Maybe it’s because I kept waking up last night, then had to be up at 5:00am to drop Alaethia off at practice by 6:30am. Or maybe it’s because I’ve been gorging on carbs since Valentine’s Day after doing really well for over a month. Or maybe because I’m fasting again to get back into Keto and I was starving. Or maybe because I had to *ask* for someone to cover my lunch hour. Or maybe because just about everyone I’ve come into contact with today has annoyed/pissed me off. Or maybe because I was supposed to start my period 2 days ago and all that sadness and anger is festering into an atom-bomb of depressy-rage…but yeah. I’m in a shit mood.
Being in this mood makes me want to eat an entire cake, or chocolates, or box or Oreos on my own. Or buy shoes or a dress. But I can’t do either of those things…
So I guess I’ll eat my (very delicious) blackened salmon salad and attempt to put myself in a better mood.
Anyway. This is my life lately. Be sad. Be angry. Eat. And so on. I keep telling myself I’m going to write more to express myself and whatever, but I never get the chance. Or I just want to bitch about stuff 😆 . Hopefully I’ll write about happier things soon. Like Alaethia’s team that made district champs! Or Valentine’s Day!
I’m not going to sugarcoat it: this year has fucking blown.
Aside from getting “custody” of my stepsons (their choice) in January and all my kids being healthy and doing well in school–everything else has just SUCKED.
In February I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression (which I passed on to my poor Eenan) and that was the start of the snowball effect of losing interest in running (aside from injuring my knee a year ago in December 2018), gaining weight due to lack of exercise and becoming bored of Keto, not accomplishing my goals (i.e. going to school), amongst tons of other things. Don’t even get me started on the money situation–SWEET JESUS.
It seems like this year, every time we got some kind of break, or some kind of silver lining began to shine through it would all come crashing down. Murphy’s Law of Life was a quick fucker this year.
I know people could have it worse. I know there’s a roof over our heads and the kids are healthy. But everything else–it just overall sucks.
It’s officially been 20 years since I was supposed to graduate in the year 2000 (I graduated in 1999 so I could go to college early and what-not and then ended up a momma at 17). I didn’t attend the “official” reunion because most of the people that were attending were people that I didn’t even know.
Gina was going to be in town the 2nd week of October (she and her hubs live in New Orleans) so the girls and I made up our own mini-reunion. We invited classmates from McHi and Travis but in the end it ended up being just us, a couple of other girls (that I sadly don’t remember) and Lazaro and his girlfriend, Amanda. My kiddos were at their dad’s so this mama planned on finally not being an old lady, for once, and staying out passed 10pm!
We started off at The Quarter:
Then the party moved on to Cigar Bar, which I hadn’t been to since Sandra’s birthday last year, and before that, about 7 years ago!
(I’m sad that we didn’t reunite when I lost 20 lbs. in 2017-2018!! Hence the reason I’m trying to get back to Keto, but food is just my kryptonite!)
Speaking of, I wanted to stay 100% Keto, and I had succeeded so far during the evening–until the shots started being passed around like crazy. Having tons of shots and not having carbs for an extended period of time is not good at all! To make a long story short, Sally left, then Karina and her hubs left and I stayed with Martha and Gina and her hubs and Lazaro and Amanda. I couldn’t drive, so Gina was going to get me an Uber…and then we couldn’t remember my address 😆 . So I ended up staying at her house. You can imagine how livid Jorge was!! But I was safe, and no one drank and drove and we had an excellent time 🙂 .
Still, I was so shocked with myself that I decided to stay sober until it was time for our next reunion in November.
Magda was spearheading this one. It would be at Mariela’s house and we’d be celebrating Juan B.’s birthday at the same time.
The kiddos and I had a lazy Saturday:
Martha and I were the only 2 from our group that were going, originally. Then, when the day finally came around, she nor I wanted to attend. It was the introvert, yay-for-cancelled-plans, social anxiety-ridden person I’ve become rearing her head. Plus, Jorge was home, too, so I felt bad going. Karina and Sally were the ones who ended up convincing me to go. Like, they were literally here–waiting for me to make up my mind LOL. So Jorge stayed with the kiddos while we went for a couple of hours.
It was a little awkward for Sally and I, as we hadn’t spoken to most of the girls for a good amount of time, but it was nice seeing everyone. Paul, Juan B. and Carlos were there, too.
We chit-chatted, caught up, took photos, left at a decent hour and talked about life on the way home. Love my gals!!
Jorge and I were leaving to San Antonio Sunday morning and returning on Monday evening. Well–Jorge was bringing me back home and he would return to work Tuesday. They were having tons of changes at the last minute so he had to go back way sooner than we thought. Still, it was nice to take a road trip with him and spend almost the entire weekend together.
(This was around the time I began to tread into non-Keto country 🙄 )
Hubs sent me on an errand run to pick stuff up for his stores. Marshall’s was one of my stops and I ended up finding some chocolate covered cookies and Torani syrups!
Then it was time for us to drive home and the cold front was in full swing–cold, windy and rainy all the way. It was good to get home, shower and go to sleep!