Category: Grr

I’m in such a shitty mood right now. I don’t even know WHERE to begin. I guess I’ll begin from the beginning.

I woke up with a feeling of foreboding. The boys and my Taekwondo test (yellow-advanced to orange belt) is tomorrow and I just felt so nervous, especially about the sparring part *stomach flips*. I was possibly even more nervous about the fact that my period is about 3 weeks late, give or take, and I’m REALLY praying it doesn’t decide to make an appearance (literally) DURING my test!

I know I can’t be pregnant since I had my tubal (I REALLY hope I’m not. Everyone always cheerfully reminds me, “You COULD be the 1%!”), so since I’m not, what the hell else is going on? The hypochondriac in me starts replaying all those Mystery Diagnosis episodes I’ve ever seen that have anything to do with the uterus.

I had to wake up early because I had an appointment, so I got ready and tried to shake the feeling away. Ate a quick breakfast of milk, homemade Rice Crispies Treat and a banana (I know, gross). Mom came over to watch the girls, Mario left to work and I went to the appointment. Appointment was over and then I went to Walmart for a few things.

I’m driving home and see the Golden Arch up ahead. I felt really down and thought, An iced coffee and some chocolate chip cookies should cheer me up! So there I go to the McDonald’s drive thru. I know better. I’d been eating really well and avoiding junk food (I’m finally at 119 lbs. My goal is 110). BUT. Since I know that Luis (my TKD instructor), John and I and several others are starting P90X this coming Sunday at 12 noon, I’ve been eating everything in sight, weather it’s healthy or not. My logic is, “Ehh, after Sunday I’mma lose all these pounds and calories!”

I get home and John’s already here, paying his bills online. He shakes his head in disappointment when I emerge through the door with my medium coffee and cookies in hand. I tell him how I’ve been stuffing my face like there’s no tomorrow and he bursts out laughing and says, “Me too!”

Spend some time with the girls and I wash dishes while they eat lunch. Then I eat lunch. I could hardly eat, partly because I felt disgusting and gluttonous from my 500 calorie snack (I looked it up) and partly because I felt nauseous and had a headache thinking about my test. I can’t think about it without my heart skipping a beat and my stomach flipping. I know I’ve got the basics and kicks down, and maybe even breaking the boards with no problem, but the SPARRING! Ernesto’s pairing me with 2 14-year-olds, one of which is Luis’ COUSIN and has competed before and fights like a guy! The other’s a white belt, but she’s taller and both are much faster than I am! I know, I know: I should stop being so hard on myself and think positive. But I’ve never actually fought anyone “for real” before! When I “spar” against Ernesto or Luis, they’re teaching me techniques and letting me kick them! I don’t feel prepared at all!

I got Alaethia ready and we picked up the boys from school. Got a summary of their day, helped Eenan with homework and then started getting ready for TKD. I seriously felt like barfing just thinking of going.

I get there and Ernesto’s on time LOL. I start stretching and Esther gets there with her son. (She’s the girl now taking class with me; Norma dropped out around November.) We start jogging, then take turns doing kicks. Then we take turns beating up Bob (the dummy LOL) or kickboxing with Ernesto. Luis arrives as we’re doing that and then Mary, Alaethia and the boys arrive. As we’re getting ready to put on the chest protectors and head gear, two dads show up with their kids. Great! An audience! I hate that >_<. Well we start sparring. I'm actually doing pretty good, getting 2, 3 kicks in and Esther's doing pretty good seeing as how it's her first time. Ernesto separates us, gives us some tips and gets after me for not using any of the techniques he showed me during Saturday's practice. So we start again. I'm blocking, kicking, sliding back, kicking and then I blocked a kick Esther was heading towards me WITH MY FIST! Her knee pushed my wrist into my arm joint. The same wrist that I've had that Ganglion Cyst in for the past 2 years. The same cyst that had JUST popped about 2 weeks ago after doing pushups in class. It popped again and I seriously thought I broke my wrist. I was just going to try and continue, but when I tried to close my first I said, "OW!" and clutched my fist to my chest. Ernesto came over to see what happened. He asked if I could move my fingers and I almost threw up and passed out when I saw my fingers just DANGLING there. I kept trying to make my brain make my fingers move but nothing happened! He started to massage pressure points along my arm and FINALLY, I began to feel my fingers again. It was the worst shooting pain from my finger tips, to my wrist, to my elbow. It was like hitting your funny bone really hard, times 10! I was so embarrassed on top of being in the worst pain in my life. I couldn't believe how stupidly I reacted; why didn't I just slide back and kick instead of trying to block?? I sat in complete agony while the boys were in class. I kept trying to move my fingers and pump my fist, but every little movement I made was awful. The boys' class was finally over and I drove to the ATM to get cash out, since Mary had paid for my test so I wouldn't have to drive so soon after my injury. We get to Aziz and as I slide out of the seat I feel a terrible pain in my knee. I had a HUGE welt! I hadnt even noticed I'd been hit there, or my shin LOL.

The pain in my wrist overrode everything else. I vaguely remember Esther kicking really low, so I’m sure a few more bruises will show up tomorrow!

Mary made sandwiches for the boys and Mom fed the girls. I had leftover nachos from yesterday, even though I shouldn’t have. But it was the lovely comfort food I needed right now. I can’t wait for Mario to get home. I need to be cuddled.

John made me feel a tad bit better when I was texting him about my ordeal and I tell him, “And that’s because we were just practicing! Imagine tomorrow when I fight a girl 14 years younger than me and a belt more advanced!” He replies, “You must fight to win, grasshoppa!” LMAO! That’s why I love my brudder!

I just hope I feel well enough to test tomorrow! And if I do, I hope I don’t come out injured any worse than I did today! Luis’ cousin, I’m told, mostly kicks to the head!! This type of stuff is what makes me want to just drop out and not continue. I hate sparring! It’s not like I’m ever going to compete. I don’t want to be a quitter, and I don’t want to seem weak, though. One thing’s for sure though: I’m never blocking with my fist at that angle ever again!

(You know, I’m glad I still have you, blog. Even though I neglect you, you’re always there for me when I need you. I feel tons better after getting all this off my chest!)

See? There I go with my internet ADD. I barely finished editing my post from November 18th and already I was wandering off to Facebook when I only meant to close the tab. THAT’S why I never blog anymore!

Anyway. Let me start this post from December 18th…if the girls allow it. I think, what I’m going to do to catch up with my blogs is going back and just copy/pasting all my Tweets from all the days in between posts. I’d hate for Twitter to have some kind of glitch and lose my memories!

Fri., Dec. 18th – I’d spent the entire day/night the previous day baking away for the kids’ teacher’s cookie tins. That was my gift to them this year. I made Snickerdoodles, chocolate chip cookies, mini banana muffins and Mary contributed some of her famous Pan De Polvo. I finished with everything around 11:30pm.

I called Mom over earlier than usual to watch the girls since Mario wanted me to drop him off at work. Went straight home after that.

As sore as I was from my work out at Taekwondo the previous day, I managed to busy myself around the house till it was time to pick up the boys at 1:15 (early release). My Eenan would leave me for 3 days that afternoon. He was going to Eagle Pass with my in-laws. I’ve been away from him before, like when I was giving birth to the other 3 kids and when Mario, Mary and I went to Houston with Mario’s aunts for the George Straight concert. But each of those times we were only apart for 1-2 days! This time HE was the one leaving me. I was terrified, but I knew he’d be well taken care of, of course.

He had a breakdown before he left, telling me how much he’d miss Mario, Mom and me, but I assured him we’d all be ok, he’d be ok and we’d see each other very soon. Plus, he had his cell phone to keep in contact with us.

When he left and the kiddos were all situated with Mom I left to run a few errands, like depositing Mario’s paycheck, paying a bill at the Credit Union and getting my hair cut. I was already running late, so I was hoping the lady would hurry. It was the owner this time, and not the other lady who used a razor to cut my hair the last time and totally effed it up. I figured my hair would be fine.

The little boy who was cutting his hair before me kept staring at me. I smiled at him and continued texting with John. When I looked up once he mouthed, “Help. Me.” I couldn’t help but giggle. He was so cute! Little did I know he was trying to warn me!

I told the lady exactly how I wanted my hair, and of course she did the complete opposite of what I wanted! Why do they do that! I didn’t even know how bad the damage really was until I got home, showered, blow-dried and flat-ironed my hair (which is how I usually wear it). It looked like she’d gone to town on my hair with a weed-whacker :(. I was so upset. She didn’t even CUT the length of the back, which is what I wanted done in the first place! I wanted a shorter version of what I already had! She even added bangs! Argh.

I get to TKD and, because I’d skipped lunch, was shaking. Didn’t help that I was cold and still livid about my hair cut. Class helped me sort of forget about it and I had a few laughs about the whole situation with my instructor. He even warned me not to go back to have her “fix it” because she might ruin it more. I could hear him in the back of my mind when I was getting in the van to get it “fixed”, so I didn’t go LOL. I took both instructors their cookie tins, too, before they disappeared at the house LOL.

Mario called before I had to pick him up and asked if we wanted to go to the movies to watch “Avatar”. Um, yeah! It would bring up Jaylen’s spirits since he was feeling a little bummed about Eenan not being home, which always boggles my mind because they’re constantly at each other’s throats! That’s brotherly love for ya.

Alaethia was excited as soon as she heard “movies”. I think she mainly likes to go for the popcorn LOL.

Elda offered to watch Emmy for us, which was awesome of her. I took them a plate of cookies and all of her things and as soon as I knew she was alright we took off.

The movie was…AWESOME. It just was. I didn’t think I’d like it but I LOVED it! Jason and Mirella just so happened to walk in as we were and they sat a row above us. Jaylen was literally on the edge of his seat and Alaethia only had 1 potty break and stayed awake for the most part!

It was super foggy on the way home. I hadn’t seen that kind of fog since the months of October when I was still working at the middle school.

We got home and the girls played together with Alaethia’s old Laugh and Learn kitchen, aww. Cutest thing ever watching them interact. I can’t wait to see them both in fairy or princess dress-up clothes! Jaylen played a game on the Xbox even though it was late; he just got ungrounded that day after the long grounding both boys had. We had some celery & ranch (even Emmy got in on that) and we went to bed about half an hour later.

Even though I missed my Nano terribly, it was a perfect evening. Totally made up for the hair cut!

Thurs., Nov. 12th – It was Mario’s 28th birthday! He decided to go to work instead of getting the day off, and getting out early that evening and then again on Saturday. I ran errands for both Moms that day, came home, picked up the boys from school, got ready for Taekwondo and had my class. I received my last two tapes from Ernesto that day. He had me doing kind of a practice test and helped me “perfect” my form and kicks and everything. I still have to practice the form some more (I know it by heart, but I get so nervous when I have to perform it in front of the instructors or when someone else is doing it at the same time! And I have to get over that because I’m going to be performing it in front of a lot of people the day of the test!).

The boys had Report Card Night that evening, so I got home, freshened up and took them straight to the school. They did really well; both got All A Honor Roll! So proud :)! Eenan’s sitting apart from the rest of the kids, right next to the teacher, since he distracts the other kids when he’s done with his work, but he said he doesn’t mind sitting next to her. She’s so patient! She’s so calm about it all though and for that, he adores her :).

Jaylen of course got nothing but good reviews from his teacher. She said she wished she could have 50 Jaylens *beams*.

Mario was home by the time we got back and I ordered pizza and wings from Wild Coyote’s, the new pizza place near the house (which is right next to TKD so as soon as we get out we’re smacked with the delicious smell of pizza and you just want to ruin your whole work out…anyway…).

Anyway, Mary and I went to pick up the pizza and sodas and we just had a nice little get together here at home for Mario. Elda & Jose came over a little later and had some Tres Leches cake with us and we chit-chatted. We’d be having Mario’s “big” party on Saturday.

Mario left to have some beers with his uncles so I watched Grey’s Anatomy and hoped to get a work out in before bedtime. Didn’t happen. Alaethia or Emily needed something every 10 minutes and Emily was a little fussy so that idea went out the window. And thus started a weekend of bad eating and not being able to work it off!!

Fri., Nov. 13 – I was feeling really lazy, but I’d been promising Mom all week that we’d go to town and so I had no choice. Got the girls ready:

And just before we were going to leave, John calls asking if he can come over to do laundry. We waited for him and he went with us to Walmart. Mom did a bit of Christmas shopping, I got a few groceries and we rushed home so I could pick up the boys and then go to TKD.

Class was…alright that day. Didn’t get to practice too much for the test and the kicks were a bit more…tame that day. Not what I was looking forward to really.

The boys had class that evening, too. They enjoyed it ’cause they got to knock each other down practicing the one-step sparring. Ernesto had just made a comment about how well-behaved my boys are (they were partnered with each other) when Eenan got a little too over-eager and threw Jaylen down really hard. Oh, my boys.

We went to Jorge & Maggie’s with our girls after the boys got out of TKD. They stayed with Mary, as usual.

We had fun, had some laughs as always. I had a cranberry drink that was actually really tasty. It’s always nice hanging out with Maggie.

We left home early-ish because Mario had to work and I had to be up early to clean the house and get everything ready for Mario’s get-together Sat night.

…to be continued :P.