Category: Funny

I got out of the shower and sat at the computer chair to put my shoes on. Jaylen, who’d just woken up from a nap and had gone to the restroom to pee walks up to me and says, “Mom, I had a nighmare while I was sleeping.”

I tie my shoes and reply, “Really? What happened?”

He gets a far away look in his eyes and says “I put a game in my Game Cube and tohned it on and it didn’t wohk!”

I supress a smile and say, “Oh my gosh, that was a nightmare, wasn’t it?”

He nods and then says, “And then I had some cookies and I woke up.”

The world will crumble all around them the day that Game Cube dies from all their abuse.

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We made a trip to the beach on Saturday to watch Yazmin compete. Oh, and what a trip it was! We were making good time and all of a sudden we end up at the bridge to cross to Matamoros, Mexico. As we’re approaching the “toll booths”, we’re all oohing and ahhing about how Brownsville’s growing and how they have these toll booths, and man! They’re really growing! As we near the booth I notice there’s a bridge and say, “Guys…I think this goes to Mexico.” We quietly look around in horror and when Elda asks the man if the bridge is to Mexico he confirms our fears. A security guard (mortifyingly) has three cars reverse so we can get out of there. The security guard supposedly gives us fool proof directions to South Padre and off we go. Right.

Yazmin’s first performance (the jazz dance) was scheduled for 1:08. We arrived at the island at about 1:20. We totally missed it.

We decide to have lunch since her second performance, the hip-hop one, was set for 3:00.

We head to Whataburger and I think, cool, I’ll have a salad. As I’m smothering the salad with dressing I turn the package and read: Calories – 310. Holy cow. I seriously had no idea Ranch dressing was so bad. I could have had a darn burger!

We caught Yazmin’s 2nd performance and all the girls did SO good. I’m so proud of her :).

We took the kids to the beach for a little while afterwards and they had a blast playing in the sand. We didn’t let them get in the water since it was freezing, but they did run around without shoes and their pants rolled up.

Mario will be going back to the beach on his day off with Jaylen to retrieve Eenan’s sketchers. We left them in the parking lot LOL.

It was a cool day. I was so exhausted that night that I ate my Special K and laid down. Mary came in with an enchilada plate she ordered for me. I gave the kids half each of one and ate the other. I’ve been doing so bad with the diet. Mario and I even shared a pint of Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream, my absolute favorite, that Mary’d bought for me.

*In Fat Bastard voice* I can’t stop eeeeating!

Mary, the boys and I went to Peter Piper Pizza on Sunday and then to watch Hoodwinked, which was cute, but kind of drawn out for me. I think my favorite character was the goat . Mario had the day off but refused to go with us because he decided to be a big baby since he couldn’t find his Matco cap. I’d like to smack him with…something sometimes…

I had Monday off, so I spent it going through the kids’ toys and separating for the garage sale. They have a ridiculous amount of stuff. I’d take a picture of the ruins so that you can see for yourself how horrible it is but CPS would probably be called on me for having so much shit. I still have to go through their bookshelf, big toybox, and stuffed animal toybox. Jesus. At least there’s a very clear path to their beds now .

I need to finish my Compare and Contrast essay. I’m comparing and contrasting myself and Mario. I’m totally stuck at how to transition from the first paragraph to the second. It’s been YEARS since I’ve written an essay. I hope I do okay in this class (Technical Writing). Our final is persuading people to buy a product, due on the 26th. Oh gawd.

I shall iron now and then I shall spend my night trying not to eat the powdered donuts that are in the cabinet.

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Good day today. Did not a thing in class. Nothing but chatting on Yahoo with everyone, which was fun. We do, however, need to study for our final in Accounting tomorrow. God help us all.

I’m about to go and pick up my rings. I cannot tell you how excited I am to finally wear that ring on my finger!

Quote of the day:

John: What does ostracize mean?
silence
Me: …I know! It’s when an ostrich is exercising. You know, like jazzercising?

That’s got to be the most airheaded thing I’ve said in my life.

OKAY. I think what Eenan just said beats that “Quote of the Day.”

He says, “Mom, you look like a teenager.”

I say, “Yeah, because I’m short.”

He comes up to me to measure himself against me and I say, “You’ll be taller than me by the time you’re in 5th grade!”

He looks a bit annoyed and says, “Mom, stand up!”

I’m silent for a bit, trying to register what my child just said and I squeal, “I AM standing up!”

Ah. Someone else to add to the short jokes.

[edit 8:34pm] I got them! Mario might have to have his resized AGAIN, but they’re beautiful :).

We did a bit of shopping (Mom, Noelia and I), since we had to wait an extra hour and a half since they weren’t ready. I hope they don’t take too long after we take Mario’s back in. He was kind of upset about how big it fit :(.[/edit]

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