Category: Funny

I’m Bored…

I need to figure out where to put all that crap that’s on the weight bench. I need to use it and there’s absolutely no more closet space for all our darn clothes. Well, most of Mario’s darn clothes. I have less than 1/4 of the closet to myself (shouldn’t it be the other way around??).

Mario was supposed to be watching Supersize Me but ended up falling asleep 3 minutes into the movie. Jaylen’s playing with his toys and I’m here bored out of my mind. We have to pick Eenan up at 3 or so…maybe I should take a shower. It’s Jorge’s birthday tonight so we may go over. I *need* to get out of the house!

I was bored and checked out some videos Mario had downloaded. One was of Ashlee Simpson being booed at the Orange Bowl. How incredibly sad. Lip syncing on SNL is going to haunt that girl for the rest of her life. Supposedly all that (SNL, the Orange Bowl) are going to come out in the new season of her show. I’ll try to watch…if I can tolerate her whiny-ness. Searching for news on Ashlee lead me to something on Lindsay Lohan. I KNEW Lindsay Lohan was a crappy singer when I heard her single. Then I saw a clip of her lip syncing and it confirmed her crappiness. At first I thought the video/audio were out of sync, but no, there’s one part where she really, really missed a part. I guess she needed a back up track so she could concentrate on humping the mic stand . I dislike “singers” like her…who have to lip sync even for a tiny performance where they don’t even dance. People pay to see and hear your skanky ass, at least give them what they pay for. Now that, my dear Lindsay, is how “rumahs” get started . Click here to see the video. They enlarged it, but if you download it to your computer it doesn’t look so pixely.

Yeah, so you can tell I’m bored. Gonna take a quick shower.

(more…)

Got Some Action This Weekend

…No, not THAT kind, you pervs . Don’t remember much from Thursday, except grocery shopping . Friday, was the usual during the day–took Eenan & John to school, Mario left to work, I was here with Jaylen. When Mario got home from work, we left to Jorge’s. Eenan was sleeping over at Mary’s, but we had Jaylen with us so we hoped for the best. I was in the mood for a little “me” time, so I was praying he’d behave. I drove there. When we were a block away, Mario whines, “We’re never gonna get therrrre!” I actually drive the speed limit, unlike him .

We chilled out and talked most of the night. Maggie made the best margaritas I have ever tasted in my life. She put a buttload of Tequila (is that what it is?) in there and you couldn’t even taste it. I hate tasting all the alcohol in drinks . John was with us and had 5 margaritas. He actually enjoyed himself, and I’m glad. It was a night of ragging on eachother–especially husbands against wives LOL. John got a bit of crap from Mario.

The next day, I woke up early and went with Mary, Noelia, and Sonia to watch White Noise. We met Yadira, Tommy and the girls there. The movie wasn’t as scary as I thought it would be, but I liked it anyway. Wasn’t as much of a disappointment as The Grudge, though. I especially liked it because I’ve always believed in that type of stuff, and for a while even considered recording here at home. When I saw the end though, I was kinda like, “Umm, maybe it’s not such a good idea.” LOL.

I would have had a much better time had this dumb woman with spider legs and her gorilla of a boyfriend not been kicking my seat the beginning half of the movie. I asked her twice to quit it and she looked straight ahead as if she didn’t hear/see me. I know she did since you can clearly see the people who are sitting beneath you. I felt her feet tucked up under my seat once, and moved myself foward and then back hard and I squashed her toes . I heard her heels scrape against the floor, frantically trying to get them out. That’s what she gets . When I finally had it, I yelled out, “Excuse me, CAN YOU STOP KICKING MY SEAT, PLEASE?!?” She finally acknowledged me and said, “I ain’t kickin’ yo seat!” I look at her gorilla boyfriend and say, “Well, ONE of you is kicking my seat. Quit it.” They weren’t kicking my seat, yet, after I yelled at them my seat was left alone. Idiots. Sonia later told me the man was the one doing most of the kicking, probably just to be an ass and didn’t expect me to say anything.

We went to Wal-Mart where Mary was getting groceries and I was buying all the house supplies and junk. Kitchen gadgets make me go crazy. I finally bought a little timer (and it helped me not procrastinate as much today!). The boys fear that thing. Everytime I ask them to clean up, or do something and they refuse, I whip the timer out and they get to work. I don’t know what it is, but it works!

We got home, got the boys ready and then took them to the dollar movies to watch Shark Tale again. They’ve been wanting to go to the movies but they’re not showing anything for kids at Tinseltown. They liked it. Jaylen actually stayed awake this time. I kind of liked it a bit more the 2nd time around, too. We picked up Burger King after the movie and went home. Mario was already here and he’d picked up Pizza Hut…darnit LOL.

I woke up at 5am the next morning because I heard one of the kids’ posessed toys laughing. It creeped me out. I had my comforter pulled up to my nose and started thinking of all these weird and terrifying things. Mostly about ghosts and EVP and how they could be flying over me and watching me that very moment. Stupid movie LOL.

I woke up at 7:30 and got ready to go to the big Flea Market/Garage Sale. Mary and I were going. We went super early, so people were still setting up. I didn’t find much for myself. I got the kids 5 books: “Slug”, “Brain Cell”, “Spider”, “Curious George Goes Camping”, and “My Little Dinosaur” for $.50 a piece. I also found a Wuzzles book: “Win One For Bumblelion” for Mario and my Wuzzles collection. The books are all brand-new! I also got Pokemon: The First Movie for the kids, which I’m wondering why I got it now since they have it on VCD . I found a Teddy Ruxpin VHS tape: The Treasure of Grundo, which I got for a $1 and when I got home, noticed it’s broken. I haven’t tried it out, but darnit, it better work. I got a Care Bears stoneware mug with Love-a-lot on it for $1. A Huckleberry Pie pillow doll, a big Pound Puppy (I had when I was little!), a Yum Yums bunny (that still has a bit of scent left!), and a complete roll of Strawberry Shortcake ribbon–which I thought was really cool. I don’t think many people have that in their collections . I also got Mary two teeny little bottles for her collection. She wants to go back and get more next time

Yeah, I forgot to take a picture of a few things .

We went to H-E-B to pick up a few things then went home. We got here and I ate, ironed, and started on some enchiladas. I had it set in my head I had enough time to get Mario’s stuff together and he had a bit of time to sleep more. He wakes up at 11:09am and says, “Look at the time! What time do I go into work?!” I say, “12” and it snaps. I was supposed to wake him up at 10:20, not 11:20. I’m a dumbass. I appologized and helped him get his stuff together. Poor thing was rushing around. I was so afraid he was going to keep throwing it in my face, which would cause me to start a fight but no, he was fine and didn’t blame me.

Big Mario got home a few hours later and asked if we’d like to go to Ricky’s ranch to ride the 4×4’s. I love riding that thing and so do the boys so we got ready and left. Big Mario took the boys for a spin and Mary and I chatted with Ricky. When Big Mario got back he asked if I wanted to take the boys for a ride and I said sure. Ricky tells me to go around the trail they made, so I did. Or so, I thought I did. I only took Jaylen with me, because Eenan was tired. I went around a little loop and then came to a fork in the road. I thought, “Oh crap”, because I couldn’t remember which way I came from and just went with the left one. Big mistake. I ended up going through 3 different ranches until all I could see was grassy plain all around me. I was freaking out. Jaylen overheard me say, “Oh, God”, and asked, “Are we lost?” I tell him, “No, Baby, we’re fine.” I think he heard the nervousness in my voice because he yells, “I want Bimpa!” I re-traced my steps and went back. After what seemed like forever, I finally saw the windmill Jaylen had pointed out when we went around the loop. I drove to it and lo-and-behold I see Mary at the end of the trail. I was so relieved LOL. Big Mario had gone out to look for me with Eenan so it took him a while to come back too. Quite an adventure. The day was lovely–warm and breezy. We spent the next hour and a half riding the 4×4’s…only this time, I either followed behind someone, rode behind Mary with the kids, or stayed on the ACTUAL trail Ricky was talking about. I’d gone in a completely different direction . Something that could have been brought to my attention when they saw me go down the trail-of-no-return! But all-in-all, it was fun .

When Mario got home from work that day we went to watch Blade Trinity. It was good, I liked it. I thought it was going to suck, but I liked all the other Blade movies so this one was cool too. I hissed at yet another moron for kicking Mario’s seat a few times during this movie too . It wasn’t enough that he was hacking out chunks of lung, he had to kick Mario’s seat too.

We went to Wal-Mart after that where Mario bought a curl-bar for his weight bench. He wants to start working out again, which I’m thrilled about because it’ll hopefully encourage me to use the weight-bench too. I’ve still yet to start working out, but I spent THE WHOLE DAY cleaning so I’m happy I’m at least working on not procrastinating. I didn’t even get online at all today, except for right now of course. I hope I get everything I need to get done tomorrow because I have a few Qbee things to attend to. As for the eating-well bit of my resolutions–I’m not stuffing my face as much as I had been between meals by eating a lot of junk, though I did have a teensy bit of ice cream…twice . But I’m working on it!

After Wal-Mart, we dropped John off at home. I hope he does okay. We’ll probably be seeing him this weekend again. His ex called him right when she was boarding the plane and yelled out that she loved him and this was the stupidest thing she’s ever done. Uh, duh? She said she was hoping to come back during Spring Break. He kind of wants to wait for her. I told John he better be shitting me. I gave him my opinion on everything of course, but I don’t want to say too much because I don’t want to offend him. I asked him, as gently as possible, if he really thought she’d wait for him till then. I mean, look at what she did when she first moved away; she cheated on him. What’ll stop her now? I just really think she should leave it at this and leave him alone–she’s hurt him enough. All he needs is to be completely over her, in a new relationship and then have her appear in his life again. But, he’s a big kid and can think for himself. I just hope he makes good decisions. Anyway, I only got to see Mom for a few minutes. I really miss her . I miss Gramma terribly too. I haven’t seen her in two weeks! I need to start driving over there and soon.

God, I hope Jaylen’s finally asleep. I’m so tired and Mario still wants to…uh, rendevous . Wow…the people on the new “Surreal Life” are CRAZY.

(more…)

Driving Miss Yaya

I’ve actually been driving–and not just around the neighborhood! On Monday, I drove all the way to Peñitas by myself in the morning. Then at night, Mary sent me to order from McDonald’s. I took John with me. It was hilarious.The boy seriously thought I was going to get us killed. Halfway there I tell him out of the blue, “I have heartburn”, and responds with, “I have diarreah” . I can’t be that bad of a driver!

We were laughing the whole time, mostly because he was being ridiculous. If I had gotten into an accident, it would have been his fault for making me laugh. But we got there and back home safely. Later he tells me, “I need to drive. If YOU can drive, then I can definetly drive.” I felt just a bit offended .

Today, I went to drop Eenan off at school (first day back!). Then dropped John off (he was actually not as tense with me driving this time), and then went to Peñitas again. I made a huge mistake, which could have gotten me (and little Jaylen) into an accident, but the damn light never turned GREEN! So, I need to be more careful and study my driving book a little more . But other than that, I did very well. Now…let’s see when I can drive to Mission on my own .

As for John, he’s pretty upset. He found out yesterday his good-for-nothing girlfriend was indeed cheating on him. Something I already knew just by her personality and the way she spoke to me, and something John could sense deep in his heart. He wasted a whole year on her. Can you believe she’s leaving to another state (again) because the guy she cheated with is coming down here to see her and she’s afraid she’ll fall in love with him again? What kind of shit is that? What about John?! She needs to stop being a coward and deal with the problems she’s caused for herself. All John can say is he wants her to be happy. He felt bad because she felt bad and she was crying her eyes out. I say that’s bullshit. Good for her. I hope she feels like shit for a long damn time for doing this to him. I’m so disappointed. I actually liked the little hooch. It’s a damn shame.

It’s all her fault I couldn’t get a decent night’s sleep. I was so afraid John would do something stupid (because he’s depressed and has already been suicidal at one point). I slept with the door to the bedroom open so I could hear what he was doing. Everytime I’d hear the bathroom door open I’d wake up again. I almost felt like putting all the pills that were in the medicine cabinet in my room, but I didn’t want to make it obvious I was paranoid. I hope he can find happiness, with someone else, soon. She’s definetly not worth it.

Argh, anyway. Mario’s finally awake. He actually has today off . Gonna go get some tools from work that he needs and then we’re going to the groceries. Fun!

(more…)