Category: Bitching

I don’t know what gave me the desire to want to actually use and mess with my website (this website that I’ve been paying for and never use, heh), but I downloaded my FTP again and started fixing things here and there. I’m so sad that for some reason (Vista, maybe?) my radio.blog player won’t upload the new music I wanted to put in it. Oh well. I’ll figure it out later, I guess.

Tons has gone on since I last updated. TONS. Big, life-changing, monumental stuff. It’s amazing how much can go on in 3 months. That’s WHY I didn’t really want to update. Not much good happened. I won’t go into detail–because really, I’d like to forget a lot of those things. Lets just say two Saturdays spent with friends (& family) Downtown turned into a complete disaster. Miscommunication & misunderstandings almost caused 2 couples to split up, mine being one of them. It wasn’t really just those two nights in particular that began the domino-effect of problems–everything really began months before but neither of us ever noticed. Or tried not to, in my case.

I’m completely embarrassed that those who follow me on Facebook were witness to some of the drama. These past three months have shown me that sometimes some friends can be closer than family (SOME), family can turn their back on you at the drop of a hat and people you thought you knew–well, you realize you still have a lot to learn about them. I realized who my true friends were. I realized that my comfortable little life could have quickly been swept from under me, even though I never did anything to make that so.

It was just a strange and crazy 3 months. My birthday didn’t feel like my birthday. We went to IKEA, which was a trip we were super excited about & bought some pretty awesome stuff–but the happiness was short-lived when we ended up getting into an argument there. I was on the verge of divorce by Mother’s Day. (I was going to try and avoid mentioning that, but it’s part of my history so I guess I should.) By the end of May, Mario and I were reconciling. By the first week of June, Mario was leaving to training for 3 months. He was gone for only 2 weeks and I realized I missed him like crazy. I wished the past 3 months could have been rewound and we could have spent those months loving each other and spending time together with the kids. The kids didn’t really notice much; well, the younger 3. Eenan did and even tearfully asked me once while Mario and I were separated if our family was breaking apart. I told him no, that we were working on it, not to worry. And thankfully, we did.

In all my years on this planet, and all the years Mario and I were together I never, ever thought we would get to the point we were at. I never understood how people could be together for so long and then *boom*, they split up. I never thought it would happen to us in a million years. I’m just glad we could come out of that. We still have a lot to work on, but I’m glad we can help each other and do it together.

I don’t know if it was something in the water, the alignment of the stars/planets, but SOMETHING caused just about every couple I know to fight and split up; most splits were over petty things. That’s what was most frustrating: witnessing all these things and knowing it all could have been prevented somehow.

We got to take a little trip to Del Rio, TX while Mario was getting ready to leave. Took the kids for tours around the city and took in the beautiful scenery & old buildings. Took them to the Whitehead Memorial Museum, which they surprisingly enjoyed. We even got a chance to visit Lake Amistad–gorgeous, gorgeous lake!

And since Mario’s been back and while he’s looking for a new job we’ve been cooking together, watching movies almost every night and spending time with the kiddos, like in the old days. I’m so grateful for Jorge and Maggie, who adopted me while Mario was gone LOL. He was only gone 2 weeks but it felt like months. They came over Sunday night and it’s official: Maggie and Jorge are expecting!! We are all, of course, hoping it’s a girl!

Adan, Aide & their kiddos moved to Dallas and I miss her terribly, as Alaethia misses her Best Fwend Bellie :(. She became one of my best friends in recent months and I miss her so much!

Our newest home improvement project is the kitchen! We’ve gotten a spiffy black countertop installed and purchased a few new cabinets. Next is picking our wall paint and sanding all the existing cabinets down and painting them white. I CAN’T WAIT to see everything done!

I’m still, somewhat, doing my workouts. We were supposed to finish our round of P90X on the 28th of June, but we stopped the week of May 17th, then started again 3 weeks later, only to do 1 week of P90X and start on Insanity at the beginning of this week. Mario, John and I went jogging on Sunday and, as I suspected, got majorly painful shin splints. So I was already injured Day 1 of Insanity (which was the Fit Test, and only 20 minutes). Yesterday’s workout was Plyometrics & I further injured myself, not to mention the agonizing soreness in my calves. I couldn’t even walk this morning so I let the guys know I wasn’t going. I found out later we weren’t going to end up working out anyway ’cause our workout partner is out doing work in preparation for the hurricane. Yes, we are waiting for Hurricane Alex to make landfall sometime this evening. Not here, in Mexico, but we’re going to get lots of rain and wind. I just hope it doesn’t flood :(. My bedroom, which leaks from a window when it rains a lot has already started leaking. I just noticed the bottom of my side table is warped :(. I love the rain, but I hate the leaking!!

We’re going to watch a movie before the lights go out LOL. I really do hope everyone’s safe. And I really wish to start updating again! I think it would be better than updating Myspace & Facebook every half hour, heh.

I’m in such a shitty mood right now. I don’t even know WHERE to begin. I guess I’ll begin from the beginning.

I woke up with a feeling of foreboding. The boys and my Taekwondo test (yellow-advanced to orange belt) is tomorrow and I just felt so nervous, especially about the sparring part *stomach flips*. I was possibly even more nervous about the fact that my period is about 3 weeks late, give or take, and I’m REALLY praying it doesn’t decide to make an appearance (literally) DURING my test!

I know I can’t be pregnant since I had my tubal (I REALLY hope I’m not. Everyone always cheerfully reminds me, “You COULD be the 1%!”), so since I’m not, what the hell else is going on? The hypochondriac in me starts replaying all those Mystery Diagnosis episodes I’ve ever seen that have anything to do with the uterus.

I had to wake up early because I had an appointment, so I got ready and tried to shake the feeling away. Ate a quick breakfast of milk, homemade Rice Crispies Treat and a banana (I know, gross). Mom came over to watch the girls, Mario left to work and I went to the appointment. Appointment was over and then I went to Walmart for a few things.

I’m driving home and see the Golden Arch up ahead. I felt really down and thought, An iced coffee and some chocolate chip cookies should cheer me up! So there I go to the McDonald’s drive thru. I know better. I’d been eating really well and avoiding junk food (I’m finally at 119 lbs. My goal is 110). BUT. Since I know that Luis (my TKD instructor), John and I and several others are starting P90X this coming Sunday at 12 noon, I’ve been eating everything in sight, weather it’s healthy or not. My logic is, “Ehh, after Sunday I’mma lose all these pounds and calories!”

I get home and John’s already here, paying his bills online. He shakes his head in disappointment when I emerge through the door with my medium coffee and cookies in hand. I tell him how I’ve been stuffing my face like there’s no tomorrow and he bursts out laughing and says, “Me too!”

Spend some time with the girls and I wash dishes while they eat lunch. Then I eat lunch. I could hardly eat, partly because I felt disgusting and gluttonous from my 500 calorie snack (I looked it up) and partly because I felt nauseous and had a headache thinking about my test. I can’t think about it without my heart skipping a beat and my stomach flipping. I know I’ve got the basics and kicks down, and maybe even breaking the boards with no problem, but the SPARRING! Ernesto’s pairing me with 2 14-year-olds, one of which is Luis’ COUSIN and has competed before and fights like a guy! The other’s a white belt, but she’s taller and both are much faster than I am! I know, I know: I should stop being so hard on myself and think positive. But I’ve never actually fought anyone “for real” before! When I “spar” against Ernesto or Luis, they’re teaching me techniques and letting me kick them! I don’t feel prepared at all!

I got Alaethia ready and we picked up the boys from school. Got a summary of their day, helped Eenan with homework and then started getting ready for TKD. I seriously felt like barfing just thinking of going.

I get there and Ernesto’s on time LOL. I start stretching and Esther gets there with her son. (She’s the girl now taking class with me; Norma dropped out around November.) We start jogging, then take turns doing kicks. Then we take turns beating up Bob (the dummy LOL) or kickboxing with Ernesto. Luis arrives as we’re doing that and then Mary, Alaethia and the boys arrive. As we’re getting ready to put on the chest protectors and head gear, two dads show up with their kids. Great! An audience! I hate that >_<. Well we start sparring. I'm actually doing pretty good, getting 2, 3 kicks in and Esther's doing pretty good seeing as how it's her first time. Ernesto separates us, gives us some tips and gets after me for not using any of the techniques he showed me during Saturday's practice. So we start again. I'm blocking, kicking, sliding back, kicking and then I blocked a kick Esther was heading towards me WITH MY FIST! Her knee pushed my wrist into my arm joint. The same wrist that I've had that Ganglion Cyst in for the past 2 years. The same cyst that had JUST popped about 2 weeks ago after doing pushups in class. It popped again and I seriously thought I broke my wrist. I was just going to try and continue, but when I tried to close my first I said, "OW!" and clutched my fist to my chest. Ernesto came over to see what happened. He asked if I could move my fingers and I almost threw up and passed out when I saw my fingers just DANGLING there. I kept trying to make my brain make my fingers move but nothing happened! He started to massage pressure points along my arm and FINALLY, I began to feel my fingers again. It was the worst shooting pain from my finger tips, to my wrist, to my elbow. It was like hitting your funny bone really hard, times 10! I was so embarrassed on top of being in the worst pain in my life. I couldn't believe how stupidly I reacted; why didn't I just slide back and kick instead of trying to block?? I sat in complete agony while the boys were in class. I kept trying to move my fingers and pump my fist, but every little movement I made was awful. The boys' class was finally over and I drove to the ATM to get cash out, since Mary had paid for my test so I wouldn't have to drive so soon after my injury. We get to Aziz and as I slide out of the seat I feel a terrible pain in my knee. I had a HUGE welt! I hadnt even noticed I'd been hit there, or my shin LOL.

The pain in my wrist overrode everything else. I vaguely remember Esther kicking really low, so I’m sure a few more bruises will show up tomorrow!

Mary made sandwiches for the boys and Mom fed the girls. I had leftover nachos from yesterday, even though I shouldn’t have. But it was the lovely comfort food I needed right now. I can’t wait for Mario to get home. I need to be cuddled.

John made me feel a tad bit better when I was texting him about my ordeal and I tell him, “And that’s because we were just practicing! Imagine tomorrow when I fight a girl 14 years younger than me and a belt more advanced!” He replies, “You must fight to win, grasshoppa!” LMAO! That’s why I love my brudder!

I just hope I feel well enough to test tomorrow! And if I do, I hope I don’t come out injured any worse than I did today! Luis’ cousin, I’m told, mostly kicks to the head!! This type of stuff is what makes me want to just drop out and not continue. I hate sparring! It’s not like I’m ever going to compete. I don’t want to be a quitter, and I don’t want to seem weak, though. One thing’s for sure though: I’m never blocking with my fist at that angle ever again!

(You know, I’m glad I still have you, blog. Even though I neglect you, you’re always there for me when I need you. I feel tons better after getting all this off my chest!)

I’m so bad at updating everything. Well, except of course Twitter/Tweetdeck, which automatically sends everything to Myspace and Facebook. I’d started the whole 365 thing on Flickr–not joining the groups or anything, just for myself really–and I think I got to day 7 or 8 and that was it! I was hoping at least keeping up with that since I do a crappy job of keeping up with this blog. Oh well!

Mario and I were supposed to be working on the plans for our hopeful, future kitchen/dining room remodel, but he says he was waiting for me all day to talk about it and I was busy. Of course I was busy! I was getting the rest of the stuff I needed for Alaethia’s birthday this weekend (and I still forgot the helium tank, 2 bags of tortilla chips and mayo) and then I got home and cleaned and then I took the boys to Taekwondo. Luis, the instructor, gave them kind of like a pop quiz. The boys almost ended up having to go back to the white belt class for extra practice! They’ve gotta perfect their form by Thursday or else!

Anyway, so yeah. After I made dinner and fed all the kids (Rolando included; he came to visit after TKD) I came over to the living room where Mario was on his laptop so we could start jotting down plans for the remodel. We’ve been sitting here for at least 2 hours on our respective laptops and I keep bringing it up but he says now he’s not in the mood. Makes me so mad!

Well, since he won’t hear me out, I’ll jot down my ideas here. We’re both thinking of completely flipping the dining room and kitchen, kind of like what Sally and Pete did at their house. So when you’re walking in the from the living room, it would be living room, dining room and then kitchen. The only problem is the darn bathroom! It’s right next to the dining room right now, which I HATE! We’re thinking of completely flipping the bathroom around making a tiny hallway for it. I was thinking of making a partition wall next to the hallway, so that it’s not RIGHT THERE next to the kitchen when we remodel. But I don’t know. Mario doesn’t like the idea because he says it’ll take away from the cabinet space. We’re going to have so much more room anyway if we do flip it!

And in the dining room, I want to make that awkward angled wall a mostly chalkboard wall with a cork board on one side, with a nice moulding around them/separating them. I also want a credenza or hutch or something with shelves and doors to hide the kids’ game boards, crayons, notebooks and anything else they usually leave lying around in the dining room. BUT, Mario doesn’t like the idea of cabinets in there. Poo.

(…1 1/2 hrs. later…) Well we finally went in there, measured and taped things off. We’re going to have to do some major changes in there to get the counter space we want. Like moving the hallway entrance (to the bedrooms) from the dining room to the kitchen (were the awkward wall is) and then the rest of the space on that wall will be chalkboard for the kids! The bathroom doorway will be moved completely to the opposite side with a partition wall so the door way’s not THAT close to the kitchen. We’ll have a top-to-bottom pantry where the bathroom door used to be and we’re going to hopefully have enough space for an island with cabinets for the bigger appliances and pots/pans and a space for my cookbooks. I’m so excited, you have no idea. Unfortunately, though, we’re going to have to do it all little by little since we’re on a tight budget. But we can do it. Just gotta have a little patience with our situation…and each other LOL.