Category: Brudder

Feeling super adulty today. I didn’t sleep in and I did most of the laundry yesterday, which I usually do on Sundays and am killing myself at 12am when there’s still shit to be dried. Anyway! So I only have a couple of loads of towels to wash and then I’m done with that. I also filed my taxes–hell yeahhh! I remember waiting till the last minute last year and then bitching when my refund took forever LOL. I’ve got bills to pay this year so, I’m on pins and needles waiting for that money.

Since my last post: I’m liking my job. Love the pay (even though taxes, retirement and health insurances KILL ME), love that I have my own area (cubicle–my first job where I’m posted up in a cubicle!) and I get to read at my desk during lunch. My co-workers are all awesome, but I only get to see 2 of them every 2 weeks. How do I explain it? Like, they’re scheduled for 2 weeks in a row and then they telework for 4 weeks or some crap like that. Luckies. But I recently started teleworking once a week, which is nice, but this past week was a disaster. The internet kept crapping out, I deleted a file from our SharePoint like a dumbass that I couldn’t retrieve and then I had to go in halfway through the day because a shipment of supplies was being delivered *face palm*. My boss didn’t reply to my texts about going in because he was in a meeting and I didn’t want to end up HAVING to go in and being in a hurry, so I panicked and went in. He sees me in the office and says, “What are you doing here??” *face palm #2* But it was still a good day.

I met one of my female co-workers for the first time this week and I just love her. We are both girly, love pink and plants. And have tons in common! She even gave me cuttings from her beautiful Golden Pothos!

As for Jorge and I…we decided around…December? that we would see how things would go between us. He did start taking meds for his mental health issues (but forgets to sometimes and then we both can’t handle it) and he did see a psychiatrist like I suggested (but then stopped going). Most of the time he’s the “old, OLD Jorge”–the Jorge that was always completely infatuated with me and just loved spending time with me. But sometimes, like lately, the “bad, old Jorge” makes an appearance and I can’t deal. It brings back too many bad memories. I’ve decided that this year I’m working on my inner peace and dealing with his (or anyone’s) bullshit ain’t for me. Not doing that anymore. It’s taking a lot of motivation that I’m struggling to find, but I’m working on my goals this year.

My kiddos are doing fine, even though Eenan doesn’t come over as often as he used to, but we do video chat. Jaylen, Alaethia and Emmos are here the majority of the month, but still visit their dad (who is, amazingly, buying his own house after all these years). I’m still renting my same house, but hoping that’ll change in the future. So much of my money gone to waste on rent, but at least we have a roof over our heads.

Dimitri (John’s baby) turned 2 on January 30th.

Alaethia turned 14 last month and Emily turns 12 this month–crazy!!

The girls have recently gotten really into working out; I hope they continue long enough so that I can join them. I’m telling you–that damn motivation is hard to find! I’ve unsuccessfully started and re-started Keto. I messed up this weekend, again. But I NEED to get on the ball. I’m holding steady at 142-145. FML!!!

I’d rather read (“Luster” by Raven Leilani, “When No One is Watching” by Alyssa Cole are my most recent finished reads) than go for a walk, but I did yesterday with the girls. It was nice taking Jack Jack with us (oh, Jack is my Shih Tzu that Martha gave us at the end of January <3 !).

I don’t think I wrote about it, but around September/October, mom started having really bad pains in her back and started losing mobility in her legs due to the pain. She had about 3 falls–with the last one being so bad that I asked Aunt Nora for help with getting her into a nursing home. It was a good thing I showed up after work that day, because after Linda left, Mom decided to go to the kitchen for lunch and fell and stayed there all those hours till I showed up. I didn’t have a key to John’s apartment so I had to call the ambulance and ask John to please hurry. He got there before the ambulance did, thank goodness. It was heartbreaking to see her there on the floor when we barged in but we didn’t want to move her. The EMT’s did and she was in so much pain. Turned out that she had several old fractures and the newest one was causing the intense pain. She decided on her own after that that she did want to be in a nursing home. It was a relief. I thought she would become more depressed, but she’s got some awesome neighbors and roommate and nurses. Her roommate, Sonia, and her very good friend, Bill, spend time with mom and have actually gotten her to go out and play bingo and get her nails done. I’m so happy she’s happy. I have to get a Covid test done every 2 weeks to ensure that I’m negative and to be able to visit her, but it’s worth it to see her.

The girls (my friends) and I had been having weekly Girl’s Nights, but because Covid is once again on the rise, we’ve kind of halted. Mary, from Quinta Mazatlan, passed away due to Covid. It was a shock. Duvin, my old co-worker from TABC, passed away from a heart attack. It’s just so sad. Javi is also very sick. He’s back in Austin with Dinah. He hasn’t replied to messages or tagged me in cat posts on Facebook like he used to, so that worries me also. I know his condition is very grave, but we’re all hoping for a miracle.

Ok, going to make sure these girls get the dishes in the dishwasher before I start the foods for Superbowl. Go Tom Brady! I mean, Buccaneers!!

I am so mad at myself. And this happened to me because of me, which is the most frustrating part. I can’t even blame anyone else!

The one thing I feared happening, happened. I lost my damn phone. It was a beautiful, holographic Samsung Note 10 with a cute case and glittery Pop Socket. All my photos!! My eBooks!! My memes!!

I’m most devastated about my photos. And my darn memory card. I have never lost a phone in my life. And all because I went somewhere when I should have stayed home. I even had a FEELING I should stay home. Why don’t I ever listen to instincts??

It all started Monday, Labor Day. I slept in a little and was going to spend the day cleaning and watching Season 3 of 90 Day Fiancé: Where Are They Now? But first, I made French toast for the kiddos.

I started laundry and ate 2 pieces of French toast. Yes, I had carbs–you would have, too. These slices of bread had BERRIES in them. Then I get a message from Mel around 1pm asking if I wanted to meet her and her friend Edith at Yardhouse. I was feeling incredibly lazy, comfy and I hadn’t even showered, but she said we could meet at 3pm. I got ready in a hurry and met her at her house and we took off together to Yardhouse.

We had a good time catching up and gossiping and talking about our lives and our plans. Then we got to talking with Edith when she arrived. We had drinks, and shots and more drinks. Then we ended up at the beach on a Monday evening when I have work the next day [insert facepalm emoji here]. It was around this time that I thought, Shit. I should have stayed home.

We laughed, we drank some more, we had fun, I somehow fell and scraped my knee with sand and then we head home around 1am. (Neither of us were driving, by the way.) I hear my phone so I answer Jorge’s text, who is quite obviously livid by this point. I have my phone in my lap and when we arrive at Mel’s truck she says, “Don’t forget your phone.” And I’m feeling around my lap and the floor and it’s GONE. Just gone. I had literally just texted Jorge 15 minutes prior. We looked and felt around and then we gave up. I couldn’t believe it was missing. Mel suggested that maybe it was on my lap but I dropped it in the parking lot. But I knew it had to be in the truck. I didn’t hear anything fall.

I get home, Jorge is pissed, naturally, and I strip down and shower because I have sand everywhere. We get into a quick fight and we both have to work in the morning so he takes his usual spot on the sofa and I go to bed. I feel like I went to sleep and woke up in 30 minutes. I feel like absolute shit and then I remember my poor phone is missing. I don’t know if it was the panic and sadness of losing my phone, or the amount of alcohol I had the night before or if it was my anxiety (or all of the above) but I was chihuahua-shaky all day with heart palpitations. It was awful.

Still, I held out hope all day that Edith would find my phone in the truck somewhere. I call it several times and it’s already dead and it hasn’t been charged so maybe someone didn’t pick it up in the parking lot. When I get the text from Mel that, nope, it’s nowhere to be found in the truck, I want to cry. I ask my boss if I can leave early so I can check if we dropped it in the parking lot of the mall (I knew it was a long shot), where we’d left Mel’s truck before leaving to the island with Edith. He lets me (he’s a saint) and I leave and arrive at the parking lot. I walk, in tall-ass heels, a flowy dress in the wind and with a badly bruised knee (my bad knee, to top it off), throughout the parking lot, checking under cars in 100 degree weather and nothing. Not even little shards of glass where someone may have run it over (I could have at least gotten my memory card out 🙁 ). I even go to each of the restaurants in the area and ask if anyone found a phone and nothing. I check with the mall’s lost and found. Nothing.

I am, once again, swearing off alcohol. I can’t believe I was so stupid!

The next day comes and as I’m leaving to work in the morning I notice my stupid back passenger tire is going flat. Great. All I need. My boss and one of the Sergeants are having a brief meeting and I told them about the tire. They both said they saw it and I should take care of it now. So I go to the tire shop and I’m told both back tires are BAD; there’s hardly any tread left. So how much does this cost? A whopping $650. No phone for me this week!

Since I’ve grounded myself the only outings I’ve had this week are work, of course, going to Goodwill during lunch on Friday to purchase some books and then Dee’s little girl’s birthday party at Xtreme Jump on Friday evening. Mel and I met there with our girls and their friends. I had already gotten to 137.9 lbs. from the stress of the week, but I’m sure I gained 2 lbs back from having flaming hots with cheese and chili. It was so good, though. No regrets. But then Mel and I started talking about our night out at the beach and we started talking about OMG what if we get the Rona?? Our throats were feeling itchy and my nose was running. So I got home and made some tea and took my vitamins.

By the next morning, I was better, thank God.

Visited mom and John today (wearing a mask, social distancing and Germ-x’ing, just in case) and ate lunch with them. On the way to Whataburger, away from Mom, John and I talked about our current mental health. It’s crazy how similar we are.

So that’s where I’m at right now. Using my iPad and Messenger for communication. Yes, I feel sorry for myself and yes, I’m owning my mistakes. Thank goodness for upping my anti-depressant/anxiety meds dosage last month, or else I would have been a basket case. I’ve been pretty calm, all things considered, and I’ve only cried twice! So that’s some progress. Been reading (finished “Where the Crawdads Sing” that Sally gifted me on my birthday and finally finished “Big Little Lies”. Just started “13 Reasons Why”) and still watching 90-Day Fiancé: Where Are They Now? Currently watching the “Tell All” of Season 3. These couples are probably my favorite cause they’re so scandalous! They make me feel normal 😆 . Anyway. Here’s hoping my next post will be more positive.

We truly have a lot to be thankful for this year. I know it’s been a disastrous year for many of our beloved famous figures–but personally, it felt like an easier year than last year, for some reason, and I’m thankful for our health and being together.

I’m also thankful that on November 17th, I got to finally meet Tia Tere and her daughter, my cousin, Anna. Tia Tere is the aunt everyone would say I resembled in her younger years 🙂 .

We all met at Velma’s house. We shared anecdotes and family history (Lipan Apache was confirmed in Velma’s Ancestry.com genealogy! I want to do mine!) and when I told everyone about trying to reach out to my Grandfather back-in-the-day I learned that he was actually a family friend (Velma’s mom and dad’s compadre)! So that was interesting to say the least. We had a wonderful time, laughing and eating. Velma’s always such a wonderful host 🙂 .

They opened the Performing Arts Center on the 18th and we got to take a tour and hear the acoustics. It’s pretty state-of-the-art and just impressive!

November 18th is also Jorge and my “All-Together” anniversary, and to keep tradition with previous years, we had lunch together at Kumori!

Neither Jorge nor I were thrilled with that photo, so it didn’t make it onto social media 😆 !
I had to work at the Food Park the next evening at Unplugged (and had to pick kids up in between), so I didn’t get to go to the all-day mini-reunion the family was having 🙁 . Tia Tere visited Gramma. I’m so sad I wasn’t there to see it for myself. The sisters hadn’t seen each other in years!

I made myself feel a little better about not being able to meet more family by totally pigging out on these pork belly Kimchi fries from one of my favorite food trucks, Nuri Food Truck!

I learned the next day that at the mini-reunion at Gramma’s, mom decided to tell my life story (even the embarrassing and depressing parts) to my “new” relatives. Without my consent or knowledge. I couldn’t believe her. Let’s just say Linda said everyone was shifting uncomfortably and looking off into space. I asked Linda why she nor anyone stopped her and she said, “It was her time to shine!” 😆 Oh geez!!

Anyway. I showed my face at the next evening’s reunion with Aunt Nora and Linda. And apologized to my tia and cousins for having to endure my mother’s rambling on. I got to meet another cousin and her little girl, which was pretty damn cool :).

The next morning, Sunday, I hung out with my Littles. They don’t require as much attention as they used to, but they still do love to follow Mom around, even if it’s just to sit in my company. Seeing as how I also have teenagers who spend most of their time playing video games, football or asleep, I’m going to let Emily, Alaethia and Jules follow me around as long as they want. There will come a day when I’ll miss them doing so!

Jorge and I bought some pork belly from Gabriel, our friend that owns Nuri, so that I could make Jorge some kimchi fries while Nuri was on Thanksgiving break. Even though it wasn’t exactly like Nuri’s, I’ve gotta admit: it was tasty:

So, feeling as guilty as I did after consuming what’s seemingly an entire PIG the month of November (we LOVE Nuri!), Jorge and I decided to have lunch at Gumbo’s for something light. I ordered my usual: Island Salad. It’s like the most scrumptuous dessert!

Buuuuut…I also had broccoli soup in a bread bowl. Aye.

It was…as warm, delicious and comforting as it looks! My stomach wasn’t too happy with the cream (as I’ve gotten older I’ve realized I’m INCREDIBLY lactose intolerant!! Why meee?! Why cheeese??), but man, was it worth it!!

The kiddos had been with Mario that week up until Wednesday, and this year all 7 kids would be with us till 4pm, since Maggie wanted them at that time. So I picked up my babes and we had a small PokeHunting sesh since they’d just started with the new tracking system.

This was also the day John moved out (and we haven’t really seen him since) so he was missing from the Thanksgiving festivities. Dina, Briana and the kids came down, including Nick’s friend Tony. He was such a polite young man!

As soon as they arrived, we started with the preparations for the feast.

While the turkey baked, we visited Gramma.

I didn’t get a proper photo of the spread since we were cutting it close before the kids had to go 🙁 . But Alaethia said grace, and the food was delicious!

(Jorge didn’t get into any photos!!)

The Holidays don’t usually pass without some kind of hiccup, and there was a small bit of drama but it didn’t last long, thank God.

The kiddos left with their other families around 4-5ish so the adults kind of just relaxed watching a marathon of “Forensic Files”. Jorge and I did our Christmas shopping for the kids from the couch (OMG, got SUCH good deals!) and literally just about finished shopping for the big boys that same day!

I snuck out early the next morning, by myself, to do some minimal Black Friday shopping at HEB Plus. There were a few things I absolutely couldn’t pass up for the kids, so I *had* to go. Happy to report that everyone survived! HEB Plus was pretty straightforward with their rules (they gave you a map, a circular and the rules as you arrived) and let you know they weren’t taking shit from anyone and would escort you from the store if you caused trouble.

Jorge had to work that day, and Dina went to visit her mom so Briana and I hung out with the kids and then went to the park to meet Lisa and Joyce since the kids were becoming stir-crazy. Later on we all met at Fantasy Land Skate Center. Totally made me miss the kids, but I distracted myself by helping Mia and Maddie stay on their feet.

We got home and of course I had to make the obligatory Turkey Leftovers Salad.

That salad is truly the tastiest! (Darnit. Now I want some…)

I did some grocery shopping the next morning (with my $20 coupons I got from shopping the day before!) and then we kinda lazied around till we went to the Food Park that evening. Had to take Briana to SnoBro Raspas!

We had actually dressed for going to the park and doing a run, but we stayed nearby and went for a walk at Archer instead. Nick and Tony played football and Mia chased fireflies. It was the sweetest!
And then we picked up Whataburger for dinner. So much for our walk!!

But that’s what it’s all about right? Having fun with your loved ones, eating, drinking and being merry?!