Versatile 90-Second Low-Carb Almond Bread

I am seriously obsessed with this low-carb almond bread, y’all. I searched high and low (ok, maybe just on Pinterest) and found this beauty. 

I’m still doing Keto (and hope to stay on board as long as possible) so I definitely miss my sandwiches and biscuits. I had tried several almond bread recipes before, where you bake them, but this one right here is a game changer! Not only can you make sandwiches, you can use it for eggs Benedict, or as a biscuit!! AND–it cooks in the microwave in 90-fricken-seconds! I decided to add this to my recipes since I’ve been handing it out like hotcakes since I posted it on Instagram!

You’ll Need:
A mug, fork, extra bowl
1.5 tbsp. butter
3 tbsp. almond flour
1/2 tsp. baking powder
1 half-twist of sea salt from a grinder (optional, original recipe didn’t have it but I like salty bread)
1 egg

Melt your butter for about 20-30 seconds in a wide mug in the microwave. Then, mix in your 3 tbsp. of almond flour and your 1/2 tsp. of baking powder.

Whisk up the egg in a separate bowl and mix it into your butter & dry ingredients in your mug until very well-blended and most big clumps disappear. 

Microwave the mug mix for 90 seconds and take your mug out of the microwave carefully when done. The “bread” should have already separated a bit from the sides of the mug, but if it’s still attached in some areas, take a butter knife and carefully separate the bread from the mug.

Usually, just flipping it onto a plate makes it pop out just fine.

Look how cute that is!

Then comes the hard part: deciding how you want to devour your bread!!

Eggs Benedict
Biscuits with pb&j!! (And my vitamins!)
PB&J biscuits at work!

The best part: this recipe should be about 5 carbs (I double-checked! It’s actually less than 3 carbs for the biscuit! It’s 5 carbs with the Snickers SF jam and Laura Scudder’s peanut butter!)! (1 “normal” flour biscuit has about 25-40!!)

<– More Recipes?

All the Foods!

I’ve been telling myself for months that I need to start eating better.

There was always an excuse though: Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s, my events being back-to-back at work and not having time to eat better, selling (and eating) Girl Scout cookies. I vowed to myself that after the whole Girl Scout cookie thing and after February 16th, the date of my last major event, I would start eating better and jogging again. But February 16th and then the 17th came and I continued to eat crappily.

The girls were sick the week of February 7th so I took them in to the doctor. I was already there, so I figured I’d go in to get help with my acne again.

That’s a whole other story, but to summarize: I was on birth control since I was 17 years old, after having Eenan. I got my tubes tied after I had Emily on February 2009 at the age of 27. About 6 months later, after not being on any kind of birth control, I started getting acne and about 2010 (combined with the stress of the divorce and fighting for my kids) my face erupted like never before. It was awful. So in 2011 when I couldn’t take it anymore my doctor put me on Minocycline, an oral antibiotic, plus pledgets and a topical antibiotic. My face cleared up a lot, thank God, but in 2013 I must have become immune because it stopped working. So I changed my eating habits, drank more water, etc. and nothing seemed to help.

So I went in with the girls that day and my doc went ahead and did my yearly physical while I was there, plus blood work. When I had picked the girls up I’d had 4 Thin Mints with Emily (grrr), so I reminded the girls at the office that my sugar might be a little higher due to that, and being checked after lunch. Dr. Guzman prescribed birth control to help with my acne, and we went on our way.

Fast forward to 1 1/2 weeks later and Laura calls me on the 19th at 3pm that they need me to go in. That always means that something came back abnormal on the results. She tells me that my cholesterol is super high and they need to see me. So in I go. My cholesterol total was at almost 400 and my “bad” cholesterol was at 300. Not good. I even reminded all the girls that I’d had those Thin Mints that day before my blood work was taken but Dr. Guzman somberly said no, this was something that was developing for a while. She said I was thin, healthy overall so she was blaming my crappy genetics. (My first thought was Damn you, Mother!!)

She put me on a strict diet and basically told me to stick to the produce section of HEB, fish and chicken. That’s it. She also gave me a list of names that were a creative cover-up for high cholesterol on “Fat Free” or “No Trans Fat” packages. The first thing I thought was, “OMG. No cheese. No cookies. No butter. No BACON!”

Oh yeah, and she also prescribed Lipitor. Yup. I tried getting out of it by telling her I would cure myself by eating better and exercising (like I did back in 2008 with the diabetes) but she said no way; it was too high and I needed to take the pill. It really sucks. I had a bit of a hard time dealing with it for a few days.

It’s a pretty known fact that I love food. My Facebook and Instagram streams are probably 70% pics of food that I make, or food that I’m eating at restaurants. I just love food. The expression “sad” is an understatement for how I feel about having to make grand changes in the way I eat.

There’s no better way to kick your ass into gear than being told you have extremely high cholesterol. So my meals went from:

Cream cheese and bacon stuffed mushrooms with Parmesan on top
Cream cheese and bacon stuffed mushrooms with Parmesan on top
Lunch at Mambo Seafood
Lunch at Mambo Seafood

(FYI, Mambo Seafood’s service SUCKS. Jessica and I were 30 minutes late to work and I never got my cocktail sauce!!)

To this:

Grilled chicken salad
Grilled chicken salad
Oatmeal, honey, blueberries, strawberries and bananas
Oatmeal, honey, blueberries, strawberries and bananas
Whiting with avocado sauce and garlic asparagus
Whiting with avocado sauce and garlic asparagus
Baked chicken, guac and green beans
Baked chicken, guac and green beans
Homemade stir fry
Homemade stir fry
Homemade hummus (LOVED THIS!)
Homemade hummus (LOVED THIS!)

I got that hummus recipe from Pinterest, but instead of using white beans used the traditional chick peas and OMG. Seriously the BEST hummus I’ve ever had! I just wish I could find a good, healthy, low-cholesterol store-bought pita bread or a recipe for a good one. It wasn’t bad with celery at all. Jorge wasn’t too fond of it. He did the whole *aherk* thing, so boo LOL. More for me!

So it’s not too bad, but man I miss my cheese. And bacon. And beer brats. Waah.

I’ll get over it, and maybe, hopefully used to it. I thought of food all the time before, and now it’s even worse. Before I eat anything I research it. I research my recipes for the day. I have so much to re-learn. And it sucks to be surrounded by food at work (donuts, chocolate chip cookies from Jason’s Deli, grapefruits that I can’t have because it clashes with my medication, etc.). I seriously felt like this on Friday:


I almost resent and detest people as I see them stuffing delicious food in their mouth, but I have to pep-talk myself into not cursing them 🙁 . Jorge is certain that my test results were wonky and incorrect, but I don’t know. I was eating badly. And then I was doing the Keto diet and stopped suddenly and started stuffing my face with carbs, so maybe that had something to do with it? It’s been almost a year since I’d started Keto. I started after my birthday in April and stopped around July 4th. So who knows. I wasn’t going hardcore or anything with the red meats and say, Bulletproof (butter in my) coffee. I’ll have to ask next month when I go in for a follow-up.

Wish me luck on this new journey!! I kind of feel like I’m damned, but by golly, I WILL get over this darn thing! I will get off the pill!