Category: Bitching

Some Silence After a Busy Day

We were bored out of our minds (which meant the boys were quickly becoming fussy) so I took them to the library. They picked out a few cute books (Eenan: The Very Hungry Caterpillar & The Grouchy Ladybug by Eric Carle — LOVE his books! Jaylen: Calico Cat’s Exercise Book by Donald Charles and Oh My Oh My Oh Dinosaurs! by Sandra Boynton. Since there were many kids at the time and they were all coloring and playing games, Jaylen and Eenan sat down and started coloring pieces of construction paper while I was getting our library cards. Later, a librarian tells me about how they’re having a Summer Reading Club and it’s barely the 2nd day so if we’d like to join we were more than welcome to. I say sure, and fill out their forms. So now, after the kids read their books, they either draw a picture or write a short summary (“book report”) of what they read and they turn it in the next day. The club runs from yesterday LOL till July 1st. On the first, they’ll have a party if they had good attendance (we go each day from 2-3…didn’t ask about weekends though…). The kids think it’s pretty good. They already love to read and now hopefully Jaylen can start feeling more comfortable around other kids and won’t be so scared when he starts school. Which will be in 2 more damn years!! I hadn’t bitched about that yet, have I? Well, let me begin…

Most of the (retarded) cities around our area aren’t allowing 4 year olds to attend school (Pre-K) unless they’re dirt poor and speak only Spanish. The rest of the kids have to wait to attend their first year of school in Kinder, when they’re 5-6!! What kind of crap is that?? I think it’s great they’re taking the initiative to help Spanish as a Primary Language students, but what about the other kids? Is MY kid going to stay behind because he actually speaks English?? So when the Spanish-speaking kids learn English and the alphabet, and math and to write, MY KID is going to be left behind barely learning those things? I mean, c’mon! When Eenan was in Kinder this year, they were reading 2nd grade-level books! How’s Jaylen going to be able to do that if he doesn’t know the basics first?! I think it’s just ludicrous.

Anyway, after the kids had their fun and checked out their books, we came home and I cut John’s hair, then Jaylen’s, gave him a quick shower since he’d already had a bath, did a bit of laundry, then got the boys ready for their swimming classes. They had so much fun and I was having a heart attack! Jorge, Eenan’s coach, took him to the 13 foot pool. Then Michael, Jaylen’s coach, took him…and let him get on the diving board! Jaylen isn’t scared of anything. He nonchalantly sauntered across the plank and fearlessly jumped into Michael’s open arms. My eyes were about to pop out of my head and my mouth dropped to the floor. Eenan went too, but he was a little more hesitant, but carefully made his way across anyway–and loved it! I was terrified, but Mary assured me it was okay. I know the guys are good coaches, but these are my babies!!

Yadira, the girls, Elda and the boys all went to see Eenan and Jaylen practice today. They played in the park for a few minutes after the boys were done, while the adults talked on the sidewalk. Then we came home. Everyone went to Yadira’s to eat pizza and John went out with his friends. I started on dinner and Jaylen was fussy and ended up falling asleep, so now I’m here, in an unusually quiet house and it’s just weird LOL. I guess I’ll have some dinner:

…and then I’ll finish up with laundry and snuggle up on the couch, watch TV and eat some ice cream with caramel topping . I actually lost a few lbs. because I’ve been limiting my food intake and not chowing down all the junk food in sight. I’m down to 115 . (For new readers: Don’t freak out. My goal weight is 105 because I’m only 4 ft. 11in. tall!)

Okay, food smells good. Really hungry. Gonna eat.

(more…)

I Hate This Shit

Had to start a private journal since relatives read my blog. It’s just a password protected directory for now, but when I have time, and I get the balls, I might install WordPress with the PW protected entry option. I considered making a private entry on my LJ, but I have “friends” on there that I wouldn’t feel comfortable letting read about my private life. Anyway.

I don’t bitch about my in-laws much. I love them all dearly, as if they were my own flesh and blood. BUT. I don’t like the way my mom-in-law spends money and then is broke before her & my dad-in-law get paid again. We’re broke. We HAD $100 yesterday to last us the next week, that’s all. We went to Jorge and Maggie’s last night, and as a “peace offering”, I suppose, Mario buys a 24 pack of beer and some cigarrettes for himself. Something we didn’t need, but fine, whatever. Today he tells me he gave his mom $20, because he owed them to her and was going to lend her another $10. I tell him, “Wait. You didn’t owe her $20. You told me last time you weren’t paying her back because you took her and Noelia shopping at JCPenny with OUR credit card and we’re paying for it anyway. We don’t have any extra money, Babe.” (They spent about $160 on our card, yet I can’t fucking go shopping when I want to, yet we’re paying for it.) He snaps back, “Get the fuck over JCPenny already, Yajaira. I can do what I want with my money.”

Motherfucker.

If it’s ONE fucking thing I hate, it’s when he says that crap. I tell him, “Oh really? We’re back to that again? YOUR money?”

He was walking out the door to buy milk, since we ran out, and he says, “I can do what I want with our money, I don’t need to ask you what I can or can’t do.”

“Oh.” I reply, “NOW it’s ‘our’ money, right?”

I really hate when he says that. I loathe it. I don’t give a shit if he thinks it’s allowed because he’s angry, you just don’t say that crap. That’s what would cause all the fights around the time Jaylen was born. He’d become this arrogant asshole and seeing very well that I’d just had a baby, would bitch about how I didn’t do anything around the house, how I was worthless and how the money he made was his. Hmm…and then he wondered why I had post-partum depression. After a whole assload of talks about it, he finally changed. Lately though, he’s been doing it again. Doesn’t say I’m worthless or any of the other hurtful things he’d say, but he still brings money into it. That’s honestly why I’m in such a hurry to get my license, go to school and get a good job–because if “his” money isn’t “ours”, then I want my own. Let him run out of gas at the last minute because he’s lending everybody and their mama money just so they can friggin’ go to the movies with the whole family. I know that’s what Mary’s gonna do. I don’t wanna be rude or break into assumptions but that’s WHY she goes broke. She decides to invite everybody to the movies with her and she PAYS for EVERYBODY! Or she takes everybody to lunch or dinner. And it’s usually not me and the kids, either. God forbid anyone be seen with me and my loud kids. OR she wants to buy stuff that’s on sale in the ads. She just sent Mario out to get the Sunday paper for her. He couldn’t take me to the goddam Garage Sale, which I haven’t been to in months, because “we don’t have money”, but he can lend his mom $30 we don’t have? Grr.

And, oh my God, can I go off on another rant here? Jose, Elda and the kids are on their way from Yuma, AZ. They’re permanently moving down here. While they’re having their house built, they’re going to be staying with Yadira. Usually, when they’re down here for vacation or just come to visit, I’m volunteered to stay WITH ALL THE GODDMAN KIDS. Like mine aren’t wild and crazy on their own, I have to watch everyone else’s kids!? They go off on their merry way, to the movies, to eat lunch and don’t invite me, but leave their damn kids here. When the FUCK does anybody watch mine? The only damn time we get invited anywhere when “the whole family’s” down here is when Mario’s here. Since Mario works all day long, he’s not here, so we don’t get invited. And I swear, if Elda gets into one of her holier-than-thou talks, I WILL tell her something this time. I’ve taken enough shit from her and I’ve had it.

God. I can’t wait till we get our own house. To think we’ll be here another 2-3 damn years. IF Mario and I can stand eachother that long.

Whoo. That feels better . I could just be taking everything 1000x worse than it really is since it’s that awful time of the month, and I’m moody and my back is killing me, but I think I have a legitimate reason for feeling how I do. Here’s hoping that the day gets better *raises glass of chocolate milk*.