Category: Backstories

It’s Back! My Site Is Back!

*kisses* Oh my God, I was dying yesterday. I *need* to write type down what I’m eating because for some reason it helps keep me in check, and my darn site was down ALL DAY! My host kept trying to bill me since Jan. 1st, and they still haven’t gotten the payment. I kept getting weird e-mails from them (with just ‘Pixiehost Billing’ in the e-mail and no subject line) and they never charged my credit card. Then yesterday, they suspended my site . I was being a pain in the ass, I know this, and kept posting on the forums and submitting tickets…but I was desperate! And I didn’t do anything wrong! I was so worried they were going to delete my site, too (because after 14 days of non-payment, they remove the site from the server). I’m just glad everything’s back to normal and they’re going to get someone to figure everything out with my billing issue. *whew*

So everything was cool during Jorge’s birthday on Thursday night. Our kids played with their kids and at around 10:30 (an hour and a half later than his bedtime), I put Eenan to sleep in one of the rooms and thank God he stayed asleep. I just chilled out with Maggie, her sister and her sister’s daughter and helped out with little things here and there.

John didn’t come over this weekend, don’t know why. I’m assuming it’s because he’s tired of me telling him to just quit talking to his ex. It could also be because I keep bugging him to eat right (because he goes hours without eating) and he’s prone to getting diabetes and skipping meals will only speed it along. I’ll never understand him.

Aunt Nora and Mom called a few days ago to let me know about problems they’re having with one of Gramma’s checks. Long ago, around 1995, she was receiving a supplemental check (or something like that) and they took it away when we moved. I’m still not sure why. Well, when Aunt Nora went to pay the nursing home, they tell her she owes $100-some because she’s not turning in that other check. She tells them Gramma hasn’t gotten it since ’95 and they say that she should be getting one. Aunt Nora calls Social Security and sure enough, there’s a check going out to Gramma, but no one knows where and they definetly are being cashed. So now they have to figure out who’s been cashing them and all that stuff. What morons. They were even telling Aunt Nora something about possibly having to “pay back”…hello? We haven’t received anything, why should WE pay back? Grr. .

As for our income tax, we figured we aren’t getting too much, because Mario didn’t work 7 months out of last year and of course, I didn’t work. We were planning to put some money on our property, but that’s not happening. And we definetly won’t be able to buy new wedding rings .

Yesterday was Bonnie’s birthday, so we all got together and ate cake. Yes, I broke down and ate 2 small pieces of cake, but I figured I’d been good, so I indulged. We flipped through Mary’s photo albums and had a nice time listening to stories behind certain pictures.

Mario has today off, but he won’t be having his days off again for a long while. All during Income Tax season. We went to JCPenny to get Eenan a new shirt for his Group Picture. While we were there, the boys found some dinosaur shirts that came with a glow-in-the-dark dinosaur and begged for them, so we got them matching shirts. They had such cute clothes in the juniors department…I hope I can lose a few pounds and buy some. The colors were all pastel-y and cute!

We went to visit Gramma for a while after that. I hadn’t seen her in 3 weeks! It was nice seeing her. All the physical therapy they’re doing with her is helping her out tremendously. She can actually pull her legs in front of her now and move her feet. Before, she always had her legs curled up to one side and it hurt her to move them. Mary and I were talking about that a few days ago and she said it’s the best thing that could have happened to her. I agree. We miss her SO MUCH but we’re thrilled she gets to socialize with others her age and she does physical therapy and gets her nails done and everything .

We went to H-E-B and picked up a few groceries, mostly for bar-be-cuing at Jorge’s tonight. Mario’s making his famous homemade Buffalo Wings. Must be strong and only eat a few!

Going to update my weight-loss log thingy since I missed yesterday.

A New Year & Remembering 2004


Hope everyone’s New Year’s Eve/New Year’s were great! I thought we were going to have a crappy, just-like-any-other-day kind of day, but it actually turned out wonderfully. The boys and I lounged around all day, spent some time at Mary’s with her and Bonnie (who’d be sleeping over), and then Mario called at around 6:30 that he was out already. He picked John up and they got here. Mario was feeling really, really sick…he was congested and was beginning to get a fever, so he laid on the couch most of the night . Yazmin was here and had her Elf movie, so we watched that until Cata, Annie and the kids arrived at Mary’s. Mario and John stayed here watching the movie. Mary and Yadira had gone to H-E-B to get the ingredients for Shimp Cocktail & some fireworks and when they got here Yadira and I got to chopping/boiling everything. It was SO good! I need to add that recipe to the site because everyone should try it! The kids all had pizzas, and after eating his Jaylen sat next to me and had a little bowl of shrimp. He loves seafood .

Cata, Annie and their kids left since they were going to spend some time with Annie’s family, too. After stuffing our faces, we gathered the kids, and placed some chairs in a row for everyone to watch the fireworks. Since Mario was sick and indisposed, Mary, Yadira, Noey and I would be lighting the fireworks for the kids. I swear the little tanks had it in for me . I almost got shot in the face at least twice–and that’s because Mary was pointing them the other direction. The kids all had so much fun. Jaylen especially loved the fireworks. I don’t think he had a break at all between the sparklers and the roman candles . During one of the times I was getting a break from lighting stuff, I was sitting next to Yazmin watching the kids. We hear Grandpa mumbling, who was sitting a few chairs away from us. We slowly turn our heads and notice he’s asleep. Everyone else (Yadira, Mary, and Sonia) all knew he talked in his sleep, but Yazmin and I didn’t. He spoke so clearly! He was arguing with someone about how they were causing problems at his house and how he was being passive and calm with them LOL. Then he just stopped and we sat there with our mouths hanging open. Yazmin then whispered, “More Grandpa, more!” LOL. It was quite an interesting story.

After we finished off every last firework, we cleaned up and quickly scurried inside since it was almost time for the morons in the neighborhood to start shooting their guns. Sure, we live way out here in the boonies, but we do live within city limits and shooting is not permitted. There’s so many kids and people out there and then these idiots decide to fire their automatic riles. Yes, we heard an automatic rifle fired twice. The cops even came by because the neighbors reported gun shots. A few people got killed last year sometime (not in our city, but somewhere else…Donna?) because of stray bullets falling into their homes…don’t they learn??

We chilled out for a while and right at 12am Mario and I kissed Happy New Year (well, I kissed him on the cheek since he was sick LOL), and then we went outside to watch the huge fireworks the neighbors behind us were shooting (and hopefully not get shot ourselves). John, Mario and I were out there (Eenan was with Mary–he doesn’t like the really loud fireworks) and from where we were standing/sitting we could see all these huge fireworks. I think the church was also having some kind of display or something. It was a great night .

As for yesterday, Mario actually had a day off. We went to get hamster and rabbit food from Pet Smart then chilled out for a while. Mario had a few things to fix on the car and I cleaned just a bit (though looking around now, it hardly seems like it!). Mom called around 6:30 and told us Linda, her boyfriend, Jessica and Justin had all gotten there and we could go over anytime. We went over around 7. It was so nice to see them! I hadn’t seen Linda in over 4 years! Jessica is cute as ever. We sat around and talked for a while. They were very entertained by Eenan and Jaylen LOL. I wish we could see them more often. I really, really miss Linda, even though she was a bitch to me sometimes LOL. We met her boyfriend, Tommy. I’m glad she moved on from Joe. It sucks that he never changed .

We came home after our visit and left the boys with John. Chris invited Mario over for some shrimp and fish and Mario took me along. It was nice. Chris is such a good cook and the food was really good! It was really mellow and nice. I even got to hold some of Eddie and Chris’ cats LOL. They’re all so much nicer than freakin’ Choco Cat. She’s a little snatch all the time . When I was getting ready to leave Chris told me to bring some shrimp home. I’ll be having that for lunch in a bit, buahaha! Mario stayed for a while longer, I had to get his lunch for work today ready and had dishes and laundry to do…and it was 11pm! As I was saying goodbye to everyone Eddie says my site’s cool and I should put some pics up of everyone. I was so flattered! I had no idea he read my site . Gotta take my camera over there the next time we got over!

Today, I’m just here…finally sorting through my e-mail and of course typing this up. I have mail in there since July ! I’ve been thinking about “New Years Resolutions” and what I want to accomplish this year. I was going through my entries from last year trying to find my resolutions, but I don’t think I even had any! My computer had been in and out of consciousness around this time last year, so it must have slipped my mind. As for this year:

1. Start eating healthy and excersize! I need to–not so much lose weight–but get back in shape.
2. Get over my fear of driving in congested traffic and finally get my license! Then I can see Gramma and Mom whenever I want!
3. Stop procrastinating. I need to do what I need to do on time, such as chores!
4. That said, I need to be more organized!
5. Treat each day like it’s the last. Tell my family/friends I love and appreciate them every chance I get.
6. Finally finish remodeling the bathroom.
7. Split the bedroom!
8. Keep in touch with friends and maybe get in touch with some old ones.
9. Successfully potty train Jaylen before he turns 3 (April 18th!).
10. Teach the kids to keep their room clean .

That’s all I can remember for now…I know there’s more but I drew a blank . 2004 was a whirlwind of a year. It definetly taught me to be grateful for what I have: a roof over my head, food, clothes on my back, and most importantly my family. Mario losing his job, Gramma getting sick and put in a nursing home, Mom and John moving away, Mario getting a new job he enjoys, and greater things like all the hurricanes, the war and now the tsunami and all the lives that have been lost really put things in perspective for me. You just never know. Here’s hoping 2005 will be a better, prosperous year for everyone .


Just Thinking…

I’m going to regret this tomorrow morning…staying up this late. Like I have every other night this week. I’m really tired, but I don’t feel sleepy. Blah, anyway.

Tomorrow’s going to suck I think. We didn’t get to buy the kids fireworks this year, Mario’s probably going to get out of work late (as always–but it’s not his fault ), Mom probably won’t get to come over, hopefully Mario won’t forget to pick John up…yeah, it’ll be boring. At least last year Mom was here and we popped fireworks with the kids and drank Bailey’s Milkshakes with Mary. I don’t even think we have ice cream!

I was bored as heck today without John here (yes douchebag, even though you get on my nerves at times, I enjoy your company…now, never speak of this again…). He went with Mom to the Social Security office. I hope, hope, hope she qualifies for SSI, or whatever it’s called. Disability? I mean, if they can help Alicia (that old bat Dad had been with) and they can help Tia Zoila, who have absolutely nothing wrong with them but the lazy gene, then they can help Mother. I’m just praying they will. She shouldn’t be working anymore. That’s the reason her diabetes is always on the fritz…they don’t give her a break since she only works 5-6 hours! Diabetics need to eat all three, or 5 small, meals a day!

So, since I was bored I decided to mess around with Google and search for stuff. It occured to me to search for ‘Rio Grande Valley’ and ‘McAllen’. It surprises me that out of all the people that live around here, I’ve only met two (very lovely) ladies from the Valley. Where is everyone? There’s got to be other bloggers out there. It’s just weird to me since the Valley’s so big. Maybe there are, and they’re just not in search engines?

All that got me thinking about my old friends *sigh*. What I’d give to have a little reunion. I have no idea what’s going on in Vero’s, Sally’s, Jessica’s, Angie’s, Dayse’s or anyone else’s lives. The last I heard was from Angie last March…only because I ran into her at Wal-Mart and she invited me to her wedding, which was a week later. I cracked a smile after hearing her say that because it broke my heart I wasn’t even properly invited. I’d known that girl since 1st grade . I’ve–well, not so much me, but my mother-in-law–has had the same phone number forever…she could have at least called me to let me know. I mean, I invited her to my wedding…not that she showed up . She asked, “You have my number, right?”, after telling me about the wedding. I nodded yes (she’s had the same one since we were in 1st grade) and told her I’d call her. I didn’t. I couldn’t get myself to. I felt so hurt by it all, call me a drama queen if you will.

I remember being in 3rd or 5th grade and we were in the lunch line. We were laughing like crazy and I don’t remember exactly what we were talking about, but I do remember clearly telling her she’d be my kids’ Godmother when we grew up. It really, truly sucks that she isn’t .

A similar thing happened when Vero was going to have her baby. They called me that same morning before I went into work to let me know she was having a baby shower. Of course I couldn’t make it, but I wanted to so badly! I almost skipped work to go. Instead, I got her some gifts and we dropped them off later. I remember getting tears in my eyes and actually sobbing when I saw her little girl in her arms. I felt so happy for her. But I didn’t even know her boyfriend. I didn’t even know her anymore. I felt so odd standing there with the gift bag and felt almost silly to be crying over this stranger and her child. I’ve known her since Pre-K. What really put the dagger into my chest was that Sally was the one throwing the baby shower for her (I’ve known Sally since Pre-K, too). I felt so alienated…and so jealous that they still had this strong friendship and I was just this girl they barely remembered at the last minute and decided to call for the heck of it. I don’t think she ever really got over our “problem” from 7th grade. It hurts to know I hurt her so badly that she may have hated me all those years after that. Maybe she thinks about me now and still resents me? That’s what hurts most of all.

As for Jessica, we kept in touch every so often. She’d even come sleep over before she had Danielle and her and her husband were having problems. We were “the twins” because we looked so much alike (though I always thought she was much more attractive), were the exact same height (short!), wore the same thing without knowing sometimes, and were inseperable. Until 8th grade and Coral came along. But that’s a whole other blog entry .

I know for a while Jessica didn’t like me, for reasons I don’t even know about, when we were in middle school. Maybe around 7th grade even. Maybe influenced by Coral and her hatred for me. I really don’t know why she hated me so much. People said she was jealous, though she had no reason to be. I believe it now due to the fact that she (Coral) tried to ruin every relationship I had in 9th grade when I still lived in McAllen. But Jessica and I kept in touch in high school since she went to a different one than the rest of us and kept in touch even more after high school. I miss her the most I think. I remember we lost touch after I had Jaylen. Then I called her up again one day when I was about to ‘pop’ with him and we started talking again. Then, she was going to have another baby, another baby girl. She called one day and asked if she could buy my maternity clothes off of me and I appologetically declined because most had just barely been bought for me by Mom and Mary in my last trimester and I didn’t think it would be too nice to get rid of everything for about $100. (These were after all, Motherhood and Mothertime clothes, which aren’t very cheap ). I think I spoke to her once after that. I really hope we just lost touch because of our busy lives and not because I wouldn’t sell her maternity clothes. As I’ve mentioned before…I just wish I had a crystal ball where I can see how everyone’s doing. Not so much get in contact with them again, because, based on past experiences, I know it’ll be a one-sided thing where I’ll be the only one making an effort. But I just want to see how everyone’s doing. It’s quite sad I haven’t heard from Dayse since 10th grade. I wish I knew how Pete, Lazaro, Freddy, Roy, Paul, how they’re all doing too.

It just sucks that I lost all those friendships. Out of all the friendships/aquaintances I made after leaving McAllen, none were as special as the ones I had with my childhood friends. None felt the same. I could never really trust anyone. Possibly one of the reasons I clung to Mario so much when I’d moved to Mission…because he understood me and actually cared about me. Whoo…I think I need to get to bed. I’m getting all choked up and am revealing too much information LOL. I feel silly now. But I’ve typed too damn much to close the window.

*sigh* I really need that crystal ball…