Category: Grr

I’m going to regret this tomorrow morning…staying up this late. Like I have every other night this week. I’m really tired, but I don’t feel sleepy. Blah, anyway.

Tomorrow’s going to suck I think. We didn’t get to buy the kids fireworks this year, Mario’s probably going to get out of work late (as always–but it’s not his fault ), Mom probably won’t get to come over, hopefully Mario won’t forget to pick John up…yeah, it’ll be boring. At least last year Mom was here and we popped fireworks with the kids and drank Bailey’s Milkshakes with Mary. I don’t even think we have ice cream!

I was bored as heck today without John here (yes douchebag, even though you get on my nerves at times, I enjoy your company…now, never speak of this again…). He went with Mom to the Social Security office. I hope, hope, hope she qualifies for SSI, or whatever it’s called. Disability? I mean, if they can help Alicia (that old bat Dad had been with) and they can help Tia Zoila, who have absolutely nothing wrong with them but the lazy gene, then they can help Mother. I’m just praying they will. She shouldn’t be working anymore. That’s the reason her diabetes is always on the fritz…they don’t give her a break since she only works 5-6 hours! Diabetics need to eat all three, or 5 small, meals a day!

So, since I was bored I decided to mess around with Google and search for stuff. It occured to me to search for ‘Rio Grande Valley’ and ‘McAllen’. It surprises me that out of all the people that live around here, I’ve only met two (very lovely) ladies from the Valley. Where is everyone? There’s got to be other bloggers out there. It’s just weird to me since the Valley’s so big. Maybe there are, and they’re just not in search engines?

All that got me thinking about my old friends *sigh*. What I’d give to have a little reunion. I have no idea what’s going on in Vero’s, Sally’s, Jessica’s, Angie’s, Dayse’s or anyone else’s lives. The last I heard was from Angie last March…only because I ran into her at Wal-Mart and she invited me to her wedding, which was a week later. I cracked a smile after hearing her say that because it broke my heart I wasn’t even properly invited. I’d known that girl since 1st grade . I’ve–well, not so much me, but my mother-in-law–has had the same phone number forever…she could have at least called me to let me know. I mean, I invited her to my wedding…not that she showed up . She asked, “You have my number, right?”, after telling me about the wedding. I nodded yes (she’s had the same one since we were in 1st grade) and told her I’d call her. I didn’t. I couldn’t get myself to. I felt so hurt by it all, call me a drama queen if you will.

I remember being in 3rd or 5th grade and we were in the lunch line. We were laughing like crazy and I don’t remember exactly what we were talking about, but I do remember clearly telling her she’d be my kids’ Godmother when we grew up. It really, truly sucks that she isn’t .

A similar thing happened when Vero was going to have her baby. They called me that same morning before I went into work to let me know she was having a baby shower. Of course I couldn’t make it, but I wanted to so badly! I almost skipped work to go. Instead, I got her some gifts and we dropped them off later. I remember getting tears in my eyes and actually sobbing when I saw her little girl in her arms. I felt so happy for her. But I didn’t even know her boyfriend. I didn’t even know her anymore. I felt so odd standing there with the gift bag and felt almost silly to be crying over this stranger and her child. I’ve known her since Pre-K. What really put the dagger into my chest was that Sally was the one throwing the baby shower for her (I’ve known Sally since Pre-K, too). I felt so alienated…and so jealous that they still had this strong friendship and I was just this girl they barely remembered at the last minute and decided to call for the heck of it. I don’t think she ever really got over our “problem” from 7th grade. It hurts to know I hurt her so badly that she may have hated me all those years after that. Maybe she thinks about me now and still resents me? That’s what hurts most of all.

As for Jessica, we kept in touch every so often. She’d even come sleep over before she had Danielle and her and her husband were having problems. We were “the twins” because we looked so much alike (though I always thought she was much more attractive), were the exact same height (short!), wore the same thing without knowing sometimes, and were inseperable. Until 8th grade and Coral came along. But that’s a whole other blog entry .

I know for a while Jessica didn’t like me, for reasons I don’t even know about, when we were in middle school. Maybe around 7th grade even. Maybe influenced by Coral and her hatred for me. I really don’t know why she hated me so much. People said she was jealous, though she had no reason to be. I believe it now due to the fact that she (Coral) tried to ruin every relationship I had in 9th grade when I still lived in McAllen. But Jessica and I kept in touch in high school since she went to a different one than the rest of us and kept in touch even more after high school. I miss her the most I think. I remember we lost touch after I had Jaylen. Then I called her up again one day when I was about to ‘pop’ with him and we started talking again. Then, she was going to have another baby, another baby girl. She called one day and asked if she could buy my maternity clothes off of me and I appologetically declined because most had just barely been bought for me by Mom and Mary in my last trimester and I didn’t think it would be too nice to get rid of everything for about $100. (These were after all, Motherhood and Mothertime clothes, which aren’t very cheap ). I think I spoke to her once after that. I really hope we just lost touch because of our busy lives and not because I wouldn’t sell her maternity clothes. As I’ve mentioned before…I just wish I had a crystal ball where I can see how everyone’s doing. Not so much get in contact with them again, because, based on past experiences, I know it’ll be a one-sided thing where I’ll be the only one making an effort. But I just want to see how everyone’s doing. It’s quite sad I haven’t heard from Dayse since 10th grade. I wish I knew how Pete, Lazaro, Freddy, Roy, Paul, how they’re all doing too.

It just sucks that I lost all those friendships. Out of all the friendships/aquaintances I made after leaving McAllen, none were as special as the ones I had with my childhood friends. None felt the same. I could never really trust anyone. Possibly one of the reasons I clung to Mario so much when I’d moved to Mission…because he understood me and actually cared about me. Whoo…I think I need to get to bed. I’m getting all choked up and am revealing too much information LOL. I feel silly now. But I’ve typed too damn much to close the window.

*sigh* I really need that crystal ball…

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Finally…a chance to update. Well, actually…I put off mopping all darn day (I’ve had the water with nicely scented Mr. Clean in a bucket in the kitchen since around 5 this afternoon ) and I still haven’t washed dishes. And it’s 11:41. But I’m dead tired. The past few nights I’ve only slept 4-5 hours…and I cannot function on that little sleep.

The last time I updated, I mentioned we were picking Eenan up from school. There was a huge line so we parked at some apartments. We cross the street and while I’m zipping up Jaylen’s sweater I hear Noelia saying, “What?!” I turn and this man is howling from across the street, “Is this your car?!” I nod my head and he says, “Do you live here?” I yell ‘no’ and he says, “You have to move your car!” I tell him I’ll be right back and I hear him yelling his head off. We rush to get Eenan, then rush back to the car. Took us less than 5 minutes. When we get back, we’re putting the boys in the car and there comes the buffalo-sized man. I roll my eyes at Noelia and think, ‘Oh great…another run-in with a douchebag’. He says, “Do you rent here?” I reply, “Nope, are you the owner?” and continue buckling Eenan in his seat belt. He says, “No, but I’m the landlord. You can’t be parking here.” I say, “I know, Sir. We just needed to get my son. We took less than 5 minutes.” He says, “Well, I’ve been getting calls that people have been leaving their cars here all week.”

I feel my face get hot. “Well, this is the first time we do it, and it’s not like we’re going to do it again. It’s not like we’re taking up the parking spaces,” I said, as I glide my hand in the air, Vanna White style, showing him the empty parking lot. He gets all pissy and says, “Well, I already got your license plate number and I’ll call the cops.” I roll my eyes, begin to walk to the passenger side of the car and say, “Um. Okay. Go ahead. What’s that going to do?” He just stares at me for a while and I say, “I’ll be sure to let everyone I know, know about you and your apartments.” He chuckles and says, “Oh, that don’t scare us.” (Us? Was he skitzo?) I open the door to the passenger side, get up in his face and say, “Well, you don’t scare me.” I closed the door on him (while he continued to talk out his ass), which pissed him off more and I just smiled all sarcastic-like as we drove off. Idiot. Some people just LOVE to be assholes. And I usually have the pleasure of running into assholes. They think, because of my appearance I bet (I look like I’m 16 and helpless–a doctor told me a few months ago that I look like I’m 12!), that I’ll just let myself be talked down to. Boy do they ever get a surprise. I may end up getting my ass kicked one of these days, but hell, I’m not one to keep my mouth shut.

Thursday was spent baking. I woke up, got the boys ready and dropped Eenan off at school. Then I started baking. And making lunch for Mario and Jose. All the while, panicking over Eenan’s lost white polo shirt that he needed that night for his performance. I was a wreck that day–I surely thought I’d have a breakdown. Mario finally had a day off, and I didn’t want to bother him since he was spending time with Jose…but there were a few times I was on the brink of a system meltdown and I just had to ask him to help me out. I know I shouldn’t have felt guilty (I even got all pissy once when he left “without telling me”). It is partly the whole monthly, almost-bleeding-to-death thing’s fault .

I helped Eenan with his homework after Mario picked him up, then I took a shower and then got him ready. I was a bit disappointed that his shirt didn’t fit him as well as I wanted it to (Mary bought it the night before and matched it with another polo of his that fits him). He still looked adorable though :).

It was starting to drizzle by the time we left the house. Eenan’s performance started at 6:30 and Yazmin’s started at 6. So, we planned to go see Yazmin for a bit, then rush to Eenan’s school to get our plates ($15 for 3) and take Eenan with his class to practice or whatever they were going to do to get ready. We were going to leave around 6:20…but they didn’t start the concert till 6:15 so we didn’t even get to see her sing (she had a solo!). We took Angela with us when we left and halfway to their school I realize we forgot the camcorder. It’d stayed with Noelia. I called and asked if Noelia and Mary and Jaylen could come a little earlier to bring the camcorder. I was getting really upset about not recording him on his first program ever, but they got there on time. It was crazy–it was SO packed. I hope they never have their programs at that place again. There were no seats by the time we got there. We bought our plates in advance, and still didn’t even get to get seats. So Mario asked for our money back. There were also people getting in the way while I was recording. They very well saw that I was recording and would still insist on passing right in front of me. Other than that, their little programs were great . I almost cried watching Eenan sing his little song and wave the tissue paper pom-poms around they gave them to perfom with. I’m so proud of my lil’ guy *sniff*.

When we got home, I got comfortable and back to baking I went. After finishing the snickerdoodles, I started on the sugar cookies. I’d never made them before and well, they didn’t come out as good as I’d hoped. They taste great…they’re just kinda hard . I think I almost made Grandpa’s dentures fall out . Next time I know: roll the damn dough out thicker.

I let the boys decorate a few before they went to bed. I bought them these edible markers to paint the cookies with, since I don’t trust them too much with the squeezable gels LOL.

Here’s the cookie Eenan made his teacher:

And the ones I decorated and would put in a star-shaped box with some snickerdoodles:

There were dozens of snickerdoodles (which would quickly disappear within the next few days) and a whole bunch of (hard) sugar cookies. I even burned a batch and there were still a whole lot left:

You can see the teeny cupcakes behind the snickerdoodles. Since they were mini cupcakes…1 box of batter made 72 cupcakes . I was up till 1:30am that night.

I don’t remember much from Friday, except taking Eenan’s goodies to school. All the kids were gathered around us admiring the cupcakes LOL. Eenan gave his gift to Ms. Ortiz, which was a little apple-shaped ceramic plaque that says, “Teachers plant a seed that never stops growing”, or something like that. She also gave him a “reader” to practice over the holidays. She said he’s her top student and she wants him to read it first. Yay . I hope he can pick up soon. He’s learning to read pretty quickly.

When we picked Eenan up, he was really happy. His friend gave him some Yugioh cards and he got a car in the gift exchange and his other friend gave him some little cars. Ms. Ortiz hugged him and said, “Santa’s gonna bring you lots of toys since you were such a good boy this year,” and we winked in agreement.

Mario picked John up that night. He’ll be staying with us the whole 3 weeks of Christmas vacation.

On Saturday I got up early, got Mario ready for work (ironed clothes, made breakfast), gave the kids breakfast and took off to go do Mom’s Christmas shopping with Mary. Not only did we make good time, but I found stuff that everyone would like, and for good prices. I even got myself Polite Panda from Hot Topic from Mom. Last one they had. Tonight though, after showing Mary the bear, she brings a Hot Topic bag out and says, “I didn’t want to say anything because I wanted it to be a surprise, but I already got you that one” LOL. So, I’ll be returning the other one. Not sure what I’ll get in it’s place…they don’t have Perfect Panda, Treat Heart Pig or anything else (for that price, $8.99) that I want there. Stupid store. I hope they have some more in by the time we go back Friday . We left the mall at around 3:30, got home and got the boys ready and left to Gorilla George’s for a birthday party. We got there really late, but they were happy we showed up. The boys played till around 5:30 and then we left. To ANOTHER birthday party at ANOTHER pizza place. They had fun. They were quickly becoming moody at the 2nd party since they hadn’t had their naps, but we stayed since they wanted us to have cake. Tres Leches cake. One of my favorites. It tasted so good, but of course I’ve been nauseous the past few days so I didn’t get to enjoy it. No, I’m not pregnant LOL. Here’s a pic I took of the boys in the Santa corner:

They’re actually not trying to kill eachother for once LOL.

We went home and left the boys with John. We were going back to the mall for the “sale” and to Target for a few things. We were meeting Mario at the mall after he got out of work. It wasn’t as crowded as I thought it would be, but for being almost midnight it was still busy. I got the last of the stuff I needed for Mom, which felt awesome. I still need Mario’s, but he wants shirts so that’ll be easy. We got home around 12:15, and again I didn’t go to sleep till really late since the toilet tank overflowed and John left wet towels and my fish mat soaked on the floor and I had to wash them. Then I was just talking to Mario, who stayed up even later than I did.

We got up early to go to the big flea market/ garage sale. I took a shower and then we were off. John gave me $20 as my Xmas gift to spend there . I went back to that same lady I bought the sleeping bags from last month and she had the Jurassic Park comforter and complete set of Care Bear sheets (for $6…$2 less than what she was asking last time)! All I got next was a new release Twink Sprite for my Hot Topic Rainbow Brite Doll, two Care Bear poseables (which I thought were vintage but aren’t! Should’ve paid attention!), and yet another Putter Popple, which I bought only because the lady wouldn’t sell the pocket Puzzle Popple seperately. She said it was Putter’s baby and that’s the way they came, which is not true . She sold it to me for a dollar more than she was asking last time, too. Dammit. They had a Yum Yum…a cat, but it was really dirty and she wanted $5. I would have bought her, but I was a bit annoyed that she didn’t want to sell me a Twink mini sprite because she was only selling it with a really beat-up looking Rainbow Brite doll, so I said, ‘nah’. I have enough ugly Rainbow Brite dolls LOL. Plus, I was bitchy because I’m menstrual . I’ve been quite unpleasant this month.

After the garage sale we went to the movies to watch Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events. Don’t know if I spelled that correctly. I thought it was cute, but Mario and Sonia didn’t like it LOL. Not sure who else didn’t. I want to read the books now. And they look pretty short, so I’d be able to finish them quickly, without many interruptions from the boys.

Ok, going to bed now.

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*edit on 12-16-04 @ 10:48am* Holy hell . I just heard Lindsay Lohan on the Ellen show. How did she get a contract??! Oh wait, the boobs, that’s right . She’s got a shower voice. I could sing better than that. She should have stuck to Disney movies *shakes head* */edit*

I am so ready to get back in my PJ’s and crawl into bed. It’s 2:20pm and I’m sleepy . I’m done with cleaning out all the animals’ cages and the litterbox. Just to give you an idea of my *cough* little adventure, here’s a few pieces from my convo with Rejeana:

pocketsizedpixy: ok…i’ll be back in a bit when i’m done with these guys…you should see my cat desperately trying to slither out from under the bathroom door lol
Rejeana: LOL awww..ok, have fun!
pocketsizedpixy: *hacks* man i’m tired
Rejeana: lol aww
pocketsizedpixy: that could have gone better
pocketsizedpixy: yeah…i’m still not done…the CHILD let the gerbil run free…do you know how hard it is to catch a rodent that runs at light speed?
pocketsizedpixy: ok…gonna go change the rats’ bedding now…
Rejeana: WOW, how hectic lol
Rejeana: sheesh, never have a rest eh? lol
pocketsizedpixy: had you sent any messages? my stupid internet disconnected
pocketsizedpixy: god…i am SO tired
pocketsizedpixy: this time, i had the pleasure of chasing around tailwhip, mario’s asshole of a rat
Rejeana: hey, no i’m home now lol
Rejeana: BUTG
Rejeana: before i left i updated the fairy.
Rejeana: message me when you get back so i can show you
pocketsizedpixy: i’m here…trying not to fall asleep…i can’t believe after all the shit i did, i still feel so sleepy! i thought the adrenaline of chasing that damn rat would wake me up a bit lol
Rejeana: lol damn the fact that they got loose
Rejeana: and then with tons of stuff in your house to hide behind
Rejeana: wow, i’m impressed by you
Rejeana: lol
pocketsizedpixy: NO. SHIT. LOL! the little fucker kept going behind the entertainment center…WHERE I COULD NOT REACH HIM because the weight bench is on one side and the desk is on the other…then he hid UNDER the desk and i had to smash him with a mop to get him out
pocketsizedpixy: the thing is, they always get loose…but he never does that…but then again, mario usually changes their stuff, not me…bastard
Rejeana: LOL @ the mop

So yeah…fun! To think I still need to bake the peanut butter cookies and snickerdoodles, throw out the trash, sweep/mop and bathe the cat!! I may also have to make dinner for about 20 people because my brain malfunctioned for a few minutes and I idiotically volunteered myself. Oh God…and after all that baking…THE DISHES. AHHHHH!! *runs around in circles screaming*

But anyway , I forgot to mention, Saturday, when we went to get Eenan’s “dressy” shoes at Payless I saw my childhood friend, Kristina, there. It was nice seeing her. I wanted to throw all kinds of questions at her, like ‘how are you doing!?’, ‘how is so-and-so’, but there was a line of people and so I couldn’t . I don’t know how long Mary and Sonia would have waited around either LOL.

I also forgot to mention that we found out Eenan’s class (and all the other Kinder classes and 1st grade classes) are going to perform Thursday night! It’s Eenan’s first program ever! No wonder he’s been belting out all these Christmas songs. I think it was supposed to be a surprise…because they left it till the last minute to tell us they needed to wear a white shirt, black pants and a Santa hat. He’s gonna look so handsome . Already got my camera charged and ready, and I’ve got my 256mb & 64mb memory cards . Gotta remind Mary to charge her camcorder, too.

On Monday, I had to call John’s school again because those absences that were showing up for the 1st six weeks were still there. That man I spoke to said he was going to remove them in 2 days…right. I called in, because I didn’t have a car to go over there and because hell, I ain’t going again if I already got this “settled” once. The woman who answered didn’t want to give me any information…even had the audacity to tell me ‘Maybe they’re there because he’s not attending class’. Dolt. Did she not hear me just say that the moron of a man I spoke to was supposed to remove them because the computer was throwing out all these unexcused absences and they were mistakes on the school’s part? She kept giving me the run around until I told her, “Ok then, I’ll just go ahead and call the Superintendent like I intended to do in the first place and report Mr. Torres. Thank You.” She suddenly remembers I can speak to the man and says, “Let me get him for you.” Yeah. That’s right bitch.

So I spoke to the dumbass and I let him know I wasn’t happy that he still, after over a month, hadn’t removed those absences as he said he would. He says he was removing them from the computer that very moment and proceeds to tell me John may get appealed, but that most likely he won’t. Over his (Mr. Torres’) dead body. I don’t think so. But yeah, got that straighted out. That boy better pass and get his credits or there will be hell to pay.

Jose arrived today at around 9am. He needed to get away for a bit so he came down from Arizona. Mario’s hoping to get the day off tomorrow–1) so he can actually have a day off and 2) so he can spend time with his uncle.

I hope things are better at work today for Mario. He called me last night and said he had a bad day, then called later and told me what happened. He backed a brand-new Avalanche into another car and the owner was a total bitch. Instead of having the smaller-than-a-dime scratch fixed, she insisted on wanting a whole new bumper. Mario felt really bad and agreed to get her a new one. Luckily, the company’s paying for half and Mario’s paying for half. So, Mario has to pay $100. He felt horrible. He also got written up for it. He kept saying, “Merry Christmas to me” and “Well, there’s my Christmas present”. I’m still going to get him something. He wants the Carolina Herrera for men cologne. I know we’ll be short this next paycheck, but I’ll figure something out. Damn that crotchety old bat *clenches fist*.

OK…I’ve had enough of a break. Gonna go with Noelia to pick Eenan up and then I’m gonna get home and start on those cookies.

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