Mother’s Day 2018

I was more than sure I was going to spend this Mother’s Day weekend alone–well, just Mom and me. It was bringing back memories of almost exactly 8 years ago, when Mario and I were separated before the divorce and it was his weekend with the kids. It was thee worst Mother’s Day I’d ever had. I just felt so disconnected and lonely at the time, and it felt like history was repeating itself now, but under completely different circumstances, of course.

Jorge started a new project away from home a week ago. Since it was a brand-new project, and I knew he had time constraints, and the kids would be with the other parents this year I had already conceded to the fact that I was going to have a rather lonely holiday.

The girls were leaving on Thursday with their dad, but he had some things to do so the girls got to hang out with me a bit longer :). We snuggled on the couch to watch Grey’s Anatomy, where they both used me as a pillow 😀 .

I was a wreck and the girls cried, too. JAPRIL, man. Never gonna get over it!!

We got some last-minute burgers and made it back right on time for Mary to pick up the girls. I was still bawling from Grey’s, and from the girls leaving. AND from realizing that it was the start of a lonely weekend. BUT I put on my big-girl panties and went for a run. And talked to Jorge on the phone and whined about how shitty I felt. I regretted watching Grey’s, as I pinpointed that episode as the root cause of my sudden depression. 🙄 Everything else was just bonus sadness, I guess.

Friday was a quiet day at work, but co-workers from another department were visiting so we chatted for a bit. The group that was visiting was making plans to go to lunch so I was going to tag along. At the last minute it ended up being just 2 of us. We ended up at 5 Guys Burgers and Fries where I had a Little Bacon Cheeseburger with extra bacon and cheese (Keto Tip: they don’t charge for extra bacon and cheese when you order a bacon cheeseburger!) It made the afternoon go by faster, getting out of the office for a bit.

Mom and I started off the weekend by seeing Frankie Valli in concert Friday night! It was John’s Mother’s Day gift to us, which was really awesome of him.

We ate at Taco Rico (Mom’s choice), and I kept it Keto.

(Well, except for the beans, heh.)

Then we left to the Performing Arts Center. Of course, Ticketmaster never ceases to fuck my night up–once again, my tickets didn’t “work”. Apparently they weren’t saving the text with the barcode so it wouldn’t scan 🙄 . So I had to leave Mom in the lobby, go back outside to the box office, and get the 3rd degree from the lady at the window. After 10 long and sweaty minutes, I finally got a little notepaper with permission to enter the premises. Geez.

I needed a drink after that, so I found our seats and escorted Mom and got myself some whiskey and Diet Coke (low carb!).

And finally, the concert started and it was magical–it really was. It was so nice to hear Mom singing along and I knew most of the songs too. It was pretty awesome when “Can’t Keep My Eyes Off You” came on and the entire theater was singing their heart out. And Grease!

It was a really good concert!

And we made it to my car before the throngs of people started spilling out, so that was a bonus!

The even better cherry on top was that Jorge said he was coming home after all! And I made arrangements with Mario to pick the girls up on Saturday to spend time together! So that was a huge relief!

I started the next morning off with a run. I remembered why I prefer running in the evening…it was only 9am and the sun was already starting to beat down on my face and it was quickly becoming a humid, sweltering day. I got home and made myself some breakfast.

Then I showered and got ready to pick up the kiddos. Jaylen was doing community service and Eenan decided to tag along at the last minute so it would only be us 4.

I asked if they wanted food, ice cream or Starbucks and of course they chose Starbucks. I only had an iced coffee as I planned to “fast” during lunch.

Then we went to buy flowers for the moms and Gramma’s grave at HEB. And some Halo Top for me and other little groceries. Oh yes. And a new wine-based Margarita mix. They were having tastings and they had me at ‘Hello’! It would be perfect for when we met up with Dinah later.

We headed home and Jaylen was dropped off shortly. Eenan introduced us to a cartoon on Netflix called Aggretsuko, because he said he assumed it was how it was for me at work. Well, my previous work lol. Sure enough, we were able to compare real co-workers with characters 😆

We got hungry eventually so we ordered a botana from Taco Ole…and I was NOT able to stay strict Keto. Those darn tortilla chips are my FAVORITE.

We hung out and lazied-around a bit more before I had to drop them off. They were going to a party later that evening and I’d go back for them the next morning.

Jorge arrived before I got home from dropping the kids off. He ate and then we ran some errands before meeting Dinah and Javi at their hotel. We exchanged Mother’s Day gifts–Dinah and I both got each other succulents!

Jorge prepared us some drinks and they were pretty darn good! And strong!

Apparently, too strong. I couldn’t remember certain parts of the night and I just had this strange feeling when I woke up the next morning. I thought about it as I did my morning routine and once Jorge woke up I asked him what in the world happened because I couldn’t remember the car ride home.

He said, “Um. You don’t remember? You, um, cried on the way home…”

I was mortified. “Whaaat??? What was I crying about??” I finally got a spark of memory; I remembered feeling sad…and babbling 🙄 . Oh geez.

He said, “Everything, Baby. Life in general.”

I apparently cried about feeling inadequate, like I don’t do enough or make enough money. About how I haven’t gone back to school. About feeling lonely–ugh, just thinking about it now makes me cringe!

How dare that stupid alcohol unearth such deep-rooted issues I didn’t even know I had!

It was a slow realization, but I’d recently noticed that ever since leaving the Chamber and starting at my new job, I’ve sort of cut myself off from everyone. I really only hang out with Sally when she has time. And even then, most of the time I feel like I’m bothering her. I know it’s not true–because she told me so–but I can’t help but feel that way because of that annoying little nagging voice in the back of my head. That voice is the reason I don’t reach out to most people. And then I feel lonely and the cycle continues.

It doesn’t help that Jorge isn’t around sometimes due to work. That’s been the hardest of all 🙁 .

I also feel like I should do more. But I felt that way ever since the Chamber days: like I should be going to school, making more money. My job now is SO EASY and laid back that I have tons of time to think and dwell and beat myself up over stupid shit. Ugh.

ANYWAY. Back to my original story: we showered and got ready and took Mom to breakfast at Taco Ole.

We chilled out a bit at home before I picked the kiddos up for lunch.

Took this pic of my Emmos, looking adorable, as always!

She gave me this awesome card:

She’s so sweet to her mama!

And I also received a Yeti mug and wine glass from hubs!

I also got shopping and nail money, which is ALWAYS appreciated!

Jorge said he was going to stay behind since he was tired, so only Mom the kiddos and I went to lunch at Wing Stop. (I swear, my whole life is EATING!)

We chit-chatted and had some laughs and then I dropped them off. Mom and I made our way to the cemetery to drop off Gramma’s flowers and tidy up her grave a little. It’s our first Mother’s Day without Gramma 🙁 .

I saw later that both girls had Snapped and Instagrammed Mother’s Day posts to me! As bad as it may be on some occasions, I love that I can “see” them express themselves through social media.

I’m only sad that she didn’t have another photo 😆 😆 !!

All-in-all, couldn’t ask for a better Mother’s Day! My heart and soul were thrilled and fulfilled!

Mother’s Day Weekend

My Mother’s Day weekend started a bit early on Friday, with Emmos presenting me with a beautiful magnet frame for my fridge .

image

We had movie night that night, and I managed to fall asleep during the latest Star Wars movie. The parts I saw were great tho!

I skipped yoga the next day (after much rolling around in my sheets debating how long to “sleep in”) but I eventually got up and got ready…only to sit at the kitchen table drinking coffee 😆 .

I took Emmos with me and we searched all over for the small Peppa plushes for Charlee. They were out everywhere. But we did find this:

image

For $1.00!! We couldn’t believe it. We searched the isles for more, but again, nothing 😕 .

We did all our shopping and errands and then we got home and I got the 3 little ones ready to go to Charlee’s party. Before we got ready to leave, Julien runs to me and says, “Happy Mother’s Day!!”:

image

I immediately choked up; I felt overwhelmed and just surprised! I put it on the fridge proudly, next to Emmos’. He brought me a little poem, too, with handprints and a painting of a vase with flowers in it (the buds were his little hands!), but I told him it should be for his 1st Mom. I didn’t know how to take his reaction; I didn’t want to offend him, but I figured she should have something, too, from him. I know I would want to. I did take pictures of him with the poem and painting and I said, “There! Now we’ll both have one!”

So after adjusting my mascara and swallowing down the lump in my throat, we were off 🙂 .

image
Aren't they just beautiful?!

They had so much fun at Sally’s! She always comes up with cute games for them and they love it. And Charlee looked adorable, of course!

image

image

image

I had a great time, too, catching up with Sally. I love spending time with her!

We got home and just as I changed into my lazy clothes, I get a message on Facebook stating that I won a Mother’s Day contest pack from Xquinkles Snack Land!! I never win those social media contests so I was thrilled, and hello?! Who wouldn’t be thrilled over this:

image

I took half the brood with me; the others stayed home playing video games with Dad 🙂 .

image

Then we got home and watched The Jungle Book–which I passed out during as well.

The next morning was officially Mother’s Day 🙂 . Jorge woke me up with smooches and told me to stay in bed, so I obliged 😆 . Then he and the girls woke me up and I was greeted by these beautiful, drowsy faces:

image

My love and the kiddos didn’t make breakfast that morning, but he did bring the next best thing: menudo and barbacoa!!

So we ate, and then I was allowed to lounge around all morning until we got ready to return some stuff (can you believe the tunic I’m wearing in the photo was $5??) and then we went to visit Gramma:

image

She was doing good, thank God :). She’s recently moved to a new facility, per her request, which shocked us all. So that only means she really didn’t like it at the previous place before 🙁 .

We got home and Aunt Nora and Linda came to visit. Then we lazied around the rest of the day. It was just awesome, and low-key with all the kids, Mom and my love. John was around for a bit, but disappeared to study. We watched Grey’s Anatomy with the kids the rest of the evening until I passed out on the sofa.

As for gifts, I did a satisfying amount of clothes shopping 🙂 . Plus my love got me this:

image
Tamarindo Apple With Chamoy Gummy Bears

I had such a great day yesterday, that I actually didn’t mind having to wake up at 5am this morning 🙂 . And dropping the kids off was a piece of cake on our way to school/work and the day went by fast and was a breeze! I even applied for a grant (with my co-worker’s advice, of course!)