Lows and Highs

I’ll start with the lows, so that I can end this entry on a more chipper note…

First, I realized that I can’t take the teaching job and that realization sucks. I hate to go all “emo” as John would say, but it seems that everytime a great opportunity knocks on the door, I have to slam the door in it’s face.

I had to work up the courage to call Mrs. C-R and break the news to her. There’s just nobody who can pick the kids up for me. John volunteered to walk to their school and pick them up and bring them home, but I can’t do that to him. Not again. He made me the huge favor of babysitting the kids for me the 9 months I went to school and I can’t do that to him again. I can’t stop him from getting a job (which he’s in the process of doing) just so that I can go and persue something for myself. It’s his turn.

My interview was tomorrow at 2 p.m. She told me to call her tomorrow morning just in case anything changed, but the only thing I’ll be calling her is to confirm my unavailability. I felt so embarrassed and just plain terrible for having to back out. It’s not like I wanted to, but it’s out of my hands at this point. I wish I would have known sooner that there was no way I’d be able to do this. It really sucks.

Another thing that crapped on my day was that I had my doctor’s appointment today and I didn’t get any sono pictures of Alaethia :(. I took a CD-R in so that Dr. C. could record my ultrasound but it obviously didn’t work. The pictures saved in a .CIN format and I searched all morning for a way to convert them (or at least view them) with no luck. Poo. And she grew since my last appointment, too! I can already tell she’s going to be gorgeous :).

Now for the better things:

I had a little trouble getting Eenan to cooperate with me this morning, but eventually he gave in and got ready for school. Jaylen surprised me. I thought he’d fight me on going, but he asked, “Can’t we leave to school already?” when noticed I was taking “too long” to eat my cereal.

Eenan asked me to walk him to his class today, which made me feel like, ‘Yes! He still needs me!’ LOL. I gave him a kiss and he said ‘See ya’ to Jaylen and he went on his merry way.

It was Jaylen’s turn. I gave him a little pep talk on the way to the class.

“You’re going to be a brave boy for me today, right?”

He nods and smiles.

“You’ll be fine. You’ll have fun and be with your friends, like Brianna and I’ll be back for you before you know it, okay?”

He nods again and we get to the door. He gives me a kiss and I watch as he walks into the class. He turns and I blow a kiss to him and wave. As the door’s closing I hear him wail, “MOOOOM!” and I think, “Oh no, not again!”

He’s already in tears when he reaches me and says, “I forgot to give you a hug!” He hugs me and kisses my protruding belly repeatedly. He looks up at me, eyes filled with tears and says, “I don’t want you to leave. I don’t get to spend enough time with you!” I tell him, “It’s okay, Baby. You’re only here for a little while and you get to have fun! I’ll pick you up at 11:30, okay?”

He wipes his tears away and says, “But you’ll never come!” I laugh, wipe his eyes and tell him, “Have I ever forgotten you? No, right? You know I have to pick you and Brianna up. I promise I’ll come for you.” He wipes his face with both hands and we try again. I tell him to have a good day and say hello to Brianna for me, but she’s already sitting at the table eating her breakfast and yells, “Heyyy!” His teacher walks over to me with a huge grin on her face and says, “He’s doing better!” I nod, relieved, and proceed to tell her about his nosebleeds and not to panic if they happen. He knows what to do.

I left feeling so much better than yesterday. I got home and tried waking Mario out of his coma. Mr. Man was busy watching TV till 2:30 a.m. and then kept waking me up to, uh, “cuddle” from 4-5. I finally had to put my foot down and said, “No, means no!”

So needless to say, we were both tired and sleepy. He got dressed and got his stuff together and I sat on the couch to watch TV to help me stay awake. It was 8:25 a.m.; I had my appointment at 10. I ended up falling asleep. I had a feeling I should wake up at what seemed like just 15 minutes but the clock said it was 9:52! I got smoothed out my clothes, fixed my hair really quick and left. I didn’t even get to put make up on. I made it at 10:01!

I had a conversation with a girl I met there who’s 3 months along. She was there to maybe find out the baby’s gender (she wants a girl since she has a boy) and she congratulated me on my girl. We talked about our ailments and previous pregnancies. I didn’t get to ask her what she had, but I hope she got the healthy girl she wanted :).

I was panicking because they took much longer than they usually do today. They finally called me in at 11:12 and I stared at my cellphone till 11:20, when the doctor finally came in. He said we’d be doing the measurements again and the triple-screening (AFP).

We go into the room and I hand him the CD. He tells me he’s really not familiar with the machine, but we’d give it a try (great!).

He measured Alaethia’s head, torso, legs and checked out her spine and said everything looked great. She was moving around a lot this time; she was kicking her little legs, moving from side to side and either she sucked her thumb or touched her face–we couldn’t tell. I asked him to please confirm her gender and he took a still of her bottom. He points to the screen and says, “Ah! That right there’s her little vagina” LOL! I asked him, “So it’s okay to buy her clothes now? and she said, “Sure!”

I weighed 127.8 this time and the nurses said I’m doing great with the weight gain. They were surprised to see how gigantic I am now :P. They also asked about her movements and I told them that I didn’t feel them a lot, but I have been feeling little flutters and “spasms”. I’ve actually been feeling her move much more today. It makes me feel at ease knowing that she’s moving around in there. I was so worried before!

They took my blood (11:30) and I get out of there at 11:33. Thank goodness the school’s nearby; I made it right on time at 11:35. Jaylen ran to the door when he saw me and hugged me, then Brianna grabbed me, too. They were much better behaved today. I felt so overwhelmed yesterday (the kids + not being able to take the job + having to fix Elda’s computer + having to clean up after construction = emotional wreck). It was the cutest thing when Brianna started snuggling up with Mom and then she snuggled up with me. Mom called her my “new daughter” when we had to go pick Eenan up LOL.

John went with me since he had to drop off an application afterwards. It actually didn’t rain at 3 today (it rained both Monday and Tuesday and only at 3 O_o).

We dropped Brandon off at home, then went to Burger King. Got the kids some tenders then we went to get the boys’ haircuts. Jaylen was cooperative, Eenan was throwing fits. He loathes haircuts. He’s always afraid they’re going to cut more than they should, but we go to the same lady everytime and she knows how they like their hair. Didn’t stop him from getting himself into trouble and getting grounded for an extra day, though.

The lady and I spoke about how much the school district sucks, ideas why last year’s principal is now working at Target (no, really), and how the school’s construction is ruining her business. She even complimented my belly and said, “4 or 5 months right? It looks like you’re that far along.” She’s the only one who’s been right. Everyone else freaks out by the size of my stomach LOL.

I also chopped all my hair off on inpulse. Something just came over me. It used to be waist-length, now it’s a little under my shoulders. Crazy. I do love it though. It feels so much healthier. I was due for a haircut.

Mayra asked me about how remodeling’s going and it’s actually picked up speed a little. I helped my dad-in-law finish texturing the walls so now I need to paint. Hopefully those closets will be up in the next 1-2 weeks. I seriously can’t wait!

I also got my beige futon cover and clear frame magnets for my fridge from the ABC catalog. The living room looks like it got a makeover just by changing the cover and my fridge looks so organized and spiffy :).

Once the hallway’s done I want to buy a small mirror and table to give the hallway some life. If not, just this nice corner shelf where I can put some nice vases/trinkets.

At least I have my redecorating to keep me busy now that I’ll be home for this entire pregnancy.

Questions About Your First Born

1. WAS YOUR FIRST PREGNANCY PLANNED???
Nope, he was a surprise. One of the best surprises I’ve ever gotten :).

2. WHO FATHERED YOUR CHILD???
My husband (and boyfriend at the time), Mario.

3. HOW DID YOU FEEL WHEN YOU FOUND OUT?
Extremely shocked, mad at myself, scared, but excited.

4. WAS ADOPTION OR ABORTION AN OPTION FOR YOU???
Never.

5. HOW OLD WERE YOU???
16 (had him at 17)

6. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE PREGNANT???
Missed my period for 2 months (thought it was normal since I was super irregular), took three pregnancy tests and then went to the doctor the next morning.

7. WHO WAS THE FiRST TO KNOW???
Mario, Rejeana and her mom, Watson, Art and Robby, Mario’s mom and then my mom.

(8. was missing)

9. WHAT WAS YOUR DUE DATE??
Sometime in August.

10. DID YOU HAVE MORNING SICKNESS???
Mild nausea due to migraines during the 3rd month.

11. WHAT DID YOU CRAVE???
Pickles & Doritos sprinkled with Lucas, nachos, watermelon and Chamoyadas.

12. WHO IRRITATED YOU THE MOST???
Nobody.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FIRST CHILDS SEX???
Boy

14. DID YOU WISH YOU HAD THE OPPOSITE SEX OF WHAT YOU WERE GETTING???
Nope. I knew he was a boy from the beginning. I had a feeling; even after they told me he was a girl at 4 months, I didn’t believe it, and I was right!

15. WHAT WERE THE NAMES YOU PICKED OUT??
Just Eenan.

16. DID YOU GET STRETCHMARKS???
3 streaks on each thigh and that was it.

17. HOW MANY POUNDS DID YOU GAIN THROUGHOUT YOUR PREGNANCY???
21 lbs.

18. DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER??? WHAT WAS THE THEME???
Yes. Winnie the Pooh and Tigger.

19. WAS IT A SURPRISE OR DID YOU KNOW???
I knew.

20. DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS DURING YOUR PREGNANCY???
None at all.

21. WHERE DID YOU GIVE BIRTH???
McAllen Medical

22. HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU IN LABOR???
Oh GOD. 31.

23. WHO DROVE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL???
Mario, my mom, and Mario’s aunt (and Eenan’s godmother) Yadira.

24. WHO WATCHED YOU GIVE BIRTH???
Mario and my mom-in-law.

25. WAS IT NATURAL OR C-SECTION???
Natural

26. DID YOU TAKE MEDICINE TO EASE THE PAIN???
I had an epidural. I BEGGED for it.

27. WHEN WAS YOUR CHILD’S BIRTHDATE???
July 30, 1999.

28. WHAT TIME???
11:05am

29. HOW MUCH DID YOUR CHILD WEIGH???
7 lbs 5 oz

30. DID YOUR CHILD HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS???
No, thank goodness :).

31. WHAT DID YOU NAME HE/SHE???
Eenan Ryan

32. HOW OLD IS YOUR FIRST BORN TODAY???
7 years old!

Mom’s 57th B-day & Back to School

Well, I just did the stupidest thing I possibly could have. I somehow refreshed the page and lost MY ALMOST FINISHED ENTRY!!!

Argh. Like I’m not having a crappy morning to begin with!

Anyway, Mom’s birthday get-together on Sunday was nice. We left early (okay, around 11:30, so not-so-early) Sunday morning to pick up all the stuff we were going to need, plus groceries for the house and the rest of the kids’ school supplies. We didn’t find any of their stuff at Wal-Mart and I was so ready to go yell at someone from the district for adding stuff to their lists at the last minute.

We got all the food at H-E-B and thankfully found the rest of their school supplies there! And they were really inexpensive, too. Mary was making broccoli rice and her famous salsa for the party and I was making guacamole dip, Frijoles a la Charra, carrot cake (one frosted, one not) and Mario was taking care of the fajitas, chicken and sausage on the grill.

We got worried once 6 o’clock came around since the plan was to have the food ready by 5 so everyone could eat by 5:30, but no one was here! Finally, at around 6:15, Sally and Joe arrived, then Mary (she was at a bridal shower), and then Yadira, Tommy and their kids. Mario was a great host and Joe felt really comfortable around Mario and Big Mario, so that was great. Sally, Mom and I talked about weddings and our Mom’s bad health and then we went outside with the men and talked about cats, dogs, ticks, hunting and other stuff I can’t remember at the moment. Mom had a good time, which I’m so relieved about LOL. We talked with Yadira and Tommy and Chris and Nancy (who arrived later) and then we got the kids into the shower at 9:30. I knew it was pretty late and that I probably wouldn’t have them into bed till 10, but they were mindful and fell asleep by 10:05.

I woke up nauseous the next morning for the first time this whole pregnancy. It was a mixture of fear that I wouldn’t get them ready on time, that Eenan would hate his class like last year and that Jaylen would bawl his eyes out–that last one had a knot in my throat already.

They woke up pretty quickly and the morning went without incident. Mario accompanied us, since he loves to be there on their first day, and our first stop was Eenan’s class.

He walked right into his classroom without so much as a goodbye LOL. I signed him in and then called him over to give us kisses. He’s pretty excited since one of this good friends from Pre-K and Kinder, Brianna (or Brenna, one of those), is in his class this year, plus some other ones he told me about after school.

Next was Jaylen. He was calm and just taking in his surroundings while I was signing some MORE papers for him. I took him over to one of the tables where kids were sitting and he sat down. A little boy, Arick–who just so happens to be a cousin we didn’t know about, was crying his little eyes out. I kept seeing Jaylen stare at him, so I distracted him by talking to him and asking him if he was enjoying the Golden Grams cereal they’d given all the kids. He seemed pretty happy, but I just couldn’t walk away! I kept telling him, “It’s okay, Baby. We’ll be back at noon, okay? Don’t worry!” Mario had to squeeze my shoulder and practically pry me out of the class. On the way to the car my hormones completely took over and I bawled my eyes out. Yup. I cried. I didn’t even cry when Eenan went to Pre-K, but I did have a knot in my throat and I wasn’t pregnant O_o.

Jason had called Mario when he and Mireya went to drop off Brianna (our little cousin who I’ll be taking care of) and said Jaylen was a little teary eyed, but he calmed him down. Jason said it was probably all the little kids that were crying that scared him.

Mario left to work as soon as we got home. I kind of just sat here, going deaf from the silence. I hadn’t heard that kind of silence in years and it freaked me out. I’m so used to hearing a little voice say, “Can I play with your hair?” “Can you lay down with me?” “Can you color with me?” It was weird. I played Bejeweled for a while on the computer, then spoke to Mario on the phone, who called because he knew I was probably bored out of my mind. After we hung up I ran a few errands then picked up some boxes so I could pack up the thousands of books the kids have, plus other junk that’s sprawled all around the bedroom. I cleaned a little bit and by the time I knew it, it was time to pick up Jaylen and Brianna.

I got there at 11:20, since they should get out at 11:30, but they didn’t get out till 12. One little boy walked down the hall and happily declared that he had “Burger King” at school LOL. Another little girl, whose yellow t-shirt was tear streaked, was sobbing and told her Mom she wanted to go back to Daycare, aww :(. Seeing that made me really nervous about how Jaylen would be, and then I see he and Briana turn the corner and they’re walking together and chatting away. It was the cutest thing!

They were pretty good. I cleaned up and put books into boxes while they played the Game Cube, colored, had snacks, had drinks, played with toys, colored, and watched TV. I sat about half an hour during those 3 hours, and it was when I was having lunch. At least I’ll stay active throughout the pregnancy LOL.

When it was time to pick up Eenan I packed the two kids in the truck and Mom came along for the ride. I went through the usual Pick-Up line and to my surprise the gate was already open and there were only 3 other cars in sight. I found that strange and called the school. They have another new Pick-Up station this year and it sucks even worse than last years. I ended up having to park at the very end of the semi-circle drive way and then it started to POUR! It was totally unexpected. Thank God I had an umbrella in the truck.

They were so unorganized that it took forever to get the kids out of the front hallway. It was already 3:40 by the time Eenan finally emerged from the door. He had a good day though, so I’m glad.

Brianna was picked up at 6 and she didn’t want to go home LOL. Getting the kids to eat dinner, take showers, and brush their teeth was much easier last night, thank goodness. Jaylen was asleep by 9:35 and Eenan was rolling around in bed till 10, but when I walked in at 10:10 he was already asleep. Mario and I tried watching Scary Movie 4, but were so tired we stopped it halfway and went to bed.

Eenan was giving me a little trouble in the morning, but Jaylen was fine. I discovered that we’ll have to buy him almost a whole new warddrobe of shorts since the size 5’s we got him are too big and have actual buttons instead of snaps. We’re afraid he’ll have an accident because he can’t unbutton fast enough.

I scarfed breakfast down as fast as I could and got the boys in the truck. Eenan, my big boy, didn’t even let me walk him to his class. He gave me a kiss and then we walked to Jaylen’s class.

He did so good, I got him in line and then they started going in. He kind of threw his backpack on the floor and then it dawned on me that I hadn’t written his name anywhere on his backpack. I start looking for the Sharpie I had in my purse and darnit, I’d forgotten it. I looked through the window to see what he was doing and he was getting his PB&J sandwich and orange juice (yes, my kids eat breakfast twice, at home and at school LOL). He sat down and then I see him blink away tears–he was starting to freak out again since there were 3 kids crying in the class. He looked out the door and I tried hiding but he saw me. He ran to the door and said, “I forgot to give you a hug!” so I gave him one. When he was half-way to his table he ran back and to my horror he was crying. I tried calming him down for about 10 minutes and nothing worked. Finally, this rude bitch (I don’t even know why she was in their classroom) tells me, “Next time you need to leave quickly. You all make it worse if you stick around.” I said, “I’ll keep that in mind,” and watch them drag Jaylen away from me. It was heart breaking. I could hear him (and about 10 other kids) screaming when I turned down the hallway. I hope he’s doing alright right now :(.

Like I didn’t feel bad enough already, Mario didn’t eat the breakfast I made him (French Toast). Grr. I told him I’m not bothering tomorrow morning.

It’s 10:38. Need to get some laundry done, wash dishes, and pack up some stuff before I pick up the kids. I would have gotten started much earlier except this stupid thing messed up on me. I need to get happy and change my attitude. I had a feeling when I woke up that today would suck–I need to change that :(.