I’ve honestly been tip-toe-ing (literally) this entire month leading up to October 27th, which is when I broke my stupid ankle in 6 places last year. I’m attributing that to PTSD and just having bad luck for the past couple of years. But my anniversary came and went. I haven’t broken anything else, thank God. But these days I only wear flats and am constantly looking at the ground when I’m walking. I’m telling you–PTSD.
But I managed to lose 30 lbs. since March, thanks to sticking to Keto.
Although I’m still not working out, I feel better about myself these days and I was able to go from pre-diabetic during my July 2021 labs (6.3 A1C) to 5.3 A1C this past August 2022. My goal is to further lower that number. I’ve recently been denied physical therapy (ever since the staff changed, things just aren’t the same. I miss Lynnette!), so I need to start using my treadmill and stationary bike.
As for my mental health: my new meds seem to be doing better for my depression and anxiety (but that could also be because things seem to be falling into place for me lately). I’m no longer experiencing those weird brain zaps or leg twitches and I haven’t gained weight, thank goodness.
I’m also hoping to make more changes to get further in my career with the government, so that’s kind of what I’m focused on right now. Work has been great, even though Julianna promoted to a supervisory position in Laredo and she’s leaving 😥 .
And speaking of: Eenan is now working and Jaylen just switched jobs/careers. I’m so proud of them!
And the girls: well, they’re too busy being teenagers with social lives but they are both doing great in school so I’m fine with driving them around. Sometimes LOL.
Seeing my friends lately has been a challenge. Everyone’s busy or have things going on in their own lives. But I finally got to catch up with Sally this past Friday. It was nice and she’s always a wonderful hostess.
It’s Sunday and I have errands to run and stuff to study so this will be all for now. I’m only blogging because I reformatted my hard drive yesterday and wiped it clean and it’s actually working! On to my next cup of coffee 8) .
Feeling super adulty today. I didn’t sleep in and I did most of the laundry yesterday, which I usually do on Sundays and am killing myself at 12am when there’s still shit to be dried. Anyway! So I only have a couple of loads of towels to wash and then I’m done with that. I also filed my taxes–hell yeahhh! I remember waiting till the last minute last year and then bitching when my refund took forever LOL. I’ve got bills to pay this year so, I’m on pins and needles waiting for that money.
Since my last post: I’m liking my job. Love the pay (even though taxes, retirement and health insurances KILL ME), love that I have my own area (cubicle–my first job where I’m posted up in a cubicle!) and I get to read at my desk during lunch. My co-workers are all awesome, but I only get to see 2 of them every 2 weeks. How do I explain it? Like, they’re scheduled for 2 weeks in a row and then they telework for 4 weeks or some crap like that. Luckies. But I recently started teleworking once a week, which is nice, but this past week was a disaster. The internet kept crapping out, I deleted a file from our SharePoint like a dumbass that I couldn’t retrieve and then I had to go in halfway through the day because a shipment of supplies was being delivered *face palm*. My boss didn’t reply to my texts about going in because he was in a meeting and I didn’t want to end up HAVING to go in and being in a hurry, so I panicked and went in. He sees me in the office and says, “What are you doing here??” *face palm #2* But it was still a good day.
I met one of my female co-workers for the first time this week and I just love her. We are both girly, love pink and plants. And have tons in common! She even gave me cuttings from her beautiful Golden Pothos!
As for Jorge and I…we decided around…December? that we would see how things would go between us. He did start taking meds for his mental health issues (but forgets to sometimes and then we both can’t handle it) and he did see a psychiatrist like I suggested (but then stopped going). Most of the time he’s the “old, OLD Jorge”–the Jorge that was always completely infatuated with me and just loved spending time with me. But sometimes, like lately, the “bad, old Jorge” makes an appearance and I can’t deal. It brings back too many bad memories. I’ve decided that this year I’m working on my inner peace and dealing with his (or anyone’s) bullshit ain’t for me. Not doing that anymore. It’s taking a lot of motivation that I’m struggling to find, but I’m working on my goals this year.
My kiddos are doing fine, even though Eenan doesn’t come over as often as he used to, but we do video chat. Jaylen, Alaethia and Emmos are here the majority of the month, but still visit their dad (who is, amazingly, buying his own house after all these years). I’m still renting my same house, but hoping that’ll change in the future. So much of my money gone to waste on rent, but at least we have a roof over our heads.
Dimitri (John’s baby) turned 2 on January 30th.
Alaethia turned 14 last month and Emily turns 12 this month–crazy!!
The girls have recently gotten really into working out; I hope they continue long enough so that I can join them. I’m telling you–that damn motivation is hard to find! I’ve unsuccessfully started and re-started Keto. I messed up this weekend, again. But I NEED to get on the ball. I’m holding steady at 142-145. FML!!!
I’d rather read (“Luster” by Raven Leilani, “When No One is Watching” by Alyssa Cole are my most recent finished reads) than go for a walk, but I did yesterday with the girls. It was nice taking Jack Jack with us (oh, Jack is my Shih Tzu that Martha gave us at the end of January <3 !).
I don’t think I wrote about it, but around September/October, mom started having really bad pains in her back and started losing mobility in her legs due to the pain. She had about 3 falls–with the last one being so bad that I asked Aunt Nora for help with getting her into a nursing home. It was a good thing I showed up after work that day, because after Linda left, Mom decided to go to the kitchen for lunch and fell and stayed there all those hours till I showed up. I didn’t have a key to John’s apartment so I had to call the ambulance and ask John to please hurry. He got there before the ambulance did, thank goodness. It was heartbreaking to see her there on the floor when we barged in but we didn’t want to move her. The EMT’s did and she was in so much pain. Turned out that she had several old fractures and the newest one was causing the intense pain. She decided on her own after that that she did want to be in a nursing home. It was a relief. I thought she would become more depressed, but she’s got some awesome neighbors and roommate and nurses. Her roommate, Sonia, and her very good friend, Bill, spend time with mom and have actually gotten her to go out and play bingo and get her nails done. I’m so happy she’s happy. I have to get a Covid test done every 2 weeks to ensure that I’m negative and to be able to visit her, but it’s worth it to see her.
The girls (my friends) and I had been having weekly Girl’s Nights, but because Covid is once again on the rise, we’ve kind of halted. Mary, from Quinta Mazatlan, passed away due to Covid. It was a shock. Duvin, my old co-worker from TABC, passed away from a heart attack. It’s just so sad. Javi is also very sick. He’s back in Austin with Dinah. He hasn’t replied to messages or tagged me in cat posts on Facebook like he used to, so that worries me also. I know his condition is very grave, but we’re all hoping for a miracle.
Ok, going to make sure these girls get the dishes in the dishwasher before I start the foods for Superbowl. Go Tom Brady! I mean, Buccaneers!!
I’m currently quarantining at home with the kids. Not to worry–they’re 100% OK. Well, most of them. Jaylen and I are the ones who had secondary contact with people so we got tests done last Wednesday. I had a sore throat and cough and my stomach wasn’t feeling good, but I didn’t have fever at all.
It was a rather annoying morning, really, trying to get tested. We decided to go to the Urgent Care on Savannah, where Jorge had gotten his test done in April, and we arrived on time and everything. As soon as the office opened I began calling, only to be put on hold. The longest I was on hold was 9 minutes. I almost blew a gasket so I told Jaylen to wait in the car while I told people off. I walk into the lobby and it’s already packed–as packed as you can get while social distancing 6 feet. I tell the nurse that I’d been trying to call but they kept putting me on hold. She said, “Oh I’m sorry, there’s a waiting list.” I said, “Um, OK…how will I get on the waiting list if you never take my call?” She said, “Oh no, ma’am. I mean, there’s a waiting list. There are 500 people in front of you.” I couldn’t believe it.
So Jaylen and I went to the free testing site closest to our house. My boss had sent me a flyer and it was a city away. We’re driving to the site and see a super long line. That went on for about 2 miles. There *had* to be at least 300-400 people waiting in line, too. We said screw it, we’d take our chances and go to our doc’s office.
He explained about the finger-prick blood test and how they’re not accurate (later that day I found several articles about that online). He was almost hesitant about administering the tests and gave us a good explanation about them and how the results wouldn’t be here for another 5-7 days. We said fine, we needed them for work anyway. Laura lets us know it will be painful but she’ll be as gentle as possible. I thought This can’t be any worse than the flu test that tickles your brain. But I was wrong.
As the swab made its way into my left nostril I felt as though I’d gotten some type of acid-water in my nose, then felt immense pressure behind my left eye and then had an excruciating pain in my left temple. My eye immediately started crying like crazy. It was a pain I’d never experienced before in my life!
I was in pain the rest of the day (headache and even my ears started bothering me) and then I felt so exhausted I passed out for a few hours. I spoke to Laura on the phone and she said it would be 7-10 days for the results, not 5-7. Geez.
So I’ve been home with the kiddos. Organizing, cleaning here and there, spending time with the animals and kiddos, watching 90 Day Fiance and reading.
These are all my half-finished books but I’m currently finishing up “Everelle’s Quest” by Roda (Hilenski Grubb)! Promised her I would finish it this time! I really don’t know how people can complain about being holed up at home–I really love it.
. Plus not having to bother with makeup or getting dressed is so nice! (Don’t get me wrong, I do miss feeling girly some days!)
The only thing that sucks is not being able to see mom. But I speak to her almost every day. I wish we could get her to use a smart phone so we could video chat with her. Maybe I’ll bother John on his phone so we can “see” her.
We had a low-key 4th of July. Not going to lie: that day, I was feeling a little melancholy. It would have been Gramma’s 91st birthday. I still wish I could see her 🙁 .
Eenan stayed at his dad’s so we didn’t get to spend time with him, but I did speak to him on the phone. I know he’s 20-years-old and he’s doing his own thing, but I miss my boy LOL. The rest of the kiddos were here but not everyone was in the mood for Independence Day. Jorgie brought Jenn over but it was way too early and then she couldn’t end up staying. We weren’t doing our BBQ or festivities till night time. One of the positive things that happened was that I woke up and Alaethia had cleaned up the whole house and done dishes…BUT because she wanted to spend time with Yezleen. That girl DOES NOT understand self-isolation or social distancing 🙄 . But she does love her friends and I love them and their momma’s so I’m ok with it.
Thankfully Jaylen and Emily went to purchase the fireworks and stuff for bacon-wrapped hot dogs. Jorge was out of work early and when I told him about BBQ’ing he said, “It’s hot AF outside” so that was that :roll:. I made them in the oven instead. When it got dark Jaylen set up the fireworks and s’mores tables. I went out and set up our tiny clay s’mores pot.
Jorgie and Justin ended up asleep and playing video games, respectively. It was just Jorge, Jules, Jaylen and Emily outside.
I was also sad that I didn’t get to celebrate with Mom, John and Dimitri. Plus, it dawned on me (and of course Jorge had to twist the emotional dagger) that my kids are growing up and aren’t always going to be in the mood to have family holidays how we used to. Boo. I don’t like it. They should always want to have family time 😥 !
Anyway! The girls and Julien have taken over my room as I’ve been typing this up and I’m sure they’re going to knock over my clean laundry.