Category: Backstories

Had to start a private journal since relatives read my blog. It’s just a password protected directory for now, but when I have time, and I get the balls, I might install WordPress with the PW protected entry option. I considered making a private entry on my LJ, but I have “friends” on there that I wouldn’t feel comfortable letting read about my private life. Anyway.

I don’t bitch about my in-laws much. I love them all dearly, as if they were my own flesh and blood. BUT. I don’t like the way my mom-in-law spends money and then is broke before her & my dad-in-law get paid again. We’re broke. We HAD $100 yesterday to last us the next week, that’s all. We went to Jorge and Maggie’s last night, and as a “peace offering”, I suppose, Mario buys a 24 pack of beer and some cigarrettes for himself. Something we didn’t need, but fine, whatever. Today he tells me he gave his mom $20, because he owed them to her and was going to lend her another $10. I tell him, “Wait. You didn’t owe her $20. You told me last time you weren’t paying her back because you took her and Noelia shopping at JCPenny with OUR credit card and we’re paying for it anyway. We don’t have any extra money, Babe.” (They spent about $160 on our card, yet I can’t fucking go shopping when I want to, yet we’re paying for it.) He snaps back, “Get the fuck over JCPenny already, Yajaira. I can do what I want with my money.”

Motherfucker.

If it’s ONE fucking thing I hate, it’s when he says that crap. I tell him, “Oh really? We’re back to that again? YOUR money?”

He was walking out the door to buy milk, since we ran out, and he says, “I can do what I want with our money, I don’t need to ask you what I can or can’t do.”

“Oh.” I reply, “NOW it’s ‘our’ money, right?”

I really hate when he says that. I loathe it. I don’t give a shit if he thinks it’s allowed because he’s angry, you just don’t say that crap. That’s what would cause all the fights around the time Jaylen was born. He’d become this arrogant asshole and seeing very well that I’d just had a baby, would bitch about how I didn’t do anything around the house, how I was worthless and how the money he made was his. Hmm…and then he wondered why I had post-partum depression. After a whole assload of talks about it, he finally changed. Lately though, he’s been doing it again. Doesn’t say I’m worthless or any of the other hurtful things he’d say, but he still brings money into it. That’s honestly why I’m in such a hurry to get my license, go to school and get a good job–because if “his” money isn’t “ours”, then I want my own. Let him run out of gas at the last minute because he’s lending everybody and their mama money just so they can friggin’ go to the movies with the whole family. I know that’s what Mary’s gonna do. I don’t wanna be rude or break into assumptions but that’s WHY she goes broke. She decides to invite everybody to the movies with her and she PAYS for EVERYBODY! Or she takes everybody to lunch or dinner. And it’s usually not me and the kids, either. God forbid anyone be seen with me and my loud kids. OR she wants to buy stuff that’s on sale in the ads. She just sent Mario out to get the Sunday paper for her. He couldn’t take me to the goddam Garage Sale, which I haven’t been to in months, because “we don’t have money”, but he can lend his mom $30 we don’t have? Grr.

And, oh my God, can I go off on another rant here? Jose, Elda and the kids are on their way from Yuma, AZ. They’re permanently moving down here. While they’re having their house built, they’re going to be staying with Yadira. Usually, when they’re down here for vacation or just come to visit, I’m volunteered to stay WITH ALL THE GODDMAN KIDS. Like mine aren’t wild and crazy on their own, I have to watch everyone else’s kids!? They go off on their merry way, to the movies, to eat lunch and don’t invite me, but leave their damn kids here. When the FUCK does anybody watch mine? The only damn time we get invited anywhere when “the whole family’s” down here is when Mario’s here. Since Mario works all day long, he’s not here, so we don’t get invited. And I swear, if Elda gets into one of her holier-than-thou talks, I WILL tell her something this time. I’ve taken enough shit from her and I’ve had it.

God. I can’t wait till we get our own house. To think we’ll be here another 2-3 damn years. IF Mario and I can stand eachother that long.

Whoo. That feels better . I could just be taking everything 1000x worse than it really is since it’s that awful time of the month, and I’m moody and my back is killing me, but I think I have a legitimate reason for feeling how I do. Here’s hoping that the day gets better *raises glass of chocolate milk*.

It feels like a Sunday. Which means the whole rest of the week’s going to feel like a different day, which is totally going to throw me off. But anyway.

I was at my wit’s end about an hour before we left to the boys’ swimming classes yesterday evening. They’d been fighting all afternoon and totally made a mess of the bedroom and refused to clean it up. When they finally did, I had maybe 10 minutes to get them in their trunks, pack up towels, sunscreen, my camera (!), their flip flops, extra undies and shorts, and a plastic bag for wet clothes.

We got there 15 minutes early to register them. It was a bit…awkward for a second for me since one of the swimming coaches is an ex-boyfriend. He was Mario’s friend, the one I met at the mall and started dating a few weeks after that. I broke it off with him before he broke my heart (he was “confused” over who to be with; his ex or me). Then, about a month later, Mario and I started dating . Anyway, it was always strange being around him before when we’d run into him in places, because he always had this strange, uncomfortable look on his face when I was around. It wasn’t too bad last night though. He made a comment about how he heard “Jaylen” in French meant “Mario”. How freaking awesome would it be if I named him “Mario” in another language without even knowing it?? I need to do some research.

While we waited for the coaches to get in the pool and get situated, we lathered the boys up in sun screen. I was growing more and more nervous by the second. I knew they’d be fine, but pools have that effect on me . I’m just glad the boys are getting lessons since I can’t swim.

There were hardly any kids there for lessons, so each of the kids got a coach to themselves. They taught Eenan to hold his breath, go underwater, and then come up for air. They taught Jaylen the same thing and then tried teaching him to blow bubbles, but he was too busy trying to “swim” that he only blew bubbles a few times. They both did very well. Eenan was taught how to float on his back. The coach took him around the pool, even the deep end and would hold him, let him float on his own, then held him again. Jaylen had a blast kicking and splashing all around the pool. His coach kept calling him, “JR” though, so I think that’s why he may have not been listening LOL. When it was time to go, Jaylen’s coach asks, “How old is he?”

“Three”, I say.

He wipes water from his face and says, “Wow. He’s got A LOT of energy! He probably won’t learn how to swim this session, but next session, definetly. He’s ready.”

They wanted to go to the park, but man it was hot out there! The park’s old, so all the swings and merry-go-round are metal, and they would have burned themselves. Mary got them Happy Meals on the way home and we promised we’d take their sneakers today and take them to the park for a while. I just hope it’s not so hot, but I watched the news last night and they said it was getting into the 100’s. Great. .

I hope they have fun again tonight . Jaylen was so beat he fell asleep at around 9:30pm and didn’t wake up till 8am this morning! Eenan said, “It hurts when I bend”, when he woke up LOL.

When Mario got home we ate dinner and he made us some banana milkshakes and I made the vanilla ice cream covered brownie like the one he made me last week. We stayed up watching TV till midnight and then went to bed. I hate staying up so late but it’s the only time we get to spend together . I woke up really tired and still very sleepy again this morning. I want to nap, but then I’ll wake up with a headache, I know it.

Anyway, I shall get back to cleaning and maybe get some coffee brewing to stay awake. I didn’t finish cleaning yesterday. Didn’t think I would LOL–there’s just too much stuff in this tiny place! I don’t know where to put anything!

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