Kill Me Now

I hate coming to the doctor’s. I shouldn’t even be here right now. All I’m here for is my results, which they should have given me over the phone since last Wednesday. They either left me on hold for decades or the doctor was busy.

God. There’s a kid hacking up a lung right next to me. Couldn’t pick anywhere else to sit.

Anyway. From what the nurse did tell me, I seem to be ok. My cholesterol was elevated a little, but other than that, I was “fine,” even from the diabetes. I would like to know what that means. Am I fine as in I don’t need meds or glucose, or fine as in I don’t have diabetes?

Grr. I’m never getting called in. Ok. I moved. Hope that wasn’t too rude. I just got over the worst cold and don’t need to feel like that again, kthx.

*sigh* I want to read but I was nodding off before I started writing this. Like, literally NODDING OFF…my head flung forward and everything. How embarrassing.

All because I didn’t fall asleep till midnight. I had laundry and dishes to do (yes, on Mother’s Day…how shitty is that?) so I didn’t get into bed till 11pm and my lovely daughter didn’t let me fall asleep till midnight. She wouldn’t let me cuddle her or rock her to sleep. She was pushing me away like a cat who knew it was about to be dunked into water. The boys loved to cuddle. But not her. She’s an independent crib baby whom I force to sleep with me because I miss her.

She’s so dang intelligent, it’s amazing. She’s already speaking in long phrases and she’s only 15 months old. And she says words like ‘disgusting’ only she says ‘digutting’. Like yesterday when I didn’t want to roll out of bed and she needed a diaper change…she took it off, placed it near my head and said ‘Digutting’.

My thumbs are about to fall off from typing this on my Centro. Bye.

(Edit) 50 years later…I am officially the 2nd to the last person here. This lady got here after me and I bet they’ll call her first. Seriously, they already called all the preggos in, even the ones who got here much after me. I’m so pissed.

It’s Because I’m So Sweet

I caught yet another cold which I thought was brought on by getting soaked putting groceries in the car at Walmart on Saturday. As crappy as I felt I went to work because I knew my boss was taking turns with relatives and taking care of her mother, who’d recently been in the hospital. She was off every other day and I’d just caught up with all our work (we’d been so behind thanks to our snail-paced internet) so I didn’t want to get swamped again.

I asked John to accompany me to the mall to return a blouse and buy some jeans. He said okay; he wanted to check out video games anyway. We’re walking around looking for the store (which they moved across town, thank you) and he tells me he’s starving. I wasn’t sure if I was hungry or not, but I knew for sure I needed a seat because I was feeling dizzy and my heart was racing like it had been for the past two weeks. Elvira kept telling me, “You need to get yourself checked, girl. That’s not right.” She’d actually been telling me about a month already but I was in denial. I pinned my lightheadedness, racing heart and jitteryness to the 6 1/2 hours between my breakfast and lunch.

So we’re standing in line at Quizno’s, where John wanted to get a sandwich, and as I’m trying to figure out what I want I feel like the room’s spinning. He looks over at me and says, “You don’t look good, you’re swaying. Eat something.” Again, I blamed it on my terrible sinuses and headache, but I listened and had some broccoli soup and a Sobe drink. We sat talking for a while and I began to feel better. We stopped by the other store, I found a blouse, and we rushed home because I needed to make dinner. By the time I was done with everything I was exhausted and felt awful again. My head hurt, my heart was racing again, I couldn’t breathe because my nose was so stuffed and my throat felt like it was on fire. I started wondering if maybe I’d caught Strep. I was about to get up to take a shower when my mom said, “Don’t go to work! Stay home and get better!” I said, “No, I have to go.” Mario passes by and tells me, “Don’t go in.” And after feeling like a turtle on it’s back trying to get up to shower, I realized they were right, I was too sick. They convinced me to go to the doctor the next morning, so I got into bed and woke up early to shower.

The boys had slept over at Mary’s, Mom was staying with Alaethia, and Mario was working so I went on my own. When I’m in the vitals room they ask what my symptoms are and I told them about my cold and asked if I could be screened for diabetes. They were a bit shocked and asked why. I told them how I’d been feeling awful for the past two weeks and I felt like I might have diabetes. Then I weighed myself: 128.7. Officially THE MOST I’ve ever weighed in my life.

When the nurse practitioner checks me she says my throat’s inflamed (but not Strep), I have a chest infection and Sinusitis. She prescribed some meds for the Sinusitis (which I just realized I need to take again), Zithromax for the infection and a steroid. Then she sent a nurse in to poke my finger to check my blood sugars. After 10 minutes I could hear a commotion outside; they were in disbelief that the reading was mine. My sugar was at 203, 2 hours after I’d eaten breakfast. The nurse walks in, her expression serious, and says, “Yajaira! I can’t believe it. You’re diabetic! I’m so sorry.” I tell her, “It’s okay. I kind of expected it. Not this soon, but I did.”

She gives me menus and pamphlets for my new diet. Everything must now be sugar free and diet and no sweets other than the ones in the menus, most of which are fruits. She wanted me to go in today while fasting to do labwork and get that glucose test done where you drink a really sweet punch; usually the one one when you’re pregnant. I said fine. She said we’d try and get me back on track by just doing my diet and exercising, but she was afraid I might at least need to be on a pill.

I went to the pharmacy to get my meds for my Sinusitis and everything and started texting, calling and messaging everyone to let them know. It hadn’t hit me until then, really. I got a little teary-eyed for a little bit, but pretended it was because I’d been coughing up a lung. It was so weird having to go back to Dollar General to exchange the cough drops I’d just bought that morning because they weren’t sugar free.

I get home and tell Mom and she’s in shock. She kind of just stood there staring at me for a little while, like she couldn’t tell if it was actually me standing before her. And then I started with my diet. Edith, the nurse practitioner was right, she said it was going to feel like I was eating all day because I’d be eating every 3 hours: 6, 9, noon, 3, 6pm and 9pm. I called my boss to let her know I wouldn’t be in on Friday either due to my labs and told her about my ordeal. She said we’d even move my lunch hour half an hour earlier so I’d stay on my 3-hour diet. I’m so glad she’s so understanding.

Although I felt like total crap from the infection and Sinusitis, Eenan and I both had dentist appointments. I got the boys out of school early and then Eenan and I went. We thought he’d need a crown, but he just got that same filling redone and another 2. I got two molars on top filled that really needed it, plus a small one between two teeth on top. I still have two more to get filled but I didn’t want to spend too much with all the medications I’d be needing for the diabetes. I’m so proud of Eenan; he did much better than I thought he would. He only screamed once when they injected the Novocaine. Shoot, I almost screamed, too.

Mario and I went to Jorge and Maggie’s that night to chill out. We spent some time laughing outside and then on Myspace while Joe cut Mario’s hair Chuck Liddell-style (from UFC). We got home pretty damn late and we slept about 5 hours. Not even the shower at 7:45am helped. We got to the Dr.’s office and they drew blood and I drank that gross drink immediately afterwards. Then we waited an hour. Mario forgot something to entertain himself with so we just read forwards on my Centro and then we sort of took a nap until it was time to get my results.

We went to the back to get my results: 222. I am officially diabetic. My lab results won’t be in till at least Tuesday, but those results will state what Type of diabetes I have and if I’ll be using pills or insulin. I asked if there was any chance of just stabilizing my glucose with just diet and exercise and Dr. Edith said no, I’d need pills at least. Blah. Totally not what I wanted to hear.

We went to the pharmacy to pick up my glucometer and strips and all that. It seemed surreal. As we stood at the counter getting counseled Mario jokes, “I didn’t think we’d be doing this till we were old.” That’s so true. I was hoping I wouldn’t start having symptoms till I was at least 40!

They taught me how to use the machine and off we were with my little pack, which I’ll have to carry with me from now on. I’ll have to check myself right when I wake up and 2 hours after I eat, which’ll be at work.

We ran some errands for Mary with Aly watching The Little Mermaid in her carseat and then stopped by Dollar General so I could buy some snacks, like graham crackers and Rice Crispies cereal. Mario cruelly bought some Oreo Cakesters and he and the boys ate them in front of me at Mary’s. I wanted to hit something. But I got over it. Although I do want them all to follow my menus to keep them healthy for the future, I can’t rip everything away from them =\.

I followed my menu for dinner and oh my gosh, I couldn’t finish the amount of food. The three main meals are actually really big meals–well, to me anyway. My “fruit” consisted of a third of a whole melon! I still need to ask my doc about certain foods; I’m confused about how much sugar I can actually have, because my 8 animal crackers have 7g of sugar. I wonder if that goes for everything else? As long as I follow the serving size and amount of sugar, I can eat it?

I took me three tries (and pokes) to get enough blood for a good reading on my machine. I was disappointed to find out it was still at 170 :(. I don’t want to have problems like this for the rest of my life :(. They called me a “Rare case” at the doctor’s office today. I’m, so far, one of the youngest females to develop diabetes.

I always thought I’d shrivel up and die if I got diabetes, but I’m not shriveled or dead! I’m okay. And I’m going to eat well and exercise. And hopefully the silver lining will be that I’ll lose some weight in the next coming months.

Technology Bites Sometimes

What good is technology if it’s only going to mess up and make you feel like you’ll curl up and die? My brand-new hotpink iPod (birthday present from Mario!) froze and lost my music last night. Stayed up downloading songs till midnight for NOTHING. Then today, after almost having a coronary trying to figure out how to split up the bills, I decided to back-up the 500+ pictures I’d been taking with my Centro–and the damn micro SD card FRIED. Nothing’ll read it at all; I’m so depressed. I had all these cute pictures of the kids that I’d take out of the blue when I didn’t have my Kodak with me and now they’re GONE.

At least I figured out how to use my ringer-maker for the Centro *sigh*.

On a lighter note, I was a spoiled, appreciated administrative professional this week. The school gave us all a beautiful plant arrangement (which I left at work! Oh no, I hope it’s still alive when I go back on Monday!!), Mrs. V. gave me an awesome goodie basket, our administrators took us out to eat on Wednesday at Remington at the Embassy Suites (where Vero found a fingernail in her chicken salad, but other than that it was fab!), and today the dance teacher gave us earrings, Mrs. R. gave us a beaded bracelet and earring set, they brought us McDonald’s and Pan Dulce, the diagnostician gave us Ferrero Rocher Chocolates and a huge Symphony bar and Mrs. V. let me leave for 2 hours to make it to the boys’ awards assembly! It was awesome. They got their awards and danced afterwards to the Cha-Cha Slide and the Chicken Dance. I’m so glad my boss is so understanding and totally about parenting. She’s seriously such a great person :).

We had probably the most awesome Pep Rally I’ve ever been to in my life. The teachers had been planning this huge event for the kids, where THEY’D be preforming. Our kiddos (not all, but most) aren’t too enthusiastic about stuff like Pep Rallies, but they were tearing themselves apart with laughter and excitement! Shoot, I was, too! They took video, which I hope they’ll add to the Video Yearbook. It was just too damn awesome.

We’d been swamped with work the past week and I’m actually glad that I made up an extra hour and a half after work (for the 2 hours I’d spent at the assembly) because I got to catch up with all my work. I dread the coming weeks; the internet’s so slow that it stalls everything. Especially during advisory period. Ugh. I hate to even think of it!

Anyway. Alaethia’s talking so much more now! She turned 15 months yesterday. She learned how to say Bimpa properly (before she’d say Bia). And she says the boys’ names clearly and has learned tons of other things. And she calls Mario “Babe”, probably from hearing me all the time LOL. She’s just so smart. She won’t sit down anymore; she’s like a tornado these days. I’m still waiting for her to sleep completely through the night, but I’m thinking it’ll be another 9 months before that happens (when she turns 2 LOL).

Gosh, I’m tired. I think Eenan finally passed out. He’s grounded for “excessive talking” at school and for kicking Jaylen in the balls yesterday, so he didn’t get to sleep over at his Nana’s. He’d been asking me every 5 minutes if he could “sleep over now,” but he hasn’t bothered me in about 10 minutes so he must be asleep. That, or he forgot.

Okay. I’m too tired. I have tons of stuff to do tomorrow but I don’t want to go anywhere. Can you believe the gas?! That’s fucking ridiculous. Gas is $3.44 over here right now, and they’re expecting to rise 20 cents this weekend. Shit. I should have gotten gas tonight!