Dad’s 3 Year Anniversary

I’ve been a bit anxiety-stricken lately and I wasn’t really sure what was going on.  It was to the point that normal things, like Jorge leaving to work, or dropping off the boys with Mario, or dropping the girls off at school made me feel even more sad than usual, fightened and nervous that something bad would happen to them. I couldn’t shake it–and then it dawned on me yesterday that it was the 3-year anniversary of Dad’s passing. It happened last year as well. It was kind of a shock that it’s been so long, but at the same time feels like it wasn’t so long ago. And I know it sounds kind of silly but when social media blew up that Juan Gabriel had died it made my sadness worsen because his song “Querida” really reminds me of Dad 🙁 .

I clearly remember hearing that song while Dad sat outside with some friends playing cards, drinking beer and I spun around and around in the bedroom, which was right next to the side yard where they would sit and chat.

Dad’s last fish that he gave me with the 10 fish that I inherited from him died recently so that was pretty sad, too.

I do still think about him a lot. I still wish that we could have had that last barbecue but that never got to happen. Still wish I could call him up and see how he’s doing. It’s just really strange and I just feel really bad that we didn’t get to be closer towards the last few years of his life. 

I recently saw his ex-mistress on my people you should know on Facebook, which annoyed and angered me simultaneously. I’m glad she and everyone else stopped bothering me after she dared asked me to help her a week after dad died. Ugh. The nerve. Anyway. Needed to get that out. 

<small>I really need to start writing again; it was the best therapy for me before.</small>