Thursday, October 7, 2004
Just finished eating a hot ham and cheese sandwich, Salsa Verde Doritos & Tostitos cheese, and an Apple Fanta soda…that’ll hit the spot :). Went grocery shopping for the rest of the stuff we needed this morning and actually got some munchies (a.k.a. junk food)…I’m sure I’ll regret this at the end of the week when I’ve gained 10 lbs.
I really need to do something to make some money. My little Thrift Shop sure isn’t bringing much in and the shop I was going to start with my homemade bags and things isn’t taking off anytime soon because you need money to make money and well, I ain’t got no money. I don’t even know if anyone would buy anything and it would all be in vain. Mario’s supposed to get the job with Jorge by the end of this month or the beginning of November. I hope it happens. This past month has been hell. It sucks having to rely on our family for financial help. It sucks not being able to go out and rent movies, go out to a movie, buy the kids things they want like we used to, or buy things for ourselves like we used to. We’re so lucky we have Mario’s family helping us or else we’d be homeless somewhere, no kidding. Our cars aren’t working…the Sentra took a shit again and that’s because Mario had just replaced some parts. Now it has some oil leak. The Prelude is still dead. $3,500 on that car for nothing. We’ve had problems with it since after a week that Mario bought it. Mario and I were talking this morning…and I hate to say this and I don’t want to lose faith, but it almost feels as if God’s picking on us. Like he’s overlooked us or something. I don’t like comparing myself to other people…but look at Jorge and Maggie. Jorge didn’t even go to college, and here he is, assistant manager with a brand-new house and a nice truck. TWO nice trucks. Mario went to school, he busted his ass working at the hospital all those years and what? This is what we get? I just want to go out and get a job but I’ll be damned if I’m going to leave Jaylen at some daycare around here. He’s too little to go to Head Start and I’ve heard horror stories about that place, too. I’d ask Mom to watch him…and go through that program where they’d pay her for it but you already have to have a job or be going to school and well, I don’t. I’m not even sure how much she’d be making. I’d go out and look for a job right now if it was guaranteed that I’d get one and that they’d pay Mom more through CCMS (that program) than at her current job. She barely made $249 this month and that’s because they paid her her “vacation” money. They paid her a measly $2 an hour for her “paid vacation”…which is total bull because that’s not what she makes. She barely has enough to pay the bills this month and is highly considering taking up Aunt Nora’s offer and moving in with her. It sucks. I wish they wouldn’t have to have financial problems either. I’d hate for John to have to move over there. Mom too. Then, Mario hates driving me around as it is–how would I see them? I mean, I can drive, but I’m still not experienced enough to drive to Boonieville where Aunt Nora lives. I can’t believe, back in ’01 when I had just started working for Old Navy, I went with Mom to her audiologist (she has a hearing disability) and the Dr. offered me a job because he liked my phone etiquette. He had already started giving me a tour of the practice, and of the office I’d be working at and my station and everything. He described what my job would be. He handed me an application and asked me to start ASAP. And I had to turn it down because I’d just gotten the job at Old Navy and the hours Mario and I were working weren’t convenient for that job. I cringe just thinking about it. Why can’t I get a break like that now?! Now that I NEED it!?! WHEN will we get our break?!?!?!
on Sunday, October 10th, Rachel said:
Hey Yaya, God isn’t picking on you, but He does use bad things that happen (’cause the world isn’t always a good place) to make us better people!
on Sunday, October 10th, Rejeana said:
hey yaya, Thank god mario’s FINALLY gonna get that job with jorge. Don’t look at maggie and jorge and compare yourself anymore. The situation is completely different. Y’know, you started off on a rocky road when you got married at the age that you did and you guys did AWESOME. you all have SO much stuff and your boys are always happy. you have a roof over your head and a family to help out. BTW, why isn’t mary gonna house your mom in the apt anymore? I mean, i know she probably needs the money but..doesn’t family come first? Anyways, like i was saying..don’t compare yourself to jorge and maggie, jorge probably had more help then he’d care to admit. you know men and their pride :confused: Sure, he has a great job, but to afford a HOUSE?! and TWO brand new trucks?! i’m sorry dude, but he’s DEFINETLY getting some help or doing something on the side. Its not healthy to compare yourself to people that have things better then you. Compare yourself with someone that has been in your SAME situation. Do most of them have all the stuff you and mario have? monica and john sure don’t. You and monica have gone through the exact same thing. Its hard..but keep your chin up girl 😉
on Friday, October 8th, Diana said:
I hope you do get that big break sometime soon. And I don’t think God’s picking on you, as you said you have the help of your family, so it could always be worse. I know it’s hard not to compare yourselves to others though.
Good luck 😀
on Friday, October 8th, firstname.lastname@example.org“>Stephanie said:
Mm, that sounded good, now I’m hungry 😛
Aww Yajaira, I hope things turn around soon.. I know how it feels to have no $. Sometimes my friends plan things & I have to say I’m studing or working because I can’t keep up with them financially. I hope it works out that your mom can look after Jaylen, because that’s always better than a day care.
on Friday, October 8th, Vic said:
Why aren’t you selling your shit on ebay girl? Gather up lots of the boys clothes that still look ok and are too small and sell that too. And your clothes. I get about $12-20 for the stuff I sell. You gotta pay for the ad and shipping but if you include that into your handling fee it’s a nice little profit. Little is the key word. Good luck mama.
on Friday, October 8th, Laurie said:
aww honey, I’ve been coming to ur site for awhile now and I’ve always been a lurker, but I know exactly how you feel. It sux huh? But, you’ve got a beautiful family and 2 lil gorgeous reasons to keep that pretty lil smile on ur face!
so keep smiling for ur boys! 🙂
on Thursday, October 7th, Johanna said:
aww! I really hope things get better for you soon. I Know what you mean about feeling picked on by God. There have been times when everything is so bad and I don’t even feel like doing anything or going to school, but suddenly things get better. Things will eventually be alright. No matter how bad things get. Take care!!!!