Category: Coronavirus

Learning Again

I’d been meaning to write for a few days now, but since my Desktop computer is still ridiculously slow, and I can’t seem to remember my password for WordPress, and I’m using my iPad as a laptop but my keyboard died (I literally hadn’t charged it in like, 3 years), and I couldn’t find one of those old-connection chargers—I didn’t update. (Wasn’t THAT just the longest run-on sentence in the world?)

Anyway. I had my follow-up appointment with my ortho last Wednesday and of course it took 4 hours. Linda is a saint for sitting with me that long, but thank God she does ‘cause she makes it fun. So when we’ve almost been sitting there for 4 hours and the doc finally comes in to talk to me, he already seems annoyed. He says, “You were supposed to come in 2 weeks ago, what happened?” I said, “Oh, I had to call and cancel my appointment because I had Covid.” And he snaps, “Well, I didn’t know that.” You would think the woman I spoke to would have made a note or something about why I rescheduled. 🙄

He goes on and says I should already be out of the boot. I’m shocked and mumble, “But I’ve been using it for the 2 weeks and I just started putting weight on it. I can stand, but I can’t walk on it at all.” He closes his eyes and says, “Well you need to lose the crutches.” My mouth drops open and I ask when I’m starting physical therapy. He says he’ll get his Worker’s Comp girl to give me information and that I’ll be attending 3 times a week. So to further annoy the man, I ask if I can go to my old physical therapy place because well, it kinda takes a really long time here for follow-ups, and how long would it take at their therapy? He says about an hour or 2 (bullshit) and that he’s in charge of my surgery and after-care so I would be attending physical therapy at their office. 😡

I’ve been putting weight on my foot more and more and have been “walking”…with my crutches. There is NO WAY that I can make my brain communicate with my foot and leg and move it forward. And when I do, I feel like I’m going to collapse from the shocking pain I feel in my heel and the right side of my ankle, where the scar is.

I should be starting physical therapy tomorrow—with my old therapy place. I asked around and I can choose where I want to go so *hmph*. I have to admit though, I’m terrified of what exercises I’m going to have to do. Last time was just sprains and strains. This time I actually broke something and have metal in my leg and need to learn to walk all over again 🙁 .

And speaking of learning again—I’ll have to force myself to eventually learn to date again because Jorge and I are completely DUNZO. Not even sure if I ever mentioned that we were trying to “work things out” again but that was a total flop. I think the holidays made us lonely and nostalgic and it was convenient to spend the holidays together with the kids and our families. But spending a week together just showed me we really don’t belong together. Even for Alaethia’s birthday last week: he was just in such a rotten mood and told me the ugliest things. The one that stuck with me the most and I keep repeating in my head when he randomly texts and starts being “nice” is, “I never should have married you” and other horrible things he said about why we got married. So I was a bitch and talked shit back. Of course before the night was over he texted to say he made a fool of himself and he was sorry but he couldn’t stop himself 🙄 . But it was fine. It needed to happen. I don’t want to waste anymore time being unhappy or on edge. For now, I’m concentrating on the kids, work and just living day by day.

Eenan and Alaethia tested positive for Covid on Friday. Mary picked us all up and we went to get PCR tests done. I was supposed to go out on Friday night but decided I should probably quarantine. Again. We get our results on Wednesday. They called us today and scared the shit out of us saying that all 4 of us were positive. I was freaking out; my hypochondria was acting up and making me feel like I was having heart palpitations and trouble breathing, but I’m sure it was a mild panic attack LOL. They called back to tell us it was a mistake—we were negative on the rapid tests. Jesus Christ.

Anyway. It’s almost midnight and I have to work in the morning so I shall go to sleep.

1st Post of 2022

Guess what I got for Christmas?? No, guess!

I GOT COVID!! 😡

I am currently on Day 11 and I am, thankfully, feeling way better. The only thing I’m really feeling is the darn cough that goes between dry and phlegmy and the shortness of breath. Not only does lugging my body weight on my crutches make me tired; now I’m short of breath because of Covid, too.

A quick summary of how it started:

Day 1, Monday – Woke up for (tele)work and I noticed I had a scratchy throat. I figured it was my leaf-blower of a fan that caused it, since Jorge had just said the day before, Sunday, that he’d gotten a sore throat from my ridiculous fan. He had helped his mom empty out her storage unit and then was taking his kids and Daisy paint balling. He’d invited Jaylen but he was scheduled to work. Much to my annoyance, Jorge ended up staying at his house since he was drinking with Robert.

Around 9am that same day (Monday), he texts, “We have a problem” and tells me that Daisy and Justin were positive for Covid. Great. I start thinking back to our Christmas get-together and panic about our moms and then for Julien, who hasn’t gotten any of his vaccines (he was with his mom after the vaccines were approved for young children, so I assume he isn’t vaccinated).

Jorge says his sore throat is getting worse and now he has a cough. He’s also getting body aches. I start worrying that my sore throat isn’t from my fan after all. By the end of the night I’ve also got a dry cough and my sore throat is so painful I feel like I’m going to throw up.

Day 2, Tuesday – I wake up feeling awful. My throat is now very swollen and I have a bad headache. I called in to work and spent most of the day sleeping. Jorge Door Dashed some Gatorades to the house for me and the kids (mainly Jaylen) would pop in with gloves and a mask to bring me food (soup, mostly). I started my round-the-clock regimen of Tylenol every 5-6 hours. By the evening I was feverish and then got chills throughout the night. I didn’t even get to find out how high my fever got since our thermometer’s batteries were dead and we couldn’t find out newest one. Trying to get to the bathroom was brutal; every “hobble” I took with my crutches made my head feel like it was going to crack in half, and like my eyes were going to pop out of my head.

Day 3, Wednesday – I couldn’t sleep all night; I tossed and turned from the fever and chills, my throat was still making me feel nauseous and the cough was making my chest and back hurt. I called into work again and once again spent a lot of the day sleeping. The time I spent awake was spent watching “New Girl”. That day was when Angela tested positive and Julien started getting sick, too 🙁 .

Day 4, Thursday – I felt a little better. I was still coughing but my sore throat and headache were FINALLY gone and my fever finally broke. So I worked that day. It was a bit hard to stay awake; I felt so tired, but thankfully it was a short work-day. My body started feeling really sore, probably from my body contracting from the chills the past 2 nights. It felt as though I’d gotten a crazy workout after not working out for ages. Also, Jaylen made us some spaghetti and meatballs with Alfredo sauce. YUM.

Day 5, Friday – It was New Year’s Eve. I couldn’t help but remember my New Year’s Eve from 2 years ago when Jorge was still the district manager at the Wing Stop in San Antonio and he kept coming up with excuses for not coming home (they got super busy, they had tons of orders, etc.) but he was with that dumb little girl, Sabrina 😡 . In my usual fashion, even though I was sick, I brought it up to him and how lonely I was that evening. My biological children had spent that year with Mario, Jorgie and Justin were sick in their rooms with Flu B and Javi wasn’t there. It was just me and Bentos. This year, I was alone again and isolating, but I told myself I wasn’t going to allow myself to get upset about it. Instead, I masked up, washed my hands, gloved up, and made myself some Velveeta/Rotel cheese dip and some cream cheese and raspberry chipotle dip and watched “New Girl”.

The kids FaceTimed me and Jorge FaceTimed me too. He was doing a lot better. He was even working on Javi’s vintage truck.

My babies, at their dad’s

Day 6, Saturday – I realized I lost my sense of smell. I’d been smelling my Vick’s jar daily; to help with my congestion and also, the scent is so potent I’d know for sure when I was losing my sense of smell. Well, Day 6 was the day. I could tell that I was breathing in something minty, but I couldn’t smell it at all. Other symptoms on Day 6: my ears felt like I had cotton balls shoved in them and no amount of yawning or trying to pop them helped. My dry cough would come around every-so-often and I was no longer phlegmy, but I did feel some type of pressure in my chest. Like I almost felt like there’s a rattling in there? Or something. That same feeling is what makes me try to cough to get it out. Another symptom is muscle aches. Everything was still sore.

This was the day Briana broke the news to me that Betty White had passed away at the age of 99. And yet, it seemed like it was too soon. Jorge and I had just been talking about Celebrities that had passed and how sad it was going to be when she was gone. 😥

Jorge brought me tacos that day and we hung out for a bit. It was nice to have human interaction LOL.

Day 7 and Beyond – Jorge brought menudo for lunch on Sunday and it hit the spot. I’d been craving it forever. I tried getting around more (well, as much as I can with my crutches and boot) since I didn’t want to end up getting worse. I was feeling a lot better. Except for waking up all night on Tuesday from coughing. It was so annoying. It made the shortness of breath worse and I called in to work and spent a lot of the day sleeping. That night I was the same and called in half a day Thursday. I was just so exhausted. As of now, I’m a little worried to be honest, about the darn shortness of breath. Sending Jorge to CVS tomorrow to get me some cough medicine. I spoke to Martha tonight; both of us are getting over Covid. Well, she’s in the brunt of it right now. And my poor Jaylen JUST tested positive today 😥 . I hope it wasn’t me that gave it to him. He thinks it’s one of his co-workers. Mary took the girls to get tested today and thankfully they were both negative. I just really hope 2022 is kinder to all of us. I really do. I’m even scared to MENTION THAT because I don’t have the best track record. Praying for and manifesting the best vibes!

2021 So Far – Super Quick Recap

Feeling super adulty today. I didn’t sleep in and I did most of the laundry yesterday, which I usually do on Sundays and am killing myself at 12am when there’s still shit to be dried. Anyway! So I only have a couple of loads of towels to wash and then I’m done with that. I also filed my taxes–hell yeahhh! I remember waiting till the last minute last year and then bitching when my refund took forever LOL. I’ve got bills to pay this year so, I’m on pins and needles waiting for that money.

Since my last post: I’m liking my job. Love the pay (even though taxes, retirement and health insurances KILL ME), love that I have my own area (cubicle–my first job where I’m posted up in a cubicle!) and I get to read at my desk during lunch. My co-workers are all awesome, but I only get to see 2 of them every 2 weeks. How do I explain it? Like, they’re scheduled for 2 weeks in a row and then they telework for 4 weeks or some crap like that. Luckies. But I recently started teleworking once a week, which is nice, but this past week was a disaster. The internet kept crapping out, I deleted a file from our SharePoint like a dumbass that I couldn’t retrieve and then I had to go in halfway through the day because a shipment of supplies was being delivered *face palm*. My boss didn’t reply to my texts about going in because he was in a meeting and I didn’t want to end up HAVING to go in and being in a hurry, so I panicked and went in. He sees me in the office and says, “What are you doing here??” *face palm #2* But it was still a good day.

I met one of my female co-workers for the first time this week and I just love her. We are both girly, love pink and plants. And have tons in common! She even gave me cuttings from her beautiful Golden Pothos!

As for Jorge and I…we decided around…December? that we would see how things would go between us. He did start taking meds for his mental health issues (but forgets to sometimes and then we both can’t handle it) and he did see a psychiatrist like I suggested (but then stopped going). Most of the time he’s the “old, OLD Jorge”–the Jorge that was always completely infatuated with me and just loved spending time with me. But sometimes, like lately, the “bad, old Jorge” makes an appearance and I can’t deal. It brings back too many bad memories. I’ve decided that this year I’m working on my inner peace and dealing with his (or anyone’s) bullshit ain’t for me. Not doing that anymore. It’s taking a lot of motivation that I’m struggling to find, but I’m working on my goals this year.

My kiddos are doing fine, even though Eenan doesn’t come over as often as he used to, but we do video chat. Jaylen, Alaethia and Emmos are here the majority of the month, but still visit their dad (who is, amazingly, buying his own house after all these years). I’m still renting my same house, but hoping that’ll change in the future. So much of my money gone to waste on rent, but at least we have a roof over our heads.

Dimitri (John’s baby) turned 2 on January 30th.

Alaethia turned 14 last month and Emily turns 12 this month–crazy!!

The girls have recently gotten really into working out; I hope they continue long enough so that I can join them. I’m telling you–that damn motivation is hard to find! I’ve unsuccessfully started and re-started Keto. I messed up this weekend, again. But I NEED to get on the ball. I’m holding steady at 142-145. FML!!!

I’d rather read (“Luster” by Raven Leilani, “When No One is Watching” by Alyssa Cole are my most recent finished reads) than go for a walk, but I did yesterday with the girls. It was nice taking Jack Jack with us (oh, Jack is my Shih Tzu that Martha gave us at the end of January <3 !).

I don’t think I wrote about it, but around September/October, mom started having really bad pains in her back and started losing mobility in her legs due to the pain. She had about 3 falls–with the last one being so bad that I asked Aunt Nora for help with getting her into a nursing home. It was a good thing I showed up after work that day, because after Linda left, Mom decided to go to the kitchen for lunch and fell and stayed there all those hours till I showed up. I didn’t have a key to John’s apartment so I had to call the ambulance and ask John to please hurry. He got there before the ambulance did, thank goodness. It was heartbreaking to see her there on the floor when we barged in but we didn’t want to move her. The EMT’s did and she was in so much pain. Turned out that she had several old fractures and the newest one was causing the intense pain. She decided on her own after that that she did want to be in a nursing home. It was a relief. I thought she would become more depressed, but she’s got some awesome neighbors and roommate and nurses. Her roommate, Sonia, and her very good friend, Bill, spend time with mom and have actually gotten her to go out and play bingo and get her nails done. I’m so happy she’s happy. I have to get a Covid test done every 2 weeks to ensure that I’m negative and to be able to visit her, but it’s worth it to see her.

The girls (my friends) and I had been having weekly Girl’s Nights, but because Covid is once again on the rise, we’ve kind of halted. Mary, from Quinta Mazatlan, passed away due to Covid. It was a shock. Duvin, my old co-worker from TABC, passed away from a heart attack. It’s just so sad. Javi is also very sick. He’s back in Austin with Dinah. He hasn’t replied to messages or tagged me in cat posts on Facebook like he used to, so that worries me also. I know his condition is very grave, but we’re all hoping for a miracle.

Ok, going to make sure these girls get the dishes in the dishwasher before I start the foods for Superbowl. Go Tom Brady! I mean, Buccaneers!!