Category: Sadness

Christmas Shopping Pt. 1

Thank you so much to my Qbee Secret Santas for the extremely adorable gifts! I LOVE all of them!!

Well we didn’t go to the wedding afterall. I was a bit disappointed because we haven’t really gone to any weddings or special occassions where you have to get “dressed up”, and I was really looking foward to wearing that darn dress!

I picked John up on Friday. Actually, he was halfway here by the time I picked him up. I didn’t want to go too early because I didn’t want to wait long, and then I went late. Oops! Aunt Nora had called me earlier during the day and told me I should have a talk with John. She said she was worried about him because Mom was worried about him and she didn’t want anything bad happening to either one of them. That meaning, she didn’t want Mom’s blood pressure or diabetes to go berzerk since she was constantly worrying, and she didn’t want John to “hurt” himself if he really was that depressed. Depression (bi-polarism, whatever) runs in our family (my Mom’s side) and Aunt Nora really does think John’s suffering from it. I was worried he was too…especially with everything changing for him so quickly (moving over there, etc.). I even heard Aunt Nora cry for the first time in the 22 years I’ve known her. Not just over Mom and John, but because my cousin is depressed too. My heart broke in half. I didn’t even know what to say. So that night, I kept wondering how I’d bring it up and eventually just came right out and asked him what was wrong the past week. He opened up a lot. I had a lump in my throat the whole time. I wish he didn’t feel the way he does. We talked about everything really…I even told him he needs to be nicer to Mom…he doesn’t talk to her the way she’d like him to. He needs to understand she may not always be here and we have to make the most of the time we all have together. I hope I got through to him, and I hope he’ll feel better. He wanted to stay with us starting from this weekend, but I told him Mom might freak out since he was already planning on staying with us the almost-3 weeks of vacation.

Saturday, we all packed into Mary’s van (Mary, Sonia, Yazmin, John, the boys and me) and prepared for the chaos that is Christmas shopping. I got a Christmas present each for the boys, Christmas cards, mini cupcake cups and mini cupcake pan, the wireless controller for PS2 we’re getting John, and stuff from the dollar section. OMG…I am so in love with all the dollar items they have! I got Choco Cat some catnip-filled mice toys and some balls with bells in them. She LOVES them, especially the mouse one. Catnip’s like…crack for kittens!

I also got the $2 gift for Eenan’s gift exchange and a few stocking stuffers for them. I’d LIVE at Target if I could .

We still need to go back and get the rest of the presents. I don’t even remember how (gotta check my receipts!), but I spent $100+ on the few things I bought. I will be getting about $6 back from a price adjustment I’ll be getting. The two things I bought for the boys went on sale today–just my luck . Mario gets paid on Christmas Eve, so that’s when we’ll be going back to get the presents. I cringe at the thought of traffic and people congestion on that day. Yesterday alone was pure madness…and some people are so rude!

Mario didn’t end up getting the day off today. Last night the boss asked him if he could go in, and of course Mario said yes because if the employees say they have something to do and can’t come in, the tells them, “Oh…then go ahead and take a few days off.” Scary. So yeah, Mario wasn’t too happy about it (because he’s had 1 day off in a month, almost). He was really upset when he got home and kinda got depressed. While I was washing dishes and he was sitting at the computer, idly surfing the net he says, “I’m sorry I’m never home.” I turn around, walk to him and say, “What?? It’s not like it’s your fault. I’m sorry I act like a pain because you’re not here. I know you have to work…and I’m sorry I can’t take some of the burden and help you with the bills.” He says, “It’s my job to take care of you guys.” As always, I feel a pang of guilt in the pit of my stomach and say, “I’m sorry”. He quickly turns his face and says, “You shouldn’t be sorry….I want to be good at what I do.” I wrap my arm around him and say, “You’re getting there. You’re doing really good so far, and you’re only learning and getting better. I’m so proud of you…and so are the boys.” And they are. Jaylen’s still little so he doesn’t know too much about jobs and stuff, but Eenan does and everytime their commercial airs on TV he yells, “That’s where Daddy works!!!” I’m so proud of my husband…more than he could ever know

After Mario and I talked, I started on the peanut butter cookies I promised Annie. They came out even better than they did the first time ! Mario couldn’t stop talking about how good they were. He told me that the first time I made them and he took some to work, the guys all thought they were really good and that he kept bragging about how I made them from scratch. He said he told them, “Dude, she had a jar of peanut butter and a stick of butter on the table. And then she had cookies. She made them from scratch!” LOL…slight exaggeration on his part, but he’s too cute LOL. I have so much more baking to do in the next week. I usually help Mary bake on Christmas, since she gives little tins away with all the goodies. I need to make more peanut butter cookies and snickerdoodles (my favorite!). And of course the cupcakes I’m making for Eenan’s class. I LOVE baking. Although I do like EATING what I bake even more LOL.

So today we went to Catherine’s birthday party at Gorilla George’s. The boys had so much fun, even more than all the other times we’ve gone there. They got on the rides at least 5 times each. I was so sad that Mario wasn’t there with us, but John was there so it wasn’t totally boring. He’d keep an eye on one of the kids for me if they were on seperate rides, or if Yazmin was on a different ride than the boys. Jaylen was too cute on the “sleigh” type ride…it goes really fast in foward motion, then really fast backwards. He kept seeing Isiah raise his arms, and Eenan too on occassion, so he tried it once. He raised his hands about 2 inches above the bar in front of him and quickly clutched back onto it LOL. Poor Eenan hit his head on the headrest of the bumper cars he and Angela were on. Neither of them really know how to maneuver the car, so while they were quietly figuring it out in a corner away from all the other kids, a little boy found them an easy target and smashed right into them. Angela hurt her back and Eenan hurt his little head. The attendant had to stop the ride because she saw what happened and was worried herself. She rubbed his head (I couldn’t get in there yet) and she told me he wanted to stay in, so he did. He’s okay, thank goodness.

Catherine’s theme was Dora the Explorer. I’d never seen so many Dora the Explorer things. She got a bedroom full of stuff…she was so happy . I can’t believe she’s already 4! Damn, I’m getting old!

When we got home, Mario was already here. I’d brought him pizza, pasta and salad from the party so I didn’t have to cook dinner…yay! After he ate, he installed the speakers he bought his dad for his birthday and I made his lunch for tomorrow–lasagna. He called Albert right away to let him know I was making some, since Albert wanted some after tasting it the last time I made it. Hiram isn’t working tomorrow, but he told Mario to take him some on Tuesday LOL. Mario wants me to make a whole pan one of these days since some of the guys get “jealous” that Mario didn’t take them any. God LOL.

So that’s my update. Thank you all for the comments the past few days . I promise I’ll get back to you soon. Thank you Gonzo for the very generous gift you sent me …you’re a gem! And thank you to those who’ve sent me X-mas cards/gifts…I’ll post them up soon if I haven’t already! xoxo

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Overwhelmed

Went to drop John off a while after I posted my entry on Sunday. Didn’t get to see Mom because she was already at work . Don’t remember what else we did but we left the boys with Mary and Big Mario in the evening because they were being absolute terrors and then went grocery shopping. Came home and watched The Green Mile, which we’d borrowed from Sonia. I’d never watched that movie. It was really good…extremely sad, and LONG.

At around 11pm Mario was going to leave to play Halo 2 at Jorge’s and I kind of lost it. I was so frustrated from being home with the kids–doing nothing but cleaning, worrying about Eenan being sick, and just bored from being alone. I knew when he started working again that I’d be spending a lot of time alone with just the kids, but it bugged me that even after he got out of work that he’d go off with the guys. Every night. I’m usually really “whatever” about when he goes “out”, because I know he works his ass off and he deserves time to himself to have fun, but I’d like some time with him too. I was also pissed because it was passed 11 and he made me stay up watching the movie with him, just to have him up and leave. I usually go to bed by 11 since I wake up early and take Eenan to school and I was dead tired. We got into a little argument, he left, and then came back a few minutes later. We didn’t talk about it, we just sat in silence and watched the movie, got ready for bed and went to bed. I appologized for the things I said, but I asked him to try and understand where I’m coming from. It’s gonna take some getting used to…getting used to him not being here and being insanely bored all the time…again .

The next day I got a call from a nurse at Eenan’s doctor’s office. They wanted us to go in because the Dr. wanted to see him. I told them they’d have to wait till he got out of school…he’d already missed too much. So when Eenan got home from school, Noey took us to the doctor’s office. I’d never seen so many people there and was quickly becoming annoyed from having to wait so long just to get the X-ray and urine test results. After 2 hours they finally let us in. The X-ray showed that Eenan has pnuemonia in his right lung . Dr. Z was really surprised that the sedimentation or something like that was at 85 first, and then after the 2nd blood test, it was at 91, when it should be from 0-15. That just shows there’s an infection in the body. She was even more surprised that he wasn’t getting fevers anymore with those high numbers. She told me to just keep giving him his Nebulizer treatments and giving him his medicine as we have been. He needs to get another chest X-ray done tomorrow, has an optometrist appointment on Thursday, then an appointment with Dr. Z on Friday. I already spoke to Ms. Ortiz about it, and she’s been really understanding about him missing half days. I asked if he had any make-up work to do but she said ‘Nah, he’s doing fine.’ Oh, I hope he gets better soon. He doesn’t look or act sick, but just knowing he is in the slightest drives me crazy. I can’t stand it when they’re sick. I’m praying his X-ray comes out clear, or that he’s at least getting better.

Mom called today and told me she got the day off from work because her eye is swollen. She borrowed a Clinique eye cream from Aunt Nora and she seems to have gotten an alergic reaction. She has a doctor’s appointment, but it’s not till Thursday. I hope it’s nothing serious. Aunt Nora said it looks like it may just be Pink Eye.

Going to cut this short. Thought I finally had a few minutes to myself but Jaylen’s crawling all over me trying to get on my lap because he’s sleepy. I just want 5 minutes to myself .

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Eenan Update & Mario’s Birthday

Eenan stayed home from school on Wednesday because he still had a slight fever. When Mary got home from work that day we took Eenan to the doctor. Dr. Z. gave him a thorough check-up and was worried because he’d had the fever for so long so she requested a lab. He hated getting blood drawn . She also gave us orders to get a chest x-ray done since he was complaining about chest pain and becase he has a history of bronchial problems. She gave him new (very bad tasting) medicines, and Albuterol for his nebulizer. We stopped by H-E-B after we left the doctor’s and I got some Nyquil for me and a thermometer since ours was nowhere to be found. Thursday, Eenan went to school half the day, then Noey and I picked him up during lunch and took him for his x-ray. We still haven’t gotten the results–maybe Monday.

Mario was off Friday, his birthday . We went to pick up his check at work, cashed it, went to Home Depot to get some tools Mario needed for work, ate at Taco Bell because Jaylen and I were starving, then we picked Eenan up from school. We took him to the doctor and when we see her she says, and dammit I can’t remember the word…that something in his blood that’s supposed to be from 0-15 was at 85, which meant that there was inflammation somewhere in his body, which was an infection. She asked that labs be done again because there wasn’t enough blood for it the first time. So there’s Eenan, screaming his little head off. Took all of us to hold him down. She also told us his referral for seeing the optometrist was in the mail. My lil guy may need to wear glasses!

They needed a urine sample, and since he’d just peed when we got to the office he couldn’t pee again, so they gave us the stuff to take home and have him pee there and take the specimen to the hospital within one hour. Mary had picked Mom up from work and stopped at the doctor’s office to pick up the kids since we still had a few more places to go and they were tired. We went to Petland to get some rat food, a new water bottle for Pecan (since he’s too little for the one that came with his cage), and a “house” or something for the rats. We only found the water bottle and spent the rest of the time playing with the bunnies and ferrets. I fell in love with a Pomeranian and a Maltese puppy. They were too darn cute. I want a Pomeranian SO bad , but Mario doesn’t like “little, yappy, hairy dogs”. Grr.

We went to Pet Smart afterwards and got the rest of the stuff we needed, plus some treats for the rodents . After that we stopped at H-E-B for a cheesecake. I was supposed to make one from scratch, but it needs about 3 hours to cool and there was no way we’d have time. It was already 6pm, and everyone was meeting at Mary’s for Mario’s birthday at 7. After we got the cheesecake, we stopped by the beauty salon to get Mario’s haircut. Then, we finally went home. I helped Mary with a few things, then everyone started showing up. John was spending the weekend with us so he walked to our house afterschool. While everyone was eating, I get a call from Dr. Z. She said Eenan’s lab results came in and that his white blood cell count was at 19,000! She said to keep a log of his temperatures and not to forget to give him his medicines and nebulizer treatments. She also called in a stronger antibiotic, and asked me to check ‘urine culture’ on the sheet she gave me to turn in with his specimen. I was so worried when I hung up with her that I started to feel sick to my stomach. I just wanted Eenan to be better already. I barely ate anything and then got to giving Eenan his medicines, which I have to mix with a LOT of chocolate or strawberry milk to hide the horrible tastes. I tasted the cough medicine and it literally numbed my tongue! The antibiotic was just as horrendous and to top it off was grainy, which he hated. I took his temp., which was at 98.5 and then Mario and I got ready to go to Fast Eddie’s Billiards. We’d be meeting Jorge, Maggie and Noelia there. I kept telling myself Eenan would be fine and forced myself to have a good time. By the end of the night, I did. I totally suck at playing pool, but it was fun anyway. Mario had a good time, and I was so happy about that. We came home and John was already asleep. Noey brought Jaylen over (he was asleep too) and Eenan slept over at Mary’s. Mario and I fed all our animals and then went to bed. I’d never fallen asleep so fast.

I made breakfast for Mario the next day and of course, helped him get ready because he never knows where anything is. Then I got ready and Mary got my boys ready and we were off. It was John and his girlfriend’s 1 year anniversary, so they were going to go out for a movie. We were going to watch The Incredibles, which was really good. Really long, but really good. It was funny . John and his girlfriend watched Ray, so he was out 40 minutes before we were. We stopped to see Gramma for a little bit since I hadn’t seen her in almost 2 weeks (due to the garage sale last week). She’s doing good. She doesn’t like that her stuff is still in storage and that she’s not in the room she was in before, but she’s doing well. She’s not one to complain at all. I gathered my boys, waited out in the cold for a little bit since everyone’d gone to get gas at the gas station across the street, then we went to eat at Pizza Hut. Crappiest service ever. They never got anything right. I took the chance to get Eenan’s urine sample there LOL. So I got it, wrote the info on the container and put it away. Then we went to drop it off at the hospital which took forever. Then we went to H-E-B since I, Yadira and Sonia needed to pick up prescriptions. I bought some diapers and paper plates, then gave Eenan his medicine in the van. He took it with no problem since this one tasted much better. Like strawberries even, and it’s only once a day, which he’s happy about. Then we finally came home. Spent some time with Mario on the couch, where I ended up falling asleep for a while LOL. Eenan slept over at Mary’s again, Mario went over to Jorge’s to play Halo 2, and then I was just here with Jaylen and John. I was bored out of my mind after he went outside to talk on the phone with his girlfriend, so I fed my animals and went to bed. I slept so good last night. My nose wasn’t running and I wasn’t drooling on my pillow for once. I can’t wait to be completely over this damn cold!

Don’t know what we’re doing today. I need to buy a broom. I think that’s what I’m gonna do after I finish my leftover pizza and apple Fanta.

[edit 11-15-04] Holy crap! Was looking through Ebay and found this! I HAVE this doll…I had no idea she’d go for THAT MUCH in the UK![/edit]

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