Ball of Emotions

Thank you to all who’ve prayed/wished Eenan a quick recovery . It really, truly means a lot.

Thank you to those who voted for my Trick-or-treat patches at the Qbee. My creepy bear one was a Bee’s Favorite and my slime-filled cauldron with eyeballs and candy corn got a ‘Best Treat’ prize. Also, many thanks to those who voted for my Member Patch Revamp patches…one of them got a prize for getting 10-13 votes. So, thank you everyone!!

I’ve been an emotional mess today. I was okay in the morning. Got up, got Eenan ready, got myself and Jaylen ready and I took him to school. Came back home, made breakfast for Jaylen and I, stuck Mario’s shirt in to wash then dry, woke Mario up and made him breakfast, packed his lunch, ironed his shirt and we hugged/kissed goodbye and he left for work. That’s my typical morning. Jaylen was in a really good mood and was playing contently so I came online and caught up with a few things. (I’m still not done converting the rest of the pages. About 50% of the site is still un-converted. Great!) Jaylen fell asleep around noonish and I picked stuff up off the floor and watched some TV, then when he woke up I got our lunch ready, cleaned up some more, made about 15 lego houses and robots that he continuously broke apart, then got him re-dressed (he’d totally naked-ed himself except for his diaper) since Tommy would be picking us up when Eenan got out of school to drop us off for his X-ray appointment. At 3:40, they got here and we left. Eenan fell asleep on the way over and when we got there he was extremely moody. He screamed his head off and said he didn’t want to go to the doctor again (the X-ray place was right next door to Dr. Z’s office) because they take forever. When I opened the door to pull him out, he threw himself out and RAN ACROSS THE PARKING LOT! I quickly thanked Tommy for dropping us off and dragged Jaylen along with me to grab Eenan. We were SO lucky a car or truck wasn’t coming. I don’t even want to THINK about what could have happened. I already lectured him about not crossing streets/parking lots without holding an adult’s hand and how something really awful could have happened today, just because he decided to throw a tantrum. He scared the crap out of me .

We weren’t at the appointment long. We were in and out in less than 20 minutes. The tech was really nice and was making the kids laugh. He even gave them stickers! They didn’t do that at the other place. When we got out, Mary was already waiting for us. She made a few stops, picked up Happy Meals for the boys and then we ate at home. I helped Eenan with his homework when he was done, gave him his medicines, set the crock-pot for Mario’s lunch tomorrow and took Jaylen with me to the store to get some milk and eggs. Eenan was playing Halo 2 since I promised him he could if he was good, and I gave him his nebulizer treatment while he played. I washed dishes, then told him to stop playing and that’s where the tantrum began. I already knew he’d throw a fit. He turns the game off, then tells me he wanted a new mom. Excuse me?? I don’t know what it was…being tired from running around all day, or just hearing my son say that to me, I don’t know…but I just started bawling and told him to go to his room. He starts crying saying, “I’m sorry, Mom!! I don’t want a new Mom! I want YOU! Oh no! You’re crying! Don’t cry Mom!!” Which made me bawl even more. I made myself stop crying and told him he hurt my feelings. He quickly appologized, ran to the bathroom to get me some toilet paper and wrapped himself around me and we just sobbed together for a little bit. I told him I loved him and he told me and we hugged and he went off to play. He came back a few minutes later and again told me he loved me and didn’t want a new mom. Poor thing. I must have scared him when he saw me crying. I know I overreacted, but I was just so exhausted, then hearing him say that, I broke down. I need to get over this! This…I don’t know what it is. This hormonalness? I cried again when Mario called and told me he didn’t have Friday off afterall. I cried over that. I bathed the boys and made Mario a quick dinner. He went to feed Rick’s animals because they’re on vacation for 3 weeks! The boys are about to brush their teeth, then I’ll read them a story and off to bed they go. Then, maybe, just maybe, I can rest.

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Overwhelmed

Went to drop John off a while after I posted my entry on Sunday. Didn’t get to see Mom because she was already at work . Don’t remember what else we did but we left the boys with Mary and Big Mario in the evening because they were being absolute terrors and then went grocery shopping. Came home and watched The Green Mile, which we’d borrowed from Sonia. I’d never watched that movie. It was really good…extremely sad, and LONG.

At around 11pm Mario was going to leave to play Halo 2 at Jorge’s and I kind of lost it. I was so frustrated from being home with the kids–doing nothing but cleaning, worrying about Eenan being sick, and just bored from being alone. I knew when he started working again that I’d be spending a lot of time alone with just the kids, but it bugged me that even after he got out of work that he’d go off with the guys. Every night. I’m usually really “whatever” about when he goes “out”, because I know he works his ass off and he deserves time to himself to have fun, but I’d like some time with him too. I was also pissed because it was passed 11 and he made me stay up watching the movie with him, just to have him up and leave. I usually go to bed by 11 since I wake up early and take Eenan to school and I was dead tired. We got into a little argument, he left, and then came back a few minutes later. We didn’t talk about it, we just sat in silence and watched the movie, got ready for bed and went to bed. I appologized for the things I said, but I asked him to try and understand where I’m coming from. It’s gonna take some getting used to…getting used to him not being here and being insanely bored all the time…again .

The next day I got a call from a nurse at Eenan’s doctor’s office. They wanted us to go in because the Dr. wanted to see him. I told them they’d have to wait till he got out of school…he’d already missed too much. So when Eenan got home from school, Noey took us to the doctor’s office. I’d never seen so many people there and was quickly becoming annoyed from having to wait so long just to get the X-ray and urine test results. After 2 hours they finally let us in. The X-ray showed that Eenan has pnuemonia in his right lung . Dr. Z was really surprised that the sedimentation or something like that was at 85 first, and then after the 2nd blood test, it was at 91, when it should be from 0-15. That just shows there’s an infection in the body. She was even more surprised that he wasn’t getting fevers anymore with those high numbers. She told me to just keep giving him his Nebulizer treatments and giving him his medicine as we have been. He needs to get another chest X-ray done tomorrow, has an optometrist appointment on Thursday, then an appointment with Dr. Z on Friday. I already spoke to Ms. Ortiz about it, and she’s been really understanding about him missing half days. I asked if he had any make-up work to do but she said ‘Nah, he’s doing fine.’ Oh, I hope he gets better soon. He doesn’t look or act sick, but just knowing he is in the slightest drives me crazy. I can’t stand it when they’re sick. I’m praying his X-ray comes out clear, or that he’s at least getting better.

Mom called today and told me she got the day off from work because her eye is swollen. She borrowed a Clinique eye cream from Aunt Nora and she seems to have gotten an alergic reaction. She has a doctor’s appointment, but it’s not till Thursday. I hope it’s nothing serious. Aunt Nora said it looks like it may just be Pink Eye.

Going to cut this short. Thought I finally had a few minutes to myself but Jaylen’s crawling all over me trying to get on my lap because he’s sleepy. I just want 5 minutes to myself .

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Eenan Update & Mario’s Birthday

Eenan stayed home from school on Wednesday because he still had a slight fever. When Mary got home from work that day we took Eenan to the doctor. Dr. Z. gave him a thorough check-up and was worried because he’d had the fever for so long so she requested a lab. He hated getting blood drawn . She also gave us orders to get a chest x-ray done since he was complaining about chest pain and becase he has a history of bronchial problems. She gave him new (very bad tasting) medicines, and Albuterol for his nebulizer. We stopped by H-E-B after we left the doctor’s and I got some Nyquil for me and a thermometer since ours was nowhere to be found. Thursday, Eenan went to school half the day, then Noey and I picked him up during lunch and took him for his x-ray. We still haven’t gotten the results–maybe Monday.

Mario was off Friday, his birthday . We went to pick up his check at work, cashed it, went to Home Depot to get some tools Mario needed for work, ate at Taco Bell because Jaylen and I were starving, then we picked Eenan up from school. We took him to the doctor and when we see her she says, and dammit I can’t remember the word…that something in his blood that’s supposed to be from 0-15 was at 85, which meant that there was inflammation somewhere in his body, which was an infection. She asked that labs be done again because there wasn’t enough blood for it the first time. So there’s Eenan, screaming his little head off. Took all of us to hold him down. She also told us his referral for seeing the optometrist was in the mail. My lil guy may need to wear glasses!

They needed a urine sample, and since he’d just peed when we got to the office he couldn’t pee again, so they gave us the stuff to take home and have him pee there and take the specimen to the hospital within one hour. Mary had picked Mom up from work and stopped at the doctor’s office to pick up the kids since we still had a few more places to go and they were tired. We went to Petland to get some rat food, a new water bottle for Pecan (since he’s too little for the one that came with his cage), and a “house” or something for the rats. We only found the water bottle and spent the rest of the time playing with the bunnies and ferrets. I fell in love with a Pomeranian and a Maltese puppy. They were too darn cute. I want a Pomeranian SO bad , but Mario doesn’t like “little, yappy, hairy dogs”. Grr.

We went to Pet Smart afterwards and got the rest of the stuff we needed, plus some treats for the rodents . After that we stopped at H-E-B for a cheesecake. I was supposed to make one from scratch, but it needs about 3 hours to cool and there was no way we’d have time. It was already 6pm, and everyone was meeting at Mary’s for Mario’s birthday at 7. After we got the cheesecake, we stopped by the beauty salon to get Mario’s haircut. Then, we finally went home. I helped Mary with a few things, then everyone started showing up. John was spending the weekend with us so he walked to our house afterschool. While everyone was eating, I get a call from Dr. Z. She said Eenan’s lab results came in and that his white blood cell count was at 19,000! She said to keep a log of his temperatures and not to forget to give him his medicines and nebulizer treatments. She also called in a stronger antibiotic, and asked me to check ‘urine culture’ on the sheet she gave me to turn in with his specimen. I was so worried when I hung up with her that I started to feel sick to my stomach. I just wanted Eenan to be better already. I barely ate anything and then got to giving Eenan his medicines, which I have to mix with a LOT of chocolate or strawberry milk to hide the horrible tastes. I tasted the cough medicine and it literally numbed my tongue! The antibiotic was just as horrendous and to top it off was grainy, which he hated. I took his temp., which was at 98.5 and then Mario and I got ready to go to Fast Eddie’s Billiards. We’d be meeting Jorge, Maggie and Noelia there. I kept telling myself Eenan would be fine and forced myself to have a good time. By the end of the night, I did. I totally suck at playing pool, but it was fun anyway. Mario had a good time, and I was so happy about that. We came home and John was already asleep. Noey brought Jaylen over (he was asleep too) and Eenan slept over at Mary’s. Mario and I fed all our animals and then went to bed. I’d never fallen asleep so fast.

I made breakfast for Mario the next day and of course, helped him get ready because he never knows where anything is. Then I got ready and Mary got my boys ready and we were off. It was John and his girlfriend’s 1 year anniversary, so they were going to go out for a movie. We were going to watch The Incredibles, which was really good. Really long, but really good. It was funny . John and his girlfriend watched Ray, so he was out 40 minutes before we were. We stopped to see Gramma for a little bit since I hadn’t seen her in almost 2 weeks (due to the garage sale last week). She’s doing good. She doesn’t like that her stuff is still in storage and that she’s not in the room she was in before, but she’s doing well. She’s not one to complain at all. I gathered my boys, waited out in the cold for a little bit since everyone’d gone to get gas at the gas station across the street, then we went to eat at Pizza Hut. Crappiest service ever. They never got anything right. I took the chance to get Eenan’s urine sample there LOL. So I got it, wrote the info on the container and put it away. Then we went to drop it off at the hospital which took forever. Then we went to H-E-B since I, Yadira and Sonia needed to pick up prescriptions. I bought some diapers and paper plates, then gave Eenan his medicine in the van. He took it with no problem since this one tasted much better. Like strawberries even, and it’s only once a day, which he’s happy about. Then we finally came home. Spent some time with Mario on the couch, where I ended up falling asleep for a while LOL. Eenan slept over at Mary’s again, Mario went over to Jorge’s to play Halo 2, and then I was just here with Jaylen and John. I was bored out of my mind after he went outside to talk on the phone with his girlfriend, so I fed my animals and went to bed. I slept so good last night. My nose wasn’t running and I wasn’t drooling on my pillow for once. I can’t wait to be completely over this damn cold!

Don’t know what we’re doing today. I need to buy a broom. I think that’s what I’m gonna do after I finish my leftover pizza and apple Fanta.

[edit 11-15-04] Holy crap! Was looking through Ebay and found this! I HAVE this doll…I had no idea she’d go for THAT MUCH in the UK![/edit]

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