Category: Pregnancy

I’m just about done with my lunch (cheesy tuna pasta and green beans–leftovers from dinner). I waited a bit too long to eat and I feel shaky and gross. I hate feeling like this. I dropped Mario off at work this morning since he wants us to pick him up to go to the First Thursday at the Civic Center. On the way to work we stopped at Circle K where he picked up some tacos and a drink (we woke up too late to have breakfast at home) and I got a delicious blueberry muffin and a cappuccino. I’ve been doing really good with my caffeine intake, meaning that I hardly comsume any. Since I’m already experiencing unfortunate constipation (what? It happens to everyone, dammit) at only 14 1/2 weeks gestation I figured coffee would be my best bet at helping things, um, flow better. Sure enough, halfway through the drink, it worked! I need to ask the doctor if drinking coffee to help with BMs is okay to do, since I haven’t really asked anything at all about caffeine. As long as I don’t have to eat prunes or drink Metamucil, I’m A-OK.

The kids just finished their lunch. Eenan’s still picky when it comes to veggies, but Jaylen will eat just about anything. I gave them each 4 pretty good sized pieces of catfish for lunch and Jaylen finished them all. Then he wanted more. There was a small one and some onion rings left on a plate so I told him he could have those and ate just about everything. He really surprises me sometimes. And embarrasses me, too! Like yesterday: I’d given him lunch, a sandwich. Later he had a whole banana and half an our later he had half an orange. An hour after that my dad-in-law gets home and Jaylen asks him if he has any food because I haven’t fed them(!). My dad-in-law, jokingly of course, asks, “Why haven’t you fed this poor child?” My jaw dropped. Little booger. He did the same thing later when my mom-in-law got home. She was making dinner for Big Mario and Jaylen asks, “What are you making? I’m starving. I haven’t eaten.” LOL

When Mario called me during his lunch break we got to talking about what bills we have to pay this paycheck (the car=oh Gawd). I told him, “Oh, and $30 for my graduation things–If I decide to walk”. He said, “Woman, you better go. I already asked for the day.” Darn. I’m seriously debating whether I should go or not. Part of me doesn’t want to go because from what I know, NONE of my friends are going. Knowing the other people in my class, no one else will go either so I’ll be the only dumbass walking for my class. The other part of me wants to go because if I don’t, I’m afraid I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. Just like I regret not taking professional pictures with Mario for our high school graduation–but at least we walked. I also don’t have anything to wear and the way it’s been so far, I won’t find anything nice. I tell you: I’m not pregnant and they have the cutest maternity clothes. I get knocked up, and everything’s ugly or too big. We’re in the valley. Most women aren’t over 5′ 4″ here and they have these jeans where I have to cut a foot off!

Anyway, I don’t know what to do. What would you guys do if you were in my position?

I should finish cleaning up. My desk looks so spiffy now that I’ve filed (yes, filed) all of our paid bills since like, 3 months ago. All I need to do is file the stuff in that plastic box and use that to organize my scrapbooking stuff. I also want to do a little bit of scrapbooking and back everything up that’s on my computer. We’ve been getting these weird prompts and it shuts down randomly sometimes (especially when burning DVDs) so either the power supply, RAM, motherboard or CPU are about to take a crap. Lovely.

And to think we had the chance to buy a LAPTOP for $300. Three hundred dollars. And we were broke. *yanks out hair*

I had the weirdest dream last night. Well, this morning actually. I was already in labor and Mario and I had decided that this time we’d have a Home Birth. We were both trained in everything we needed to do in case complications arose. When it was time to deliver, Mario of course cut the umbillical cord and did everything necessary during a delivery. When he wrapped the baby up in a blanket and put the baby on my chest I noticed it was a boy. I started panicking and said, “Where’s my girl?! What happened to our baby girl??”

In my dream I could feel myself hyperventilating and as Mario tried to calm me down I kept yelling, “There should be another one coming! The doctor said there were two babies and one’s a girl!”

An hour passed and nothing. No baby. Not even the afterbirth appeared after having the baby boy. We were getting ready to go to the hospital when I “woke up” from that dream in the dream and started telling Mario about it. We were walking with a stroller in tow downtown in McAllen. Then an old classmate from Middle School (Daisy) passed by us with a stroller and asked what had happened. And then I woke up.

I felt strange when I woke up–almost disappointed and then guilty for feeling disappointed. I kept thinking, “What if this baby is a boy and all this time I’ve felt it in my gut that it’s a girl?” I thought I was prepared and fine with the idea of having another son if this wasn’t a baby girl. At the same time, I feel like my maternal instincts are failing me since I’m almost certain this baby’s a girl. Then panic set in and I thought, “We haven’t even thought of a decent boy name!”

Maybe I’m subconciously preparing myself just in case this is a boy since my 15 week appointment is next Wednesday. This is the appointment where they may just tell me the baby’s gender. I’m also nervous because they’ll be doing the AFP bloodwork and that’s the point with Jaylen’s pregnancy when everything started going wrong. I was hoping for a girl last time and once I found out I would possibly loose Jaylen due to a chromosome defect I immediately started praying for a healthy baby and felt horrible for wishing for a certain gender–I didn’t care if it was a girl or a boy anymore. I’ve constantly prayed that this baby be healthy, no matter what sex it is because I don’t want history to repeat itself.

I know every pregnancy is different, but I’m so scared that they’re going to say that the AFP came back abnormal like last time. I’m not having an amniocentesis this time, no matter what the results are. But at the same time, I’m nervous that something could possibly go wrong. It’s so nerve wracking. I’m probably reading too much into it, but I’m a worrier at heart.

We’ll see. I’m nervously awaiting next week’s appointment. In the meantime, Mario and I better start agreeing on a boy name we both like, just in case ;).

I have the worst sinus headache. Even worse than the last one that lasted 3-4 days. It started last night and my God, I couldn’t even walk around this morning. Every step made my head throb. I hope it’s not a sinus infection; a sinus headache is bad enough. I have a list of OTC medicines I can take and Tylenol Sinus is one of them. Of course, I don’t have Tylenol Sinus because I’ve never had sinus trouble to where I have to take medication. I hope the in-laws have some. I can’t stand this!

I thought having migraines while pregnant was bad–sinus headaches could be a little worse.

I got the invitations for Eenan’s party yesterday and also got some chips for the goody bags. I ordered the cake, too. Now all we need are the goody bags and the rest of the candy. Mary and I will be going to Mexico this weekend to get the rest of the candy (I can get a few that I’ve been craving myself :)). I’m just afraid of all the violence over there.

My dad-in-law started working on the taping and floating in the rooms yesterday. I helped a little (there’s something therapeutic about slopping squishy stuff on your walls then scraping the excess off) then went to run errands. I’m so happy with the progress in the room. I wish it were already done since I’m impatient like that, but for only working on it a few times a week they’re going pretty fast. Mario got out of work early yesterday and worked on a wall, but got mad once a huge piece of sheetrock almost squashed him.

OK, I can’t take it anymore. I was hoping sitting up would help with the headache but I’m feeling worse. Sorry I haven’t gotten back to anyone–I will as soon as I’m feeling better and have all of Eenan’s party things in order.