Category: Funny

Been a while, hasn’t it? Everytime I sat in front of the computer to blog I was summoned by the children or husband or there was something I hadn’t done (cleaning, laundry, etc.) and had to do it. I actually started on this entry since the 22nd and have been adding bits here and there when I get the chance. I managed to start on some graphics for the visitor content on…I don’t remember when. Nothing big or “wow” or anything, but I was feeling pixelly and generous . Let’s see how long that lasts.

Let’s see if I can summarize everything without making each day a novel, but you know that never happens .

Friday was the usual–dropping Eenan off, being home with Jaylen, picking Eenan up from school and then just relaxing after that. I made lasagna for dinner while I watched America’s Next Top Model and then Mario got home. We ate, Eenan left with Mary to sleep over at her house, then Mario, Jaylen and I got ready to go to Jorge’s. We got there and they we bar-be-cuing. While the men tried to get Jorge’s Chevy to work, Maggie and I talked and then went to her mom’s house since her sister-in-law wanted to see the baskets she’s selling. She’s selling Easter baskets–and lots of them! We bought two of them for the boys and Mario got me a huge mug with bunnies on it with a bunny plush inside with some candies. Too cute . We got back and ate and after talking for about another hour we came home.

Mario and I woke up early Saturday morning since he had to go to work. I made breakfast, we ate, and then he left. Mary was outside cleaning and asked me to look through some toys the boys had outside in a box and see if there was anything we should throw out. Ended up getting rid of a plastic wagon that had too many spider/beetle eggs to count; a whole bunch of broken toys and pieces of toys that belong to other toys that had been sold at the garage sales. I helped her sweep the ceiling of the roof over the deck, which was covered in cobwebs. We have a Daddy Long Leg spider problem…they’re everywhere! Especially outside. I cleaned the outside of my kitchen window and the door and after everything was nice and clean, I noticed how old and dirty the door looked. So I painted it. I washed all the windows, then came inside and washed the window from the inside and removed all the curtains since they needed a washing. Sonia, and Annie and Catherine were all here so I came in and took a shower. I went back to Mary’s to chat with everyone when I was done and somehow we got into the discussion about breasts and bras. Annie told me mine looked nice and asked to see my bra. I stupidly asked, “How?”, and she said, “Do it like you’re gonna flash me.” So, embarrassed and shy as I was, I showed her and Sonia my bra LOL. I’m super shy about showing people my body, even if it’s just my stomach, so that was weird for me. She said my boobs looked so nice it would make a woman want to squeeze them . Never gotten a compliment like that before!

Noelia arrived with Andy a while later. He ate and we all talked to him and he seemed really comfortable. I ran back and forth from the kitchen to the bathroom to mingle and bathe the kids at the same time. While I flat-ironed my hair, Jaylen was with Noelia and Andy and was wrestling with Andy. He loved that LOL.

Everyone left and then Mary, Yazmin, the boys and I left to a birthday party. It was Melba’s little girl’s 2nd birthday. The kids had fun jumping in the moon jump for about an hour, they ate and then got their candy bags with these noisy-as-hell balloon things, we said our good-bye’s and thank-you’s and we left. We went to Wal-Mart and bought a turtle-shaped sandbox for Jaylen (Mom’s birthday present to him). After that we went to H-E-B to get a few groceries. Yazmin went with me while Mary stayed in the van with the boys and the cashier fluirted with me a bit…I still got it! We got some Taco Bell after that and ate in the van while we waited for Mario to get out of work. Mary took the Sentra to get that nasty noise fixed (the exhaust had two holes!) so he was without a car. We went to Jorge and Maggie’s after we got home and Mario changed clothes. Maggie and I had margaritas again and had a long talk about parenting.

Sunday, we woke up early to go deposit money at the bank and lo-and-behold, it was closed. It used to be open on Sunday’s…dumb bank. Mary was watching the boys for us (who were in their new sandbox before we even left!) since we were celebrating our 6 year wedding anniversary that day (since our actual anniversary’s on Easter). We went to Home Depot to get a few tools Mario needed and I oogled over the beautiful kitchens. If we ever get our house I want a nice, spaceous kitchen that has a place for every, single thing. I want it to be as un-cluttered as possible–not jam-packed the way it is now . We went to Sears for, of course, more tools and then to JCPenny to make our JCP card payment.

We decided we’d try TGIFriday’s since we’d never been there. We ordered motzerella sticks…the best I’ve had in a long while. We talked and enjoyed the atmosphere (and I realized I analize things too much. I kept wondering “Who cleans all the way up there?”, “Did they get permission from each company to display the vintage posters?” I can’t ever just enjoy my surroundings…I always ask questions and it can become quite annoying ).

Anyway, Mario had the Jack Daniel burger and I had the new Sizzling Chicken and Shrimp plate. OMG…I was in absolute heaven. Everything was REALLY good. I even got two huge heaps of mashed potatoes (the BEST I’ve ever tasted)…but I only ate one heap . We contemplated ordering dessert, since we were so very full, and ordered the Brownie Obsession. Oh. My. God. It was soooo good. Mario kept saying he couldn’t possibly eat dessert and ended up eating half of it LOL. We forced ourselves to eat it because it was just that good.

We were supposed to go to a movie after lunch, but we were so full and sleepy we decided to go home. We took a 2 hour nap with the boys and when I woke up I finished cleaning up since I’d left everything undone the day before. We went to Wal-Mart later on and got the house supplies, a corkboard for Gramma’s room at the nursing home and Eenan got himself a fish . He’d been wanting one forever and “saved” a dollar in quarters to buy him LOL. It was the cutest thing. His (I’m assuming it’s a he…) name’s Goldie and he’s a goldfish. He’s been doing pretty good with feeding him. He’s going to take Goldie and Smokey, the gerbil, to school when they go back to school next week for show-and-tell. Ms. O. asked me if we really had that many pets, to which I replied, “Oh my gosh…yes we do” LOL. We’ve got a petting zoo!

We went to see Gramma after that and put the corkboard on the wall and arranged all the pictures she had tacked on her wall. We’d get frames, but I don’t think they’d allow that many holes in the wall . So, a corkboard seemed like the next best thing. We talked and laughed with Gramma and asked her just WHAT she was watching since it was a “sexy” movie LMAO. We joked about that the rest of the time we were there.

We went to H-E-B and picked up a few things to bar-be-cue since Mario was in the mood to cook-out. We got home, set Goldie up in his new home and then I got everything ready, put Eenan to bed, and joined Mario outside by the fire pit. It was such a nice night out. We talked and laughed and it was so nice that Jaylen ended up falling asleep on a lawn chair LOL. We brought the food inside when it was ready and we watched The Ladykillers while we ate. It was a great day .

Monday and Tuesday were basically the same thing that happens everyday. Except now that we have the sandbox, the daily schedule changed a bit. Now I pick Eenan up from school, we get home and he does his homework, they get in the sandbox, take their showers, I make dinner and we eat, they watch TV/play while I make Mario’s lunch for work the next day, and then they brush their teeth and go to bed. Now, if only we could actually stay ON schedule…

Poor Eenan didn’t get home from school on Wednesday till 4:07pm. He gets out at 3:15 . Since Noelia wasn’t coming home after school and I couldn’t borrow her car to pick him up, I had to call Sonia to pick him up for me. Well, she forgot and I got a call from Ms. O. at 3:47 that he still hadn’t been picked up. I panicked and appologized and said someone would be right there. She told me not to worry, that he was there with her. So, I call Sonia and she’s like, “OH MY GOD, I FORGOT, I’M SO SORRY!!” and said she’d go get him. He gets here and he’s all cheerful and told me, “Where were you, Mom? I missed you!” I asked him if he was scared and he said no, that Ms. O. was with him the whole time. Aww . She’s such a good teacher.

Wednesday night was spent stuffing/covering the Easter eggs the kids and I had dyed on Tuesday. Eenan needed 2 dozens for their Easter party. I also had to bake 24 cupcakes, and ended up having to make 2 boxes of batter since I over-filled the first 12 cupcakes . When we picked Eenan up today (Mario had the day off), Ms. O. told me how she had him pass out the cupcakes and he would lick the cupcake before he gave it to the kids LOL. She didn’t know how many he licked before she noticed. Silly kid…I can’t believe he did that!

While Eenan was in school I typed out a formal letter (2 actually) for Ricky and then we went to JCPenny to get Jaylen some shoes. Luck would have it that they didn’t have his size. I think the two employees who were helping us just didn’t bother to check. They were having an awesome sale if we used our card too. Grr. I spent the rest of the day hauling ass around the house, cleaning. Elda, Jose and the boys get here tomorrow and I didn’t want this place to be a mess. I still have to mop and tackle the bedroom and bathroom, but I did the most important parts (kitchen and living room). It’s 1am now and I just got the best, most wonderful massage from Mario and am so ready to sleep. G’nite!

(more…)

I was the first in line yesterday when I went to pick Eenan up from school. I feared being first since I’d never been first before and I didn’t know where I was supposed to “stop” in the parking line. So, I just stopped where the canopy ended. The sun was hitting us (Jaylen and I) so we got off to wait outside. I noticed the “elite Spanish-speaking mothers” were all huddled together but I just stood near them anyway. On the way over, Jaylen points down to a sewer cover and tells me that’s where the Ninja Turtles live. I look to where he’s pointing and say, “Oh yeah Baby, they do!” and when I looked up–he walked right into a pole . I quickly picked him up, rubbed his forehead and tried to console him when I hear gasps coming from all over the place. The Spanish Elites just stared at me, whispered and made faces at eachother as if I was the most appalling, un-fit mother they’d ever seen. One of them pointed me towards a water faucet where I could put water on his forehead, but I didn’t find it. She probably just told me about it so they could talk about me . When I got back one of the younger ones (the one I was actually jealous of for being so stylish–she MUST get up at 5am to get herself all dressed up. Who DOES that?!) just scanned me up and down and had this really constipated look on her face. When I told Mario about this all he said was, “Fuck ’em”. How right he is…fuck them. I can’t believe, if I actually spoke Spanish correctly, that I would have talked to those women. Screw that.

Needless to say, Jaylen got a really huge chipote (bump) on his forehead. He called it his “extra brain” LMAO. After putting some popsicles on the bump (I had NO ice), the swelling went down and today it’s barely noticeable. He just told me his extra brain is gone LOL.

Anyway, Eenan’s class came out and I see him with his hoodie sweater pulled over his head. I found it kind of odd, then spot Ms. O. and she shakes her head at me. I automatically knew something was wrong. She tells me he got a GPAR? which is a refferral I guess, because he punched a little boy in the privates. She says she tried talking to him but he wouldn’t say why he did it. She looked almost sorry to have written him up. Neither of us expected that from him, ever. At home I spoke to him and after half an hour, he tells me that little boy picks on him and is mean to him. I ask him if he was mean to him that day and he said no, that he was just mad at him. I told Ms. O. about it this morning and we both think the little boy picked on him so long, Eenan held it in and finally just got tired of it that day. He knows better than to hit, especially in that area. He’s grounded for the next 2 weeks. I was nervous and didn’t know what to say exactly. I just told him he knows better than to hit, not to hit anymore, and if anyone picks on him repeatedly, to tell his teacher. Taking it upon himself to “punish” someone will only get him in trouble. Hopefully he learned his lesson . I could so see the little boy’s Mom coming up to me and asking why my kid beat up her kid and it progress to some huge cat fight like on TV LOL.

When I got the kids buckled in the car, I start driving out. This asshole almost hit me since he didn’t want to let me through, yet it was my right of way. He had the nerve to stare me down when he was passing me on the street. Idiot.

The boys and I went to Sam’s with Mary and Noelia in the evening. We REALLY have to get a Sam’s card. We used to have one and got rid of it. But we really need one. Buying in bulk is cool .

After that we went to Target. I bought another plastic tote for old clothes and things I need to put away, a hot pink Hello Kitty air freshener for the car, a hot pink squeegee for the car’s windows (I hate when it’s dewey in the mornings!), and some foamy soap for the kids since they ran out. God I love Target. I could live in there.

I need to start putting all those old clothes away in a minute. We need to put the car seat, one of the “big” strollers, and the playpen into storage soon. It’s amazing how much crap we have . Mario wants to put the lamps Aunt Nora gave us into storage too. While eating breakfast this morning he tells me, “You know how you are with purses? I’ve noticed that’s how you are with lamps, too”. That is SUCH a lie. I only have a Hello Kitty lamp Mary gave me a few Christmases ago that goes on my bed side table and a silver lava/glitter lamp Aunt Nora gave me and that’s on my desk. And that’s it! Now, if he would have compared the purse thing to the shoe thing, then I’d have to agree . But doesn’t every girl need 10 bags and 10 shoes? He just doesn’t understand.

Okay, going to start folding little toddler clothes now and put them away *tear*.

(more…)

I went days without updating again…and that sucks because the darn entry gets super long. But, who cares .

Mario didn’t get out early that last Thursday, which sucked. He hasn’t had a day off. Friday was really laid back too and I spent a lot of time on MySpace. I found two of Mario’s cousins on there and John even made an account. I also saw someone whom I was really surprised to see. Let’s just say it brought back bad memories LOL. Nobody else I actually know offline is on there…where the heck is everyone?!

I picked Eenan up from school that day. I *hate* their new pick-up system. Before I’d leave the house at 3, drive into the parking area (which is too damn small) and park and wait till he got out. Now, I have to leave at 2:30-2:45 (he doesn’t get out till 3:25) and WAIT IN LINE IN THE STREET till they decide to open the gate. Yeah, the street. So we only leave one lane open for the people driving. If for some reason I’m ever late to pick him up, I’m going to be waiting in this ridiculously huge line. Gargh, I just despise that school’s brilliant ideas. At least the new principal didn’t send out a memo like the one from last year did notifying the parents about how the school’s not “responsible” for the kids before and after a certain time.

Speaking of school, and because of another event that happened this weekend, I realized I need to learn to speak more Spanish. I’ve mentioned it a thousand times before: I can understand it perfectly, read it, write it (somewhat) but when it comes time to having a conversation with someone, I fumble all over my words and end up forgetting what I want to say. It’s embarrassing. I’m just about the only parent at that school that doesn’t talk to all the other moms. They all speak Spanish (most ONLY Spanish) — even the moms who are close to my age. That’s another thing, most of the moms are much older than I am. They all gather together and talk to eachother and I just feel uncomfortable standing there so most of the time I wait till Eenan gets out to get out of the car. It’s not super important that I don’t talk to anyone there–I don’t think I’d have much in common with anyone–but I just really need to speak Spanish and that just sort of confirms it.

Anyway, when Mary got home from work we went to watch Pooh’s Heffalump Movie. Aww, it was SO cute! I even cried a little. Lumpy was the sweetest. I just didn’t really like how they didn’t pay much attention to Eeyore . The kids loved it…they actually sat through the whole thing.

We ate at Burger King afterwards, where I had a shrimp salad. I take forever to eat, so while I ate Mary took the boys to play in the play park. After a minute, I start hearing screams and started to worry. When I was done I go over there and sure enough, it was my children screaming . Jaylen had gone up the tubes with Eenan, but he went a different way and Eenan didn’t notice. So when Eenan came back down, he realized Jaylen wasn’t there and started screaming. Then Jaylen panicked and he screamed. Eenan had already gone up twice and couldn’t bring him back down. A little boy Eenan became friends with ended up going up there and leading Jaylen back down. When Eenan saw Jaylen he grabbed him and hugged him. He kept telling me, “I don’t know what I’d do without my Jaylen. I’d be so lonely!” .

When we got home John was already here (I’d left him the keys). We watched videos on big-boys.com till Mario got home and then we got ready to go to Jorge and Maggie’s. Mario brought pizza so we ate, and then went to Mary’s since Andy had come over. Mario and Mary hadn’t met him yet. Everyone thinks he’s really nice–so far, I think they all like him the best (out of the boyfriends Noey’s had).

The boys wanted to stay, so we left. I was so surprised Jaylen actually stayed without me LOL. We drank margaritas and just had a good time at Jorge’s.

Mario left to work the next day and John watched the boys while I went with Mary, Sonia and Yazmin to watch Constantine. I liked it–I like those types of movies. Could have done without some of Keanu’s stares into the camera and the ending could have been faster, but other than that, it was good .

We went to eat at Jesse’s Mexican Food after that and then to Target where I got a Bedtime Bear Cub. They had them on sale for $9.98!! I really wanted Love-a-lot or Cheer Bear but they only had Bedtimes, Funshines and Wish Bears. I want them all now–they’re so adorable !

I got those Hello Kitty stickers on Sunday at Party Universe. I’m already planning a layout around one of them buahaha.

We came home and the house was a disaster. I don’t know *what* John does when he’s “watching” the boys…because it doesn’t really seem like he watches them. The house is in shambles everytime I get back. So that’s what I did for the next hour–cleaned and made the boys help me clean. Mario got home from work, ate and then told me to get ready since Chris was having an engagement party. Chris and their friend Jorge seemed really happy that I went with Mario. They sent me off with the other wives/girlfriends who were all inside. It was one of the most awkward moments of my life. Most of the women there spoke only Spanish (story of my life!) so of course I sat there for most of the 3 hours just wishing the ground would swallow me. I only spoke twice the whole time I was there. Everyone was quiet the first two hours though. If I spoke more Spanish (or they spoke more English) I could have gotten along with them much better. I was just glad it was over when it was but felt a tad bit guilty when Chris and Jorge thanked me for coming and said they’d love it if I’d accompany Mario the next time there was a bar-be-cue or something . I’d love to go, as long as the women and men aren’t separated. It would be MUCH less uncomfortable.

The next day, I saw Mario off to work then went with Mary and the boys to Pet Smart, Party Universe (they have Ninja Turtle stuff for Jaylen’s party!), and then to the longest kiddie party I’ve ever been to in my life. The boys weren’t exactly “behaving”–hadn’t been all day–and the length of the party just made it worse. They had fun the first hour of the party though.

We left the party after two hours (and it still wasn’t over) and I was just so glad to be home. When Mario got home we dropped John off and Aunt Nora gave us some lamps and Mom had left me a bag of stuff. She gave me a Clinique make-up bag with all kinds of stuff . I didn’t get to see her though . She was still at work. We went to rent some movies (Wicker Park & Cellular) and bought Mean Girls for $7! It’s previously viewed, but hey, it works! Then we picked up McDonald’s and chilled out and watched movies. It was nice just being here with Mario.

And that was my weekend. Yesterday was spent cleaning and doing laundry–as is every Monday. Gonna feed Jaylen and myself before we have to go and spend that ghastly hour in line, in the car .

(more…)