Category: Bitching

*puts paper bag over her head*

We went and saw Gramma as planned on Sunday. Mom didn’t end up going to work so she went with us. We saw Aunt Nora and Justin there. Aunt Nora took Gramma a TV and shelf :). We sat with her and talked, and then they brought her lunch so I fed her. As I fed her, I thought, “I could do this. I could feed little old people.” I’ve always wanted to do something in the medical field, but I’m not sure what. But then I thought…”Ok, maybe I’m just thinking this because I’m feeding my own Gramma and she’s cute.” LOL I don’t know if I could feed other people. And Gramma’s so pleasant…I used to volunteer at a nursing home (back in 7th grade) and some elderly people are a bit grumpy. All the nurses kept telling us how sweet Gramma is…aww

When we got into the car we noticed ants crawling all over the seats and the center console. We’d taken honey buns in the car with us and left the wrappers there and they were all over the place. We got rid of as many as we could…but I still got bitten on my butt . When we got home, Mario figured out they were coming from the fender of the car. We had the car parked wayyy on the other side of the yard and there’s tons of ants over there. They messed up the alarm–it kept going off by itself in the wee hours of the morning. I’m afraid to know what other electrical wires they’ve screwed up .

When we got home, Mom, Jaylen, Mary and I went to the church’s Jamaica…which is like this fair-type thing. Eenan stayed home with Mario. It was just down the street, so we walked there. It was OK. I was pretty damn disappointed that we didn’t win a cake at the cake walk . But we did have some nachos, a pineapple soda and a smoked turkey leg…which wasn’t as good as the ones we’ve had from H-E-B, but it was good anyway. We didn’t play many games since most of the prizes were toys…and we’re trying to get rid of toys so it didn’t seem like a good idea LOL.

Yesterday wasn’t too exciting. I actually can’t remember what we did besides the usual. I do remember Mom falling down at night and John frantically calling me to get over there. She was hyperventilating…that’s how scared she got. But she’s OK…a little sore, but OK. She scared the crap out of us though.

Today, we dropped Eenan off at school and Mario, Jaylen and I took a nap when we got home. Then I made rice and sausage for lunch, while Mario made brownies for dessert. I ate a whole row of brownies by myself! They weren’t huge brownies…but still. I just stuffed my face. Mario even called me his lil’ heffer–he’s so romantic . And then I wonder how I’m back to 120 . Bye bye 112 lbs. I think it’s because I watched “The Biggest Loser” on NBC today…or because I downloaded and have watched all the eps of “America’s Next Top Model” (we don’t get UPN)…but I’m feeling…ugly. Yes, yes, woe is me. But yeah…I’m tired of this here roll *points to belly* and I’m tired of my face breaking out. I don’t know WHAT I’ve been doing that’s making my face go crazy, but it is, and it looks so bad. I’ve been waking up with zits and I have scars from others. All this in less than two weeks. I need to start using that scar-diminishing cream I got from Mexico…it worked wonders with the scar on my chin last time. Why I’m sharing this with the internet, I don’t know…

Other than feeling like crap about myself all day, we went to a few lil’ stores around here to get some things…we finally went to Joy Dollar. I must go back when I have more cash…I love these kitchen decorations they have. I got one…and I already have two. I may get two more. But then I’m trying to minimize the amount of stuff I already have. Something else on my to-do list…finish cleaning this place up and start getting things bagged up for the garage sale. If all goes well, we should have it on Nov. 5th and 6th.

OK…it’s 12am…I should get to bed or I’ll be napping during the day again tomorrow.

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Feelin’ Poor :(

Just finished eating a hot ham and cheese sandwich, Salsa Verde Doritos & Tostitos cheese, and an Apple Fanta soda…that’ll hit the spot :). Went grocery shopping for the rest of the stuff we needed this morning and actually got some munchies (a.k.a. junk food)…I’m sure I’ll regret this at the end of the week when I’ve gained 10 lbs.

I really need to do something to make some money. My little Thrift Shop sure isn’t bringing much in and the shop I was going to start with my homemade bags and things isn’t taking off anytime soon because you need money to make money and well, I ain’t got no money. I don’t even know if anyone would buy anything and it would all be in vain. Mario’s supposed to get the job with Jorge by the end of this month or the beginning of November. I hope it happens. This past month has been hell. It sucks having to rely on our family for financial help. It sucks not being able to go out and rent movies, go out to a movie, buy the kids things they want like we used to, or buy things for ourselves like we used to. We’re so lucky we have Mario’s family helping us or else we’d be homeless somewhere, no kidding. Our cars aren’t working…the Sentra took a shit again and that’s because Mario had just replaced some parts. Now it has some oil leak. The Prelude is still dead. $3,500 on that car for nothing. We’ve had problems with it since after a week that Mario bought it. Mario and I were talking this morning…and I hate to say this and I don’t want to lose faith, but it almost feels as if God’s picking on us. Like he’s overlooked us or something. I don’t like comparing myself to other people…but look at Jorge and Maggie. Jorge didn’t even go to college, and here he is, assistant manager with a brand-new house and a nice truck. TWO nice trucks. Mario went to school, he busted his ass working at the hospital all those years and what? This is what we get? I just want to go out and get a job but I’ll be damned if I’m going to leave Jaylen at some daycare around here. He’s too little to go to Head Start and I’ve heard horror stories about that place, too. I’d ask Mom to watch him…and go through that program where they’d pay her for it but you already have to have a job or be going to school and well, I don’t. I’m not even sure how much she’d be making. I’d go out and look for a job right now if it was guaranteed that I’d get one and that they’d pay Mom more through CCMS (that program) than at her current job. She barely made $249 this month and that’s because they paid her her “vacation” money. They paid her a measly $2 an hour for her “paid vacation”…which is total bull because that’s not what she makes. She barely has enough to pay the bills this month and is highly considering taking up Aunt Nora’s offer and moving in with her. It sucks. I wish they wouldn’t have to have financial problems either. I’d hate for John to have to move over there. Mom too. Then, Mario hates driving me around as it is–how would I see them? I mean, I can drive, but I’m still not experienced enough to drive to Boonieville where Aunt Nora lives. I can’t believe, back in ’01 when I had just started working for Old Navy, I went with Mom to her audiologist (she has a hearing disability) and the Dr. offered me a job because he liked my phone etiquette. He had already started giving me a tour of the practice, and of the office I’d be working at and my station and everything. He described what my job would be. He handed me an application and asked me to start ASAP. And I had to turn it down because I’d just gotten the job at Old Navy and the hours Mario and I were working weren’t convenient for that job. I cringe just thinking about it. Why can’t I get a break like that now?! Now that I NEED it!?! WHEN will we get our break?!?!?!

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Why Meee??

See?? Greymatter is doing it again! My smilies were showing up this afternoon and now they’re not. Neither is my mood or music. They were showing up in the archives, but now the previous entries aren’t showing smilies or the mood and music either. I could stab myself with a pencil for deleting my Greymatter last time :(.

I feel like I’m getting sick :sick:. I feel a sore throat coming on. Jaylen got a cold from somewhere…his nose was all runny. On top of that, I have a pimple the size of Mars on my cheek :zipit:. I never get pimples on my cheeks! I need to quit touching my face…I don’t know what else it could be that is making me break out like I’m 14 again :eblush:. You know your husband loves you when your baseball sized pimple is protruding from your face and he gently runs his finger over it and says, “Aw Babe, that looks like it hurts.” Aww LOL.

OK. Tired. Eyes closing. Must. Sleep.

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