Category: Funny

Warning: The first two paragraphs have a bit of swearing. Read at your own discretion.

John’s graduation was on Friday night. He was cool and collected until 5 o’clock came around and he only had an hour before he had to be at the Stadium. After that, he was a nervous wreck. Mary dropped him off then picked Sonia up and the boys and I finished getting ready.

We left when she got here and tried to find parking and a place to sit at the stadium. It was so packed. We got good seats anyway–well, until this woman and her noisy kids decided to sit beside us. Wait no, I meant to say, she sat ON TOP OF THE BOY beside me. And her kids sat on the boy too, which meant her daughter was half sitting on MY lap. This woman had to have been in her late 20’s, early 30’s and she was stomping her feet, jumping up and down, laughing, screaming–she was ridiculous. I tried ignoring her, which was extremely hard to do since she was right next to me. I scanned the field for John and Jennifer (who was also graduating) and the bottom of the bleachers for Mom and Aunt Nora to keep myself from smacking her (I’m not a violent person, really, but had you been next to that woman you’d understand–I should have taken video with my camera). Finally, after what seemed like forever, they started with the Pledge of Allegiance…and that woman YELLED THE WHOLE TIME while we stood there with our hands over our hearts. When Pomp and Circumstance blared out of the loudspeakers and the kids marched to their seats, the bitch smacks me on the back of the head with her disposable camera because she was swinging her arms like a maniac. She tells me, “Ay, perdon!” (sorry) while laughing the whole time. By then, I’d had it. I get about 4 inches from her face and tell her, “Can you please calm down? You’re moving way too much.” She looks at the boy who’s lap she’s sitting on and airheadedly says, “Que dijo?” (what’d she say?). I respond, “Que te calmes. Te estas moviendo mucho.” She shrinks back behind the guy, talking crap about me no doubt, and I mouth out, “Dumb bitch” . She moved away after that, thank the Lord. I feel sorry for the people she terrorized next.

The ceremony took forever. It was hot. There was 1,029 kids. The people giving out the diplomas kept getting the names screwed up. And finally, we see John go up there. I tried getting as many pictures as I could. We saw Jennifer go up and since they were getting to the end, we made our way down to the field to meet with everyone. It was absolute hell getting down there! People are so rude. They were pushing and shoving and elbowing. Jaylen had been asleep the whole time, and had just woken up when we started walking down, so he was kind of moody. I carried him the whole time we were down there basically, and my arm was SORE. It took about 15 minutes to find John…it was pure madness. He looked upset. I know for sure it was because he didn’t want to eat with everyone (Mom was treating all of us to Chilli’s) and 2, he didn’t get to see most of his friends, though honestly it would have taken all night to find anyone out there.

Mario was meeting us at Chilli’s since he wasn’t allowed to get out of work early. It was already 10 and we were barely eating dinner. We met my cousins Art, David and Art’s fiance Michelle there, too. It was a nice night. We all talked and laughed and talked with John about what he wanted to do now that school was over. I had the Alfredo Shrimp and Pasta, or something like that. It was good. It was so much food, I had to bring some with me. It was really late, so Eenan ended up falling asleep and came home with Mary. We all said our goodbyes and Mario, Jaylen and I went to Wal-Mart. He needed a new toolbox, locks, flints for his lighter and I got a Goodluck Bear tee and two cute skirts. We ended up leaving behind the darn bag with the locks, flints and tools Mario bought . I called Wal-Mart when we got home and talked to a manager. She told me to take our receipt with us and we could get our stuff back.

When Mary went to Wal-Mart the next day I talked to a cashier and everything went smoothly.

We went to watch Madagascar Saturday morning. It was such a cute movie . It was very predictable but it made the kids laugh uncontrollably. They really liked it. Can’t wait till it comes out on DVD .

We came home and basically just vegged out all day. When I was going to feed the turtles I noticed Squirt didn’t swim away from me frantically like he usually did. I look closer and notice the filter’s sucking up his little foot! I talk to him and say, “Squirt, what are you doing?” and when I pick him up, his little head flops to the side. My heart sank. He was dead . I don’t know what happened. I had just been telling Mario 2 days before about how wierd I thought it was that Squirt hadn’t been basking and was sleeping in the water for long periods of time. He’d swim around and was eating fine, so I didn’t think anything was really wrong. Poor little guy. I put him in a little box while I cleaned out the tank, rocks and filter, just in case anything in there made him sick. I wonder if whatever caused Shelly to die (Yadira’s other turtle) was what made Squirt die. And is it contageous??

I had to break it to the kids, so I straight out told them Squirt went to heaven. Eenan cried a little and it was so heartbreaking when Jaylen innocently, quietly said, “Wake up Qwoht, wake up.” They were okay after a while though, thank goodness.

Jackie and Daniel seem fine. They were even doing a little mating dance last night! I’ll be so upset if they die too .

John left with his friends at around 6pm. Mario got home that night and we watched Alone in the Dark, which he searched all over for and finally found at Best Buy. John called at 9pm and said he was going to another friend’s house and would be a late. I was glad he called and figured he’d be home at 11-11:30, the latest. We were super tired, probably from not sleeping much the night before, so we went to bed after the movie was over. Which was around 11:45. Mario and I were to rendevous later on, but Eenan was freaked out because of the movie (he insisted on staying up with us) and wouldn’t let us close the door, so we scratched the idea and fell asleep.

When we were laying there Mario asks, “Does John have a key?”.

“No. I didn’t think he was going to be out this late. He should get here any time now.” *snore*

At around 12:10am I hear a knock on the door. I figure it’s John, so I open it and peek my head out. Nobody’s there. I close it, then open it again and nothing. I hiss out, “Psssssssst!”, just in case, but again, nothing. So I go back to sleep.

At 2:20am I hear something at the door again. I get up, open the door and again, nobody’s there. I peek over to Mary’s house and notice the light’s on and Big Mario passes by the door. Wierd. I shut the door and begin to get really annoyed because surely the waking up/going back to sleep is going to make me feel really tired in the morning. I hear something, so I open the door and Noelia’s there. She said John’s been waiting to get inside. Dork. He’d supposedly been “knocking loudly” all night, yet I didn’t hear anything but those two knocks. I’m a very light sleeper, so I, well, I didn’t really believe he’d been knocking as loudly as he claimed. He later said he didn’t want to wake Mario and have him kick his ass. Okay, I’ll stop. I’m laughing out loud and he’s right behind me saying, “Quit laughing at my misfourtunes”. Oh! Oh my gosh! I can’t breaf! *holds side* You can read about his experience here .

We had two kiddie parties to go to the next day. One was for Jennifer’s baby, Seth, and the other was for one of Mario’s cousin’s little boys. Even after the tiring night he had, John decided to go with us. It was cool. The first one, Seth’s, was at Peter Piper Pizza. The boys had fun. We stayed there a while and then left to the other party, which was being held at The Zone (formerly Mountasia) and was already in progress. We didn’t eat since we got there late (and had just eaten at the other one). The kids got to hit the piñata, got candy bags and then played on the games. They had so much fun, but since we’d been in town all day they were getting tired and fussy. We came home, rested a bit and then went to Wal-Mart (where I returned my two cute skirts because I didn’t like how they fit *sigh*), and then grocery shopping at H-E-B. We got home, Mario made us sub sandwiches and then we watched Are We There Yet?. John kept talking about how he wished we’d stayed up that late the night before LOL.

At around 2am I wake up to what sounded like rocks being thrown at the window. It had been thundering before we went to bed and sure enough, it was a full-blown thunderstorm with golf-ball sized hail. It sounded horrible. The kids, who are terrified of thunder, slept right through it. But not John and I. We got up and just stared out the door. He says, “First snow. Now golf-ball-sized hail. It’s the Appocalypse!”

Our car was out there and the alarm was going crazy so Big Mario moved it under the carport as much as he could. After staring a bit more I came back to bed. I. COULD. NOT. SLEEP. I woke up with every thunder, every hail that hit, and then woke up again at 4am to an Earth-cracking thunder and then about 30 minutes later to another huge boom. Another sleepless night indeed.

Today, my plans are to clean this hell-hole place. I hardly did any cleaning last week and boy has it accumulated . I did it to myself. The boys are going to swimming classes for the next week and they start tonight. Already got their little trunks out. Must take camera .

Bah. I guess I’ll start cleaning now…

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Let me start by saying that Bush is a damn idiot. How the hell do you go off planning to spend all these millions of dollars on illegal immigrants’ hospital bills when you don’t even HELP THE PEOPLE WHO ARE ACTUAL CITIZENS OF THIS COUNTRY!! This country is going to shit. And fast.

I also can’t believe the little girls that were murdered in Illinois, may have been murdered by one of the little girls’ own father. How could someone do that to their own flesh and blood, their baby? It’s just so horrible. They were only 8 & 9 years old . Hence the reason I won’t let Eenan go on playdates yet–he’s already begged and begged. You just never know these days and that saddens me.

*composes self* Anyway, hope all the Moms out there had a wonderful Mother’s Day. I didn’t get a chance to finish visiting all my mom friends on the ‘net and personally wishing them a Happy Mother’s Day, and I feel very guilty for it, but I do hope their day was grand .

We started the day by all getting together at Mary’s and exchanging presents and having breakfast. Mario made me some eggs and bacon and handed me my plate and gave me a kiss. Everyone “Awww’d”. Later he tells me he was making himself breakfast, but after Annie said to Cata, “Aww, see Babe, [Mario’s nickname here]’s making Yajaira breakfast!”, so he gave me the plate. I said, “You know, I could have gone the day without knowing that,” and glared at him. Then he said he was kidding. I’m still trying to figure out if he WAS kidding or not .

This year, I got beautiful hand/homemade gifts (the best kind!). Mary and Noelia printed pictures of the boys and put them in the center of a plate. They helped the boys paint little hearts and stars around the plate with gold paint–they turned out so nice! Mary gave me a little angel salt-shaker, which she made herself, that had cherries on it to match my kitchen theme. She gave Annie one with sunflowers and Yadira one with cows . She also gave me a frame with a picture of the boys and a poem called, “Walk With Us Mommy”. I couldn’t even finish reading it that day because I was still PMS’ing and immediately began to get teary eyed LOL.

The boys gave Mary her gift, which was a jewelry box with a picture of them in the frame on the lid. I’d painted it white and the boys painted little stars and hearts and then we glued them on the box. She loved it. They made one for Mom, too. Mario and I gave her her gift, which was some DVD’s that she’d picked out herself LOL.

After breakfast, we drove over to the cemetary to visit and leave flowers for Mario’s Grandma, Great-Grandma and visited with Mario’s sister for a little bit, too. I’m not sure if I’ve ever mentioned it in the years I’ve been blogging, but Mario had an older sister (about 3 years older than Noelia) who passed away when she was only 3 days old due to being born with only 2 heart chambers .

We came back and chilled out for a while and then left to the movies. Mario’d been trying to convince me to watch that dreaded Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. I’d watch it on DVD, but I wouldn’t spend almost $8 to suffer watch it at the movies. We compromised and watched Kingdom of Heaven instead. I can’t say I was thrilled about it .

We went to eat at the House of China on North 10th in McAllen. I so love the one on South 10th…this one didn’t have the crab thingys covered in the fried…thing? I forget what they’re called at the moment, heh.

It was nice though. The boys behaved for the most part and Yadira and I shared our labor stories with everyone LOL. We ended up helping Mary pay for the bill and now we are b-r-o-k-e. Thank goodness Mario gets paid this weekend!

After lunch, we went to visit Gramma at the nursing home and took her our gift. We stayed and talked for a while and then we left to visit Mom. I gave her and Aunt Nora their gifts, which they loved . I talked with Mom for a while and talked to John who’d been laying in bed practically the whole day. I told him to come with us, so he could drive a bit and of course he refused. I don’t know how he can complain about not having a license when he won’t even make the effort to learn or take the car out for a spin on his own. Hell, that’s the only way I started driving. I got a few lessons here and there from Mary and Mario and then I was on my own. Had I not started driving Eenan around on my own and taking the initiative to get over my fear, I still wouldn’t be driving.

We came home and Mario was tired so he was going to take a nap. I laid down with him to cuddle for a little bit and ended up falling asleep for about 45 minutes . I really need to start going to sleep earlier. I went to Mary’s and joined everyone after I woke up and started on a scrapbook embellishment: popcorn! I had little carnival theme embellishments (Sandylion brand) and it was missing a box of popcorn so I thought I’d make one. It turned out really cute. I want to make some candy apple ones but I’m not sure how to go about it. I have these clear sheets of plastic–the ones the stickers come on–and I’m thinking of putting those on some red apple-shaped cardstock to make it look “glazed” and adding a little stick. Hmm…

I scared Mario last night. I wish I had the camera with me to capture his expression–it was priceless! I was washing dishes in the kitchen and he comes up behind me, playfully smacks me on the butt and then gives me a kiss. I step away from him while holding his hands and tell him, very seriously, “I need to tell you something.”

He gets this OMG look on his face, kind of smiling, kind of freaked out, kind of about to PASS OUT and he says, “WHAT?”

“You know how your mom accidentally got me the wrong pack of birth control pills?”

At that point I didn’t know if he was going to cry or scream…or both. I start laughing uncontrollably and say, “No, you weirdo, I’m not pregnant! I’m just saying, she got me the wrong ones. I can’t take these because I’m supposed to take them the first day I “start” and well, I’m about to finish so I can’t take them. I’m afraid I’ll become incredibly naseous or that they’ll ruin my cycle. I’m telling you this because I “want some” after I’m done with this thing so you need to buy condoms.”

He look so relieved and then whined, “Condoms, hell no.”

I rolled my eyes. Though it would be weird going back to condoms after all these years, I don’t think he wants me to utter the words, “I need to tell you something” for at least 3 more years LOL.

Which brings me to the talk we had Saturday night. We decided we’d live here for at least 2 more years. We’re in no hurry to buy a house, though it would be nice–really nice. This lil’ apartment was built just for us, so we decided not to take it for granted, save, I’m going to go to school and then hopefully get a job after Jaylen starts school next year, and then we can buy a house. We could go and apply for a loan right now, but we could only get a small house. Once I start working (hopefully) we can get a bigger loan which means bigger house, which is what we both want. 4 bedrooms–no less, two living rooms, big kitchen, etc. We’ll have either red brick with white trim or cream colored brick. Yup, I’ve got it all planned out LOL.

I forgot to mention. A few days ago I uploaded my Lil’ Mama Clique index to this site. What a mess that was. If it weren’t for Jessica I never would have noticed! Well, not until I updated LOL. Thanks, Jessica :).

Well, I guess this’ll be all. I should get all this laundry hung up and folded. Then I have to clean the bathroom. Fun, fun . THEN, I’ll hopefully get a chance to upload my simple little scrapbooking pages to show y’all.

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…why I was so damn stressed and emotional yesterday. It’s THAT TIME OF THE MONTH. My P.M.S. was on overdrive and that’s the reason I was taking everything to heart. I started feeling better towards the end of the day–around 8pm–when I started making dinner. Yadira, Tommy and the girls got here, Mario got here and Noelia was here, too. Yadira helped me with the enchiladas and we all just talked and had a good time. Everyone else got here around an hour later and we sat down to eat. Everyone loved the enchiladas, thank goodness. I would have died if someone didn’t like them…I’m very sensitive when it comes to my cooking . They passed around my scrapbook–which has a whole 4 pages–and everyone complimented my layouts. I made 3 (2 pages of Eenan’s graduation and 1 of our trip to Disneyworld) yesterday. I hand-made a little graduation cap and rolled-up diploma for one of Eenan’s pages. I covered the cap in fabric and made a little tassel for it and everything. I’m quite proud of it *beams*.

We sat around the table after dinner and shared ghost stories (we may have a ghost…or SOMETHING…in our house–no, really) and I forget how we got into the conversation but Annie told Mary, “That’s why you said she’s a good daughter-in-law”. I turned to her (she was sitting right next to me) and said, “Aww…you did?” And she said yes. I give her a half-hug and say, “I think you’re a good mom-in-law, too”, and then I get a lump in my throat and get all teary eyed. Annie and Yadira then get teary eyed and by then tears are streaming down my face and Mary’s teary eyed too. She hugs me and says, “Yes, she’s like a daughter to me”, which made me cry even more. Annie says, “I think that’s so cute…you don’t see that a lot. Usually the wife and mother hate eachother!” Tommy was sitting at the table too and quietly gets up and says, “I think I need a cigarette”, and excuses himself from the table, which I thought was hilarious because he doesn’t smoke. We all started laughing. He got a litle emotional too .

So yes, I had a very emotional day yesterday LOL. Thanks for your comments Vic, Jessica, Bex, and Diana. I’ll return your comments, soon I hope. I’ve been so caught up with scrapbooking that I haven’t even surfed the net very much lately.

Today was National Scrapbooking Day. I went with Mary, Jorge and Bonnie, Noelia and the boys to Wal-Mart. Noelia and I went straight to the scrapbooking section and just oogled at all the stuff. I found some cute 3-D Blue’s Clues stickers that I’m dying to use for a page on Eenan’s 2nd birthday party. I don’t think I have any of Jaylen’s 1st or Eenan’s 3rd and 4th birthdays since we had that damn harddrive crash and I lost 3 years worth of pictures. I still haven’t gotten over that . I’m hoping I have some on actual film. I have a huge ziploc of film I need to get developed. I wanted to start scrapbooking while everyone was at Isaac’s Confirmation, but they borrowed my camera and have no way of printing out my pictures without it .

Mario *says* we’re going to Jorge’s, though it’s 10 and he still hasn’t called for us to go over, so I’m going to get ready just in case. I’m really tired though.

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