Boonieville where Aunt Nora lives. I can’t believe, back in ’01 when I had just started working for Old Navy, I went with Mom to her audiologist (she has a hearing disability) and the Dr. offered me a job because he liked my phone etiquette. He had already started giving me a tour of the practice, and of the office I’d be working at and my station and everything. He described what my job would be. He handed me an application and asked me to start ASAP. And I had to turn it down because I’d just gotten the job at Old Navy and the hours Mario and I were working weren’t convenient for that job. I cringe just thinking about it. Why can’t I get a break like that now?! Now that I NEED it!?! WHEN will we get our break?!?!?!