Day 5, Post-Op. I’m not feeling as much PAIN in my ankle, per se. I’m feeling a lot of stretching and discomfort and ITCHINESS! I just want to reach something in there and scratch above the right side of my ankle but there’s some iron-clad splint all up in there. The back is getting itchy, too, but I’m thinking it’s because either the incisions are starting to heal, or they already have and my weird, jerky, involuntary movements are causing the scabs to stretch and tear. *shudder* Just thinking of it gives me the heebee jeebees. But yes. I think my anti-depressants are causing me to develop Tardive dyskinesia (this is my hypochondria speaking) or I have restless leg syndrome, because even before surgery I was getting these weird spasms and jerks in my legs, usually around 11pm. And now it’s apparently happening when I sleep, because I’ll wake up from sleep with a bad pain. I’m just praying it’s my imagination and that my incisions are healing perfectly.
I’m also feeling quite tender and bruised towards the top of the splint/cast, sort of near my shin and calf. It’s the weirdest pain ever. Jorge said it’s probably because of them shaving my muscle off of the bone to make repairs. Just thinking of that makes me want to faint.
My face still has the weird scabs I noticed when I woke up Wednesday morning, the day after surgery. I think I had old zits or some that were forming and they didn’t give a fuck when they ripped the intubation tape off my face 😆 . Now I have these scars and a cut and it’s taking all the power within me not to mess with them when my anxiety strikes. I already managed to chew the inside of my cheeks and some of my lips. Why can’t I just stop doing that!?
I’ve spent the day finishing up “The Hook Up Plan” on Netflix and now I’ve started “Valeria”. They’re pretty good! I also finally opened and started using my AirPods I bought for a good deal on Target.com. I gotta say, I love how they make phone calls sound. I swear, sometimes I think I’m going deaf like mom. It really frightens me.
I ventured out into the house today! Emily pushed me in my computer chair LOL. But I immediately regretted it because my Halloween decorations are out and my Thanksgiving ones are not D: . There were old cups and dirty dishes on the dining room table and on the counter in the kitchen. The kitchen nook table had a juicy, rotting banana on it *aherk*. Emily cleaned that up. And threw the moldy, fermented apple juice down the drain. I was trying not to have an anxiety attack. She was supposed to make spaghetti because that was the deal if I got us Raising Cane’s for lunch, but because the pots and pans she needed were dirty, she refused to cook. Same, kid.
So she made me a sandwich instead. I am SO nervous about gaining weight while I’m thrown in this bed. I swear, I will not take being active for granted once my ankle is healed. I couldn’t imagine being stuck to my bed like this. This is a huge reminder about eating better and not going full Type 2 Diabetes (I was pre-diabetic during my last check-up). I think of dad and his amputations. I think of Mom and her now using a wheelchair most of the time. I think of grandma and the 61 years she spent confined to her bed.
Don’t get me wrong, the resting and downtime is great, but it’s frustrating not being able to clean, or do laundry or dishes (even though I hate it), or organize my bedroom or my desk. I’d like to move my Cricut machine to where it’s more functional and I can use it better, but there are too many Knick-knacks on my desk and shelves and I can already hear the girls whining if I ask them to help. The little time I spent in my computer chair in the kitchen really made my leg sore, so I came back to my room.
I guess I’m done whining for now 😆 . Going to get back to watching “Valeria”. And figuring out how not to lose my shit with the itchiness happening in my foot.