Category: Kiddos

Bridget Jones Is My Alter Ego

Had a girl’s night out with Mary and Noelia . Felt so nice to be “away” for a while, but in the back of my head I was worrying about the kids because John was babysitting . We watched Bridget Jones’ Diary The Edge of Reason. I almost didn’t want to watch it because I thought it would be dumb, but I’m so glad I did! It was hilarious and so cute. I’m actually listening to the soundtrack right now .

I noticed I’m a bit like Bridget Jones. I often feel fat and uncomfortable, feel like I said something wrong, and usually do something strange and embarrass myself . Poor Mario, who has to put up with me LOL. The movie got me thinking about how I feel about myself now, which got me thinking about how I used to feel about myself. I remember back when I was thinner–back when Mario and I were still dating–he’d introduce me to friends of his and heads would turn, and he’d constantly get complimented on how pretty his girlfriend was. I miss that. I miss being complimented, I miss Mario grinning from ear to ear because he was that proud of me being his. He still is, don’t get me wrong. Just tonight when I dropped a CD off for him at work his face lit up when he saw me. Then when he got home he said I looked “so gorgeous” tonight. I thanked him of course, I just wish I could actually believe it. I’ve always had low self-esteem and have always been highly self-conscious about myself, but I’ve been even more-so as of late. I feel…really fat. It bothers me, feeling this way. I never thought I’d have this “problem”. I was always thin, could eat as much as I wanted and never gained weight. But then, I had kids and there went my metabolism. Then there is the whole issue with my boobs (or ‘Wobbly Bits’ as Bridget referred to them)…ugh, I don’t even want to go there. I wish I could buy a dress and not be popping out of it. I can buy an Extra Large and I’ll be swimming in it, but my boobs will still be having trouble keeping themselves in. I wish I could snap my fingers and be back in shape, but it doesn’t work that way. Being busy all the time doesn’t allow for much work-out time. Then I tell myself, “Just be happy the way you are.” But it’s easier said than done *sigh*.

Anyway, enough of that, my pity party LOL. I’ll get over it. Movies do that to me. They get me thinking, which isn’t always positive thinking. *smacks self*

Eenan’s optometrist appointment went well. He was very antsy because they took an awful long time, but he was very cooperative. He is going to need glasses . He’s got astigmatism like his daddy. Today, we went for his follow-up with the doctor and they drew blood again, poor baby. He screamed, “I don’t want her (the nurse) to take my blood! I want it to stay in!” LOL I hope this time we get better results. Dr. Z is still boggled by the fact that Eenan looks so healthy, but his test results say the opposite. It’s been so hectic with all the appointments this week. That’s a huge factor in my being over tired and stressed. I have to be rushing around after the appointments. I only get about 2 hours to make dinner, Mario’s lunch, feed the kids, spend a bit of time talking with Mario after he gets home, bathe both kids, brush their teeth, read them 2 stories (they each request one), wash dishes, and if I haven’t done so during the day, take a shower. I’m hoping next week will be more relaxed–especially with a 5 day weekend coming up!

Mom’s doctor’s appointment went well. She’s going to be off work for a week because of the infection in her eye. Her diabetes had skyrocketed when they checked her on Thursday and they wanted to admit her into the hospital, but when they checked her this morning she was fine, thank God. I want to see Gramma this weekend. I hope we have time. I started priming the walls for painting this afternoon at the apartment. I’m gonna start painting tomorrow. John’s here and he’ll help me. I hope we finish soon. It’s such a drag having to paint .

Gonna get in bed now. It’s WAYYY past my bedtime and I will surely regret staying up this late in the morning.


Ball of Emotions

Thank you to all who’ve prayed/wished Eenan a quick recovery . It really, truly means a lot.

Thank you to those who voted for my Trick-or-treat patches at the Qbee. My creepy bear one was a Bee’s Favorite and my slime-filled cauldron with eyeballs and candy corn got a ‘Best Treat’ prize. Also, many thanks to those who voted for my Member Patch Revamp patches…one of them got a prize for getting 10-13 votes. So, thank you everyone!!

I’ve been an emotional mess today. I was okay in the morning. Got up, got Eenan ready, got myself and Jaylen ready and I took him to school. Came back home, made breakfast for Jaylen and I, stuck Mario’s shirt in to wash then dry, woke Mario up and made him breakfast, packed his lunch, ironed his shirt and we hugged/kissed goodbye and he left for work. That’s my typical morning. Jaylen was in a really good mood and was playing contently so I came online and caught up with a few things. (I’m still not done converting the rest of the pages. About 50% of the site is still un-converted. Great!) Jaylen fell asleep around noonish and I picked stuff up off the floor and watched some TV, then when he woke up I got our lunch ready, cleaned up some more, made about 15 lego houses and robots that he continuously broke apart, then got him re-dressed (he’d totally naked-ed himself except for his diaper) since Tommy would be picking us up when Eenan got out of school to drop us off for his X-ray appointment. At 3:40, they got here and we left. Eenan fell asleep on the way over and when we got there he was extremely moody. He screamed his head off and said he didn’t want to go to the doctor again (the X-ray place was right next door to Dr. Z’s office) because they take forever. When I opened the door to pull him out, he threw himself out and RAN ACROSS THE PARKING LOT! I quickly thanked Tommy for dropping us off and dragged Jaylen along with me to grab Eenan. We were SO lucky a car or truck wasn’t coming. I don’t even want to THINK about what could have happened. I already lectured him about not crossing streets/parking lots without holding an adult’s hand and how something really awful could have happened today, just because he decided to throw a tantrum. He scared the crap out of me .

We weren’t at the appointment long. We were in and out in less than 20 minutes. The tech was really nice and was making the kids laugh. He even gave them stickers! They didn’t do that at the other place. When we got out, Mary was already waiting for us. She made a few stops, picked up Happy Meals for the boys and then we ate at home. I helped Eenan with his homework when he was done, gave him his medicines, set the crock-pot for Mario’s lunch tomorrow and took Jaylen with me to the store to get some milk and eggs. Eenan was playing Halo 2 since I promised him he could if he was good, and I gave him his nebulizer treatment while he played. I washed dishes, then told him to stop playing and that’s where the tantrum began. I already knew he’d throw a fit. He turns the game off, then tells me he wanted a new mom. Excuse me?? I don’t know what it was…being tired from running around all day, or just hearing my son say that to me, I don’t know…but I just started bawling and told him to go to his room. He starts crying saying, “I’m sorry, Mom!! I don’t want a new Mom! I want YOU! Oh no! You’re crying! Don’t cry Mom!!” Which made me bawl even more. I made myself stop crying and told him he hurt my feelings. He quickly appologized, ran to the bathroom to get me some toilet paper and wrapped himself around me and we just sobbed together for a little bit. I told him I loved him and he told me and we hugged and he went off to play. He came back a few minutes later and again told me he loved me and didn’t want a new mom. Poor thing. I must have scared him when he saw me crying. I know I overreacted, but I was just so exhausted, then hearing him say that, I broke down. I need to get over this! This…I don’t know what it is. This hormonalness? I cried again when Mario called and told me he didn’t have Friday off afterall. I cried over that. I bathed the boys and made Mario a quick dinner. He went to feed Rick’s animals because they’re on vacation for 3 weeks! The boys are about to brush their teeth, then I’ll read them a story and off to bed they go. Then, maybe, just maybe, I can rest.



Went to drop John off a while after I posted my entry on Sunday. Didn’t get to see Mom because she was already at work . Don’t remember what else we did but we left the boys with Mary and Big Mario in the evening because they were being absolute terrors and then went grocery shopping. Came home and watched The Green Mile, which we’d borrowed from Sonia. I’d never watched that movie. It was really good…extremely sad, and LONG.

At around 11pm Mario was going to leave to play Halo 2 at Jorge’s and I kind of lost it. I was so frustrated from being home with the kids–doing nothing but cleaning, worrying about Eenan being sick, and just bored from being alone. I knew when he started working again that I’d be spending a lot of time alone with just the kids, but it bugged me that even after he got out of work that he’d go off with the guys. Every night. I’m usually really “whatever” about when he goes “out”, because I know he works his ass off and he deserves time to himself to have fun, but I’d like some time with him too. I was also pissed because it was passed 11 and he made me stay up watching the movie with him, just to have him up and leave. I usually go to bed by 11 since I wake up early and take Eenan to school and I was dead tired. We got into a little argument, he left, and then came back a few minutes later. We didn’t talk about it, we just sat in silence and watched the movie, got ready for bed and went to bed. I appologized for the things I said, but I asked him to try and understand where I’m coming from. It’s gonna take some getting used to…getting used to him not being here and being insanely bored all the time…again .

The next day I got a call from a nurse at Eenan’s doctor’s office. They wanted us to go in because the Dr. wanted to see him. I told them they’d have to wait till he got out of school…he’d already missed too much. So when Eenan got home from school, Noey took us to the doctor’s office. I’d never seen so many people there and was quickly becoming annoyed from having to wait so long just to get the X-ray and urine test results. After 2 hours they finally let us in. The X-ray showed that Eenan has pnuemonia in his right lung . Dr. Z was really surprised that the sedimentation or something like that was at 85 first, and then after the 2nd blood test, it was at 91, when it should be from 0-15. That just shows there’s an infection in the body. She was even more surprised that he wasn’t getting fevers anymore with those high numbers. She told me to just keep giving him his Nebulizer treatments and giving him his medicine as we have been. He needs to get another chest X-ray done tomorrow, has an optometrist appointment on Thursday, then an appointment with Dr. Z on Friday. I already spoke to Ms. Ortiz about it, and she’s been really understanding about him missing half days. I asked if he had any make-up work to do but she said ‘Nah, he’s doing fine.’ Oh, I hope he gets better soon. He doesn’t look or act sick, but just knowing he is in the slightest drives me crazy. I can’t stand it when they’re sick. I’m praying his X-ray comes out clear, or that he’s at least getting better.

Mom called today and told me she got the day off from work because her eye is swollen. She borrowed a Clinique eye cream from Aunt Nora and she seems to have gotten an alergic reaction. She has a doctor’s appointment, but it’s not till Thursday. I hope it’s nothing serious. Aunt Nora said it looks like it may just be Pink Eye.

Going to cut this short. Thought I finally had a few minutes to myself but Jaylen’s crawling all over me trying to get on my lap because he’s sleepy. I just want 5 minutes to myself .