Category: Daily

It’s been a while since I’ve written a “real” post but I need to vent a little so, here I am.

We have a project we’re promoting at work since the 2nd session is coming up. Never did I think during that fateful month last year when our boss sat Laura and I down at Starbucks and proposed his idea and I AGREED to do it–that I’d ever have to be ON TV.

FML.

We had an interview last week and I bit all my nails off AND my face broke out days prior. I was so nervous and stressing about it like crazy. I even told John and Jorge that I very much felt like going in and quitting the morning of the interview because I DID NOT want to do it. I was nervous about what I’d say, I had no idea what to wear and I’m so self-conscious about my skin.

Everyone who knows me in person knows what a bitch of a time I have with this adult acne, and being on TV is the LAST thing I want to do. I’d have to wear make-up to cover my blemishes and God knows THAT was going to make me break out even more. I never wear anything other than lipstick, mascara and eyeliner because of this lovely problem.

But I survived. I hated every moment of sitting there and hated seeing the interview even more (OMG, MY BOOBS. And why do I make THAT FACE??), but I survived.

I tried making the best of it, though, even took a photo in front of the set since I hadn’t been there since our 5th grade tour. And I really hoped I’d never have to go back.

Now fast forward to tomorrow, where I have yet ANOTHER interview. FML!!!!

It’s not at the same station, but this one is not just one, it’s TWO interviews, one being in Spanish. I could barely get through the English one!

So instead of getting everything together for tomorrow, or practicing what I’ll say or going for a run, I’m sitting here, blogging and stalling. I should have gone running earlier and I probably should have painted my nails. Ugh. It’s going to be a long day tomorrow, what with the interview, lunch, Emily’s dentist appointment, MY dentist appointment and then the girls’ meet the teacher night. I still have to figure out how to break the news to the girls that they won’t be in the same classes as their BFF’s, Audrey and Maddie. Ugh, makes my stomach flip. I don’t know how they’re going to take it :(.

Alright, I’ll stop stalling.

Wish me luck *gulp*.

No one would ever know from that post that just 2 hours before, my life was changing drastically. At 10am that next morning,  I was served with divorce papers.

Thank you for releasing me from feeling that I was never good enough, from being told monthly that you were being forced to be with me because your mother made you marry me so the family wouldn’t be shamed, from feeling that there was always someone better and that I was the one causing all the misery and the drama, amongst other things. I wouldn’t be where I am if it weren’t for you. The only thing I wish I could take back was the pain my children endured. But we’re all stronger thanks to you.

Day 2 since finding out about Robin Williams’ death. I feel silly, in a way, but I feel that I need to write about it.

I found out as I was looking for the damned Q-tips I can never seem to find at HEB. John sent me a message on Facebook:

Did you hear? Robin Williams died. I’ve got the sads 🙁

I didn’t believe it. I hoped it was a hoax. I searched Google and sure enough, the stories were spreading like wildfire. I choked up and texted Jorge and posted my disbelief to Facebook. We always said it would be a sad, depressing day when Robin Williams or Betty White died. We were in our kitchen when we talked about it a few years ago.

I unloaded the groceries while I simultaneously held my dress down from the wind and read stories and status updates on Facebook.

I got in the truck, turned it on and just cried for a bit before composing myself and driving home.

I’ve never been struck this hard by a celebrity’s death. I’ve been sad upon hearing news of a celeb passing, but never this deep pang of sadness. I don’t know if it was that he died too young, that he took his own life and felt so lonely and like that was the only option. That he was just such a wonderful human and it’s unfair. That I’m PMS’ing. Or that this happened so close to dad’s 1 year anniversary of his passing and the talk of Robin Williams’ alcoholism sparks memories of dad and his problems. Or all of the above. I just can’t seem to shake it :(.

And then I heard “Chandelier” by Sia on the way to work this morning.

May he R.I.P. :*(