Category: Sadness

Bad Things, Good Things

Mario called last night before he got out of work and in a rush said, “I’m gonna be a little late. There’s an emergency meeting. You’re not even going to believe what I tell you. There are two things. The second one’s going to blow your mind. I’ll call you after the meeting.”

20-30 minutes later, he calls.

“Well, what happened?” I say, my heart beating a hundred miles a minute. By the tone of his voice I knew it was something shocking.

He replies, “Two guys got fired. One was Joe.”

I gasp. He’s one of the best speaker box makers, ever. I didn’t understand.

“Who was the second?” It felt like I had a weight in my chest. The same feeling I had when he told me he’d lost his job at the hospital in April of 2004. I closed my eyes, crossed my fingers and silently prayed that it wasn’t him.


My eyes about popped out of my head.

“WHAT?! How? What happened??”

He explains to me what happened, which I won’t mention here since it’s about work and all, but it was something that could have easily been avoided. I still can’t believe it. When Mario got home from work, he ate dinner, we spoke more about it and he got dressed and went to visit Jorge. I don’t know what they talked about since I was in bed when Mario got home, but I just feel so bad for them. I can only imagine what Maggie’s feeling right now. They have a house to pay for!

Their situation opened my eyes and reminded me that not everything in life is certain, most definitely not your job. This we know from experience since Mario’s been laid off twice from good jobs. It scares me to think that one day, if we ever buy a house and a new car, that we may not have a job to pay our bills with for whatever reason. Granted, Jorge did this to himself, but still. When Mario was “laid off”, it was due to budget cuts and stupid things like that. I just hope they’ll be okay. I really don’t know what they’re going to do.

As for Eenan, we had another tough morning. I thought for sure he’d be okay, but then we walked down the hallway and realized he was the only kid from his class there. He didn’t want to wait alone, so I waited with him. I talked to him and he got a little sad, but Angela and her two friends showed up and they sat with him (angels, they are). When I was walking away, I realized I hadn’t told him I loved him, so I went back. He tells me he loves me and then Vianca tells me he cries when the teacher gets mad at him. We’d spoken about the boy, Joshua, who had spun him around and dropped him, and he told me he hasn’t bothered him since. So, the only thing I can think of that makes him dislike school is his teacher . I don’t want him to be miserable all year. I’ll talk to him again today and if it is his teacher that he’s not comfortable with, I’ll see about getting him switched to another class. We’ll see.

School was good today though. We arrived a few minutes late since Ricci wanted breakfast from Whataburger. We’re learning to use Excel now and the lesson was kind of confusing, but we eventually figured it out. We use lots of numbers with Excel…kind of makes me nervous LOL. I have every intention of coming home after I pick Eenan up (I have to leave in 20 minutes) and making a list of our budget to use as a monthly template. It’s so nifty .

The girls (Mayra, Ricci, Lucy) want to have lunch together again sometime this week, maybe Thursday. We just need to figure out where to go.

We got out of school at 11am since two girls are taking the Microsoft Certification exam. I stopped by to see Mario and drop off his PDA charger and we chatted for a bit. God I love that man. I wish we could spend more time together *sigh*.

We left Mario’s and went to see Gramma at the nursing home. She told me how she was worried because we hadn’t gone to see her. I explained about how I didn’t have the car on the weekends (Mario takes it to work instead of borrowing Jose’s gas-guzzling truck) and how Mom’s had appointments so she hasn’t been able to visit on her days off. During one of our quiet moments, she grabs my hand and lights up, suddenly remembering something.

Mija! One of your friends works here! She’s a nurse. Go, go find her and talk to her. Go!”

I was a bit shocked and say, “I told you I knew your nurse! We went to middle school together. I don’t know where to look for her though, Gramma.”

Just as I said that, Letty, pushing Gramma’s roommate in her wheelchair, walks in.

We caught up on a few things; the typical What’s Been Going On In Your Life Chat. We also talked about Cassandra Niño, a girl we went to middle school with (Letty’d known her her whole life), who died in a car accident brought on by a drunk driver. She was 23 and was about to finish school to become an RN. It’s so sad. I was surprised by how affected I was by this, since Cassandra and I weren’t exactly close friends, when I found out about it. She was so young .

We chit-chatted more and checked off who we’d seen that we went to school with. She saw Jessica working at a pawn shop, and I quickly asked which one, so that I could go stalk her and ask her why on Earth she hasn’t contacted me yet. She’s also seen Dayse, who I haven’t spoken to since the summer of 9th grade, and she saw Angie, who was very pregnant and still working at one of the Wal-Mart’s as a manager.

I gave her my e-mail address. Hopefully, we can keep in touch.

I took the practice test on the Microsoft 2002 Core Exam and got a 92. The exam we’re taking is the 2003 edition, so it’s a tad bit different but Mrs. C-R said it’s basically the same thing. I’m going to try the Practice Expert Exam, which is what we’re going to be taking (Microsoft Office 2003 Expert exam). I got to question 46 after I finished my work at school and man it’s confusing. The way they word the questions is just so puzzling. I wonder if the two girls who are taking the exam will pass. If they can pass, I think I can pass.

My, how I’ve babbled on. I actually don’t have to do anything today, and that is wonderful. I still need to go to the store to get Gramma some baby powder and room spray (per her request), but I’ll do that tomorrow and take it to her on Friday. I should get to visiting some dailies/answering e-mails, vacuuming, washing towels and then hopefully, reading Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. The movie, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, comes out in November and I want to read both books before it starts showing. I think I can do it. I read about 2-3 chapters just while I’m waiting in line to pick Eenan up from school.

Mmm. Some ice cream with marshmallows sounds divine while I surf .


Need Some Change

I just realized I desperately need a new layout. Although I love this one, autumn’s definetly on it’s way, and I need a more “fall” layout. Not that we south Texans actually know what an actual ‘autumn’ is .

The only problem is, I have no inspiration whatsoever. I want more earthy tones, I know that, but I’m not sure what I want the concept of the layout to be. We’ll see.

I’d also love to switch to WordPress soon, but I’m still scared of messing up my skins and heaven knows I don’t have enough time to sit down and actually work on anything online these days. That really sucks. No matter how “early” I get everything done that I need to get done, I never have time to work on my site or anything. I never thought I’d say it, but sometimes I miss planting my big butt for hours in front of the computer .

I hope Eenan’s doing ok. I’m still having trouble with him in the mornings. He’ll get up just fine at home, it’s him actually wanting to stay there when I drop him off that’s the problem.

When I dropped him off this morning, he ran after me when I was about to reach the car, which was across the parking lot. He had tears in his eyes and he kept squealing, “Stay with me!”. Broke my heart to bits to see him that way. My mind keeps wandering off, thinking about him and wondering if he’s ok. Angela arrived right when I walked him back to the hallway, thank goodness. She and her friend told me maybe he didn’t like being at school since there was a boy who swung him from his jacket a few days ago. They said they told the teacher and he hasn’t done it since, but I can see how that would discourage Eenan from liking school. It angers me and just makes me feel so bad that someone did that to him. I need to sit him down and talk to him about the situation. I knew there had to be a reason why he didn’t want to be at school. .

Almost time to go home. Gotta stop by and visit Mario real quick at work since he forgot something. Then I can go home. Romeo lent me a prep CD for our Microsoft Certification Exam–hopefully I’ll get some time to download it and study a bit. It’s cool because it gives you the right/wrong answer automatically.


Strange Feelings

Please, please everyone, take some time to pray for Becca and her new baby daughter, Addie. I can’t even begin to imagine what she and her family must be going through right now. My thoughts and prayers are with them. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about them all day .

I’ve had this strange feeling of…guilt? concern? I’m really not sure what, but I’ve been feeling weird all day. I’ve felt a bit lethargic the past few days and I don’t even know why. I don’t feel sick. I didn’t even go to Annie’s sister’s wedding because I’ve just felt drained of all my energy (Mario says sleeping only 6 hours a night is quickly catching up with me). It didn’t help that the boys have just been in foul moods today either. They’re a bit better now, but goodness they won’t stop fighting!

I also spoke to Mom and she sounded so sad. Her situation would be so much easier if she would just speak up for herself. She needs to understand that I can’t do everything for her all the time, as much as I’d like to. I just hope everything falls into place for her, for us. I don’t know.

I had a dream that I was pregnant last night. There could be a few reasons I had that dream:

1) I was thinking of Yadira (who I don’t think I’ve mentioned is PREGNANT!! FINALLY!! I’m so happy for them !).
2) I was thinking of Becca and wondering if she’d had Addie yet.
3) Brushka is pregnant, and we’d been feeling her baby(ies?) move.
4) I’ve run out of birth control pills and don’t know when I’ll be going back to Mexico for some *bites nails*.

In the dream John had his hand on my HUGE belly and was trying to feel for a kick. Everytime he moved his hand, she’d kick. When he’d put it back, she’d stop. It was weird because some people were saying “he” yet I knew that it was a “she”. When I woke up, I had that same feeling I did when I found out I was pregnant with Eenan. There’s no possible way I can be pregnant right now though, because it’s uh, that time of the month . I wonder what it means?

I finally got my own cell phone and we got it for free! Mario added my number to his account and they gave us the phone + 1 month of free internet. I’ve been going crazy dowloading ring tones thanks to Joe and Jennifer, who are friends from school. I also got a program, Pix2Fone where we can make our own wallpapers. I made one with a picture of the kids, which pops up whenever a call from the house is made. I love it. It only allows JPG format for now, but it’s cool anyway.

Mario just bought a Samsung PDA off of Jorge, which he was going to trade with me for my Samsung V1660, but I think I’ll just keep my phone. The PDA looks too…big? I wonder when we’re gonna get our Blackberry from school? We’re supposed to get it after our first grading period, which we already had.

Blah. I feel like I’m getting a darn cough. Mario’s finally home so I’m gonna be lazy on the couch with him. I fall asleep so quickly on the couch, wrapped in his arms .

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.