Category: Memories

Aw Crap!

Well, I spoke too soon. The child peed not once, but twice, during the night. And he didn’t even wake up . The only reason I woke up was because my wrist was hurting me and I needed to pee.

I think he’s on strike. I think his whole body’s on strike, actually. He still hasn’t pooped, and I’m worried. I think he needed to go this morning because he refused to put his undies back on and screamed for a diaper. I even sat on the toilet while he was sitting on his potty chair to encourage him to poop. I even made grunting noises (no, I wasn’t really pooping!) just in case that would help him push, or something. He peed so much during the night — I think — that both times he’s tried to go pee, nothing comes out. He just says, “My pee-pee’s gone!” .

He’s also got this annoying cough that comes and goes. He coughed so much this morning that he ended up puking. Poor guy. I started him on cough medicine again. If it keeps up, back to the doctor we go.

I don’t know HOW I’m going to do it next month. The kids have their appointment at the dentist and I probably won’t have a car since it’s at 9am, and Mario leaves by 9:20 for work. Gotta start figuring SOMETHING out.

Speaking of next month, I can’t believe Valentine’s Day is almost here. It’s on a Monday, and Mario is working of course, so we’re probably not even going to “properly” celebrate. On March 27th, we celebrate our 6 year wedding anniversary. He’s already asking for that day off, and is even promising to work an extra Sunday (he gets two on, two off) if he gets it. I hope they have a heart and let him get it. We’re already planning on where to go have dinner. I hope it happens. I’d like to make it super special, but I have no idea what to do. We were watching Committed again last night, since Mario hadn’t watched the most recent episode, where it’s Marni’s birthday and Nate has this dinner for her on the roof. I tell him — half-jokingly — that I wish someone would do that for me, and bat my eyes at him. He replies with, “Well, good luck”, and smiled sarcastically. I know he was joking, but argh. I remember when he would go all out on our anniversaries or special days, and even if it was nothing fancy, he would do something nice. I remember once, before we were married, he laid out a blanket in front of the big fireplace his dad bar-be-cues on outside, lit the fireplace and bought these floating candles and put them in water-filled glass bowls. We snacked on stuff and just cuddled and had a good time. I miss that *pouts*. When we talk about it he tells me he was just doing it to get in my panties . Bastard . It worked…obviously . But I know, I know…he’s so busy with work and we barely even have time to talk and see eachother. I’ll figure something out .

Gonna get lunch ready. Spaghetti O’s it is!

*edit 1:09pm* Jaylen asked for a “snack”, which usually means some sort of sweet, and since I’m out of those littler Gerber gummies I gave him a Honeybun (not the best choice, I know!). The in-laws have him addicted to those things, dammit, and he usually finishes all of it. I’ve been lecturing him about how too many sweets are bad, and “your teeth are going to fall out of your face”, etc., so today he brings back more than half of the Honeybun and says, “I can’t eat it all…I’ll die.” I’ve got the poor boy tramatized….*/edit*

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Just Thinking…

I’m going to regret this tomorrow morning…staying up this late. Like I have every other night this week. I’m really tired, but I don’t feel sleepy. Blah, anyway.

Tomorrow’s going to suck I think. We didn’t get to buy the kids fireworks this year, Mario’s probably going to get out of work late (as always–but it’s not his fault ), Mom probably won’t get to come over, hopefully Mario won’t forget to pick John up…yeah, it’ll be boring. At least last year Mom was here and we popped fireworks with the kids and drank Bailey’s Milkshakes with Mary. I don’t even think we have ice cream!

I was bored as heck today without John here (yes douchebag, even though you get on my nerves at times, I enjoy your company…now, never speak of this again…). He went with Mom to the Social Security office. I hope, hope, hope she qualifies for SSI, or whatever it’s called. Disability? I mean, if they can help Alicia (that old bat Dad had been with) and they can help Tia Zoila, who have absolutely nothing wrong with them but the lazy gene, then they can help Mother. I’m just praying they will. She shouldn’t be working anymore. That’s the reason her diabetes is always on the fritz…they don’t give her a break since she only works 5-6 hours! Diabetics need to eat all three, or 5 small, meals a day!

So, since I was bored I decided to mess around with Google and search for stuff. It occured to me to search for ‘Rio Grande Valley’ and ‘McAllen’. It surprises me that out of all the people that live around here, I’ve only met two (very lovely) ladies from the Valley. Where is everyone? There’s got to be other bloggers out there. It’s just weird to me since the Valley’s so big. Maybe there are, and they’re just not in search engines?

All that got me thinking about my old friends *sigh*. What I’d give to have a little reunion. I have no idea what’s going on in Vero’s, Sally’s, Jessica’s, Angie’s, Dayse’s or anyone else’s lives. The last I heard was from Angie last March…only because I ran into her at Wal-Mart and she invited me to her wedding, which was a week later. I cracked a smile after hearing her say that because it broke my heart I wasn’t even properly invited. I’d known that girl since 1st grade . I’ve–well, not so much me, but my mother-in-law–has had the same phone number forever…she could have at least called me to let me know. I mean, I invited her to my wedding…not that she showed up . She asked, “You have my number, right?”, after telling me about the wedding. I nodded yes (she’s had the same one since we were in 1st grade) and told her I’d call her. I didn’t. I couldn’t get myself to. I felt so hurt by it all, call me a drama queen if you will.

I remember being in 3rd or 5th grade and we were in the lunch line. We were laughing like crazy and I don’t remember exactly what we were talking about, but I do remember clearly telling her she’d be my kids’ Godmother when we grew up. It really, truly sucks that she isn’t .

A similar thing happened when Vero was going to have her baby. They called me that same morning before I went into work to let me know she was having a baby shower. Of course I couldn’t make it, but I wanted to so badly! I almost skipped work to go. Instead, I got her some gifts and we dropped them off later. I remember getting tears in my eyes and actually sobbing when I saw her little girl in her arms. I felt so happy for her. But I didn’t even know her boyfriend. I didn’t even know her anymore. I felt so odd standing there with the gift bag and felt almost silly to be crying over this stranger and her child. I’ve known her since Pre-K. What really put the dagger into my chest was that Sally was the one throwing the baby shower for her (I’ve known Sally since Pre-K, too). I felt so alienated…and so jealous that they still had this strong friendship and I was just this girl they barely remembered at the last minute and decided to call for the heck of it. I don’t think she ever really got over our “problem” from 7th grade. It hurts to know I hurt her so badly that she may have hated me all those years after that. Maybe she thinks about me now and still resents me? That’s what hurts most of all.

As for Jessica, we kept in touch every so often. She’d even come sleep over before she had Danielle and her and her husband were having problems. We were “the twins” because we looked so much alike (though I always thought she was much more attractive), were the exact same height (short!), wore the same thing without knowing sometimes, and were inseperable. Until 8th grade and Coral came along. But that’s a whole other blog entry .

I know for a while Jessica didn’t like me, for reasons I don’t even know about, when we were in middle school. Maybe around 7th grade even. Maybe influenced by Coral and her hatred for me. I really don’t know why she hated me so much. People said she was jealous, though she had no reason to be. I believe it now due to the fact that she (Coral) tried to ruin every relationship I had in 9th grade when I still lived in McAllen. But Jessica and I kept in touch in high school since she went to a different one than the rest of us and kept in touch even more after high school. I miss her the most I think. I remember we lost touch after I had Jaylen. Then I called her up again one day when I was about to ‘pop’ with him and we started talking again. Then, she was going to have another baby, another baby girl. She called one day and asked if she could buy my maternity clothes off of me and I appologetically declined because most had just barely been bought for me by Mom and Mary in my last trimester and I didn’t think it would be too nice to get rid of everything for about $100. (These were after all, Motherhood and Mothertime clothes, which aren’t very cheap ). I think I spoke to her once after that. I really hope we just lost touch because of our busy lives and not because I wouldn’t sell her maternity clothes. As I’ve mentioned before…I just wish I had a crystal ball where I can see how everyone’s doing. Not so much get in contact with them again, because, based on past experiences, I know it’ll be a one-sided thing where I’ll be the only one making an effort. But I just want to see how everyone’s doing. It’s quite sad I haven’t heard from Dayse since 10th grade. I wish I knew how Pete, Lazaro, Freddy, Roy, Paul, how they’re all doing too.

It just sucks that I lost all those friendships. Out of all the friendships/aquaintances I made after leaving McAllen, none were as special as the ones I had with my childhood friends. None felt the same. I could never really trust anyone. Possibly one of the reasons I clung to Mario so much when I’d moved to Mission…because he understood me and actually cared about me. Whoo…I think I need to get to bed. I’m getting all choked up and am revealing too much information LOL. I feel silly now. But I’ve typed too damn much to close the window.

*sigh* I really need that crystal ball…

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Good Things & Colds

I’m deaf in my left ear right now. I caught Eenan’s cold around Friday night and have felt like crap ever since. I don’t understand how I can get sick all the darn time if I drink juice at least once a day (the apple juice we drink has 125% vitamin C!), I exercise and take vitamins and I still manage to have the weakest immune system on the planet. I need to be healthy to take care of my kids, my husband, my pets and my house! I can’t afford to be sick at all, dammit. I have the worst cough…that’s how my ear blew out and I’m SO scared because that’s how Mom lost her hearing in both ears. One year she had a really bad cough–so bad, that she lost partial hearing in one ear and almost completely lost her hearing in the other. I can’t imagine, and don’t want to imagine, what it would be like to be hearing impaired. Mom has such a hard time with it. I feel like I’m getting a fever and my whole body aches to boot. Okay, I’ll stop whining .

I don’t remember much from Thursday, the day after I last posted. I know I spent a good chunk of the day cleaning and sorting stuff for the garage sale. We went to Aunt Nora’s for a while to visit her and Mom and John.

On Friday, we woke up at the time we usually do to get Eenan ready for school, which was a bad idea. We dropped him off, hung up the signs for the garage sale, and realized we were going to be starting late. Really late. Aunt Nora didn’t even get there till around 8:30 and we were supposed to have everything ready by 7. We hadn’t even brought Mom’s things out when people were arriving! I ended up taking them over to the apartment next door for them to look at stuff instead of lugging it all over here. It was sort of a bad idea, since some ladies were super careless and were breaking shit. A group of ladies (that came the last time we had a garage sale) bought a whole bunch of stuff…but only because we were selling things for a quarter and for a dollar and they were STILL trying to jack stuff! Can you beleive that?? They saw some little ornaments Mom had on the kitchen counter and thought they’d be sneaky and pass them to eachother hand-in-hand but I saw them. When they were walking out I said, “You gonna pay for that?”. They acted like they had no idea what I was talking about and pointed to the little ornaments. They were like, “Oh! Of course!” Grrr.

We did good that day. It was nice and breezy and it was fun sitting out there with Aunt Nora and talking. She was cracking up with Jaylen. Tio Arturo stopped by and took Aunt Nora to lunch, and they saved us and brought some back for us, which was so nice. They ended up leaving at around 3:30 since they had a Cher concert to catch that night . Mom made around $50 and we made around $50 so that was pretty cool, considering how damn cheap we were selling everything. But we did want to get rid of all the stuff so it worked out. John came over that day after school since he was going to spend the weekend with us. When we were cleaning up I get a really serious call from Jorge, who was looking for Mario. I told him Mario had gone somewhere but I’d tell him to call him back. Jorge said the boss wanted to talk to him. My heart sank and I felt lightheaded. Did I hear correctly? Could my husband possibly be getting a job?? The job he’s wanted forever?

Mario got there and between squeals and jumping up and down I told him to call Jorge. He did and Mario said he needed to freshen up and go talk to the boss. He’d be starting the next morning at 11am. I couldn’t believe it, but I was so happy. Especially for Mario who wanted this so badly and heck, we needed it so badly!

Mary picked Mom up since Aunt Nora and Tio were getting ready for the concert, so she spent a little time there too and I gave her her moola. Then Mario and Mary would drop her off at home and then go to Sears to pick up some tools Mario would need. He was all smiles. He was SUPER excited. I hope everything goes well. After everything we’ve been through the past year, I hope this is our chance to be happy for a good long while, and hopefully not have everything ripped away from us as it’s happened twice before. I hope, hope, hope everything goes well!

Saturday, Aunt Nora didn’t come to the garage sale. She told me she was super tired (don’t blame her) and that I could sell her stuff and keep the money. I asked her about 3 times if she was sure and she said yes. Mario picked up McDonald’s for us in the morning and then he left to work *squeal*. I missed him instantly. I had John out there with me most of the day, since I felt lonely. Mary ended up taking Eenan to the doctor since he was still feeling sick and now had a fever, so I just stayed with Jaylen. We were chased around by bees all darn day long! When the garage sale was over, I was so relieved! We took the remainder of the stuff to Mario’s Grandma’s house and then came home. Mary asked if we wanted to watch Shrek 2 with her so the boys and I went over. Big Mario got home…he shot a deer and it was barely the first day of Deer Season! Then Mario got home and told me about his day. He loved it !

The next day, Mary, Jaylen and I woke up early and went to the big flea market/garage sale. Eenan slept in with John and Mario. I bought a few Hot Wheels for Mario that I know he didn’t have to add to his birthday present and got the kids a few things (dinosaurs for both and a Swift Heart Rabbit for Eenan). I was kinda disappointed that I didn’t find too many things, but relieved at the same time since I still felt guilty for how much I spent the last time . I found a Raspberry Tart doll, baseball Popple, a really cute Rainbow Brite sleeping bag, Care Bear sleeping bag and Strawberry Shortcake twin flat sheet. In all, I spent only $15!! I was so happy with my purchases and proud of myself for putting the rest of the sheets/sleeping bags down LOL. Here’s a pic of them. I put up a bigger pic of the SBSC one in the SBSC page and will be adding the other ones soon.

I cut John’s hair later and spent the rest of that day and Monday cleaning. I’ve been sick as a dog, but I’ve been cleaning and it sucks. Monday morning I drove Eenan to school by myself for the first time ever. I’ve driven him before, but Mario was always in the passenger seat. I decided to let him sleep in more since he was going to work and bravely drove my child to school. I left his Motrin with the nurse and instructed her as to when his next dosage was and what his symptoms were. When Sonia picked him up after school and got the medicine from the nurse, the nurse gushed about how adorable he was. He said, “Mmmm! I LOVE Motrin! I love the orange flavor!” And took it with no problem. He knows he needs to take two teaspoons so when he swallowed that one he said, “More please!” LOL. He’s so cooperative. Well, at school he is LOL.

We decided we’ll be taking Eenan to the doctor again tomorrow. He still has a fever, even though it’s not as bad as it was, but it’s still lingering. He’s got to have an infection somewhere and the doctor didn’t prescribe antibiotics. Since Mary took him on Saturday, the pediatrician we go to was closed so she took him to a clinic. The same clinic that told us Jaylen’s foot was fine and just to “keep an eye on it” when he was first diagnosed with MRSA. Bastards. I told Mary we need to take him to his “real” doctor. Heaven forbid he have Strep :(.

I’m heading to bed. I’ve got horrible chills now and my fever’s in full swing. Already started on antibiotics…just hope they kick in sooner than later .

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