Category: Bitching

Adulting Sucks

I can usually deal with stress pretty well; heck, I’ll even be annoyingly optimistic. People have even complimented me about it. But lately, I’ve got to admit: it’s tough.

I managed to get my 2nd cold of the year (a month apart) last Sunday. I felt awful at work on Monday but had a lot to do, and I almost went to work Tuesday because I was afraid of getting behind, but I told myself I needed to start taking care of myself. I keep thinking of my friend that had a stroke that was probably due to high stress. So I decided that work could wait. I took Tuesday off to go to the doctor and recover at home. I hadn’t slept very much Monday night due to the coughing, ear pain and not being able to breathe, so I kept passing out once I picked up my medication from the pharmacy. I’m still not 100% better; I keep waking up with a pain in my ear, even though I’m over everything else. Missing Tuesday did cause me to get behind at work, but I knew if I scheduled my day accordingly, I could catch up.

I was in charge of an event for our “Boss Boss”, and I was already nervous about screwing it up. I wasn’t even sure how I was going to drop off 4 kids at 2 different locations in 2 different cities and get to work by 7:30am in a totally different city (those are my Fridays and Mondays). Mario, thankfully, helped me out. I’d be missing Alaethia’s field trip, just like I missed Emily’s 🙁 , since I had an event that day, too, but Mario would accompany her.

I had a good count for my Boss’s event, got everything ready and then…I’m about 20 people short the count that I originally had as everyone started showing up. Thanks, people >_< . My Boss did tell me, “Good job,” at the end of the event, so that made me feel better.

Lunch time rolls around and I’m giddy as I make my way to my car, relieved that the event is over and done with. I was meeting Alaethia, her class and the moms at Mr. Gatti’s for Alaethia’s last part of the field trip. I relieve Mario and he hands me Alaethia’s stuff as the girls continue to play and the moms catch up while we eat lunch together. (I’m convinced the girls like us to go with them so they can hit us up for money!) We spent a few minutes with the kids and see them off on the bus. I get back to work and jot down my to-do list in the hopes of getting as much done by 5pm so I wouldn’t be swamped on Monday and could take the next Tuesday off with the kids. Next week is Spring Break, but we aren’t doing much. Still, I wanted to at least take a few days off to take the kids out for ice cream and the park, etc. Unfortunately, I had forgotten it was Spring Break during the week and had already made 2 appointments for Monday that I can’t miss. And then we have the food festival coming up, and I feel like we’re SO BEHIND. FAK. 🙁 So I figured I’d take Tuesday off only. So I got to work, and was on a roll…until Jorge called with an emergency.

I couldn’t believe what happened and I’m thankful things weren’t much, much worse. But I just feel like we can’t catch a break 😥 . 1 step forward, 2 steps back. I was angry at Jorge. I was angry at myself, too, for not taking care of things I should have, but I’m just so focused on work and it takes up so much time that I can’t take care of personal things that need to get done. And it shouldn’t be that way.

The girls had a sleepover at Jenny’s and when I went to pick them up, we had a nice impromptu therapy session with all 4 of them. I’m glad that they can openly talk with us about what’s going on with their friends. Apparently lots of drama is going on, but we explained to them that they’re wayyy too young for so much tension at school and that everyone can get along, even if they’re not BFFs. Now I need to have an uncomfortable conversation with another mom, and apologize for my little Emmos 😳 .

Jorge and I had a talk last night, and I felt better. Until something ELSE happened today. Ugh. I’m going to try and have a nonchalant, happy-go-lucky, carefree, fk-it attitude this week. I’ve got a lot on my plate at work, and may not be able to take a day off at all with the kids (especially because of this event, and my boss is off since Wednesday when we have shit to take care of!), but I’m not going to stress. I’m not.

Well. That’s easier said than done, but I’ve got to promise myself to take it easy. Or I’m going to lose my shit.

4-Months Post-Op

It was my follow-up appointment today, 1 month after my first steroid injection, 4 months after my surgery.

I was nervous about what the doctor would say. Of course, the most dramatic thoughts: permanent nerve damage, we’ll have to have a follow-up surgery. Or the more logical one: I may need another steroid shot 😳 .

I told Michelle that I was going to pretend it didn’t hurt when assessed me and pressed on the nerves, but as soon as he did…I screamed and flinched. There was no way to hide it 🙁 .

So he walked out to get a syringe, then came back and prepped me. Since I knew what to expect I was even more nervous than the first time. He pressed into my skin near my under arm with his fingertips to find the “most painful” spot, but I was so jumpy and nervous that every spot seemed to hurt. I frantically grabbed around me until I reached the pillow to clutch. He pressed the needle in and I instantly wanted to scream. I was clutching onto the pillow so hard my hand was hurting when it was over. He massaged the area after 3 pricks (straight into the nerve, then the rib, then above the nerve). I still felt pain when he was assessing the area. So…he said I would need another shot, and I swear it took my breath away when the needle reached my rib. I almost thought he pierced my lung!

I’m shaking like a leaf due to the anesthesia and everything hurts. I feel terrible pain in my rib and just driving or turning when I’m driving gives me a shock of pain. He said this would hopefully be the last time it hurts this way. But we’ll see. It still feels numb on the right side of my right boob. Yet, I still feel the same pain in my nipple although when I was at the office it didn’t feel that way. I’m waiting to see if the pain subsides within 3 days, as he said it would the first time I ever got the shot.

[Edit June 12, 2016] – Well, I developed a large lump at the injection site on Friday. It’s painful to the touch and of course I bruised up. The seam of my very thin sports bras I’m still wearing were irritating the bruise and I felt soreness on my rib and my back! But, my nipple isn’t sore anymore and the pain on the right side of my boob has diminished a LOT, thank God! Now I just have to wait for the lump to flatten out. I hope it does 🙁 . I had *just* started running again, but decided to just go on a walk the evening of the steroid shot. Haven’t run or walked since, meh!

[edit Monday, June 20th @ 11:41pm]
Got home after work and picking up Jaylen and changed clothes. I took my sports bra off (still wearing them, the light ones with spaghetti straps) and realized I had lots of bites/red bumps right along my scar, closer to the cleavage. I figured it was a mosquito that got stuck in my shirt. Fast forward to 11pm, when I was getting ready for bed, and found that the original bites flattened and weren’t itchy and red, but now the other side of the vertical scar was! It itches like hell. Had to bust out the good old hydrocortisone and allergy pills!

About Friday

I usually get a sinus infection once every 2 years or so, and this week was it. I couldn’t even call in to work yesterday because we had our Unplugged event at the Food Park, it was cleaning day (so yay, jeans!) and I had a committee meeting for Food Festival. I also had Food Festival stuff to catch up on since I was absent a large chunk of Thursday. The event’s going really well, thank goodness!

I miraculously made it through the day. I definitely felt better than Thursday, but not 100%. I left the office for 30 minutes to pass the time before I had to be present for Unplugged. Went with EZ, Michelle, Rosie and Rick to SALT, after much convincing on Rosie and Michelle’s part. What can I say, I gave in to peer pressure 😆 . I’m on antibiotics and had taken Sudafed, and I knew better than to order a drink with alcohol, so I got a virgin cucumber Margarita instead.

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SALT - New American Table

Then it was time for Unplugged. The weather was looking scary; it became overcast and slightly windy in a matter of minutes. A couple of craft vendors even packed up and left! Then the clouds turned into puffy cottonballs and the weather cleared up.

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I went out to the Park to speak with our artist and then joined Jorge (my co-worker, not husband) at the bench our group would chill at for the rest of the night.

The music was great, the weather was pretty perfect and the food was delish!
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I went with Taqueria Los Brothers this time and their Nachos Locos and homemade lemonade was awesome. And on the house. They insisted I not pay! It was so well-served, my co-workers helped me eat them!

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Nachos Locos

Rick showed us a photo a friend had shared of huge hail balls in Laredo, where Jorge was working. I frantically start texting him to see if he’s gotten any hail, because it was 8:30 and he STILL hasn’t told me he was coming home. He said the storm had actually passed south of where he was, but that he’d most likely be driving through it.

While we were sitting at our picnic bench someone came up to me from behind, held my arms and kissed my head. I was motionless and in shock, wondering what stranger had planted one on me. I slowly looked up and there he was, finally, thank goodness! Everyone laughed, because 30 minutes before everyone chimed in to tease that he was weathering the storm with someone else, or at a club, or hotel, etc. Jerks! They’re lucky I like them!

I slept so much better, and through the night, knowing my love was beside me. And I woke up feeling mostly normal! Mostly. Still have those darn hives, just not as severe as yesterday.

Trying to work up some energy to shower and visit Gramma, get a litter box for Diana, who is going to take Kika. Long story, but my Kiki will now reside with her 😥 . I also have several other things to do online, like pay bills, but I’m stuck watching Catfish on MTV 😆 . And Mom wants me to start working on the kids’ baskets, which means she’s going to see that they’re not “full” and is going to want to go shopping. Meh.

Edit: Kika’s rehoming just got cancelled!