Category: Sadness

Today was one of those typical Mondays: rushing around in the morning to get out and get to work on time, Monday morning meeting, and catching up with weekend gossip. Of course that meant retelling the story of the Ghetto Cat Fight to my nearest and dearest. Sent out email invites for my upcoming event (upcoming as in November; have to prepare months ahead) and by the time we knew it, it was lunch time.

My stomach was feeling weird; I didn’t even have an appetite in the morning and I felt simultaneously queasy and hungry, but I got to meet up with my babe which always makes my day better :). On the drive to Subway we talked about some things. I moped because some things weren’t what I wanted to hear and we somehow ended up in an argument. An argument that made me lose the little appetite I had and caused him to lose it, too. It was just a horrible situation. We gathered our things as the waterworks started (and a lightbulb just went off RIGHTNOW. It’s the week before Mother Nature makes her visit. Now my moods make sense!).

I was so upset I couldn’t make myself go back to work. Not to mention my stomach felt even worse. My hours are still being cut this week at work and I’d asked my boss if I could just take Friday off (which I was taking off anyway because it’s the start of my vacation) and use those hours during that day instead of leaving early/coming in late. But I used 4 of those hours today. I came home and tried to just sleep off my mood and my tummy ache. My babe began texting me and we talked about what happened and then he called and we talked some more until we cleared everything up. I’m so glad. I hate fighting, arguing. We agreed since the beginning that we wouldn’t turn into THAT COUPLE.

Once we made up and were fine, I passed out completely till 5:20 when my babe called that he was on his way home. I was thrilled. It was the perfect day for him to get home early. We snacked on our leftover Subway and then I started actual dinner since the girls and Mom hadn’t eaten. We ate a little bit of that, too (my stomach was still bothering me but I’m fine now, thank GOD) and then we sat in the garage enjoying the surprisingly not-boiling evening while we waited for Mario to drop off the kids. Of course he wouldn’t remind the boys to bring their things (they were even barefoot) so they visited for a while and then they left with him and the girls stayed with us. They watched movies with Mom and had popcorn and shakes and we’ve been in the living room watching TV (I just remembered I have more laundry to do!) and just having a really low-key, normal night. All is right again and I’m so glad!

Mary’d kept Alaethia overnight, so we had a pretty easy night only concentrating on Emily. Mario, bless him, woke up at least twice during the night to help me with Emily. I got up when the alarm went off for Mario to get ready for work and made him some breakfast; eggs over easy and toast…with Emily in my arms the whole time. I still couldn’t walk too well; the darn incision hurt like hell and of course I couldn’t bend so it took, like, 5 whole minutes to slowly reach down and grab the pan handle from the oven drawer while holding Emily in my other arm. Mario ate, then left to work.

I was up since 8am and I didn’t end up eating breakfast till 10:40. All my kids have always cried or gotten hungry when I’m about to eat, and Emily was no different. That’s how they kept Mama skinny LOL. I had to pop her on my boob so she could breastfeed in order for me to eat breakfast. Mary had stayed home and had Alaethia with her (the boys were at school).

John took me to my appointment around 1pm. It was the first time he’s ever driven my Equinox. He was being kind of evil, relishing in the fact that I was in pain and couldn’t really hurt him from the back seat since it hurt to move. He kept threatening to go really fast over the bumps and dips and I threatened him right back, letting him know he’d be really sorry when I could run after him. As always, my dear brother can’t do anything for me out of the kindness of his heart, so I had to bribe him with tacos from El Pato. I got myself some lunch from there, too. I felt guilty and texted Mario–because we have perfectly good food I could cook at home—but he said no one would let me cook anyway and I deserved to treat myself. Aww :).

It was only the first full day at home and I was already starting to feel desperate; I couldn’t even wash dishes or anything without someone scolding me and shooing me back to the living room. I had to admit that I love my family. I don’t know what I would have done without Mom, Mary and Sonia (who picks the boys up from school for me every day till I can drive again).

I was really worried that I wasn’t making enough milk. Emily would feed for 1-2 hours straight and her tummy was still grumbling. I tried manually expressing to no avail. Thank goodness I still had some of those bottles they send you off with at the hospital. She was fine after she drank one. Mary, Yazmin and I went to H-E-B that night to get some formula and a few groceries we needed. They made me use one of those little electric carts LOL. I felt funny, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to walk through the store.

Jorge, Maggie, their boys, Adan, Aide and Belle came to visit that night. I couldn’t really move all that much and had to keep asking Mom to please heat up my Rice Sock for the pain in my abdomen and back and my chest was beginning to feel really full, but I enjoyed the company. Alaethia and Belle entertained each other with the toys in Alaethia’s room and Emily was just a gem, snuggled up on my chest for a while and then slept peacefully in her bassinet.

When it was finally night time and Alaethia, who still refuses to sleep in her room in her daybed, was with us, it was a challenge. She was up and about, ready to play at 12am. Then, when Emily woke up around 4am, Alaethia was awake and quite loud too. At least Emily was sleeping in her bassinet. She was asleep most of the day and slept till around 1am. I breastfed her from 11:40-1am, and she was still desperate for more food. I felt awful, and kind of useless really. You’d think these big ol’ things would make the total of an 8oz. bottle.

Then she woke up around 3am and was up till 5 or so. I had figured I was going to have to start learning the shows that are on at that time, like I did when Eenan was a newborn, but I turned the TV off after a while. I didn’t want her thinking it was ok to be up. Even though she had that weird gap of awakeness, she still let me sleep for 2-3 hours between feedings. Not that I could sleep very much anyway. I couldn’t sleep; I felt paranoid that she’d stop breathing or something scary like that. And then the pain! The pain made it so damn hard to get on the bed, and even harder to get comfortable to sleep.

We had such a tiring, crazy night after weaning Alaethia from her milk sippy that I slipped into sleep after the alarm went off and I woke Mario up late for work. And then she woke up early.

Mario left to work, rushing, poor thing and I made banana pancakes. Alaethia actually ate her pancake. And then she ate lunch, too. I washed dishes after breakfast and lunch (it’s so nice being able to keep up with the dishes now that I’m home). I cleaned up the kitchen table (that thing’s a magnet for crap) and then I got started on sewing the curtains. Man, they’re just valances and it took forever to do. That, or I’m just out of practice.

I took a break and went to my bedroom and started organizing my document drawers. I have TONS of documents to shred, it’s not even funny. I went to pick up the boys from school and went to the ATM to activate my new debit card, since I was supposed to do that since mid-January.

I went to Dollar General to get a few things, which ended up being a lot of things because that’s what happens when the boys go with me. We came home and they had snacks before starting homework.

I finished up the curtain and we visited with Mary a while. I started dinner, took it over to Mary’s, ate and came back. Mario was already sleeping. Oh well. He’s been such an old man lately, yet he’d get mad almost every night that I had to go to bed early because I had to wake up early to go to work the next day. I got online and began sending out invites to my baby shower. When I was just about to go to bed Mario woke up. He ate some of the dinner (meatloaf, broccoli and cheese) I’d made earlier. I was just sitting at the table with my laptop to start uploading pictures to Myspace and Flickr when he asked if I wanted to watch a movie. Alaethia was still awake, but sure, why not.

We watched The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. We got the ottoman ready with pickles, pepsi and popcorn just like at the movies. Alaethia fell asleep and we continued watching the movie.

SPOILER ALERT!!! SKIP THE NEXT PARAGRAPH IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE MOVIE!!!
I sort of figured how it would end, but when it actually got there and everything started panning out I couldn’t stop bawling. I just didn’t like the fact that he was an innocent baby when he eventually died. It was awful. I was literally watching between my fingers and Mario was laughing, but being kind about it, the whole ending. He reached over and squeezed my arm and said, “Babe, c’mon! You knew how it was going to end!” And I blabbered, “Yes, but it’s not fair that he’s a baby! A baby! I hate this movie!” Could have just been the hormones talking, but it was so sad. See, I’m getting teary-eyed just remembering.
SPOILER OVER!!!

Between having to pause the movie while Alaethia was awake and asking for stuff, my potty breaks and the movie being long itself, we went to bed at 2:45am. Oy. It was going to be hard waking up the again the next day.