Uneasiness and Tangents

Did I even spell that title correctly? Hmm…anyway. I’m all alone with my thoughts; for the past few hours. Jorge is working (yes, this late) and the kids aren’t here this weekend 🙁 but they’d probably be asleep by now anyway if they were. Briana, Mia, Joyce and the kids were here earlier, but they’ve since gone home 🙁 . My dinner ended up being an iced coffee from Starbucks, where I picked up a gift card earlier.

Anyway, we caught up and talked and I learned some annoying shit that’s happened recently, but it’s not my place to say anything about it. And I hate it. Because I want to scream and tell people off and just be a total bitch about these things I have no control over. The anger’s been festering in my gut for the past few hours that I feel nauseous and hungry all at the same time. I was going to get up and make an anger-filled chocolate mug cake, but I felt too lazy to. And then I thought I’d get a Carb Smart ice cream pop thing but that also required getting up from this chair and nah. But I also don’t feel hungry, which is progress for me in hindsight, since I would have devoured an entire box of Carb Smart in the past. Yay me.

I tried finishing my Calaca wreath but wasn’t into it. I started laundry, but haven’t put it in the dryer yet. I started browsing though job postings since I received an e-mail and I have A.D.D. but everything sucks. Started looking for that stupid book I need to study because my brain has forgotten everything it learned all these years (HOW was I valedictorian and salutatorian, HOW??), but I got distracted again and said, “Hmm, I haven’t blogged in a while…” 🙄

Can you believe I feel guilty for feeling angry? That’s what’s wrong with me: I can never just be MAD. I feel guilty and ungrateful for being angry. I had a great day of shopping (that’s what happens when Jorge leaves me alone too long) and not even that helped. Well, it did for a little bit, heh.

I used up coupons left and right and managed to find a black dress at Old Navy for our Annual Banquet. It was comfy and I liked it at the store, but in no way, shape, or form is it “cocktail attire”. Then I saw this other dress online just a while ago, but I’m sure it’s about $75 and I’m NOT paying that for a dress I’ll wear one time.

I also finally found my mustard-colored cardigan. I was really hoping to find one at Goodwill, or eBay, but no luck. So I paid $10 for a legit new one 😆 . Now I need to fix that blouse with the foxes on it that I absolutely had to have a mustard-colored cardigan for. I bought it in medium in March and now it’s huge. I literally wore it once. One of the negatives of dropping 2 sizes 😕 .

Which is why I’m scouring Goodwill and clearance racks for pants. All of my jeans, shorts and work pants are cinched at the waist with safety pins since losing weight, and it looks pretty bad because it clumps under my blouses. I got lucky last month when I found 2 red pants (one brand-new from Old Navy and brand-new Calvin Klein ones, both with tags). This month I found a denim jacket (in extra small, WHAT), 2 dresses (one from Gap with tags) and a cute sweater from Aeropostale. I think I spent $10 or less on all that!

Here’s one of the dresses and the jacket:

(Yes, my cats are indeed enormous!)

I realized today as Mom and I walked to the car from visiting Gramma that my thighs 100% don’t rub when I walk in a dress anymore! That’s a darn non-scale victory in itself! Oh! And I tried on pants at Kohl’s (I had Kohl’s cash, woo!), and I fit into a SIZE. 3. THREE. Tres. I haven’t been size 3 since I was 17!!! And I have a post all about my 5-month Keto experience and progress, but obviously I never finished it, but I seriously weigh the lowest as an adult, EVER. I seriously love Keto, no joke.

Ok. I should go check on the darn laundry. Or pay bills online. Or you know, wash my face, brush my teeth and go to bed? Meh.

Keto Pizza Dip

Guys. I’m crazy about this Keto Pizza Dip. I’d been thinking about the dip John made for us when he lived here; it was the creamiest, best thing ever. I sorta still remembered the gist of what he did, but I knew he used the stove-top and the oven and ain’t nobody got time for dat!!

It was around 2:30pm when I got home and I was hungry. So I got to work!

This is a really forgiving recipe, as you’ll be able to tell from my ingredients 😆 . It’s very versatile and you can add/omit ingredients as you see fit.

You’ll Need:

A 2-cup microwave-safe dish (I have an awesome little Anchor Hocking one)
A microwave
Either 2 slices of cheese of your choice (I used gouda) or 1/4 cup of mozzarella
2 Tblsp. heavy whipping cream
A few dashes of: pepper or peppercorns, garlic powder, Italian Seasoning, and oregano
2 Tblsp. cream cheese, softened
1 Tblsp. sour cream
1 Tblsp. shredded or grated parmesan
A small stack of pepperonis, about 8-10 slices, cut into 4ths
A small bunch of green onions, snipped into thin rings
A good handful of fresh spinach, chopped
1-2 Tblsp. of nacho jalapenos
2 Tblsp. of bacon pieces or bits
2 Tblsp. Fransisco Rinaldi spaghetti sauce (has 3 net carbs and 2 g of sugar)
A handful of shredded cheese (mozzarella, or your choice) for the “topping”
3 additional pepperonis for the “topping”

Directions:

Place your slices of cheese or 1/4 cup of shredded cheese and heavy whipping cream into your 2-cup bowl. Microwave for 30 seconds.

Mix the cheese/heavy cream mixture and mix in your parmesan.

Then mix in your spices.

Next, stir in your softened cream cheese and sour cream.

Once everything is nice and incorporated, mix in your chopped meats and veggies, making sure to mix well and then “flatten” your mixture with a spoon.

Now, don’t dig in just yet!! Top the “flattened” mixture with a layer of sauce.

Then take your handful of shredded cheese and top the sauce with it (I only had a Mexican Blend on hand, but it worked!).

Top your cheese with the 3 pepperonis and microwave the mix for 1 1/2 minutes. Since microwave ovens vary, check for over-bubbling. You don’t want to burn your dip!

Grab some chicharrones, crispy pepperonis, celery, or even wings and gobble up this ridiculous dip!