Category: Grr

I’m so bored. I could be cleaning or responding to e-mails, but you know me. How I love to procrastinate and then bitch about how bored I am and how I have “nothing to do”. Heh.

My damn wisdom tooth is KILLING me. My cheek looks swollen . I slathered Orajel all up in there yesterday only to have it taste like absolute crap and it didn’t help at all. It was the “junior” one even…forgive me, Eenan and Jaylen, for shoving that crap in your mouth while you were teething. I’m a horrible mother. Cherry flavored my ass .

Mary and I and the boys went searching for Eenan’s “Hawaiian” shirt and sandals yesterday for his beach themed pictures today. We shopped in under an hour, but it pissed me off we couldn’t find not ONE damn Hawaiian shirt anywhere. I checked JCPenny online and they supposedly had 4 different styles. Well, not at the store. We ended up finding one (that I wasn’t too thrilled about to begin with) at Sears and got his sandals (and some for Jaylen) at Payless.

This morning when I dropped him off at school he was in utter shock that only one other male classmate was wearing sandals and pulled me over to the other side of the hall to talk to me. He usually loves his sandals (much easier to put on than socks and tennis shoes!), but you know how kids are and he was slightly embarrassed. He kept saying Heriberto wasn’t wearing them. I asked him, “Why does it matter? You like them. Do you think he’s going to make fun of you?” He nods and he wipes tears from his eyes and I try consoling him. After 5 minutes of trying to convince him he was going to be okay, I tell him to go sit against the wall with his friends till it’s time to go into class to have breakfast. He drags me over with him so I kneel in front of him and tell him, “Look! Felipe is wearing sandals too! Aw, look how nice they are. And your other friend is wearing them, too!” He looks up a little but still felt upset. I took the chance of maybe embarrassing him a bit more and ask his other friend, Felix — who was wearing cowboy boots — if he liked Eenan’s shoes. He (thankfully) said yes. Then Felipe said he liked them, then his other friend said he liked them, then Christina and another little girl chimed in, and then Heriberto said he liked them. I told him, “You see! All your friends like your shoes, Eenan.” He wipes his eyes and cracks a smile and starts talking to everyone. I told him I was leaving and he didn’t even pay attention since he was busy chatting away. It’s so strange how even at that age what other people think of them is so important. But *whew*, I’m glad that went well. Hopefully the rest of his day is good too.

So…that’s it. I lost my train of thought since I’ve been back-and-forth on the phone with Aunt Nora and Mary for the past 30 minutes. They’re going to get John driving sometime next week. Aunt Nora’s gonna drive with him for about 3 days and then he’s off on his own. Scary. I’m sorry, I’ve been “learning to drive” since I was 14 and I couldn’t get it. I was too damn scared. Now, at 22, I’m still scared shitless but at least I can drive (somewhat), BUT I still don’t have my license. Someone needs to hypnotize me out of being petrified of driving.

Ah yes, Jaylen’s up. And he’s already screaming. Joy.

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On Monday morning, I woke up early, frosted the thousands of tiny cupcakes and got Eenan ready. They have this new thing at the school where they give out “sack lunch breakfasts” and they eat from 7:45-7:55 in class. Seemed like a tiny amount of time for them to eat — especially because my son eats at a snail’s pace — but he wanted to eat with his friends so he got ready and I dropped him off. I got back, got Mario’s clothes, lunch bag and breakfast ready and he took off. I spent the day doing laundry and cleaning. (Mary got a new washing machine…we went half-n-half…so nice to NOT have to wash by hand!!) I was slightly panicking when it was time to pick Eenan up because I didn’t know who was picking him up and I didn’t want a recurrence of last year to happen. I called Noelia at around 2:45 because she wasn’t here yet and I usually leave at 3. She was in McAllen but said she’d make it. She calls back and says the car is making really ugly noises and to try and call Sonia to see if she’d pick him up. I call, and she was out with Mary, who’d gotten out of work early. I call her back and she said the car was over-heating and had to stop on the side of the road. So I call Vito, and he said yes, we’d pick up Eenan and then Noelia. Jaylen was asleep so I had to haul his heavy little ass all over the place. Mary had just gotten here so she went with us. We picked Eenan up, who was all thrilled over his candies and Valentine’s cards. Then we went to where Noey was. We picked her up, got the part (a belt tore off and was completely shredded), then Mary drove us all back (because Eenan kept claiming he was “melting and was going to die”) and Vito stayed fixing the Geo.

At home, I continued with laundry and figured I’d start on dinner around 6:30-7. Noey came over and asked if I could help her with some cookies. Since we’d never made those kinds of cookies, it took us a while (mostly trying to tell if they were done or not). By the time we finished it was almost 7. I hadn’t finished cleaning and all I had time to do was make the lasagna. I wanted everything to be perfect…I wanted candles lit, our songs playing, I wanted my hair fixed and I was actually going to wear a dress, and I wanted the house spotless by the time Mario got home. None of that happened…and even one of the two floating candles on the table didn’t want to stay lit. AND I didn’t even have time to make the chocolate covered strawberries OR give the kids a bath! But it was okay. He got home, gave me yet another gift (The Notebook DVD–which I’d told him not to since I got the camera!!) and we ate together by 1 candlelight LOL. He was tired, so he watched some TV while I got the boys ready for bed. Then we cuddled and went to sleep. Hopefully our anniversary next month will be a bit more romantic.

Yesterday was the usual — not much happened during the day. I’ve been having the strangest dreams lately. A few weeks ago I wouldn’t even remember what I dreamt (dreamed? dram? whatever) about the night before. At the end of last week I had an ugly dream, probably because I’d been watching the Passions soap all week . The next night, I had one where some woman was laying on the ground, freshly murdered, with her eyes gouged out of her face (probably because I’d been watching Medium before I went to bed). Two nights ago I had one where we were at Eenan’s school, and they asked him a question. He, for some reason, tells the teacher, “But I’m dirty!!” And she shoots a look of disgust at me and says, “Maybe your Mom should take you a bath!” I felt that guilty about not giving them a shower LOL. When I was taking a nap with Jaylen yesterday morning I had two dreams: one where I was still in highschool and was watching TV while getting ready and by the time I looked at the clock, it was 11:35, so I stayed home LOL. I woke up because I heard a loud noise, then I went back to bed and had a dream about how we were at South Padre Island because I was competing in a dance competition and was practicing my moves. ME?!? DANCE?!?! Buahahaha…hilarious. Don’t know where that one came from…though I did have the TV on VH1 when I fell asleep?

Anyway, in the dream after I “practiced” dancing, it started to snow. I remember telling myself, “This is the 3rd time it’s snowed this year!” (Yeah right…it was a miracle it snowed ONCE in the last 190-some years.) I was walking in the snow, got to some house where some girl was almost frozen and sitting outside. I open the door and tell her to come in and she tells me no, to close the door. I was like, “OK, then.” LOL. And then I woke up because Mary called. I need to look those dreams up. I’ve never remembered them in such detail either .

At night, we went to Jorge’s. Art was there . He’s back from Cali and here to stay for good. Hiram and the other Mario were there, too. We laughed and joked, then it got a bit boring towards the end because all Jorge and Mario were talking about was work LOL. It was good getting out of the house anyway.

Mary told me how Eenan had been crying because he wants a baby sister. He goes through those phases LOL. He told Mary he’d take care of her and wouldn’t fight with her at all. Aww . I want a daughter, too, but I also want to go to school first, get a good job, buy a house and then I’ll have one. Hopefully I won’t be old and gray by then LOL.

Okay…gonna go find some Ambesol or Orajel or whatever they’re called. Mary darn wisdom tooth is bugging me and then I have to get ready to go buy Eenan’s shoes and shirt. I’m so sleepy.

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I should be getting my highlights right now, but I’m not. The brother decided to bail. I IM’d him yesterday after I realized he wasn’t coming and asked him what was up. He responded with, “I’ve got some shit to do, sorry!” Mom called later on and she mentions that John didn’t want to come over because he “didn’t want to watch my kids”. I tell her, “Oh, he said he had something to do.” And she said, “Yeah right, he’s been playing Playstation since he got home.” Nice. Last time I do him any favors.

The big garage sale/flea market was today also. And of course, I’m not going to that either. I’m going to spend yet another day, stuffed in this house, with the kids and the smelly pets. *plays violin* I’m tired of that cat. Not only do I have to clear out her litter box twice a day, but I have to swat her every 5 minutes because she’s either on top of the table, the stove, or laying on top of the gerbil’s cage on top of the entertainment center because she’s just waiting to eat him. She broke a candle holder last night and then knocked down a spindle of CD’s. The rabbit won’t stop peeing and is stinkin’ up my house. When will the madness end?!?

My “bad luck” didn’t end the last day I posted. That day, the darn washer took a crap while I was washing jeans. The water wouldn’t drain, let alone spin. I had to hand wring all the damn jeans and then dry them. I got a blister from all the wringing . I’ve had to wash Mario’s work uniforms by hand every night since then, since he’s only got 2 darn uniforms. (He won’t get more because they’re supposed to get new uniforms “soon”.) Bless my mother, who hand washed our clothes for the longest time. We were joking last night at Jorge and Maggie’s about how I deserve a new Dooney .

As for Eenan’s glasses, I was positive I’d had the glasses with me in the car, and didn’t bother calling the salon as Noelia suggested. I was certain I didn’t leave them there. When it was almost 5 Mary got here and said maybe I should call the salon, just in case. So she called for me, and they were there . I asked the lady where they found them and she said they were on a seat. When I got them, they were kind of crooked. I’m wondering if I dropped them outside and someone took them in and left them on the seat. I don’t remember leaving them there at all. But anyway, I’m just glad we found them.

Wednesday was Ash Wednesday, and Mary invited me to go to church with her and Noelia. The whole time I was sitting there (sitting because Jaylen had fallen asleep, and my back could not handle standing, sitting, kneeling and carrying him), I was rehearsing in my head what I would confess. I hadn’t confessed in 8 years. I was so nervous, almost shaking when it was my turn after Mary to confess. What made me even more nervous, was that there was no private little booth; we were out in the open sitting there, face-to-face with the Priest. I got about 2 things out, then totally choked. I went completely blank. Didn’t help I couldn’t understand what the man was saying because he was speaking very softly and had a strange accent.

Mario called me that night and was so upset. He was frustrated with work and frustrated that he didn’t have Thursday off after all. He got home and we just stood there, holding eachother. It broke my heart to see him so upset. We were going to watch a movie and he just ended up falling asleep instead.

The next day, he bought a stereo and didn’t get employee price, which sort of pissed him off, but it’s a nice stereo so he didn’t complain much. If he has Sunday off, he’s going to install it in the car. He’s so burned out from work. They all are actually, from what the guys were talking about last night at Jorge’s. We got home at 1:30am, ate “dinner” and then he went to sleep at around 2. He couldn’t even get out of bed this morning. I hope he’s ok during the day.

Eenan was upset because Thursday was “Father/Son reading night” at the school. Since Mario wasn’t able to go after all, I asked Ms. O. if it would be alright if I took him. She said, “Sure, of course you can! I don’t even know why they have it this way. A lot of families don’t even have fathers present, y’know?” I asked Mary if she’d like to go with me and she said yes. So we went. We were supposed to meet at the library, but they called us to the cafeteria. I walk in there, and standing in a huge circle, were a whole bunch of fathers with their sons. I felt so weird . They were doing this whole introduction where the dad would introduce his son, state his interests and the son would do the same thing. They didn’t get to me, Thank God. We had to do all this happy, hippy, group crap, where we discussed how we should help our kids with their homework, and other junk parents should already be doing, but obviously don’t. I was so ready to leave, especially when the kids became irritated and hyper because they’d been sitting there so damn long. I thought we were there to read to the kids?! After about 45 minutes of torture discussions, they finally lead us to the library. The boys didn’t even want to listen to stories by then. Eenan ended up getting a story from the library, read it and tested on it. He got all the answers correct and we left. They picked out a whole bunch of free books they were giving out and we came home. Never again. At first I was annoyed with the kids for misbehaving so much, but then I realized it wasn’t their fault. It was the school’s for tricking us .

I called Mario that night and was all annoyed with him. I was bitching how it was almost 9pm and he still hadn’t called me and isn’t he supposed to get out at 7?? and hung up on him. I was that frustrated. He called back and told me how he had a bad day and that I wasn’t helping. I immediately felt like an ass and appologized. He got home and we ate dinner together (which doesn’t happen all too often anymore) and cuddled on the couch to watch the movies he’d rented. We only got to watch The Terminal, which was a really sweet movie. Then we had the most wonderful “alone time” we’d had in the longest time . Spending time with him really made up for my 3 days of crappiness.

I’m really hoping Mario has tomorrow off. I miss him, and so do the boys. We have bills to pay, and plans to make for the late Valentine’s night we’ll be having Monday. Still deciding whether we should celebrate tomorow instead. I don’t even know what to get him .

Random: I wish I was a celebrity who’s going to the Grammy’s JUST to get those really cool giveaways *jealous*. I think I saw a pink/black iPod!

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