Category: Health

I’m in such a shitty mood right now. I don’t even know WHERE to begin. I guess I’ll begin from the beginning.

I woke up with a feeling of foreboding. The boys and my Taekwondo test (yellow-advanced to orange belt) is tomorrow and I just felt so nervous, especially about the sparring part *stomach flips*. I was possibly even more nervous about the fact that my period is about 3 weeks late, give or take, and I’m REALLY praying it doesn’t decide to make an appearance (literally) DURING my test!

I know I can’t be pregnant since I had my tubal (I REALLY hope I’m not. Everyone always cheerfully reminds me, “You COULD be the 1%!”), so since I’m not, what the hell else is going on? The hypochondriac in me starts replaying all those Mystery Diagnosis episodes I’ve ever seen that have anything to do with the uterus.

I had to wake up early because I had an appointment, so I got ready and tried to shake the feeling away. Ate a quick breakfast of milk, homemade Rice Crispies Treat and a banana (I know, gross). Mom came over to watch the girls, Mario left to work and I went to the appointment. Appointment was over and then I went to Walmart for a few things.

I’m driving home and see the Golden Arch up ahead. I felt really down and thought, An iced coffee and some chocolate chip cookies should cheer me up! So there I go to the McDonald’s drive thru. I know better. I’d been eating really well and avoiding junk food (I’m finally at 119 lbs. My goal is 110). BUT. Since I know that Luis (my TKD instructor), John and I and several others are starting P90X this coming Sunday at 12 noon, I’ve been eating everything in sight, weather it’s healthy or not. My logic is, “Ehh, after Sunday I’mma lose all these pounds and calories!”

I get home and John’s already here, paying his bills online. He shakes his head in disappointment when I emerge through the door with my medium coffee and cookies in hand. I tell him how I’ve been stuffing my face like there’s no tomorrow and he bursts out laughing and says, “Me too!”

Spend some time with the girls and I wash dishes while they eat lunch. Then I eat lunch. I could hardly eat, partly because I felt disgusting and gluttonous from my 500 calorie snack (I looked it up) and partly because I felt nauseous and had a headache thinking about my test. I can’t think about it without my heart skipping a beat and my stomach flipping. I know I’ve got the basics and kicks down, and maybe even breaking the boards with no problem, but the SPARRING! Ernesto’s pairing me with 2 14-year-olds, one of which is Luis’ COUSIN and has competed before and fights like a guy! The other’s a white belt, but she’s taller and both are much faster than I am! I know, I know: I should stop being so hard on myself and think positive. But I’ve never actually fought anyone “for real” before! When I “spar” against Ernesto or Luis, they’re teaching me techniques and letting me kick them! I don’t feel prepared at all!

I got Alaethia ready and we picked up the boys from school. Got a summary of their day, helped Eenan with homework and then started getting ready for TKD. I seriously felt like barfing just thinking of going.

I get there and Ernesto’s on time LOL. I start stretching and Esther gets there with her son. (She’s the girl now taking class with me; Norma dropped out around November.) We start jogging, then take turns doing kicks. Then we take turns beating up Bob (the dummy LOL) or kickboxing with Ernesto. Luis arrives as we’re doing that and then Mary, Alaethia and the boys arrive. As we’re getting ready to put on the chest protectors and head gear, two dads show up with their kids. Great! An audience! I hate that >_<. Well we start sparring. I'm actually doing pretty good, getting 2, 3 kicks in and Esther's doing pretty good seeing as how it's her first time. Ernesto separates us, gives us some tips and gets after me for not using any of the techniques he showed me during Saturday's practice. So we start again. I'm blocking, kicking, sliding back, kicking and then I blocked a kick Esther was heading towards me WITH MY FIST! Her knee pushed my wrist into my arm joint. The same wrist that I've had that Ganglion Cyst in for the past 2 years. The same cyst that had JUST popped about 2 weeks ago after doing pushups in class. It popped again and I seriously thought I broke my wrist. I was just going to try and continue, but when I tried to close my first I said, "OW!" and clutched my fist to my chest. Ernesto came over to see what happened. He asked if I could move my fingers and I almost threw up and passed out when I saw my fingers just DANGLING there. I kept trying to make my brain make my fingers move but nothing happened! He started to massage pressure points along my arm and FINALLY, I began to feel my fingers again. It was the worst shooting pain from my finger tips, to my wrist, to my elbow. It was like hitting your funny bone really hard, times 10! I was so embarrassed on top of being in the worst pain in my life. I couldn't believe how stupidly I reacted; why didn't I just slide back and kick instead of trying to block?? I sat in complete agony while the boys were in class. I kept trying to move my fingers and pump my fist, but every little movement I made was awful. The boys' class was finally over and I drove to the ATM to get cash out, since Mary had paid for my test so I wouldn't have to drive so soon after my injury. We get to Aziz and as I slide out of the seat I feel a terrible pain in my knee. I had a HUGE welt! I hadnt even noticed I'd been hit there, or my shin LOL.

The pain in my wrist overrode everything else. I vaguely remember Esther kicking really low, so I’m sure a few more bruises will show up tomorrow!

Mary made sandwiches for the boys and Mom fed the girls. I had leftover nachos from yesterday, even though I shouldn’t have. But it was the lovely comfort food I needed right now. I can’t wait for Mario to get home. I need to be cuddled.

John made me feel a tad bit better when I was texting him about my ordeal and I tell him, “And that’s because we were just practicing! Imagine tomorrow when I fight a girl 14 years younger than me and a belt more advanced!” He replies, “You must fight to win, grasshoppa!” LMAO! That’s why I love my brudder!

I just hope I feel well enough to test tomorrow! And if I do, I hope I don’t come out injured any worse than I did today! Luis’ cousin, I’m told, mostly kicks to the head!! This type of stuff is what makes me want to just drop out and not continue. I hate sparring! It’s not like I’m ever going to compete. I don’t want to be a quitter, and I don’t want to seem weak, though. One thing’s for sure though: I’m never blocking with my fist at that angle ever again!

(You know, I’m glad I still have you, blog. Even though I neglect you, you’re always there for me when I need you. I feel tons better after getting all this off my chest!)

I’m going to have to start making some changes. I don’t even know where to start.

I finally got to see Maggie and catch up with her after a month last night. She and Jorge came over to have some drinks with us and she told me all about her trip to San Antonio with her new boss. She’s doing fabulously at this new job and I’m so glad, too. She’s at the perfect place to help her already budding talent grow.

We talked till 3am (and it felt like it was still too soon for them to leave LOL). After Mario and I spent some time alone together (the baby was up with us late, too, since she didn’t seem to want to miss anything) we went to bed at 4am. Needless to say we didn’t wake up till noon. Well, the girls and I did. Thank God for Mary who drops the boys off for us in the morning!

I figured today would be the 2nd to the last or the last day of this cold/cough. Instead of feeling better I’ve felt shaky, dizzy and nauseous all day. At first I thought it was because I woke up so late and it threw me off, or because I hadn’t drank coffee in a week & a half, hence the jitteriness but I felt like that all day.

Mario and I picked up the boys while Mom watched the girls, then came back to drop off the boys so Mario and I could run some errands. We paid Mario’s speeding ticket ($149 down the drain, thank you) and I finally got Emily’s birth certificate. We looked for a new power supply at Radio Shack for the modem but Adan called him and said he had an extra one and would fix the internet for us (it wasn’t working). As we were leaving the store we saw a guy selling elote en vaso (corn in a cup) and Mario wanted some. As the guy starts preparing the cup, I nudge Mario and whisper, “The mayo’s not cold!” It was just there, out in the heat. I asked the man, in Spanish, if it was safe to eat and he said yes, he’d just made one before ours but he always kept it in a cooler with ice. He opens a cooler full of ice and shows us the indentation where the mayo usually rests. I feel a little better about it and order one, too. I was relieved to see him Germ-x’ing as well.

We went to Walmart for groceries because I’d been sick and hadn’t done the shopping during the weekend. We were even out of TP, which NEVER happens LOL.

On the way home I started feeling really nauseous. I started cursing the elote en vaso because I felt exactly the way I did last Monday when I got sick after Taekwondo.

Mom wanted to order a Botana so we went on a search for a Mexican restaurant down Tom Gill. Both of the restaurants on the street were closed. So we ordered from El Pato and came home to unload the groceries. Eenan’s helping me put stuff away and he double takes as he sees the gigantic love bite Mario left on me. 12 years with that man and he still thinks it’s hilarious to do that. I feel so embarrassed with those darn things! Anyway, Eenan double takes and says, “MOM! What happened to your neck!” I blurt out, “Your dad scratched me.” I closed my eyes and prayed he wouldn’t ask anything else, but of course he asks, “How did he scratch you like THAT?!”

I say, “I don’t know–get me that bag of cans.” Thankfully he left it at that, but he looked mighty suspicious.

Mario and I went to pick up the Botana after I was done. I was shaking and on the verge of puking by the time we got back. I couldn’t even smell the food, I was so nauseous. I tell Mario, “I think I’m starting to have problems with my glucose again,” and he says, “Um, yeah. I told you.”

I find my glucose meter and—as much as I hate to—checked my sugar. It was at 71 when I’d just had a whole cup of corn an hour earlier, which is really starchy and makes Mom’s sugar go through the roof. Everyone forced me to eat even though I couldn’t stand the nausea, but about half an hour after eating I started to feel better. John came over and ate with us and made me laugh, so that made me feel better, too; got my mind off of everything.

I’m going to have to get on the “Diabetic Diet” that I was following May 2008. I had to eat 6 small meals instead of 3 regular ones, or actually 3 small meals and 3 snacks in between. The only thing that worries me is Taekwondo. Because of all this I’m probably only going to go the remainder of the month. It makes my blood sugar drop A LOT and I don’t want to have an episode ever again like I did last week.

After dinner Mario went to Adan’s to get the modem fixed and I watched Biggest Loser while the boys played their handhelds (they’re excited that Mario found some…thing for their DS’s). When it was time for them to shower and go to bed for school I came to the bedroom with Emily and she happily played in her playpen while I cleaned up the bedroom. Alaethia watched The Wizard of Oz in her room.

My bedroom was a freaking mess; crap everywhere from all over the house that we didn’t know where else to put. So I got laundry, trash, closet and garage sale piles going on. I’m hoping to have a garage sale soon, but with this heat and spontaneous rainy weather we’ll see how that goes.

I watched the VMA’s, finally, while I cleaned. The Michael Jackson tribute was amazing! I was emotional the whole time. When the awards first aired on Sunday I saw Twitterworld going crazy about something Kanye did to Taylor Swift. He’s such an idiot, I swear. Why the heck didn’t a bodyguard or security or something tackle him to the ground? I think it was so gracious and awesome of Beyonce to give Taylor her moment. I got emotional during that part, too. This period of mine needs to come soon, for real. I’ve been a ball of absolute hormones since I’m…15 days late. No, people, I’m not pregnant! My cycle just goes completely wonky when I start a new workout routine. From doing absolutely nothing (well, not really, I was doing the treadmill) to TAEKWONDO my body REALLY freaked the hell out!!

Plan for tomorrow: finish up the bedroom. I need to get my bookcase dusted, books reorganized, side table cleared off and the closet organized. Everything that belongs in it is in it but all over the floor. Looks like the closet barfed. I blame that mostly on Mario who messes with the wires he’s got up there and decides to throw my boxes and hangers everywhere and doesn’t put them back. Hmph.

Oh yeah, and I’ve got to get the girls’ closet cleaned out. They’ve got tons of clothes they’ve grown out of.

I’m hoping I’ll get to make it to Taekwondo tomorrow. I feel lazy and gross going a week and a half without doing anything physical. I’m worried that’ll become a problem once I stop going to Taekwondo but now that I know what the workout is (and that I have to do it for an hour as opposed to 30 minutes like I was doing before) I think I’ll be alright.

OMG and I have to mention that Emily started making “a face”. She gets really happy and starts smiling all big with her eyes all crinkled up. Cutest thing EVER. I actually caught all these silly expressions on camera so I’ll hopefully get those up soon :).

I’m babbling now. Obviously time for bed.

So. I haven’t posted an entry in pretty much: forever. Again, I blame the social networking sites. And the fact that every time I seem to open up WordPress a child needs something, the cat’s climbing my legs (more on that later), the husband’s calling or I feel guilty being in front of the computer and not with the babies, heh.

I’ve been sick just about this whole darn week, first with a stomach bug or something related to my blood sugar–I don’t know which one–and now I’ve caught the cold that’s been skipping from kid to kid. GREAT.

Thank God Mom’s here to help me with the girls. Alaethia’s pretty much independent, only needing to be put in the high chair for meals or assistance in the bathroom, but Emily still completely needs someone so it’s tough being sick. Thankfully this is one of the only times I’ve been sick since she was born, but my gosh, I hope this is it for the rest of the YEAR.

I guess I shall emphasize:

I started going to Taekwondo about…3 weeks ago. Norma, Aaron’s mom (Jaylen’s best friend’s mom), had been trying to convince me to go since two weeks before that. I finally decided to give it a try. The first week I went Wednesday night and Friday night. And my God. I hadn’t been that sore since…ever! I’d hurt in places I didn’t even know I could hurt!

Norma didn’t go that first Friday night, and I asked Maggie if she’d go with me but at the last minute she had a client stay late. I was already at the building by the time I found out so I braved being the only girl and went on my own. Luckily there was another girl there that night; unluckily she was an 18-yr-old champion Black Belt LOL. I felt mediocre compared to her, but I was there to exercise so I didn’t let it get to me. It was weird that, until I told her, she thought I was younger than her. That made me feel a little better, heh.

We had a bar-b-q for Noelia’s birthday that Saturday. We chilled out till late evening. The lights went out and you could hear kids screaming randomly throughout both houses LOL. We collected all of them, brought them to my living room and Mario and I began lighting candles everywhere. See? I told him all those scented candles would come in handy!!

We went outside and chilled out under the party porch. Emily was feeling sickly & NEEDS to be in the air conditioning or else she throws a fit. She wasn’t a happy camper. She began a screaming fit that caused us all to go bananas. We couldn’t figure out what was wrong with her. It was a mixture of developing a diaper rash, being hot and being sleepy. When the lights and air came back on we dipped her in the bath and she fell right to sleep!

We went to town the next day. I saved $12.50 at Target by using a whole heckload of coupons they sent me! Right after that we went to Walmart for grocery shopping and…piercing Emily’s ears! I’d been meaning to do it since she was 4 months old (she’s 6 months now for those who don’t know), but something kept coming up. Mom wanted to get them done for her like she did Alaethia’s, so did. We met Yadira, Tommy and the kiddos at Walmart and Angela got her ears re-pierced too. She went first. Emily went next and my heart almost thumped out of my chest when I held her on my lap. Yazmin snapped away with my camera for me. The girl sanitized and put the little earring gun to her ear and she was fine…until I whispered, “She didn’t cry!” And all hell broke loose LOL. Poor baby couldn’t stop. By the time she’d calmed down enough to get the other ear done a crowd had formed to witness what was happening to the poor baby LOL.

She calmed down and seemed like nothing ever even happened once we started walking around the store and shopping. Thank goodness. I felt like an awful mother LOL. But at least we got it over with, and before her Baptism, too.

We spent the whole first week of September’s evenings at Taekwondo practice because the belt test would be that Saturday. The boys were doing magnificently; they were totally ready except for a few tiny things they had to work on. I, on the other hand, was NOT getting the darn form! I couldn’t understand why we had to turn the way we were, or why we were doing this block or that punch. I felt like an idiot and I just wanted to quit.

Didn’t help that Monday night, while getting out of my extremely high (well, for me) van, I hurt my darn left foot! So I couldn’t kick as well as I had been just the week before. Mario went to see me that night and I felt shy and embarrassed LOL. He said I was doing really well, though!

By the time Wednesday came around my left foot was still hurting and since I couldn’t balance very well on it, I wasn’t kicking (pi-chagis) correctly with my right foot and was hurting my toes! But the workouts were really intense. I’m not very big on running, because I have boobs of course, but I like the type of workouts we do. You work everything out. I wasn’t going to weigh myself till Saturday, because I’d weighed myself the Saturday before (weighed 130.5), but I couldn’t wait. I weighed 126.5! I hadn’t weighed anything in the 120s since before I had Emily and right after I did (but gained a lot back, unfortunately)!!

So that was my new motivation to keep going. Ever since I’d started Taekwondo I began really watching what I ate, because I kept telling myself I worked out too hard (REALLY HARD) to fuck it all up by stuffing my face with everything I saw.

I remembered taking video of the boys with Ernesto, the older teacher, when he taught them the white belt form step-by-step, number-by-number. And I found it! I studied it and within 30 minutes I learned it!!! I wasn’t a failure; just needed to understand the rhyme and rhythm behind it!

I was so ready to show off my form that night and when it came down to it, I messed up a step LOL. I just get nervous. Which is why I decided I wasn’t ready to take the test that Saturday. Norma’d been going 4 weeks already and she was ready. The only crappy thing was I didn’t want to be the only adult white belt left!

Oh, I forgot to mention: that Tuesday Mario and I finally went to the credit union to get a personal loan out to consolidate (on our own) our credit card bills. We were paying up the ass a month for them, especially now that every single one had upped the interest rate a month before Obama’s new law goes into effect. It was becoming ridiculous. It took some doing, but in the end we’re paying about half a month for 4 years now, fixed rate and everything. I feel so…liberated!! No more credit cards for us. It was the stupidest thing we’ve done as a married couple to rack up those darn things. From now on, if we don’t have the money for it, we’re not buying it!! Except for Home Depot…we always need that one! And it’s easy to pay off!

Since we didn’t have practice Friday I took the afternoon to pay off all the bills that could be done at the stores. I even ended up finding two size 8 red polos for the boys. I returned two of the medium ones they didn’t like because they were too long.

We had Annie’s sister’s (Marci’s) baby shower to go to on Saturday. We got to chit-chat with Annie, eat and then had to run and pick up the boys on time to get them to the belt test. I was so nervous for them! Poor Eenan was really nervous. He kept putting his hands in his face and even asked for a bathroom break. They did really well, though, I was so proud! They even had to break a board at the end of the test, which took all of us by surprise! Jaylen did a Chito-chagi kick (a straight up and down kick) and broke it. Eenan did an open-palm punch and broke it. It was amamzing! I wish I had the pics up to show you guys! I’ll post them here when I get the chance.

I started feeling like I could do the test, too, but there was no way I’d get to talk to anyone about it. I began to feel silly because I was actually becoming a little emotional about not testing LOL. Jaylen had gone over to Norma’s to play with Aaron so I went to pick him up and her hubby told me I should inquire about testing. I couldn’t do it, though. I quickly made dinner (enchiladas) and went to see Norma test. I totally could have done it!! The yellow belts testing for yellow advanced had to spar and I got a little scared when one of my former students was sparring and kicked another kid in the teeth! It chipped his tooth; sounded like someone had snapped a twig or something. I’m not so sure I want to be doing that part…

Andy and Noelia came over Sunday morning. Andy was going hunting with Mario’s uncles and Noelia, Mary, Mario, the kiddos and I actually went to church on Sunday. Well, the girls stayed with Mom. We’re going to try and start going every Sunday. Mario came to me one day and told me he’d like to try, and I’ve always wanted to so we’re going through with it. Mario had some work to do, but I went to the movies with Emily, the boys, Mary and Noelia to watch Aliens in the Attic. I actually enjoyed it much more than I thought I would! Alaethia had a fun day of shopping with Mom, Elda and her mom LOL.

Monday was another normal day. Mary went with us to the boys’ Taekwondo where I asked Luis about possibly testing during the week for my yellow belt. He said sure, we’d practice that night and if I was ready maybe I could take the test the next day. Awesome!

He taught the boys the yellow belt form that night. Jaylen, who’s much more eager about learning Taekwondo that Eenan, wanted to watch the video I’d recorded of them doing the form so I found it and everyone watched him practice. He learned it! I realized it was 7:30 and got in to take a shower really quick. No time for dinner, but I felt good enough to wait till after practice. Big mistake. We were doing Moola kicks, which require you to spin and I was dizzy halfway through class! I was grateful when we got our water break and stuffed half a granola bar in my mouth. I didn’t feel any better by the end of class. Couldn’t even finish doing the lunges or jumping jacks–so embarrassing. I took a seat and tried to collect myself. The room was spinning and turning colors and I was shaking like a leaf. A chihuahua’s actually what I imagined myself like that night, LOL.

I got into the car and sat there, shaking, for 10 minutes, until I saw that just about everyone was leaving the dojo. I don’t know how I drove home, but I did. I just wanted to get home and rest, but Eenan couldn’t find his backpack anywhere so we searched and searched. It was nowhere to be found. We got ready for bed and I just didn’t feel good. Sure enough, an hour after I laid down I started vomiting. Like there was no tomorrow. And other unpleasant things. I did so 3 times during the night, which is crazy because it takes A LOT for me to throw up.

I couldn’t keep anything down, not even water or Gatorade. I still don’t know what the heck happened. Food poisoning? My sugar being too low? A stomach bug? I don’t know. But it was awful.

I felt horrible the entire next day. Thank God Mario was off work. He had a lot to do that day though, so he wasn’t around very much. Mom was thankfully here to help me with the girls. Luis had also called to set up a test time for me, which would be the next morning but I told him I just couldn’t. Maybe next week?

I’m not even sure I want to go back. I got scared. If this did have something to do with my sugar, I don’t want to have another episode like that AGAIN. And this is the 3rd time I go to Taekwondo without eating before. But we’ll see. I’ll finish off the month, maybe test. I definitely don’t want to get into sparring, especially with the guys! Call me a chicken or what have you but I have enough problems with my teeth without having them be knocked out. And my 4 children need their mother in one piece. I just wanted to lose some weight!!

The next day was Mary’s birthday and we went to Andy and Noelia’s to celebrate. I’d kept down some crackers and a Ramen noodles so I figured it was ok to eat. Well, I ATE. Shrimp, corn on the cob, steak and chocolate cake I’d made. Needless to say I felt gross the entire next day, but I didn’t get sick at all, thank goodness. I just couldn’t eat till the evening because I was nauseous.

It’s been raining like crazy lately and with rain comes power outages, all the time. We had a thunderstorm that day that brought along with it a power outage and power surge that shorted the modem’s power supply, the HDMI cable, Alaethia’s TV, our phone and our DVD player! Thank GOD my laptop was okay!

I felt well enough to go to the store with Mom and walk down the block with Emily to take a picture of a rainbow we’d seen. I ate chili and that went well so glad that’s over!

And then I woke up this morning with a damn cold!! Emily’d gotten sick a few nights ago and the three other kiddos already had colds so it was bound to happen with my immune system being so weak right now. I’ve got tissues stuffed up my nose as I type this. Not really how I imagined spending my Friday night, but beggars can’t be choosers *shrug*. At least I’m not puking!!