It Felt Like I’d Need a Wheelbarrow

Thurs., Mar. 5th – Mario didn’t officially apologize at all that morning. It was one of those mornings when the alarm went off, I turned it off and woke him up and went back to sleep before Emily or Alaethia woke up. He texted me at noon to ask how Emily’s belly button was doing—to break the ice, I suppose. I said it was fine and that I had already paid all the bills we’d planned on paying with the income tax refund. After a few exchanges about that he said he loved me and “I’m sorry”–3 times. My hormones were haywire again and I took a few deep breaths to keep from tearing up. I can’t be mad at that man for long these days.
Mary picked up some necessities for me, like pads. That’s what I hate about not being able to drive: I can’t go anywhere and do things for myself *sigh*.

Mario texted me after work that Jorge and Adan were coming over since Maggie left Jorge behind LOL. Our new modem came in and Adan installed it for us. The guys chilled out inside a while and then of course went outside to drink. If I remember correctly, Maggie came over later on to chill out for a bit and pick up Jorge.

Fri., Mar. 6th – I actually slept semi-well and felt much more alert than I had all week.

I spent most of the day with Emily and when I wasn’t with her I was pumping away in the bathroom while Mom watched the girls. I couldn’t stand the pain in my back from being so full of milk that day. It wasn’t as bad as the first days, when my back and chest felt like an elephant had stepped on me and I couldn’t breathe, but it was still really painful. I still couldn’t understand how I was so full if I was still only pumping out 1 ounce from each boob. I felt like I was carrying around a bra-full of bricks, literally. My right breast was especially lumpy and in pain.

I tried tidying up a bit and Mario called to tell me he was on his way and if I wanted him to pick anything up for dinner. The boys wanted Burger King, of course, but I wanted shrimp so I asked him to get me a shrimp plate from Starlight. I always want shrimp and complain that there’re only burger places here, but hello? Starlight’s been here for years! I just recently remembered. Still, we really have to stop doing that, ordering take-out! But it’s so hard to cook these days. Usually Emily only wants to be with me and its tough getting things done.

We planned on going to Jorge and Maggie’s, because we didn’t want to spend another boring Friday at home. So we ate quickly and went over there with Emily and Jaylen. Eenan never wants to go and Mom offered to watch Alaethia, and I was glad because I was afraid she’d act up like the last time.

We got there and said hello to Nani, Tony Sr., and Dinah was visiting from Austin. We sat with her inside a while and laughed at Jorge and Boys’ arguments. It was their boss’ wife’s birthday. They were having a get-together and we were invited. Mario really didn’t want to go, mainly because the last time they went to one of their bar-b-q’s Mario and Adan were politely kicked out (long story having nothing to do with them). I really didn’t want to go because my boobs felt awful. I’d never felt such pain in my breasts with any of the other babies. That, and I was not dressed for a party at all. I was in shorts, flip flops, and a peasant top that I was trying to hide my enormous boobs in. I had nothing nice to wear even if I could fully fit into my old clothes. Eventually, Jorge managed to convince us so we dropped off Jaylen with Mom since he’d fallen asleep about 10 seconds after we got to Jorge’s house. We only took Emily with us.

We had a pretty good time, even though I did feel awkward and underdressed at first. The food they were bar-b-q’ing was great and Emily was a doll and slept most of the time we were there. I even attended my first Adult Novelty party! I didn’t know what to expect, but it was actually really interesting. I didn’t feel uncomfortable at all, and we had a few laughs.

Mario watched Emily towards the end of the party when she woke up for a feeding and I took her with me afterward. The girls were all swooning over her. I didn’t have to carry her the remainder of the time we were there; she was being passed around!

We came home shortly after that. I was desperate for sleep but I had a lot to do, like ready Emily’s bottles, redress my incision, and pump myself because I felt like crap. I felt so awful I had to sleep with cold packs in my sports bra. If I didn’t know any better I’d say I developed Mastitis, except that I was already on antibiotics so I wasn’t getting the fevers. I didn’t know how much longer I could take it.