I stalled and stalled all of Monday (the 7th); I didn’t want to go grocery shopping. It was still raining on and off outside and my mood matched the weather. I just wanted to snuggle up on the couch and read. I finished with all 7 Confessions of Georgia Nicholson books and I started reading My Sister’s Keeper by Jodi Picoult and found out it’s going to be a movie next year!
John came over and I asked him to go with me. Mom would watch the kids. Awesome. Because going grocery shopping with the kids is never a walk in the park and I wasn’t looking forward to this in the first place.
While we’re driving I joke with John to remind me to buy a pregnancy test because I’m still late. 16 days, in fact. The same thing happened back in February so I was convinced that it was my sudden halt in taking the birth control (since I’d run out in June). All the other times I’ve been late I’ve taken a pregnancy test and it was negative, and like magic I’d get my period the next day. I was going for the same effect this time!
We do all the shopping and with legs that feel like noodles I walk into that isle and get a pregnancy test; the cheapest one you can find.
I see Mario’s cousin and she’s got less stuff to pay for than I do, so I let her in before me in line and hastily toss boxes around to cover the pregnancy test. Last thing I need are rumors!
As we’re putting the food on the conveyor belt I realize I’ve gotten a ridiculous amount of ramen noodles. I’m not even supposed to have those. I ask John, “Why’d I get so many of these?” and he leans in and whispers, “Because you’re pregnant!”
I punch him and hiss, “Shut up! Not funny!” and turn to check if Mario’s cousin heard anything. No, she’s already walking away.
We get home and I put all the food away. Mom’s actually at her house for once. The boys are quietly playing with Alaethia in their bedroom so I grab the pregnancy test and take my chance.
I’m shaking and my stomach is flipping uncontrollably. I’m telling myself I know this thing’s going to be negative, but there’s always that teensy chance it might not be. Besides, I’d gone back and tracked my cycle and my days of ovulation and we didn’t do anything on my most fertile days.
I take a deep breath, exhale and do what needs to be done. I set the stick on some toilet paper on the floor and stare at it.
And right before my eyes–and I’m being so serious, this happened in like, 1 second–I see a plus sign.
With shaking hands and racing heart I go over the pamphlet–DAMMIT! One straight line and one plus sign mean “pregnant”, no matter how light the plus sign is. I look at the stick. Shit. That thing is blue as the sky.
I succumb to the news. I’m going to have another baby. I sat there on the toilet seat and cried for a little bit.
I had no idea what to do. I just sat there in the silence, feeling like my world was caving in around me. I didn’t know who to call, especially because I knew the test was wrong. I didn’t even have symptoms! Well, except for that weird wave of nausea the night before, but I was sure it was the food. I need a new test. That thing appeared too quickly. There has to be something wrong with it.
I text John, because he’s the only one I’ve told anything to, and I’m rambling on and on, telling him how something must be wrong with it. He replies with, “I don’t understand you.”
I’m so annoyed I type back, “I HATE YOU!”
Yes, I was that emotional.
I’m pacing about, and finally decide to call Mary. Its 4:22…she’ll be out of work soon. She can get me a new, working test! So I call and tell her everything. She gets excited, but retains it a little since she knows I’m freaking out. She says she’s stopping by Walgreens so she’ll get one from there.
I check on the kids to see how they’re doing and Jaylen’s happily playing with Alaethia. He’s always so good with her. I feel all warm inside and ask him, “How do you feel about having another brother or sister someday?” He looks up, thinks for a few seconds and nods, “I feel good!”
Mary gets here seconds later with the test. I’d already drank another 16 oz. bottle of water and am ready to take it.
This one forms as quickly as the other one. I yell, “Oh My GOD!” And Mary’s already shrieking and gives me a huge hug. Mom comes in and asks what’s going on. I show her the test. Her eyes get big and she points to Alaethia, who’s standing by innocently, and says, “Another one?!” I nod yes. She looks at her again and asks, “Another one?!” I tell her, “Yes, Mom, another one.” My mom, who always has a way with words says, “Aww, Alaethia’s so little. And you were just starting to lose weight!” Gee, thanks, Mom! She eventually says, “Oh good! I’m happy for you!”
We call the boys in and I ask them, “Do you know what these are,” and I bring the sticks in front of me. Eenan’s eyes are the first to widen and asks, “Are you pregnant?”
I nod and say, “You guys are having another brother or sister!” They both start jumping up and down and Eenan rushes forward and wraps his arms around me. Jaylen comes forward and rubs my stomach and says, “I love the baby!”
They made me feel a bit better :).
My dad-in-law comes over and stands in the doorway. Mary says, “We have some news. You’re going to be a Grandpa again!” He grabs a bag of Fritos and starts munching quickly, just staring at me. He even drops a few LOL. At that exact moment the phone rings.
Oh my God. How was I going to break this to Mario. The last time we had a scare (in February) it didn’t go too well.
He says, “Hey, I’m on my way home.”
Everyone in the background is screaming and laughing about the news. Before he hears it from someone I quickly say, “Guess what? You’re going to be a Daddy again!”
He says, “You’re shitting me.”
“No, I’m not. I took two tests.”
He’s silent for a while then says, “Okay. Call Maggie too see if she’s there so I can pick up my camera. I’ll be there in a bit.”
And that was it. I was so nervous.
Mary was calling everyone she knew. And everyone was being so nice about it. I was smiling on the outside, freaking out on the inside.
Mario gets home and goes straight to our house. Doesn’t even go over to Mary’s, where everyone is visiting. I come home and ask him, “So, what do you think?”
He says, “What can we do, right? Let’s just go from here.”
My, he was calm. But he also bought a 6-pk of beer. It made me a little nervous just how calm he was.
He’s looking for Carrie Underwood’s video All-American Girl, because the lyrics remind him of Alaethia.
As I’m standing behind him everything hits me all at once:
♥ Alaethia’s so young. I feel like I’m cheating her out of her time with me. I feel incredibly guilty.
♥ I know nothing about what my insurance covers concerning prenatal care.
♥ How am I going to take care of a 2 year old and new born?
♥ I at least spent 6 whole months with Alaethia. I’m only getting about 3 months (counting summer) with the new baby.
♥ How will I work?! Mom can barely watch Alaethia, much less two!
♥ OMG. I’ve had at least 1 alcoholic drink a day for the past week!
♥ And then I feel guiltier. What if something bad happens to the new baby because I’m being so ungrateful for this blessing?
As the song starts to play and I hear the lyrics and start bawling. Uncontrollably. I can’t help it. Mario asks, “Why are you crying, Babe?” I tell him my feelings about Alaethia and the drinking and everything. Mary walks in and sees me crying and asks, “What happened!” Without missing a beat Mario raises his hands up and says, “I didn’t do it!”
I go back to Mary’s once I compose myself and start talking with everyone. Everyone’s already asking about who’ll Baptize the baby, what names are we thinking of, and what if we have twins! Or triplets!
Mario announces it on his Myspace that same night. I scold him, because now I have to tell the girls before they see it on his profile and I so wanted to tell them in person over dinner! I call Sally first, and of course she’s got nothing but encouraging words. Pete even calls later and congratulates us :). I message Karina and Carmen and tell them the news. Mayra and Ricci call me later during the week and are so excited and offering nothing but kind, encouraging words. Paul and Norma see Mario’s status and come over that same night with their kiddos to congratulate us. I text Maggie and she’s happy for us, too, and in just as much shock as I am!
I can hardly sleep that night. I tossed and turned like crazy. When I woke up the next day I was still in shock, but I told myself–like everyone else had been telling me–that everything happens for a reason and things would work out. Everyone else was happy for me, why couldn’t I be? A baby’s a blessing, no matter what time they decide to make an appearance in your life :).
Title courtesy of Mayra ;).