Sue Me, I’m Human

It amazes me that after all these years dad’s infidelity to mom can still mess me up. This morning, on the way to school, Ricci and I were listening to Wild 104 and they actually announced the War of the Roses early for once.

War of the Roses is a show that people call and try to bust their spouse or significant others cheating. They call up the person (you provide the number of course) and the DJ tells the person they won a free dozen roses from RedRoses.com (fake site) and what person would they like to send it to and what do they want the card to say. Well, most of the time the person IS cheating and the person calling screams out and they get into a fight on the air. It’s usually shocking and very amusing. Well, this morning was different.

A 17 year old girl called and said she wanted to catch her dad cheating. She said she knew he was, but wanted to prove it to her mom because her mom didn’t want to believe it. Sure enough, her dad sends the roses to a woman at a club and says, “Thanks for those nights and making my day easier”, or something like that. The girl was crying and asking, “Why dad?! Why?? I thought we were a good family! How could you do this to us–to mom!?” He kept telling her, “You be quiet. I’ll talk to you at home. You’re going to get it.” (Everything he said was in Spanish, so it sounded even worse.) By the time we got to school, I was shaking and had a lump in my throat. We got off and I tried hiding my face since tears were uncontrollably falling out of my eyes. Ricci saw me and I tried to laugh it off, but she hugged me and told me it was okay, that I was a great person and it was a long time ago, and many other comforting things I can’t remember right now, so that made me cry even more. Took me a while to compose myself. Thank goodness nobody asked questions since I was sniffing and my nose was clearly red, or I surely would have broken down again for sure.

I hate that that happens. I hate that I can’t think of what happened, I mean REALLY think of what happened, and not cry about it. I wish it wouldn’t bother me so much, but it does. Most of my life I ignored it; what he did never really bothered me; I wrote him off as an asshole and was just glad he left. But in the long run, it really has affected me, and that sucks.

Anyway, we started another lesson today and studied for 30 mintues of our 3rd period for our test on chapters 1 and 2 of Access. I feel really good about it; I think I did well. I’ve been really hard on myself lately when I don’t get 100’s and I really need to quit doing that. Mario said I’m going crazy and my God, I think I am. I work myself up for nothing. I got flaming mad when I got a 97 on our group project (the one I was really proud of–the 80’s Antiques one) and a 98 on my hospital project. I got points taken away because my fields didn’t fit the info correctly–something that none of us had been taught before, nor was anything about it in the chapters we were studying and it all depended on which layout you chose for the Forms and Reports. I found it to be really unfair, but whatever. I’m trying not to think about it anymore…

Ricci and I sat with Mayra for a while after we took our test and then made our way to the car. When we get there, I open the door and I realize the power locks aren’t working. I look at the lights and sure enough, I’d left them on and my battery drained out. I’d been so upset in the morning I didn’t go back and check if I’d turned them off (which I usually have to do because most of the time I DO leave them on). Thankfully the security guard had jumper cables and jump-started the car for me. Another guy was out there keeping us company since we looked all helpless.

Mario’s currently suspended from work. It’s nothing bad on his part, somebody threw a fit and decided it was the right time to take it out on someone else and Mario just so happened to be there. It’s nice having him home–he actually swept, mopped, cleaned the bathroom and we cleaned out the car and he washed it. He’s making good points .

As for the weekend, all us girls went to eat at Pizza Hut on Friday after school, and then the whole family (even John!) went out to eat there for dinner. It was nice. We got to see ultrasound pics of Gecko, Tommy and Yadira’s baby .

Mary treated us all to watch The Corpse Bride on Saturday morning, which was a GREAT movie. The kids loved it. Jaylen stayed awake the whole time even though he was really sleepy and Eenan didn’t try to jump into the isle at all! They were both very well behaved that day. Ha, notice how I said that day LOL. Kidding, they’re getting much better at behaving in public .

I spent the rest of the day chilling out and reading. We went to Isaac and Isiah’s party on Sunday night (where we ate more pizza–I had to have gained 5 lbs. just this weekend!) I also ended up finishing Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, finally! Let’s see how long it takes me to read Book 5, which is even longer!

Man I have a headache and I’m out of Aleve . I still gotta take a shower and finish eating. I feel naseous .

Quote of the night: “I want to skadoo like Blue but I always end up tripping over my feet.” – John

on Thursday, September 29th, Vic said:

*sigh* I think writing our dads off was a defense mechanism for us at the time things were going on because we wouldn’t be able to handle/understand the severity of what happened. My dad didn’t cheat – I think you know most of the story. But yeah, as a kid/ teenager I had to just stay focused on myself and enjoying life, so I had to write him off. I think the kids who didn’t/don’t have a hard time. Now that I’m older I’ve had to deal with him, and I don’t know if that was any easier, but it made my child/teenhood easier.

on Wednesday, September 28th, Stephanie said:

I hate infidelity. It makes me sick to my stomach. I even hate watching it in movies, which ruines a lot of movies for me because it’s very prevelent! I hope you can forget about it.. or at least not think about it.

I LOVED the Corspe Bride, it was such a good movie!

I’m also a perfectionist with marks, sometimes it’s more annoying to get a 97 than an 80, because you know you were only 3 marks away form perfect, ESPECIALLY if it was impossible to get those other three marks. Don’t worry, you’re not going crazy, I do that too. Although it is probably better for your health not to worry about it. When I figure out how to do that, I’ll let you know 😉

on Wednesday, September 28th, Johanna said:

Aww,I am sorry that you feel that way. I hate the way our minds work, seriously! Sometimes there are people that leave your live, but they still affect you a lot. I wish we could just forget those painful memories!

on Wednesday, September 28th, Jessica said:

Hey girl. My computer crashed a few weeks ago to the point of no return and I was an idiot, having no backups of anything. So needless to say, I’ve just gotten back online and consequently have been ignoring my dailies. As far as this entry goes, I think I’ve missed something? Take care and I’ll ttyl.

on Tuesday, September 27th, Gonzo said:

One day you’ll be able to look back on those past events and accept them, it took me a while to accept my dads drug problems. It’ll happen, just wait.

I’m glad you’re doing so well in school, even though you’re such a little perfectionest. 😉

Seems like everything is going pretty well, very cool. Hope it stays that way.

By the way, I have another little baby cousin! Her name is Leah Danielle. 🙂

xxoo

on Tuesday, September 27th, orchid@gmail.com“>Rachel said:

I’m so sorry for that girl, her father sounds like a real jerk.

Those must be awful memories you have. 🙁 My father cheated on my mother once when I was about 3 (with a male), but then he got help and was a great spouse and parent…I remember finding out at about age 14 and I felt guilty I hadn’t been good enough reason for him to never do that…and I still can’t believe that the Dad I knew could have *ever* done that! I’m so sorry someone as sweet as you has to go through this…:(