Being Grateful

I have loved today. Woke up “late” (at 8:30), which is much better than waking up at 6:30am. The kids were already awake and were watching TV quietly in the living room. Made breakfast (breakfast sandwich for Mario and French toast for the rest of us) and just sat in absolute quiet bliss while enjoying my warm toast.

And then the kids started screaming. But only for a little while :).

This, the not having to rush around and leave the house to pick up/drop off kids 3 times a day, makes me wish Summer vacation was already near. We’re about 6 1/2 months away but at least I have 3 weeks of Christmas vacation to look foward to. Yay!

I decided that this year I wanted to have Dad over for Thanksgiving. I’ve never invited him over before, mostly because I was afraid I’d be scoffed at by the family, namely by my dramatic mother. And I couldn’t stand the thought of him spending another Thanksgiving either alone, or with other family-less friends at the Salvation Army dinner.

I spoke to Mario about it and he thought it was a great idea. I asked Mary first if it was okay, whom I figured wouldn’t have a problem with it since Elda’s already having her whole family over. Sure enough, she said it was fine. I presented the idea to John and Mom simultaneously. John didn’t say anything, which meant he approved. Mother, on the other hand, threw a fit.

“Oh, now he’s your father?”

“Oh, since he’s always been around!”

I tell her he’s always been my father; she’s the one who’s always tried to turn me against him. I tell her I know what he did–I’m well aware that he was a horrible parent, but I’d like to make ammends since he’s been making the effort the past couple of years to actually be a part of our lives. And why, when he’d call, would she spent at least half an hour to an hour talking to him like they were good ol’ pals? Why couldn’t we have a relationship with him?

I never had a grandfather–I’d like my daughter (along with my boys) to know hers, all of them. I let her know this. After she huffed and puffed and stuck her nose up at us (because John expressed his opinion, which matched mine, too) I gave up and said, “You know what, FINE, I won’t invite him!” She says, “How can you have him over with Mary’s family? How ridiculous!” I tell her, “Um, Mom, you’re kind of going to be there too, with Mary’s family.” I know there’s a difference, because she’s known Mary for years now and contributes to most holiday dinners/get-togethers, but there’s a similarity in that she’s not Mary’s blood, and that’s what my Mom was trying to use as justification.

When I tell her again to just drop it, I wasn’t going to invite him, she softens up and says, “Just tell him to come then.” Grr. My frustration with this woman never ends!

Which is also something I’ve been thinking about lately. Since Mom lives right next door she’s always here. I had to plead with her not to come over before 11am, because she was at the door at 8am every day. She talks during my tv shows, talks while I’m reading, yells at John for whatever reason when he comes over, amongst other annoying things. I’m probably even more irritable considering the pregnancy, but lately she’s had me at my wit’s end. It’s like I have a 3rd child.

At the end of the day I start thinking about it: what if she wasn’t here? Like, really not here. What if something happens to her? I’d feel horrible and guilty for snapping at her all the time and wishing she’d just go home. The day she’s not here anymore to “bother” me, is the day I’m going to wish she was.

I’m learning this Thanksgiving holiday that I need to be grateful for every last thing I have. I need to learn to appreciate everyone, regardless of their quirks and vexes. You never know how life will change; who’ll be taken away from you at the drop of a dime.

I’m grateful for so many things: the roof over our heads, food, working cars, our health, being able to pay our bills, Mario’s job, this pregnancy, my husband and children, my whole family, friends: old and new and ones I’ve thankfully gotten back in touch with this year. For another day in this world! I’m just thankful for everything.

If I don’t get around to individually telling everyone, I hope you have a great Thanksgiving, full of love and family and friends!