To Be, or Not to Be?

I’m sort of freaking out guys.

I didn’t sleep much last night (in fact, I should be sleeping right now instead of blogging) because our darn dog, Rocko, decided to bark all night long and rile up the neighbors’ dogs who also barked right along with him. I also felt these horrible cramps, only I don’t know if it was upset stomach cramps or if they were contractions. I’ve forgotten what contractions feel like (that’s why we end up having more than one kid–God wipes our memory free like that little device they use on Men in Black) so I’m not sure what’s going on. As I’m sitting here I’m feeling lots of pressure in my lower abdomen and I feel it even more when I’m lying down.

And now for a little TMI Yesterday, when I actually got so tired that I had to lay down and tried to sleep in the afternoon I felt like something trickled out but when I checked (about half an hour later after I woke up) there wasn’t anything there. My water’s never broken at home (with Eenan they popped it for me at the hospital and with Jaylen it broke at the hospital right before they administered the epidural) so I have no idea what the start of that feels like. I’m a little nervous since Mary said Mario came a month early since she kept “dripping” water all day long. *gulp* End of TMI

When I dropped Jaylen off this morning, I had my daily chat as I usually do with his teachers. They asked how I was doing and I told them about being almost 2 cn. dilated. Their eyes get wide and say, “Miss! Shouldn’t you be lying down right now?!” and that’s the same thing Ricky, Big Mario’s friend, said yesterday. I wish I could just be lying down, but I’ve got children to drop off and pick up. I’m getting a little apprehensive about the whole drop off/pick up situation as I get closer to delivering. I know Mario will be here for about 3-4 days and Mary’s going to take a week off, but I can’t help but worry a little. I’m going to feel so…weird not having control over everyday things like that.

I’m also worried about the cooking! I know Mary will probably feed us for a few days, but what do I do after that? After the novelty of taking care of New Mom wears off and I have to do everything I usually do, only now I’ll have a newborn attatched to my bosom.

It does sort of excite me in a strange way. I don’t want to feel stressed, and I know I will in some cases, but I wonder how our lives will change now that we’re going to be 5 and not 4. Jaylen’s already talking about how we’ll have to get a new chair for the kitchen table and how it will go at the end so she can be “next to” all of us. How will it be now that I’ll have 3 babies with me while I grocery shop. I think it’ll be good for the boys though. They want to feel responsible and have both promised me they’re going to be the best helpers when Alaethia’s born. Let’s see if they keep that promise LOL.

I can’t wait to meet this little lady (and see who she resembles more!). I just hope she waits till at least 6pm on Sunday!