Category: Dream

And Me Without My Camera!

(OOH, it’s the 4th now! HAPPY 4TH OF JULY, EVERYONE! Have a great one!)

Since Alaethia didn’t fall asleep till 2am and I stayed up finishing the layout/uploading the blog till 2:30am, I was having a hard time falling asleep. Didn’t help that there was thunder rumbling outside. By the time I did fall asleep I was so exhausted I slept like a rock till 6:00, when I heard Alaethia coughing and eventually choking. After making sure she was okay I got back into bed and, once again, had a hard time going to sleep. The alarm went off an hour and a half later so I unwillingly rolled out of bed and groggily ironed.

I stayed awake even after Mario left to work because Jaylen and Alaethia woke up as soon as Mario walked out the door. He wanted cheesy eggs and apple juice, so I obliged. I knew, from the night before, that Eenan wanted Cocoa Pebbles for breakfast so I got all that ready for him and made to go back to bed. Mary knocks on the door and asks if I wanted to go to the movies after all. Shoot. I’d totally forgotten she’d invited us yesterday. I decided not to go since I wasn’t going to get a chance to shower and there was no way I was leaving the house without one. Plus, Alaethia was still awake and quickly getting moody since she’s usually asleep at that time. There was no way she’d let me watch the movie in peace. So I gave the boys quick showers and they left with Mary to watch Ratatouille (sp?). Another movie I miss!

I tried going to sleep after Alaethia went to sleep. I was quickly getting tired of tossing and turning so I was about to give up and just make some coffee. Next thing I remember is my heart trying to escape my chest and springing out of bed after having a horrible dream that a big, huge man was trying to force himself on me in his truck. Ugly, ugly dream.

I just chilled out with Alaethia and then Mom once she was back from her doctor’s appointment. I mentioned how she’d been throwing up and I was pointing the finger at her pills? Well, turns out she was taking 4 more pills A DAY than she should have been. I wrote a note for her to give to her doctor, asking her to please write down her medications and dosages and that’s when I realized she’d been doubling up on some. My Mother. She spent a whole month feeling like crap when she could have prevented it by just reading some labels. Now she’s going to have to go in for more lab work and she was referred to a gastrointestinal specialist, just in case. They’re only taking precautions, but I’m a bit worried about that since stomach cancer runs in our family. I’m just glad she lives next door or who knows what shape she’d be in.

Mary and the kids got back a little later and Mom stayed with the kids while I accompanied Mary to find a gift for Natalie. It was still a bit overcast since it’d rained the whole night before, but there were no signs of it raining at the time. When we’re getting into Palmview we can see lightning streaking down and thunder crashing every few seconds and it was pouring. It was scary–I’m so not used to that during broad daylight. We get into Mission and are shocked to see just how flooded it is over there. The frontage roads were flooded going East and West. The water reached the bottom of the doors of cars and as we got further into the street (Conway), it was even worse. When we got to the shop and just sat there contemplating when it would be a good time to get down. The water would come and go, almost as if someone was tossing huge buckets of water on the car. At one point it got really silent so we hurried out just to be hit with a huge splash of water!

We didn’t find anything at the shop, unfortunately, so we went off to McAllen. Big mistake. It was awful. There were people stranded, just waiting at the Big Tex juice factory because they couldn’t get out of the parking lot because of how flooded it was. There was cops everywhere. We found something for her at the next shop (whose roof had broken a few inches and half the store was flooded!) and it wasn’t too bad over there, but coming back East it was awful. There was even an SUV that turned on it’s side near a Kmart, which later came out on the news. It was chaos–I’d never expected it to flood like that over here! I can’t even imagine how it’s like for the people in Kansas and North Texas.

I’d called Mario to work to see how it was over there, because that area (which is where I used to live) floods even when there aren’t Flash Flood warnings. Sure enough, he said he’d had to put on rain boots and rain coat just to walk outside.

I still can’t believe I forgot my camera, though. Darnit. The ONE TIME I take it out of my bag!

I was too glad to be home. While Alaethia napped I fixed a few things here and there on the layout and I almost died when Frontpage got an error and SHUT DOWN on me. I’d lost all my new work. THEN, to my absolute horror, I realize the file size is ‘0’. I open the file again and sure enough, it’s gone. After counting to 10 about 5 times I noticed the .css had made a copy of itself in my server. THANK GOD. So if you were on here at that time and everything was all wonky, that was why, heh.

I made tacos for dinner, then banana bread. I just finished up with that about half an hour ago. Mary gave me all these bananas that would definitely go bad if they weren’t eaten by today, so what better way to use extremely ripe bananas than make banana bread? I made a batch and a half. YUM! The boys will be thrilled in the morning (they’re sleeping over at their Nana’s).

I’m going to bed. Alaethia’s super moody. We had a scare earlier today where Ricky, Big Mario’s friend, called in a panic to tell us he’d been diagnosed with Shingles and he’d carried Alaethia yesterday. GULP. I hope she’ll be alright. She hasn’t had the Varicella or Measles shots yet, because she’s not of age yet, so help us pray that she’ll be alright!

36-37? Week Appointment

During the little bouts of sleep I got to experience between Rocko’s crazy barking outside and my waking up to pee, I had a dream that I’d gone to the doctor and she (although my doctor’s a he) exclaimed while giving me a pelvic exam, “You’re at 2 centimeter’s dilated, Miss Yajaira!”

I sit up quickly (this confirmed that I was dreaming since there’s NO WAY I’d actually be able to get up that fast from a laying position in my current state) and say, “Oh my gosh! Will she stay in there till Sunday? Sunday’s my baby shower!”

The nurse looks at me sadly and says, “Oh no, Miss. I don’t think so!”

This was on my mind all morning up until my actual appointment at 9:15. I even told Mario and Mary about it.

After dropping Mario off at John’s workplace to pick up the Sentra (John’d borrowed it to get to work since it was freezing this morning) and then having some quick breakfast (Honey Bunches of Oats cereal) I left to my appointment. I forgot to change my shoes; I was wearing black spongey flip flops instead of changing into my black flats or socks and Adidas and my feet were frozen. Didn’t feel any better once I got to the office where it felt as cold inside as it was outside.

They called me in pretty fast today. I was so surprised. I got there at 9:06 and I was in by 9:20–to the vitals room anyway.

I gained a pound; I now weigh 135.5 since Friday (when I was 134.6), my blood pressure was fine but once again they had to prick my finger to check for high glucose since it was high in my urine. My sugar was at 115, which is good, but the doctor was concerned with my numbers from Friday, which were 160–too high for me. I told him about the waffles and syrup and coffee I had but he said even then it shouldn’t be that high. He thinks I “may have become a little diabetic.” I asked him if it was possible, since my 1hr Glucose Test came back diabetes-free. He said that yes, it was totally possible. Great! At least there’s only 3 weeks left. He didn’t say I had to change my diet or take any meds, so that’s cool.

I sat in Room 3, the sono room I’m usually in and waited to be seen. I was shaking with cold again. Erica, the nurse, peeks her head in and says, “I have good news and bad news: The bad news is you need to be checked “down there”, so you need to strip from the waist down…which means you’re going to get colder. The good news is you’re 36 weeks!” That last part is not true–I’m 37 darn weeks!

I already knew about the pelvic exam so I obeyed and stripped down. The floor was cold, the examination table was frigid, even with the “sterile” paper and plastic napkin on it that I’d be sitting on. I tried to wrap myself as best as possible with the long, white paper “blanket” they’d given me but of course that didn’t work out. There was an annoying draft blowing on my backside :(.

I tried reading my book again to get my mind off of my chattering teeth and finally, after 15 terrible minutes, Dr. C. came in.

He did a sono first, lectured me about possibly being mildly diabetic, and started pressing on my tummy. Alaethia does not like being poked at or bothered. I should know: that’s how I get her to start moving at night to do my Kick Counts :P. She immediately started squiggling around, which hurt like hell since I was lying flat on my back.

He performs an ultrasound to check her measurements. She’s growing well, thank goodness, and weighs approximately 6 lbs. right now :). I asked him if she still had room and water in there (Jaylen didn’t around this time, which is why they induced) and he said she had plenty of fluid and as for space, he said she’d stretch me out more if she needed to. I wasn’t too happy about that last part–I have enough “new” stretch marks, thank you!

I completely forgot to take my camera with me this time, so I didn’t get any pictures of her. Her head is huge though, and so is her abdomen! Her head’s wedged really deep in my pelvis now, which I can literally feel with every step I take!

After the U.S. came the dreadful pelvic exam. He kept telling me to relax but 1), I was freezing still and 2), I’m not too fond of having another man’s fingers shoved up there, thankyouverymuch. I loathe pelvic exams!

I told them about the dream I had and he said, “Well, let’s see!” I felt a twinge of pain and lots of pressure so I yelped, “Ouch!” and he replied, “Sorry, sorry! I’m trying to move her head so I can get a good measurement of your cervix.”

I think, Move her head?!

“Her head? She’s that low already that it’s right there?!” He says, “Yup!” and then, “Aha…you’re at about 1 1/2 to 2 centimeters.”

Remembering the dream I ask, “Will she stay in there till Sunday? Sunday’s my baby shower!” and he says, “Oh, yes. She can be in there for weeks.” WHEW!

I go back next Wednesday. I asked about my vision changing and if I should get new glasses and he said yes, it happens to a lot of pregnant women but that I should wait a few weeks till after she’s born to get a new prescription. He said sometimes womens’ vision even gets better (but unfortunately for me, that’s not the case). I’ll have to avoid driving at night if I can help it, since it’s then that I can’t see too well.

So I’m really nervous. I can’t believe she’s so low already and that I’ve actually dilated more than a centimeter. Who knows, maybe labor won’t take forever this time like it did with the boys. I just hope and pray I can get an epidural and if anything, at least make it to the hospital. There’d be nothing worse than giving birth in my truck and only being in the company of my brother *shudder*. He’d pass out before I would.

On Pins and Needles

I had the weirdest dream last night. Well, this morning actually. I was already in labor and Mario and I had decided that this time we’d have a Home Birth. We were both trained in everything we needed to do in case complications arose. When it was time to deliver, Mario of course cut the umbillical cord and did everything necessary during a delivery. When he wrapped the baby up in a blanket and put the baby on my chest I noticed it was a boy. I started panicking and said, “Where’s my girl?! What happened to our baby girl??”

In my dream I could feel myself hyperventilating and as Mario tried to calm me down I kept yelling, “There should be another one coming! The doctor said there were two babies and one’s a girl!”

An hour passed and nothing. No baby. Not even the afterbirth appeared after having the baby boy. We were getting ready to go to the hospital when I “woke up” from that dream in the dream and started telling Mario about it. We were walking with a stroller in tow downtown in McAllen. Then an old classmate from Middle School (Daisy) passed by us with a stroller and asked what had happened. And then I woke up.

I felt strange when I woke up–almost disappointed and then guilty for feeling disappointed. I kept thinking, “What if this baby is a boy and all this time I’ve felt it in my gut that it’s a girl?” I thought I was prepared and fine with the idea of having another son if this wasn’t a baby girl. At the same time, I feel like my maternal instincts are failing me since I’m almost certain this baby’s a girl. Then panic set in and I thought, “We haven’t even thought of a decent boy name!”

Maybe I’m subconciously preparing myself just in case this is a boy since my 15 week appointment is next Wednesday. This is the appointment where they may just tell me the baby’s gender. I’m also nervous because they’ll be doing the AFP bloodwork and that’s the point with Jaylen’s pregnancy when everything started going wrong. I was hoping for a girl last time and once I found out I would possibly loose Jaylen due to a chromosome defect I immediately started praying for a healthy baby and felt horrible for wishing for a certain gender–I didn’t care if it was a girl or a boy anymore. I’ve constantly prayed that this baby be healthy, no matter what sex it is because I don’t want history to repeat itself.

I know every pregnancy is different, but I’m so scared that they’re going to say that the AFP came back abnormal like last time. I’m not having an amniocentesis this time, no matter what the results are. But at the same time, I’m nervous that something could possibly go wrong. It’s so nerve wracking. I’m probably reading too much into it, but I’m a worrier at heart.

We’ll see. I’m nervously awaiting next week’s appointment. In the meantime, Mario and I better start agreeing on a boy name we both like, just in case ;).