Category: Funny

John had a dentist appointment yesterday, so I took him. The boys were actually very well behaved while we waited. An hour later, John comes out and looks half-embarrassed, half-about-to-crack-up. When we get to the car, I ask him, “WHAT?”

Basically, he said the dentist took one look at his teeth and muttered, under his breath, “Oh shit.” He said the nurse that was assisting the dentist looked into his mouth, turned away and gagged a little. I told him he should be ashamed of himself and should brush his teeth more often .

I wanted to complain write about shows such as Supernanny and Nanny 911 last night, but my freaking cable kept going out. I LOVE to watch those shows–mainly because the kids are so wild, destructive and rude that it makes my two little devils look like complete angels –and who couldn’t use a few tips on better parenting? Mario and I record it on DVR every chance we get. What I don’t like about it is how some parents (who obviously applied to be on the show themselves) are rude to the nanny and become offended when she’s talking to them about what’s causing the problem and what they should do to remedy the problem. Hello people, YOU wanted her to come into your house and help you out because obviously, what you’re doing isn’t working. I’ve highly considered applying for one of the shows myself, because OHMYGOSH I could go insane sometimes due to the boys’ tantrums. But I’m afraid they’ll see all the toys and all MY shelves of stuffed animals and call Clean Sweep on me or something .

I gotta check the Sentra in a few minutes. We have not one, but two darn flat tires. I need to check that it’s not completely flat and put air in the tire at Aziz, then take it to Mario’s uncle’s shop and pray that they can fix them. If not, new tires for us and who knows when that’ll happen since Mario doesn’t have much time off due to a busy weekend at work.

Going to try and visit a few of my dailies then I need to study, study, study. If all goes well, I take my written and driving tests next week . I can taste the freedom!

Two funny convos from yesterday:

Convo 1:
Me: Babe, do you want these? They’re your old berets. If not, I’m putting them in with the garage sale stuff.
Mario: Mmm. Nah.
Me: Here John. Want them? So you can look like a pimp.
John: *reaches his hand out to grab the bag*
Mario: *thinks maybe he should keep them, so he can look like a pimp* Wait. Give here!

Convo 2:
John and I were talking about cops stopping us and what they’d say if they did. After a few:
Me: *pretending to be cop* Do you know why I’m stopping you today Ma’am?
Me: *being me* No, sir.
Me: *pretending to be cop* Because you’re so damn fine.
John: *after laughing his butt off* Please don’t ever say that again.

Buahahaha. Okay. I should visit dailies/clean/study my driving book…in that order.

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I’m so bad at updating sometimes. I get so lazy and have no desire to be online. Which can be good, I guess, but then I get pissed at myself because I have so much to write about and I just *have* to write about everything don’tcha know? Anyway…

Mario worked Thursday and got Friday off instead. We spent a day in town. I felt awful that I had no $$ to get Mario a gift for Father’s Day . We went to JCPenny to get his dad some gifts from us and Mom and he got himself some shorts and a shirt, which he said was the Father’s Day gift from me, but it’s NOT. That’s one of the reasons I’m in a hurry to go to school and get a job–so I can buy him stuff myself. That’s what I loved about working…it was so nice having money and buying him stuff whenever I wanted. It was nice surprising him and not having to ask for money when a holiday or special occassion comes around and I want to get him a gift .

I got a cute, teal blouse when we were there. I wore it the next day when Mary, Noelia and I went to Noelia’s friend, Vinny’s, baby shower. She’s having a boy and just looks so cute all pregnant . It seemed like almost every woman there was pregnant or had a newborn in her arms. My biological clock sensed that and automatically screamed, “You must have a baby soooon!” Even Mary told me, “Andale, Yajaira!” (C’mon, Yajaira!) and then later Vinny’s aunt said it, too. But I need to keep pressing “snooze” on that darn clock and make myself wait till I get my license, go to school, get a job and then get our house. Once we get our house, then and only then will we try.

I felt a little uncomfortable in my clothes since I hadn’t worn a skirt in forever. I was also afraid the tire around my waist was going to pop out when I sat down . It boosted my confidence when a girl Mary was talking to said, “She doesn’t look like she has kids!?”, when Mary brought up that I was her daughter-in-law and that she had two grandsons. I needed to hear that LOL. That’s another thing, before I even think of having another kid I need to get in shape. The last thing I need is to get pregnant and gain even MORE weight and have a harder time losing it. Ugh, I don’t even want to think about that LOL.

Father’s Day was alright. The kids made a little trinket-box-type thing and a key rack for Mario and Big Mario. It was Mary’s idea . The kids painted them and they looked really cute. I cleaned up that morning and then later we went to Yadira’s where we were going to have lunch. Mary made everything, as usual. I felt horrible later that afternoon because she felt bad. She’d done so much for everyone, cooked all the food on her own, and a few people were a bit unappreciative .

That morning we thought Daniel (the turtle) had become a father LOL. I thought, ‘How appropriate; on Father’s Day!’. We found these little white balls that were in clusters in the water and we automatically thought they were eggs. I got some info online and could find NO pictures of Red-eared slider eggs so I followed the incubation instructions and incubated them. Later, I did find some info and pictures on the eggs and realized they were too small to be eggs. I think I may have been incubating semen .

Since we have the 20 gallon tank now and are still turtle-sitting Sammy and Brandon’s turtles, Jackie and Daniel couldn’t bask properly. The big turtles kept knocking them off or, more annoyingly, shifting all the stacked up lava rocks and spreading them across the tank. Mario got some plexi glass and glued it to the tank to make a sort of ‘dam’. We filled up the seperated part with rocks (I even found some really pretty ones at Family Dollar!) and then put lava rocks on top for them to bask. I went to Big Mario’s stash of bricks and rocks and found even more lava rocks–heavier and hello, they were FREE! We spent $10 for a bag of lava rocks at Pet Smart, and they’re really light so the turtles can easily push them. After boiling all the rocks and stones, I stacked them up like stairs so the turtles could get to the dam easily.

It took them a while to get used to it, especially Jackie. She kept biting at the rocks LOL.

Went to visit Mom last night with John and the boys. Didn’t go as expected. There was arguing–as usual. Will probably vent about it privately later on. Gah.

I should get back to cleaning. I’m getting junk together to have yet another garage sale. I REALLY need to go through my drawers and closets and I’m dreading that . I also need to get more info online about the schools I’m thinking of going to. I think I already know where I want to go. John may go to the same one and we can go together. We’re either going July 25 or September 6. I really hope everything goes as planned. I’m becoming impatient–it feels as though I’ve put life on hold. Truth of the matter is, I couldn’t fathom anyone else raising my kids, which is WHY I actually HAVE put life on hold. But it’s time to get it back on track again. I KNOW I can do this.

[edit] 3:08pm. I can’t find my diploma ANYWHERE!!! I was about to cry and hyperventilate earlier. I don’t know what happened to it. I had it on the very top shelf with my Salutatorian plaque and all the school info and my scholarship (gotta call and check if that’s still good) and it’s not there . I was frantically looking for it and John says, “Aww, bless your little determined heart.” Grr. . I need to call the school like, 5 minutes ago, and ask if I can get a new one. I can’t believe it’s lost!! [/edit]

[edit again] 3:48pm. Just called my old school. I can either get a copy for free or a new one for $8 and I’m probably going to just get the new one. I hope they have a new style for it, too. The old one looked FAKE…it had a pinkish little owl printed on it (which was our mascot–don’t laugh!). I remember I took it with me for a job I was after a few years ago and the lady looked at me like, “You’re kidding, right?” when I presented the diploma LOL. The lady said she’d look me up and see if she can find my file. That scares me a little…”if” she can find it?? Anyway, hopefully all will be well. I also called to the College itself and got the info for admissions and financial aide. I feel so nervous. I have so much to do in the next few weeks: get my license, replace my diploma, set up an appointment with the school for both John and I to check if we qualify for financial aide, not go insane!! I’ve been out of school for way too long; this seems so overwhelming!! [/edit]

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I hadn’t looked out the windows when I woke up, which was at 8:10am, but while I was making breakfast, which was at 9am, I noticed it was eerily dark out. Sure enough, thunder started rolling and rain started pouring down. Shortly after, the darn electricity went out, but only for a few seconds. Still, it was enough to knock the satellite out and the kids were terrified and bored (that is why I didn’t want Dish Network!). I put a DVD on for them (The Land Before Time, Invasion of the Tinysauruses) and I sat there, eating breakfast, bored. So, I turned the computer on and crossed my fingers that the power wouldn’t go out again. I hope it’s over now and I hope Mario got to work safely, too.

The boys’ lessons went well last night, for the most part. Eenan’s doing wonderfully; he can float on his back, is learning to kick while holding on to the wall, and is learning to pass himself around the pool–even the deep sides–so he can gain strength on his arms. Jaylen, on the other hand, was driving his coaches crazy LOL. The same coach that taught him on Monday, Jorge, was teaching him last night. Michael, Mario’s friend, wanted Jorge to teach both Eenan and Jaylen, since Eenan’s coach had another class with about 4 older kids. Jaylen wasn’t having it though. Jorge was teaching them to grip the wall and kick, and Jaylen wanted to be out “swimming” on the deep side and kept trying to get away. He refused to blow bubbles and kick, so Michael ended up taking Jaylen instead, and worked with him a little. Hopefully today will be a better day though. They’re sleeping very well at night since they’re so tired from all the swimming LOL.

I made hotdogs last night, since Mario had said he wanted some the night before. I’m not too fond of hotdogs, but had actually been craving one, so I had one. I don’t know if it was the hotdog or the sun that did it to me but I ended up getting really nauseous and then got a migraine. I felt horrible. I still had to wash dishes before I went to bed, so I recruited John to help me rinse. He complained the whole first half of the time we were washing dishes, then started making jokes. I kept laughing, which made my head pound even more, which made me get into a bad mood. Then, he did one of the things that bugs me to no end–he splashed water on my face. Something in me snapped. I gasp, turn to him and lay a smack on his face–soapy water and all. I kind of stood there with my mouth open like, “What the hell am I doing??”, and seeing the shocked expression on his soap-suddy face made me crack up laughing. It was kind of like when a Pimp smacks his “hos” with a baby-powder-smothered hand? Yeah, like that . He said I smacked him so fast he didn’t have a chance to react. We both laughed the whole time after that, and he kept saying, “Don’t Hulk out one me” LOL.

Later, when we were done with the dishes he asks, “Have you ever just smacked Mario like that for splashing water in your face?” I reply, “Yeah, but on the arm. He knows I hate that and does it anyway. But I’ve never smacked him on the face!!” We’ll be talking about this for weeks to come LOL.

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